Re: Sir Scammed
Ludlow looks to be serious in its intentions. The two books it offers have nicely designed covers, are blurbed by actual writers and appear to have gotten trade reviews. One was a Booksense pick, which indicates that this publisher markets to the book trade. Another indication of this: it works with a distributor (as opposed to just a wholesaler). These are all good signs, indications of professionalism.
It sounds as if they'd expect the author to be very active with marketing and promoting, which you'd expect with a smaller publisher--however, what exactly do they mean by saying they want the author to share this cost? Pay his own way to booksignings (no problem) or buy his own books for resale (not so great)? Also, like some other small publishers, they recoup the publishing costs before they pay you any royalties. This isn't exactly like asking you for a fee, but it is a way for the publisher to palm some of its financial risk off on you.
About your query. I'm one of those people who thinks that quirky, unconventional queries can work, if done right. Your query is amusing and distinctive, and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't try such an approach, especially since you haven't had much luck with something more straightforward. The problem I have with it is that while one does get the sense that this is a wild and wacky mix of stuff, one doesn't really get a sense of what the book's actually about. Your "book statement" does give that sense. So--IMO at least--you need to combine the two (and lose the separate "marketing" statement).
Here's a stab at it, not much altered from your own prose--though I did cut the Kafka reference, because at that point it seemed to me that the whimsy had gone on long enough, and we needed a cut to the chase.
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One day, a bit bored, I asked myself a literary question: Would it be possible to combine the carnal rants of Burroughs’ “Naked Lunch” and existentialism of Kerouac’s “On the Road” and, while I’m at it, weave several obscure, Warhol-like pop culture references into the tale, all while maintaining plot consistency?
Hmmm…with your writing ability?
Easy now. What if I were to embellish my main character (“Alex”) with an alter-ego who likes to write poetry and dwell on idiosyncrasies and then have them engage each other throughout, in a steady stream of witty banter and philosophical debate?
Yeah, the mental health angle. How novel.
Patience, unbeliever. What if Alex then fell in love with a superstitious college girl with golden Bo Derek-braids who just so happened to be a distant relation to Count Dracula, and what if he began to blow things up in his spare time for money?
Oh, great; sex, violence, greed…and Dracula? You’re nuttier than this guy.
No name calling, please. Assuming the answers to the prior three questions are “yes,” could I then possibly weave this bizarre hodgepodge of dizzying variables into a fairly classic espionage tale, with corrupt FBI agents, car chases, burning SUV’s and assassinations?
Hmmm…
The result of my temporary insanity is a novel entitled “Green Asylum,” just under 93,000 words in length. Meet Alex Booker. Brilliant…hip…sexy…and frankly, a bit mad. Alex is a carnal-obsessed, ex-army demolitions expert who performs contracts for a secretive, radical environmental group known simply as the “Organization.” As time progresses, the contracts become more complex and dangerous, eventually calling for targeted assassinations against CEO’s of major industrial polluters. But Alex has a problem. He has unwittingly fallen for the daughter of a CEO who is soon to be targeted, and the FBI is hot on his trail. More important, he must deal with an increasing sense of alienation to the world in which he lives and a fleeting reality which is beginning to elude him. Eventually, he has no choice but to surrender to the dark forces tormenting his soul.
A sassy, street-smart, slang-infested diatribe of existential furor and “beat” rhythms, Green Asylum is the Dr. Caligari of espionage thrillers, an unrelenting foray into poetic madness.
- Victoria