Accidental Pregnancy Ideas

[MaryLennox]

I've completed my first rough draft of a small town romance I'm working on. The story involves an accidental pregnancy between to the two love interests (m/f), and I can't decide how exactly that should happen. They are two competent adults, so I find it difficult to think up a plausible reason they could slip up. The characters knew each other in high school and went to prom together, but haven't seen each other in 12 years. They're a bit tipsy after re-meeting at a mutual friend's wedding and decide to have a casual fling, since they're both from out of town. They use a super old wallet condom, which seems like a fairly common set up in accidental pregnancy stories, like Bridget Jones using the super old dolphin condoms. They don't realize anything was wrong with the condom until a few weeks later when the woman realizes she's pregnant.

I don't have any reason for her not being on birth control pills. At the moment, I don't really go into that in the actual book, but feel like I should at least acknowledge it when I go back through the draft and start cleaning stuff up. The most likely reason is she simply can't afford it, since she's currently broke. The story takes place in Ontario and bc pills only cost about $20 a month, but I guess if you're trying to make ends meet and you're currently not having sex and not really planning to, it would be one of the first things to cut out.

I'm not completely sold on the old condom idea since it seems super overdone, but I'm not sure of other ways two smart adults would slip up? Even using a super old condom seems like something they wouldn't necessarily do? I don't really want them to be irresponsibly drunk and have black-out-barely-remember-even-having-sex sex, because that always feels super creepy to me and borderline rape-ish with dubious consent.

I also want to read more accidental pregnancy books, because I feel like all my references are coming from movies and tv. If anyone has any recs it'd be appreciated. I am most interested in modern day contemporary recs.

 

[Maryn]

Maybe she can have my experience? I was long married, reliably taking the pill while Mr Maryn used condoms every single time. Other than abstinence there wasn’t anything more we could do to prevent pregnancy. Yet I got pregnant just the same. Overlaps of birth control failure are rare, but they happen. If your female MC doesn’t choose to end the pregnancy for moral, religious, or other reasons, then you have your unplanned pregnancy.

( The baby was and is amazing, for the record.)

 

[MaryLennox]

Maybe she can have my experience? I was long married, reliably taking the pill while Mr Maryn used condoms every single time. Other than abstinence there wasn’t anything more we could do to prevent pregnancy. Yet I got pregnant just the same. Overlaps of birth control failure are rare, but they happen. If your female MC doesn’t choose to end the pregnancy for moral, religious, or other reasons, then you have your unplanned pregnancy.

( The baby was and is amazing, for the record.)

Thank you for sharing. I don't have kids and have never had an accidental pregnancy or even a pregnancy scare of any kind, so was unsure how often this happens when you are actually doing everything you could possibly be doing to prevent pregnancy, short of abstinence.

 

[CMBright]

Contraception failure rates from the CDC website.

Unusual, but contraception doesn't always work. If a barrier method is used improperly or one forgets doses of the pills, the rates are even higher.

 

[Catriona Grace]

You're overthinking it, Mary. Birth control ain't perfect. Babies happen. I still can't explain my first pregnancy. Considered calling the child Ortha Nova after the failed pill.

(PS The Secret Garden is my favorite book in existence.)

 

[Unimportant]

I don't have any reason for her not being on birth control pills.

As others have said: condoms are not 100% guaranteed. Condom however is the wiser choice for a fling since they also prevent sexually transmitted infections, which BC pills do not.

She could be not taking BC pills because she's not sexually active and so doesn't need to; or because she has a familial/genetic high risk of breast cancer and using BC pill contraception is an added risk; or because she reacts badly to them and gets weird mood swings etc.

 

[MaryLennox]

You're overthinking it, Mary. Birth control ain't perfect. Babies happen. I still can't explain my first pregnancy. Considered calling the child Ortha Nova after the failed pill.

(PS The Secret Garden is my favorite book in existence.)

I think the thing I'm overthinking is readers overthinking, lol. I don't want them to either a) think the characters just did nothing to prevent it, or b) think I'm just making up stuff for the sake of the story.

But I guess the characters can discuss the fact that they did use protection and they just happen to be in that percentage of people who had things not work out as expected.

 

[MaryLennox]

As others have said: condoms are not 100% guaranteed. Condom however is the wiser choice for a fling since they also prevent sexually transmitted infections, which BC pills do not.

She could be not taking BC pills because she's not sexually active and so doesn't need to; or because she has a familial/genetic high risk of breast cancer and using BC pill contraception is an added risk; or because she reacts badly to them and gets weird mood swings etc.

Yes, I definitely have choices for her reason to not be on birth control, thanks.

 

[SariBelleW]

I think it's becoming very common these days for women to choose not to go on BC because they don't like the effect the hormones have on their mental health and/or their physical health. I know of several just in my friendship circles.

And, as someone else mentioned, having a family history of breast cancer is a serious concern. I'm in this camp and taking the mini-pill is recommend as it's only progesterone, whereas the combi pill is progesterone and oestrogen, which is higher risk. It's much easier to stuff up the mini pill - you don't just have to have it every day but at the SAME TIME every day for it to be effective.

 

[Unimportant]

There's also the possibility that one of them has been told prior by medical specialists that they're infertile. Medical specialists are sometimes wrong

 

[MaryLennox]

I think it's becoming very common these days for women to choose not to go on BC because they don't like the effect the hormones have on their mental health and/or their physical health. I know of several just in my friendship circles.

And, as someone else mentioned, having a family history of breast cancer is a serious concern. I'm in this camp and taking the mini-pill is recommend as it's only progesterone, whereas the combi pill is progesterone and oestrogen, which is higher risk. It's much easier to stuff up the mini pill - you don't just have to have it every day but at the SAME TIME every day for it to be effective.

I don't remember what kind it was, but I was briefly on the pill years ago and I chose to stop because I had very intense panic attacks.

But as someone who doesn't really want to have kids, after reading this thread, I am never having sex again. lol

But in all seriousness, every partner I've ever been with, we've always had the talk about 'what if', so if there was a surprise, there wasn't the extra surprise of what we planned on doing about it.

 

[MaryLennox]

There's also the possibility that one of them has been told prior by medical specialists that they're infertile. Medical specialists are sometimes wrong

Actually, that happened to a friend of a friend. I forget what exactly the medical condition was, but she was told she couldn't get pregnant, but she did.

 

[Unimportant]

Actually, that happened to a friend of a friend. I forget what exactly the medical condition was, but she was told she couldn't get pregnant, but she did.

Yep. One of my staff got pregnant because her husband had been diagnosed as infertile. It only takes a handful of swimmers to do the deed!

 

[MaeZe]

Like @Maryn I have a wonderful son and don't regret my accidental pregnancy but it did happen. This may be too complicated for your story.

I had issues with BCPs after using them for years. So I was using a diaphragm. That also worked fine. But looking at one's normal cycle, a couple of days after one's menses you don't ovulate. So I didn't use the diaphragm for those couple of days. When I got pregnant I went back over my cycle to see what I had done wrong. Turns out sperm can live about five-six days in your uterus. I had not included that in my calculation of 'safe' days. Whoops.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/fertility-awareness

It happens.

You don't need to overthink it, the reader understands BC can fail.

 

[MaeZe]

Yep. One of my staff got pregnant because her husband had been diagnosed as infertile. It only takes a handful of swimmers to do the deed!

I had a friend, she and her husband tried for years to have kids but she never got pregnant. A scarred fallopian tube from an earlier STD was suspected. So they adopted. Then when she was in her forties she got pregnant.

 

[ChaseJxyz]

Short of getting your uterus pulled out of you, any and all forms of birth control have a chance at failing. The rates you see are based on the person doing everything right. It's common to forget to take a pill, especially if life is hectic and that's the only daily med you have to take. I don't think it's an issue anymore, but antibiotics could screw up some forms of oral birth control. And also you'd have to take it at the same time every single day.

Everyone has heard a story of birth control failing. Either from someone they know or from tv. It happens al the time lol so don't worry about it

 

[Jazz Club]

Even new condoms don't have a 100% success rate, so I don't think anyone is going to question why it didn't work. Or if they were really drunk, you could imply they didn't put it on properly. Or maybe it split, and they were like '...oops'.

And you really don't need to explain to the reader why she's not on BC. It's not mandatory, like all women have to go on it unless they provide a doctor's note. Some women don't want the side-effects, pyschological or physical. Some find it causes loss of libido. Some don't expect to be having sex for a while, but they meet someone and it just happens. Etc.

 

[CWNitz]

If you're worried about the reader being skeptical, you can have the MC go through the whole process of "but why didn't it work? We did everything correctly!"

It would be amazing to have two competent adults who did nothing wrong end up with a baby. In the anti-choice discourse, there's often someone saying, "well, it's your fault in the first place for not using BC properly," when it can happen to anyone.

My sister also got pregnant with regular new condoms. I had no idea that could happen at the time.

 

[CMBright]

A friend told me of an encounter where a condom was used. When he went to take the condom off, they couldn't find it. It had slipped off at some point during the encounter. Not long after, they found out she was pregnant with twins, possibly from the lost condom incident.

I'd forgotten some meds do have a negative impact on the effectiveness of the pill.

Precum close enough to the opening before a barrier method is used could deposit enough cells to do the job. They do need to be left on or near the groin.

 

[anaemic_mind]

Read any parenting forum/online group and you'll find many are there despite their uses of condoms/pills/coils. I know people who were told they were infertile and got pregnant, some had their tubes tied and still got pregnant. Yes, some pregnancies can be down to user error (forgetting to take a pill, putting the condom on wrong etc) but you can do everything right and still end up with a kid. Nothing short of abstinence or a full hysterectomy is pregnancy-proof.

 

[InkFinger]

Just a thought, but my wife stopped the pill for a short period in an attempt to control migraines - doctor's recommendation, didn't work. We've never figured out why she gets migraines. That said, it was a six month period with no BC.

 

[Fi Webster]

You're overthinking it, Mary. Birth control ain't perfect. Babies happen. I still can't explain my first pregnancy. Considered calling the child Ortha Nova after the failed pill.

I heartily agree. In my highly educated and cautious cohort, "oops" babies are definitely a thing. My sister, for example, intended to have two kids. A condom failure led to a third child when she was 41.

 

[frimble3]

Maybe this could be a scene in your book? After the "Oops! OMG! I can't be pregnant!" moment, she has to break the news to friends and family. And those women tell her all sorts of stories about all the ways there are for mistakes to happen.

 

[ElaineA]

I think it's becoming very common these days for women to choose not to go on BC because they don't like the effect the hormones have on their mental health and/or their physical health. I know of several just in my friendship circles.

My step-daughter is one of these, as well. She has never used hormonal BC, and she and her husband have used nothing but condoms their entire relationship (except when actively pursuing pregnancy). I think the heroine not choosing BC part, especially if she's single, is not a problem for a character at all.

 

[Lea123]

As the result of someone being told their chances of conceiving are low... the possibilities are (not quite) endless.

The whole failed condom thing could also spark up the side conflict of 'It can't possibly be my kid because I used a rubber'. That all depends on the dynamic of the characters though and what kind of guy he is as to whether he'd take a lot of convincing it's his.

That said, if they're both tipsy then inhibitions do slide and it doesn't always take much. In the heat of the moment, 'It'll be fine' can knock the old common sense out the window. I don't care how careful you normally are or how respectable or sensible, it means Jack if alcohol is involved. Not that I have experience of that either, of course.

*I'm also in that group that hormonal birth control messes up. Physically and mentally, I can't hack it. It turns me into someone I'm not and the difference vs. being off it is horrendous. My OH knew this when I started seeing him and we were always careful... until that one time we weren't. I can literally pin point my little girl's date of conception.