I agree, the joke in our house(although I do work and financially contribute) but the joke is I'm a kept woman. Because I'm casual and he is the breadwinner we joke about it, but it is important that we recognize each others roles and what we contribute. I see nothing wrong with stoking an egoI'm not a man but I see that light turn on his eyes in a couple ways I didn't expect -
~~ When i am actually able to make a pun or joke or comment that is funny, I mean that's a rare thing, he looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time. (decades together). Like he's glad I'm there, and he remembered why he likes me.
~~ A woman I worked with once has a phrase she says to men that she dates. It was "A man like you shouldn't need to ..." followed with an action.
Such as: "A man like you shouldn't need to pour his own coffee" while pouring him a cup of coffee. (A man like you shouldn't need to walk the dog. Et cetera.)
Now, this is admittedly manipulative, doing a task and stroking the man's ego, simultaneously, presumably for an ulterior reason. But it might be worth considering in your list.
~~ A more honest and simple comment that undoes my husband (undoes in the 'sort of a turn-on' sense) is to say to him, genuinely because it is true, simply and sincerely and occasionally - "You have provided for our family for twenty years. I see it, I recognize it. Thank you, sweetheart." <--- Here's the thing, I think some men are wired to 'be providers.' But it is unusual in our society for couples to acknowledge this between themselves. So they slog away day in and day out, with no one recognizing it. I think when it does get recognized, it can be a turn on.
This last one can work both ways. Some men have figured that out.
Ha...ok...but what does your partner do that turns you on...you're still a man it doesn't matter that your partner is another man...what does he do that gets your pulse racing?Speaking as a gay man, absolutely nothing.
Thanks I will check it out.Jan, one of my favorite bloggers who writes about male/female attraction dynamics, psychology, and all that other fun stuff is Evan Marc Katz. His angle is a male perspective for the female audience.
http://http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/
Well I'm 5ft2 so me and my hubby are rarely eye level I think that is a theme, a confident woman.There are little gestures, postures and such that can up the attraction, like smiles that really feel like they're oming from deep within or letting one's hair down in just the right way, but those can vary depending on the woman. In general, I'm attracted by any woman who does something with confidence. Competence and passion, too, but confidence isn't just about the activity. It's about the person.
Also, brains. I do love a smart conversation.
Here's a big turn-off for a change: Admiration. I cringe at everything that suggests a power imbalance. I get uncomfortable when people look up to me, especially women. I want equals. Maybe that's why I enjoy conversations. They work best on eye level.
So that is what you are physically attracted to, but what does she do that stokes the fire? Does she make a wicked pasta, ride horses, tame tigers, clean fish, crack jokes? While there is of course that physical attraction, but as a woman I'm attracted to my husband not only for looks but for things he does.Auburn hair, almond eyes, is Italian, good looking. I met 2 like this that suited me in my half-lifetime in Italy. Loved one, married one.
What does our sex do that makes you want us?
So that is what you are physically attracted to, but what does she do that stokes the fire? Does she make a wicked pasta, ride horses, tame tigers, clean fish, crack jokes? While there is of course that physical attraction, but as a woman I'm attracted to my husband not only for looks but for things he does.
what do women do that turns a man on? In the general overall sense of the word. I don't mean sexual acts I just mean what does our sex do that makes you want us? Seeing your woman mothering your children, looking after your home, cooking, gardening....just activities in general....brushing her hair etc.....
NO! it was NOT. It was exactly the opposite of that.Was your question, instead, "what should women do to attract a man for what they want in a man?"
Since this thread is resurrected, may I please ask that men who graciously choose to answer actually look at the question being asked? (Because it IS helpful for building characterization, for finding tidbits that women authors might not think of, and there have been some excellent examples of that already, including Jason's post.) That way it doesn't devolve into generalizations about how women should look/behave to suit "men."
See? It's not an invitation to tell women what (general) men don't like. It isn't an invitation to advise on how to police ourselves to make us desirable. It's asking for anecdotal examples of acts of daily life (not sexual intimacy) that make you have a warm fuzzy feeling toward a woman you (one man) are attracted to. Not, "women shouldn't wear makeup, perfume, or fancy underwear because men don't want that."
NO! it was NOT. It was exactly the opposite of that.
I've always been attracted to women who look interesting - intelligence and wit are huge pluses in my book. A willingness to step back and see the world for what it is - the beauty / irony / tragedy of it all. A sense of humor - and eventually inside jokes once we become partners. Someone that looks like they would be fun to know.
I believe beauty comes down to health actually - nice hair, clear skin, good teeth, and good physical shape - all these are aspects of real beauty. Make-up and stupid uncomfortable clothes have never done a thing for me. I told my wife that there's a consortium of fashion designers out there that have a bet among themselves every year, to see who can come up with the most idiotic, uncomfortable, impractical, and downright ugly thing that women will actually buy. In my book, none of that fashion stuff matters.
Long ago Harrison Ford was in a movie with a woman that was the latest Hollywood big deal. He was a pilot, and she worked for a magazine like Cosmo. Anyway they were stranded on a desert island (naturally). The single moment in that movie that struck me funny was him telling this woman that none of that stuff she writes about matters to men. Perfume, scented candles, fancy underwear - none of it mattered, all we (men) want is for you (women) to SHOW UP. That's pretty much spot on in my view.
To finally answer the question.... All women have to do is be willing to fulfill the need(s) of any given man, at any given time, for a man to want them.
Was your question, instead, "what should women do to attract a man for what they want in a man?"
NO! it was NOT. It was exactly the opposite of that.
LOLOLOL no. Anyone who does this shit needs a punch in the throat and a good lesson on self respect, ffs. I know women and men who do this. It doesn’t surprise me that they keep getting dumped, because really, nothing is less attractive than fulfilling the needs of someone at any given time.
You assume needs specifies lust. In my original post, I gave different scenarios of needs (help financially, getting married, lust, other). Man A wants to get married. He goes to the marketplace (eHarmony.com dating site) and finds a compatible bride. They get married. Although lust may be involved, marriage is the need.
Lol wut. No, I did not. Did I say anything about lust? You said “to fulfill the needs of any given man at any given time”. To me, that doesn’t necessarily equate to lust. It does equate to sheer idiocy, though.