ALD Literary Agency (Leonid Dubizhansky)

[laurenpburka]

I work for a small press specializing in sex-positive erotica. We do not accept any unsolicited novel submissions. ALD sent us a book called "How to Hate Sex With Primordial Innocence." Losers.

 

[victoriastrauss]

OMG. Worst...title...ever.

- Victoria

 

[ChristineR]

That book is already published. Or was this a while ago?

I wanted to know what the novel was about. Now I've read its blurb, and I still don't know what its about, but I don't think its sex-positive. It's not grammar-positive either, I'm afraid...

 

[victoriastrauss]

Matei, the central character, is young going to the seaside to fulfil all his erotic dreams. He quickly falls in love with a strange gipsy, a girl that is introduced to him by an older friend. However, this friend of him is found murdered hours later, and Matei gets arrested and accused of murder as the gipsy sex bomb was the girlfriend of the murdered. As he is released, he learns that the strange gipsy girl was, in fact, both girlfriend and sister of his former friend. In the end, the character discovers that what he though of perversity is obsolete and innocent: true innocence may last even in the deepest perversity. Overwhelmed by guilt and unfulfilled love, he decides to emasculate himself.

Not sex-positive. No, not a bit.

- Victoria

 

[Nexuswulf]

I had sent ALD a query, and Leonid replied by telling me publishers don't accept manuscripts written by first time authors. Dumbest thing I have ever heard.

 

[Greg Wilson]

However, this friend of him is found murdered hours later, and Matei gets arrested and accused of murder as the gipsy sex bomb was the girlfriend of the murdered...In the end, the character discovers that what he though of perversity is obsolete and innocent: true innocence may last even in the deepest perversity. Overwhelmed by guilt and unfulfilled love, he decides to emasculate himself.

You know, I can't help wondering what the friend of him, obsolete, innocent and perverse, would have though about emasculation. Maybe we find out from the gipsy sex bomb.

 

[Giant Baby]

You know, I can't help wondering what the friend of him, obsolete, innocent and perverse, would have though about emasculation. Maybe we find out from the gipsy sex bomb.

I am the gipsy sex bomb.

Sorry, no answers here. You could check with the Bureau for Obsolete and Innocent Perversity (BOIP). Maybe they can help?

 

[Marian Perera]

Just try reading the first few pages through Amazon's Search Inside feature.

For that matter, just try reading the first paragraph.

Oh, wait... they're the same thing.

 

[CaoPaux]

*smothered giggle*

Yes, well, assuming this is the same book and is/was agented by ALD, let's leave it to be a shining example of his agenting skill and--Look! The Winged Victory of Samothrace!

 

[James D. Macdonald]

How to Hate Sex With Primordial Innocence is published by a vanity press. 'Nuff said.

 

[laurenpburka]

Since most of the press works remotely, we set up a twitter feed at http://twitter.com/circletslush to share the pain. This is where I found the comment about ALD. If you want some idea of what the slush pile at a small press looks like, feel free to have a look.

 

[CaoPaux]

Site is down. Domain not due to expire until June ....

 

[Sundance]

Caution! After a query ALD asked for the full ms. which cost a ream of paper and $10.50 postage. When he offered to represent me and asked if I had any other offers, I said no, but I had sent the query to others. When I indicated I wanted to know how many books he sold in the past year and expected a contract to review, I received an email saying he didn't want to compete with anyone else and he was withdrawing his offer. His reaction seemed extremely strange to me.

 

[victor]

Ald Agency

WARNING!!! Leo is a major douche bag!!! He takes advantage of new writers....Does NOT return phone calls...Does NOT have a working web page...sends invoices for supposed printing costs but, with NO names of were they are being sent!! When I asked him he replied my contract is void....Do NOT deal with this company..I don't even think this is a company....his emails are crude and rude....