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I think it depends on what the story is about. Is the main plot of the story about how they fall in love again? Then yes, I'd say that's a romance. But if the main focus of the plot is on the established couple dealing with other things, as the OP described in her post, and not on the re-evolution of their relationship, then it would not be a romance.
Sure, sure. If it's about a husband and wife crime solving team, then it's a mystery, even if maybe they work through some relationship issues along the way. And I re-read the OP and see she was talking about a romantic subplot in a fantasy novel.
But I think this answers some of bombergirl's issues about whether the romance genre can deal with keeping the passion alive as well as kindling it. The answer is yes it can. As long as the end result is an eternal flame (well, at least a flame for now).