Worst.Idea.Ever.

I would like to put in my claim for having the worst luck in picking a piece of dialogue (or story idea, theme, protagonist name, what have you). I wrote the first draft of a short story a few months ago, and just got around last night to doing the final edit. The opening sentence leads into a few paragraphs where you realize the secondary character is certifiably insane. While that's all well and good, I might have to wait a few years to begin submitting it if I keep the first line:

“You know the Pope is a robot, right?”

Anyone else willing to embarrass themselves publicly?

Let's just say that the opening line is one of the least offensive things about the story.

Ashton Kutcher topped me

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2005182400,00.html

Kutcher said that he had wanted to go to Rome after the Pope died.

While the Cardinals were picking the next one.

Then after the new pope was picked, instead of releasing smoke, Kutcher would come out and tell the world they had been 'Punk'd' (that Pope John Paul was actually still alive and his death was just a prank), then after the shock wore off he would introduce the new pope.

Kutcher was disappointed that the Catholic Church turned him down.

They felt that pretending that Pope John Paul was still alive in order to pull a prank on the world would somewhat lessen their stature and be in poor taste.

It was in bad taste because if you are Catholic it makes light of your faith, and at the expense of the Vicar of Christ, the putative representative of God here on earth for nearly 2000 years.

If your just a dumb okie like me, it's in bad taste because most folks frown on using the recently dead for comedy bits.

I admit it. I'm secretly Anonymous Author, and also Simak. I stole my own million-dollar idea. Because I'm a robot.

With a Badge!