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DWSTXS
04-02-2008, 10:36 PM
I am a big fan of slang, and arcane verbiage.

I also think that cursing, when used correctly, can really enhance a character.

My grandmother used to say (when us kids had exasperated the crap out of her) 'It's enough to make a preacher cuss!'

and a successful, sexy, eccentric woman I know has a special term for some people. She doesn't just call them cock-s****r, or mother-f***er.

She calls them 'cock-knocker!'

so, come on, AW'ers, let's hear some original, or rarely-used cursing that you've come across, or use...

Shweta
04-02-2008, 10:40 PM
...For novel research purposes, or just for fun?

Cranky
04-02-2008, 10:41 PM
"Shit fire and light a match" was my father's favorite.

As a companion curse, my mother would sometimes say, "Shit fire in a frying pan." What that means, I don't really know.

DWSTXS
04-02-2008, 10:44 PM
...For novel research purposes, or just for fun?

either way is fu***ng okay.

actually though, everyone hears cursing. I was thinking more along the lines of stuff you don't hear often. Which, in my opnion, makes it good enough to be in a story as something 'different'.

Of course, any plain old cursing could be used in a creative way that could make a character more interesting. I guess it would just depend upon the abilities of the author.

In fact, it might be just as interesting to see how a good writer could make a person MORE interesting by NOT cursing, or by coming up with more creative ways to curse in new ways.

A recent example, is on the HBO series, The Wire. One character, (Omar) a drug dealer, is well known for making his living ripping off other dealers, yet he is well-read and intelligent, and sets himself apart by NEVER cursing. He also walk the streets at night carrying a sawed-off shotgun while whistling 'The Farmer in the Dell'

Shweta
04-02-2008, 10:46 PM
Thing is, either way Novels isn't the right place for it.
I'm wondering whether to move it to Office Party or to Story research :)

johnnysannie
04-02-2008, 10:47 PM
In our family it was always "Shit fire and save matches"!:D

Other colorful gems I've heard over the years include:
"not worth shit or Shinola" Shinola being shoe polish
""Fuck you and the mule you rode in on"
"Jesus Christ on a crutch"
"Jesus, Mary, and her husband Joseph"
"nine fingered shite hawk" (Irish - English would be "shit hawk")
In the same vein as above "gobshite"
"Well, shit the bed!" (never heard this one till I moved to the Ozarks"
"Fuck me running"


There's some to play with; being of a profane nature, I could probably list many more:Ssh:

Cranky
04-02-2008, 10:48 PM
In our family it was always "Shit fire and save matches"!:D

Other colorful gems I've heard over the years include:
"not worth shit or Shinola" Shinola being shoe polish
""Fuck you and the mule you rode in on"
"Jesus Christ on a crutch"
"Jesus, Mary, and her husband Joseph"
"nine fingered shite hawk" (Irish - English would be "shit hawk")
In the same vein as above "gobshite"
"Well, shit the bed!" (never heard this one till I moved to the Ozarks"
"Fuck me running"


There's some to play with; being of a profane nature, I could probably list many more:Ssh:

*facepalm*

Yes, that's the correct way to say it! Obviously, this is not one I choose to employ myself.

DWSTXS
04-02-2008, 10:55 PM
Thing is, either way Novels isn't the right place for it.
I'm wondering whether to move it to Office Party or to Story research :)

IMO it's story research...or more accurately character research, but, you can decide where it belongs. I'll play along either way.

Shweta
04-02-2008, 10:55 PM
I'm voting Office Party, since you'll get more hits there. *poof*!

benbradley
04-02-2008, 11:14 PM
Frank Zappa was very creative with coming up with descriptions of a suggestive or flat-out "adult" nature without using hardly any of the usual "curse" words. Check out his lyrics online if you dare...

Jersey Chick
04-02-2008, 11:16 PM
Hmmm... some of mine are:

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick - I don't get it, but it works for me
Jesus, Mary, and Henry - who the eff is Henry? I don't even know where I heard it, but I tend to use it a bit.
crap-ass - this gets a lot of use - ex. "More rain?? I'm sick of this crap-ass weather."

I get real colorful when I'm angry - those just pop out and I can't recall them right now...

johnnysannie
04-02-2008, 11:20 PM
Told you I'd have more....the damn things are popping into my head now and it's all your fault for asking.....;)

Shit or get off the pot (make up your mind)
don't know their ass from a hole in the ground
Jesus Christ on a piece of toast
she's built like a brick shithouse (this is supposed to a compliment meaning a girl has a great figure!)

Cranky
04-02-2008, 11:22 PM
He think's he's King Shit of Turd Mountain (borrowed from Stephen King). Use that one a lot.

Also, shit on a shingle.

Fucktastic.

The list goes on.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 12:30 AM
in my 60's novel, I have characters saying:

absofuckinglutely

fan-fucking-tastic

I can also remember hearing 'booger-eating moron!'

dingleberry
ass-licker
turd-taster

also
c-rag
cunt-rag

Jersey Chick
04-03-2008, 12:32 AM
Ohhh! I forgot one of my favorite favorites!

Craptastic! - It's so bad it's good! :D

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 12:37 AM
You mean when we're writing or when we're driving?

When I'm driving I use a whole bunch of bad words I never use the rest of the time.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 12:39 AM
was that you yelling at me this morning in traffic? LOL that wasn't very nice, what you called me!


You mean when we're writing or when we're driving?

When I'm driving I use a whole bunch of bad words I never use the rest of the time.

Jersey Chick
04-03-2008, 12:40 AM
Road rage! I've said things that made my husband (a construction worker, BTW) look at me like he's never seen me before. Then he'll say, "I didn't know you could use those words together..."

Ahhh... a fine tapestry of obscenities - I am a master weaver ;)

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 12:42 AM
was that you yelling at me this morning in traffic? LOL that wasn't very nice, what you called me!

You mean when I called you a big fat c8ck-sucking, f*ckwad?

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 12:44 AM
Road rage! I've said things that made my husband (a construction worker, BTW) look at me like he's never seen me before. Then he'll say, "I didn't know you could use those words together..."

Ahhh... a fine tapestry of obscenities - I am a master weaver ;)


staying in the genre of this thread, shouldn't that be masterbater? LOL


of course, since you're a woman, we would just say that you were 'jilling off'

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 12:46 AM
You mean when I called you a big fat c8ck-sucking, f*ckwad?


so that was you!


did you hear me yell at you that you sucked ass, and that if we put your brain in a bird it would fly backwards? LOL

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 12:47 AM
My curses aren't very creative. They're just obscenities I don't use the rest of the time.

It's those stupid, moronic, rude, f*ckwads that get me hot under the collar.

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 12:49 AM
did you hear me yell at you that you sucked ass, and that if we put your brain in a bird it would fly backwards? LOL

Ha ha! I like that.

Jersey Chick
04-03-2008, 12:50 AM
staying in the genre of this thread, shouldn't that be masterbater? LOL


of course, since you're a woman, we would just say that you were 'jilling off'
:roll:

I'm keeping quiet here.... ;)

quickWit
04-03-2008, 01:04 AM
F*ckNuts is good. I use it all the time when addressing my colleagues. Really gets their attention. :)

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 01:11 AM
F*ckNuts is good. I use it all the time when addressing my colleagues. Really gets their attention. :)

Yeah, but F*ckwad is better. F*cknuts sounds like you're talking about squirrels or elephants.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 01:12 AM
I hope that no one thinks I'm seriously coming down on rhymegirl. in reality, I think she's great.

unlike the woman that REALLY DID cut me off in traffic this morning! (I called her a bitch and told my co-pilot that the dumbass woman had onion-crotch and breakfast boobs)

quickWit
04-03-2008, 01:12 AM
Yeah, but F*ckwad is better. F*cknuts sounds like you're talking about squirrels or elephants.

F*ckwad is sooooooooo '80s. F*cknuts is hip. It's what's happenin'.

F*cknut. :)

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 01:18 AM
I hope that no one thinks I'm seriously coming down on rhymegirl. in reality, I think she's great.
:Hug2:



unlike the woman that REALLY DID cut me off in traffic this morning! (I called her a bitch and told my co-pilot that the dumbass woman had onion-crotch and breakfast boobs)

And see, I don't cut people off in traffic. My only crime is that I actually obey the rules of the road. I almost got in an accident last week when some moron ran a yield sign; I clearly had the right of way. I had to use split-second timing to swerve out of the way so he wouldn't hit me. You can bet he got cursed with every single swear word there is.

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 01:22 AM
F*ckwad is sooooooooo '80s. F*cknuts is hip. It's what's happenin'.

F*cknut. :)

Oh yeah? Well you're just....so.... so...SQUICKY!

quickWit
04-03-2008, 01:23 AM
Oh yeah? Well you're just....so.... so...SQUICKY!

You. Take. That. Back.

nerds
04-03-2008, 01:23 AM
F*cknut.


F*ckin' A, man.

quickWit
04-03-2008, 01:24 AM
F*ckin' A, man.

Ya see? Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds knows how I roll, yo!

Shady Lane
04-03-2008, 01:29 AM
A friend of mine has started saying, "Fuck me sideways," which I totally love.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 01:30 AM
A friend of mine has started saying, "Fuck me sideways," which I totally love.


You might want to re-state that sentence in a more precise fashion.

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 01:31 AM
Just wait til Silver King sees this thread. He thinks I'm an angel. He'll be shocked.

Shady Lane
04-03-2008, 01:32 AM
aw, fuck me sideways.



I totally love the PHRASE "fuck me sideways."

good?

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 01:33 AM
Just wait til Silver King sees this thread. He thinks I'm an angel. He'll be shocked.


whereas, we KNOW that you're chock full of deviltry.

Sassee
04-03-2008, 01:58 AM
One of my favorites is calling someone a "fucktard" or saying something is "fucktarded."

Instead of "for Pete's sake" or "for God's sake" I say "for shit's sake" or "for fuck's sake."

You know, actually, you could insert "fuck" in just about any form to replace just about anything. I so love that word.

The "Team America" movie had some pretty creative cussing... I remember a line in there that had something to do with Jesus titty-fucking... hmm. Gonna have to look that one up now.

There are more, but I can't think of them right now. I'll have to consult my resident expert.

Hillary
04-03-2008, 02:08 AM
Question for those of you "censoring" your curses. Why? I seriously don't get it...

Also, I just call everyone chodes.

(Actually, I say much worse things, but I have a very wholesome image to uphold.)

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 02:15 AM
Question for those of you "censoring" your curses. Why? I seriously don't get it...

Well, I did it to show what a nice girl I am.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 02:20 AM
Question for those of you "censoring" your curses. Why? I seriously don't get it...

Also, I just call everyone chodes.

(Actually, I say much worse things, but I have a very wholesome image to uphold.)


some people 'self-censor' because there are those out there who have fragile sensibilities.

and others are hypocritical assholes.

nerds
04-03-2008, 02:25 AM
some people 'self-censor' because there are those out there who have fragile sensibilities.

and others are hypocritical assholes.


LOL. It's just ingrained automatic habit for me. I'm from a time when you did that sort of thing. (Actually I'm from a time when publicly typing it, censored or not, was unthinkable.) Nothing complex about it.

Wolvel
04-03-2008, 02:28 AM
Or as my Granny used to say, "Son of a biscuit eater"

Instaed of mf I use mudpuppy (don't ask why it just stuck)

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 02:29 AM
LOL. It's just ingrained automatic habit for me. I'm from a time when you did that sort of thing. (Actually I'm from a time when publicly typing it, censored or not, was unthinkable.) Nothing complex about it.


LOL. I didn't mean that anyone HERE was a hypocritical asshole. I was just saying, in general.

well, one person is, but I won't call them out. I'm sure that they know who they are, and have been called worse.

Jersey Chick
04-03-2008, 02:34 AM
The best thing about the word fuck is that it's all-in-one

adjective: Fuckin' cool
verb: go fuck yourself
noun: get away from me, fuckhead.

It's the all-purpose swear word

and i think that's the most times i've ever typed it in one place :D

althrasher
04-03-2008, 02:40 AM
Jersey, have you ever heard the soundbyte, "The Many Uses of Fuck?" Or something like that. Anyway, it's this whole lecture on how awesome the f-word is. "It can also be used as almost every word in a sentence: Fuck the fucking fuckers!"


My mom's a big fan of "Pecker-headed dog fuckers."

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 02:43 AM
"Son of a biscuit eater"
"Pecker-headed dog fuckers."

Those are great.

I also remember hearing 'peckerwood' and 'peckerhead' years ago.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 02:45 AM
Jersey, have you ever heard the soundbyte, "The Many Uses of Fuck?" Or something like that. Anyway, it's this whole lecture on how awesome the f-word is. "It can also be used as almost every word in a sentence: Fuck the fucking fuckers!"


My mom's a big fan of "Pecker-headed dog fuckers."


some of us baby-boomers may also remember George Carlin's - 7 words you can't say on TV

Little Red Barn
04-03-2008, 02:52 AM
This has to be my all time fav cursing here when Old Fashioned Girl said to someone, "You can just kiss my big red Kentucky fried chicken *ss." I fell out of the chair, chocking on my tears, it was soo there. ya know...

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 02:53 AM
This has to be my all time fav cursing here when Old Fashioned Girl said to someone, "You can just kiss my big red Kentucky fried chicken *ss." I fell out of the chair, chocking on my tears, it was soo there. ya know...

That was funny. I know, because I saw it. Her red ass. not the thread.

Matera the Mad
04-03-2008, 05:48 AM
I was a prissy dork when I was young. It took intensive study and practice to become foul-mouthed, but I succeeded hugely. I'm picking up a few new goodies here :D

A friend once told me that to cuss with class you have to use at least one color along with a couple of other basic ingredients--I believe that included race, but I don't want to fuck with that.

My Bowdlerized bitchings for public use:
Son of a batchfile!
Oh, SHEEP!
Sauna beach!
Sonova beech tree!

More to the point:
Jesus leaking chaos (I love this one, got it from a dream!)
Jesus fucking Christ in a tree!
Jesus H. C. Prange Christ!
What the godfucking hell is that?
Sumbidgin piece of shit
fuckhole

To a slow computer when no one is around:
Just gimme the godfuckingdamn menu, you sonofabitchin dick licking hunk of shit
(I get low on imagination and high on volume when frustrated)

My characters are very earthy types,. They are often satisfied with a simple "Shit!" when dung happens, but I have tried to cook up some creative cuss-phrases for them. The word "fuck" occurs once in the whole novel. Bastard, bitch, buttworm, asshole, and a few milder (to our ears) insults are used. Some characteristic exclamations:

Thunderfire!
Bloody thundering underworld
Thundering blue demons
Rhinos shag you

LaceWing
04-03-2008, 06:57 AM
Butt wipe.

Ain't that crude? Even better than shit head.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 07:10 AM
also...

ass-master!

shit a green brick!

Ol' Fashioned Girl
04-03-2008, 04:00 PM
she's built like a brick shithouse (this is supposed to a compliment meaning a girl has a great figure!)

Have y'all ever SEEN a 'brick shit house'? I dunno who came up with that meaning 'a girl with a great figure'. I mean, really. It's flat on four sides and smells like - well - a shit house! What's great about that?


Or as my Granny used to say, "Son of a biscuit eater"

My sister has a string of invective related to that: Son of a Siberian biscuit eatin' sorry sack o'shinola! (She could never tell me how to make a Siberian biscuit, though.)


That was funny. I know, because I saw it. Her red ass. not the thread.

You did not... I know, 'cause if you had, you'd be blind.

Sassee
04-03-2008, 05:28 PM
Remembered another one:

"Go blow it out yer ass."

nerds
04-03-2008, 05:28 PM
My mom's a big fan of "Pecker-headed dog fuckers."


ah, peckerhead! I miss that one. Very popular in 1970s high school.

peckerheadpeckerheadpeckerhead!

wow, I feel great now.

kct webber
04-03-2008, 05:54 PM
"Butt-munch" An oldy, but a goody.

"Ass face"

"You insignifi-cunt little fuck!"

"Rat-fuck bastard."

"Nasty-ass cock snorting fuckstick."

I heard a girl call another one a "bitch-face" one time.

Since I've lived in the South, I've heard some colorful shit.

"Useless as tits on a boarhog," is one.

"Well, shit the bed," which someone already mentioned, but I like it. You hear it a lot in TN.

There are so many more, but they're hard to recall when you're not pissed.

Silver King
04-03-2008, 07:07 PM
Just wait til Silver King sees this thread. He thinks I'm an angel. He'll be shocked.
Yes he is. And stunned beyond belief is more like it, as his world came crashing down around him in a snarled heap of broken impressions and lost hope. Things will never quite be the same again...

In keeping with creative cursing, my brother-in-law often says, "Your ass sucks canal water." I don't know what that means, but it evokes an unsettling image.

Another brother-in-law, who hardly ever swears, was relating a frightening experience when he said, "I was so freaking scared, I tensed up all over. It would've been impossible at that moment to shove a pin up my butt with a jackhammer."

Whether it's in novels or everyday usage, cursing can be an effective tool for communication when done in moderation. As I've mentioned here recently, if you swear too much, though, it takes the punch out of your message. I suppose "fuck" is referred to as an F-bomb for its weight and explosive connotations; but if it colors your writing or speech with too much frequency, the word loses its effectiveness and is reduced to an F-dud.

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 07:11 PM
Yes he is. And stunned beyond belief is more like it, as his world came crashing down around him in a snarled heap of broken impressions and lost hope. Things will never quite be the same again...

In keeping with creative cursing, my brother-in-law often says, "Your ass sucks canal water." I don't know what that means, but it evokes an unsettling image.

Another brother-in-law, who hardly ever swears, was relating a frightening experience when he said, "I was so freaking scared, I tensed up all over. It would've been impossible at that moment to shove a pin up my butt with a jackhammer."

Whether it's in novels or everyday usage, cursing can be an effective tool for communication when done in moderation. As I've mentioned here recently, if you swear too much, though, it takes the punch out of your message. I suppose "fuck" is referred to as an F-bomb for its weight and explosive connotations; but if it colors your writing or speech with too much frequency, the word loses its effectiveness and is reduced to an F-dud.

the fuck it does!

DWSTXS
04-03-2008, 07:25 PM
One of the BEST dialogue scenes EVER, on TV, was on

last year, on the HBO series, 'The Wire' there was a scene, in which 2 detectives go back to a crime scene, in the kitchen of an apt.

The scene is notable in that, the ONLY dialogue in the scene, which lasted several minutes, consisted of the word 'Fuck'

We see the detectives, each looking over a different area of the kitchen, one bends down, sees something, and mutters 'Fuck!'

the other detective, seeing something else they missed previously, lets out a startled 'Fuck me running...'

the other detective, finding another clue that was previously overlooked, mutters 'holy fuck!'

And on and on.

Most of the scene was knowing looks, and nods, from character to character, and each 'fuck' had a completely different tone, sense of urgency, or surprise, wonderment, etc etc.

There was a 3rd character in the scene, the apartment manager, who stood back and watched the 2 detectives, but this character said nothing.

The scene was brilliantly executed, and the dialogue, while sparse and only consisting of 'fuck' phrases, seemed much weightier than can be described, owing to the facial expressions of the actors and the many ways that the word 'fuck' was used.

It is a great example, for writers, to watch this scene, and just see how many different ways one word can be said, and also, as writers, see how facial expressions can be used to 'talk'.

I highly recommend it. search it out on YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbsnSVM1zM

or search YouTube for: The Wire - McNulty and Bunk, the famous crime scene

johnnysannie
04-03-2008, 07:59 PM
some of us baby-boomers may also remember George Carlin's - 7 words you can't say on TV

Yep. Carlin made it funny but the truth was that those really were the 7 dirty words you couldn't say on radio or television!

Velma deSelby Bowen
04-03-2008, 08:13 PM
My preferred profanity is "Sh*t, p*ss, and nuclear waste," though I've been known to use others.

rhymegirl
04-03-2008, 08:58 PM
whereas, we KNOW that you're chock full of deviltry.

:e2seesaw:


Yes he is. And stunned beyond belief is more like it, as his world came crashing down around him in a snarled heap of broken impressions and lost hope. Things will never quite be the same again...

:2angel: Just remember this image.

Jenan Mac
04-03-2008, 09:29 PM
Jesus, Mary, and Henry - who the eff is Henry? I don't even know where I heard it, but I tend to use it a bit.



Don't know, but it may explain the middle initial in "Jesus H. Christ!"

Jenan Mac
04-03-2008, 09:40 PM
My grandmother mostly used the usual curses. But her life's philosophy included some good ones:

"Want in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster."
"You know where to find sympathy-- in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis."

Grand ol' gal, Grandma.

dobiwon
04-03-2008, 09:44 PM
Two old saying that were popular in my family years ago (and I tend to keep the tradition going) for people that piss you off:

Stick your thumb up your ass and rotate on your elbow!

If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.

DWSTXS
04-04-2008, 07:03 AM
from the 60's and 70's

I can remember someone giving the finger and saying "Sit on it!"

or....shooting the finger and saying "Climb it Tarzan!"

DWSTXS
04-04-2008, 06:10 PM
also, does anyone remember hearing,

'Tough titty said the kitty!'

and the answer back was always

'...but the milk sure was good!'

Sassee
04-11-2008, 06:25 PM
Remembered a couple more:

"Jumpin Jesus on a pogo stick!"

"Get bent!"