Ten Rules for Life - What are yours?

Joycecwilliams · Apr 11, 2008

I went to funeral service the other day, and although it was not a happy time a daughter read her father's 10 rules for life. It was humorous piece.

It got me to thinking about what I would want my children to do after I die. So I made my own. What are your ten rules for life. Are they humorus? Serious? Insightful? Please feel free to post them. Here are mine.

Never trust anyone who says "I don't lie." They always do.

Eliminate Pumpkin Smashers from you life. They are the people who get joy from ruining something you create, whether it is a dream or an item.

Trust your gut feelings. They are seldom wrong.

Take at least one ride a year on an amusement ride. It will keep you young at heart.

Don't go to every argument you are invited to.

Always have a birthday cake on your birthday, even if you have to buy it yourself.

Have some friends that are younger than you. They'll be around when your long time friends are gone.

Have some friends that are older than you. You can learn a lot from them, if you listen.

Give. If you can't donate money, donate your time. The benefits will surprise you.

Never leave without telling your love ones you love them.

Bartholomew · Apr 12, 2008

(1 - If the mods aren't frothing at the mouth in rage, I can't log out yet.

(2 - I must also have at least 33 negative reputation points per given session before logging out.

(3 - Additionally, I must receive at least 5 rep points, good or bad, on a thread older than five months.

(4 - I must misread a forum post, write a nasty and hurtful reply to it---and then have it pointed out by a mod that I misread the post, thus forcing a quick edit and long apology.

(5 - I cannot log out without poking Shweta in some fashion.

(6 - Must. Read. Everything. On. Politics. Board.

(7 - Also, I cannot log out without having written, and sequentially deleted at least two PM's to Haskins.

(8 - When all of these conditions are met, I may lay down and sleep.

(9 - Upon waking, I must immediately log into the forums and repeat rules 1 through 9.

(10 - This rule can go anywhere between the others---I must remind myself that I am not addicted to this forum.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

Bartholomew said:
(1 - If the mods aren't frothing at the mouth in rage, I can't log out yet.

(2 - I must also have at least 33 negative reputation points per given session before logging out.

(3 - Additionally, I must receive at least 5 rep points, good or bad, on a thread older than five months.

(4 - I must misread a forum post, write a nasty and hurtful reply to it---and then have it pointed out by a mod that I misread the post, thus forcing a quick edit and long apology.

(5 - I cannot log out without poking Shweta in some fashion.

(6 - Must. Read. Everything. On. Politics. Board.

(7 - Also, I cannot log out without having written, and sequentially deleted at least two PM's to Haskins.

(8 - When all of these conditions are met, I may lay down and sleep.

(9 - Upon waking, I must immediately log into the forums and repeat rules 1 through 9.

(10 - This rule can go anywhere between the others---I must remind myself that I am not addicted to this forum.

LOL

Ken · Apr 12, 2008

1. "If something mechanical doesn't work give it a good kick to get it going."
(source: British Royal Navy general in the movie "The Longest Day.")
2-10 coming soon...

Jersey Chick · Apr 12, 2008

1) Don't sweat the small stuff

2) No matter how bad things are, the sun will rise tomorrow

3) A child's hug can make even the bleakest day a little brighter

4) You're never lost until you pull the car off the road, kill the ignition, throw the keys out the window, and declare defeat

5) Vegging out to tv once in a while is a good thing

6) cereal is good for any meal, or snack - not just breakfast

7) If I write 5 pages of pure crap, at least I've written something

8) It's okay if the bills go out a little late (as long as it's not the mortgage

)

9) Happiness really is a warm tiger

10) No rules are set in stone - change them if you need to.

11) Bonus rule - don't let fear hold you back - you might miss some truly amazing things. So, look it in the eye and kick its bony little ass into oblivion

Haggis · Apr 12, 2008

I. Strive for mediocrity. If you succeed, you'll be pleasantly surprised. If you fail, it won't seem so bad.

II. If you call in sick frequently, your boss will learn to better appreciate the times you actually show up for work.

III. Never have an affair with someone who lives within 100 miles of your home.

IV. Any time you need extra money, consider selling single cigarettes to small children at a huge markup.

V. Honesty is the best policy. For the other guy.

VI. A penny earned is a drop in the bucket.

VII. Your body is a temple. It requires sacrifices. Mine demands beer and cigarettes.

VIII. Carpe feminae.

IX. Never vote for an incumbent.

X. Always carry spare, clean urine.

Don Allen · Apr 12, 2008

1. force yourself to participate in a sexualy activity, even when you don't want to.
2. see number 1.
3. Crap is bad, don't take crap, don't spew crap, don't step in crap, don't crap where you eat.
4. Pay taxes... BIGGIE.. Never claim a deduction that will awaken the sleeping giant. It just ain't worth it.
5. Vote... for anyone, but vote, don't let the bastards count you out.
6. don't marry a downer, don't be a downer, if you do,or are, change partners or lighten up.
7. Eat well.... no shit.. eat good stuff, it really does make you feel better.
8. go to movies. they put you in a better frame of mind
9. Have a pet. you'll never have a truer love.
10. screw off. as much as you can as often as you can whenever you can. Piss on saving all the money you can until you're to old to use it.

Ken · Apr 12, 2008

5) Vegging out to tv once in a while is a good thing

I hear you, jersey.
Dizzy Gilespie actually used to watch hours worth of tv soap operas before going on stage to perform. So I guess we're in good company

dpaterso · Apr 12, 2008

Don't have any children, they just want want want.
Don't trust anyone, unless you have them at knifepoint.
If you find a suitcase full of money, keep it, it's yours.
Never kick an animal if someone is looking.
Don't be a hero, live to sell the story to the media.
If you're ever caught red-handed, announce loudly that you're a witness.
If anyone ever threatens to kill you, kill them first.
Don't dance if the music is crap, you're not the entertainment.
Never leave home without enough money to get back.
Don't make a bet with a man who says a monkey will squirt water in your ear.

-Derek

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

Jersey Chick said:
4) You're never lost until you pull the car off the road, kill the ignition, throw the keys out the window, and declare defeat

11) Bonus rule - don't let fear hold you back - you might miss some truly amazing things. So, look it in the eye and kick its bony little ass into oblivion

I think these are my favorites.. I never consider myself lost. I just don't know where I am.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

anis said:
1. "If something mechanical doesn't work give it a good kick to get it going."

I find that this is very true. Wish it worked on people.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

Haggis said:
III. Never have an affair with someone who lives within 100 miles of your home.

I have the same rule, except living in the boone docks... I dropped it down to 30 miles.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

dpaterso said:
Never leave home without enough money to get back.

I think it would okay to do this, as long as your resourseful.. It fact it might lead to an adventure..

rhymegirl · Apr 12, 2008

Actually Joyce I really like the ones you came up with.

I'll have to think about this then get back to you. I might have to borrow a few of yours.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

rhymegirl said:
Actually Joyce I really like the ones you came up with.

I'll have to think about this then get back to you. I might have to borrow a few of yours.

Well thank you. But would that be plagerism?

maestrowork · Apr 12, 2008

- Love what you do
- Do what you love
- Life is too short to be stuck in a rut
- Have fun; what is life if you're not having fun with it?
- We all die alone, so make yourself happy first
- You are not who other people say you are
- Only you know who you really are
- Do your best, and the rest will come
- Never fall in love with a married person
- It's really so much easier to ask for forgiveness than permission
- Break rules, but not until you know the rules first
- Take risks, if you really want something so badly -- go for it
- Life is all about experiences -- so do you have them?

bluntforcetrauma · Apr 12, 2008

1- If it's an SBD, for goodness' sake, don't lay claim to it!
2- If you run into someone worse off than you are, they are probably uninsured
3- Duck before you walk into a bar
4- The best place to hide a t*rd is in a pile of sh*t
5- If you're caught with your pants down, deny it anyway
6- Leave 'em scratchin' their heads
7- If someone breaks your heart, bust their jaw
8- If the fish woulda kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't have got caught
9- Eat garlic? Then expect to have bad breath
10-Love somebody

maestrowork · Apr 12, 2008

Love is a boomerang.

Haggis · Apr 12, 2008

maestrowork said:
Love is a boomerang.

I never did get the hang of throwing those things.

Ken · Apr 12, 2008

maestrowork said:
Love is a boomerang.

If that means that when you fall in love you usually wind up getting whacked in the head then I agree completely.

bluntforcetrauma · Apr 12, 2008

11- If you don't like my apples, you can shake my tree

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

maestrowork said:
- It's really so much easier to ask for forgiveness than permission

I think this so true, and I tend to do that myself.

Great List.

Joycecwilliams · Apr 12, 2008

bluntforcetrauma said:
1- If it's an SBD, for goodness' sake, don't lay claim to it!

Great words to live by.

Mom'sWrite · Apr 12, 2008

I don't have 10 rules. That's too many to remember, short attention spans and all.

I have two.

1. Don't scare the mama.
2. Don't piss off the mama.

By living within the parameters of these two simple rules, my children will grow up into happy, healthy, giving, productive members of society. That will keep the mama happy.

dpaterso · Apr 12, 2008

Seems overcomplicated. Couldn't you condense to one simple rule:

1. Keep the mama happy.

?

-Derek

Ten Rules for Life - What are yours?

Joycecwilliams

Bartholomew

Comic guy

Joycecwilliams

Ken

Jersey Chick

Up all night to get Loki

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Don Allen

Seeking a Sanctuary of Intelligence

Ken

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Joycecwilliams

Joycecwilliams

Joycecwilliams

Joycecwilliams

rhymegirl

It's a New Year!

Joycecwilliams

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

bluntforcetrauma

Esquire

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Ken

bluntforcetrauma

Esquire

Joycecwilliams

Joycecwilliams

Mom'sWrite

Service with a smile

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels