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View Full Version : The Cranky's Sausage Smackdown/Harem Collection Thread



Cranky
04-01-2008, 09:47 PM
Come one. Come all.

So long as you admire my beautiful pectoral muscles.

There's plenty of sausage to go around, so let's be orderly here.

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 09:49 PM
Here's $1.00, but give me a thicker one.

sassandgroove
04-01-2008, 09:51 PM
mmmmmmmmmmm....................

Cranky
04-01-2008, 09:51 PM
Tell it to the MAGIC cornucopia.

Oh wait. You're the Queen.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/24204506_254cae9e67.jpg?v=0

It's patriotic sausage, to boot.

Mel
04-01-2008, 09:52 PM
Mmmmm. Had sausage for breakfast this morning.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 09:53 PM
Well, then you're already a member, my lovely Mel!

aliajohnson
04-01-2008, 09:54 PM
Here's $1.00, but give me a thicker one.

:ROFL:

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 09:55 PM
**pokes head in**

yep - I'm in the right place!

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 09:55 PM
Tell it to the MAGIC cornucopia.

Oh wait. You're the Queen.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/24204506_254cae9e67.jpg?v=0

It's patriotic sausage, to boot.I am the Queen, so don't even try to get chintzy on me.

This one will do.

http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/SBY/SBY034/57451670.jpg

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 09:55 PM
Blood sausage delivery for Voyager.

http://john.pettigrew.org.uk/blog/images/black_pudding.jpg

Cranky
04-01-2008, 09:56 PM
**pokes head in**

yep - I'm in the right place!

Welcome, sugarbritches!

Cranky
04-01-2008, 09:57 PM
I am the Queen, so don't even try to get chintzy on me.

This one will do.

http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/SBY/SBY034/57451670.jpg

The MAGIC of the cornucopia is beautiful indeed.

Though not as beautiful as you, My Queen.

*bows*

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:00 PM
The MAGIC of the cornucopia is beautiful indeed.

Though not as beautiful as you, My Queen.

*bows**fans face*

You will be rewarded, my dear. Now grill it until it's rubbery.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:00 PM
Howza about this

http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb134/JerseyChick71/life-sizesausage.jpg

Gravity
04-01-2008, 10:01 PM
Blood sausage delivery for Voyager.

http://john.pettigrew.org.uk/blog/images/black_pudding.jpg

Didn't I see this in Aliens?

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 10:01 PM
Sausage in the Hole delivery for Karal:

http://hoppsy.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/toad-in-the-hole.gif

sunna
04-01-2008, 10:05 PM
I have't eaten meat in 20 years, but I...I just...


Dammit, Cranky, give it to me!

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:06 PM
*fans face*

You will be rewarded, my dear. Now grill it until it's rubbery.

I am my own reward.

I'm very tasty.

Stew21
04-01-2008, 10:07 PM
Mac will be along shortly to lock this thread on the grounds that it is disgustingly unappetizing. Bannings to follow. Loosers.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:07 PM
I have't eaten meat in 20 years, but I...I just...


Dammit, Cranky, give it to me!

Gently, my dear. Plenty of sausage to go around. *wink*

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/115216989_9c25f48200.jpg?v=0

Rolling Thunder
04-01-2008, 10:07 PM
http://www.petco.com/Assets/product_images/3/3000003840B.jpg

maestrowork
04-01-2008, 10:07 PM
oh lord, please don't. i went to a baseball opening game yesterday and had two burgers, two brats, and a giant coke. i think i'm going to puke now.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:08 PM
Mac will be along shortly to lock this thread on the grounds that it is disgustingly unappetizing. Bannings to follow. Loosers.

So sorry. No more guys allowed.

Your jelusy is getting the best of you...

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:08 PM
Mac will be along shortly to lock this thread on the grounds that it is disgustingly unappetizing. Bannings to follow. Loosers.

I think somebody's hungry...

Is the sausage almost ready??

sassandgroove
04-01-2008, 10:08 PM
My humble offering.

http://www.3x6.net/vhoorl/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/cthulhu_sausage.jpg

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:09 PM
Mac will be along shortly to lock this thread on the grounds that it is disgustingly unappetizing. Bannings to follow. Loosers.:tongue And quit calling me loose.

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 10:09 PM
Y'all better stay away from my haggis. Or else!

http://www.freefoto.com/images/09/35/09_35_5---Haggis_web.jpg

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:09 PM
My humble offering.

http://www.3x6.net/vhoorl/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/cthulhu_sausage.jpg

Octopus sausages? Ewwww...

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:10 PM
Oh. My. God.

Stew21
04-01-2008, 10:10 PM
:tongue And quit calling me loose.
if the leather fits...

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:12 PM
Boy - one set of handcuffs and some leather, and you're marked as loose forever...

sassandgroove
04-01-2008, 10:12 PM
cthulu sausage is your new master

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:13 PM
cthulu sausage is your new master

Nope. I ate it.

The Game rules supreme.

sassandgroove
04-01-2008, 10:14 PM
Nope. I ate it.

The Game rules supreme.
How do you think it takes over. Duh.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:15 PM
How do you think it takes over. Duh.

Ooops.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:16 PM
If Cranky's going all Alien instead of Triple H, I'm gonna find a safe place to hide.

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:17 PM
if the leather fits...
When in disguise
Call on Colorado Guy.
A rampant poster
When playing a poser.
Peel off the glue
And there you’ll have Stew. :D

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:18 PM
If Cranky's going all Alien instead of Triple H, I'm gonna find a safe place to hide.

Don't worry. My muscles will suffocate it aborning.

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:18 PM
Boy - one set of handcuffs and some leather, and you're marked as loose forever...Tell me about it. It only happened this one time at band camp.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:18 PM
How cool will that be to watch!

Wait - we need more sausage!

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:22 PM
It would seem that I am now completely edible.

No need for a mullet anymore, I guess.

BenPanced
04-01-2008, 10:23 PM
Blood sausage delivery for Voyager.

http://john.pettigrew.org.uk/blog/images/black_pudding.jpg
I...I think I love you...

(Srsly. I lurves me some kishka.)

But wherzza pecs?!

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:24 PM
It would seem that I am now completely edible.

No need for a mullet anymore, I guess.

Oh no! Where's the delectable man-titty! :(

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:24 PM
It would seem that I am now completely edible.

No need for a mullet anymore, I guess.http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_9_8.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYJNUS)Mmm... you're good.

nerds
04-01-2008, 10:25 PM
Mac will be along shortly to lock this thread on the grounds that it is disgustingly unappetizing. Bannings to follow. Loosers.


all we are saying
is give grease a chance

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:26 PM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_9_8.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYJNUS)Mmm... you're good.

Told ya I was tasty.

I just miss my muscles.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:26 PM
Kinda hard to impress people as a weiner-dog.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:27 PM
Kinda hard to impress people as a weiner-dog.

I know.

This sucketh.

GIVE ME BACK MY MUSCLES!!!

maestrowork
04-01-2008, 10:29 PM
muscles are easy to get; brain, on the other hand.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 10:30 PM
I know.

This sucketh.

GIVE ME BACK MY MUSCLES!!!Would you settle for a trophy?

http://www.247weight.com/Amazon-Donna-blonde%20(2).jpg

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:30 PM
That's the scariest thing I've seen all day. :scared:

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:31 PM
I know.

This sucketh.

GIVE ME BACK MY MUSCLES!!!Is this better?

http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/0228.jpg

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:32 PM
muscles are easy to get; brain, on the other hand.

Yes, I know you think I'm stupid.

Gotcha.

Now, my avatar matches.

Are you happy now?????? *cries*

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:33 PM
Would you settle for a trophy?

http://www.247weight.com/Amazon-Donna-blonde%20(2).jpg

Holy crap. She wouldn't be part of my harem...she'd take it over.

And then all my lovelies would flee.

Can't have that. Sorry, Spook.

Trolling Plunder
04-01-2008, 10:33 PM
I thought this was a writing site, not a food site.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:34 PM
can't have one without the other

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:34 PM
I thought this was a writing site, not a food site.

Who says the two can't go together? Just use napkins.

We ain't barbarians, you know.

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 10:35 PM
I thought this was a writing site, not a food site.Stop thinking you troll. Have some PHENTERMINE, it will take the edge off.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:35 PM
Someone give Cranky his man-titty wrestler-dude back. I can't take him seriously as a weiner-dog. :D

maestrowork
04-01-2008, 10:37 PM
Would you settle for a trophy?

http://www.247weight.com/Amazon-Donna-blonde%20(2).jpg

when did fabio get breasts?

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 10:40 PM
Fabio has had breasts for a while. I present the evidence:

http://splinteredsunrise.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/20050413_fabio.jpg

Trolling Plunder
04-01-2008, 10:40 PM
you people are funny.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:41 PM
WHERE ARE MY MUSCLES??

And who the hell brought Fabio in here?

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:43 PM
If you ever get your muscles back, you can toss Fabio right outta here...

where's Cranky's muscles??? We need them ASAP! :D

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 10:43 PM
Sorry, Cranky. I can't belong to the harem of a weiner dog. I have SOME pride, y'know.

JoeEkaitis
04-01-2008, 10:44 PM
Can I have another Polska Kielbasa?

nerds
04-01-2008, 10:45 PM
WHERE ARE MY MUSSELS ??



found 'em

http://www-tc.pbs.org/wgbh/victorygarden/images/eat/recipes/mussels_lg.jpg?Log=0

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:47 PM
:roll:

So that's where they've been...

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 10:47 PM
I have SOME pride, y'know.That's not I herd. :D

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:47 PM
I'm back, babes!!

Oh yeah.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 10:49 PM
Woo hoo!

All hail the man-titty

and sausage! :D

quickWit
04-01-2008, 10:56 PM
Muscles, mullets and sausage. It's like a NASCAR event in here.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 10:58 PM
That why you showed up? :D

ChunkyC
04-01-2008, 11:02 PM
nothing to add to this thread, except...

:roll: :ROFL: :roll: :ROFL: :roll: :ROFL: :roll: :ROFL:

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:04 PM
That why you showed up? :DNah, it was for the smell of mods and sausage.

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:06 PM
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, smodsages.

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 11:09 PM
I'm back, babes!!

Oh yeah.


Thank the Goddess! I ain't no weiner's beyotch.
And don't let SquirtTwit tell you any different.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:10 PM
Thank the Goddess! I ain't no weiner's beyotch.
And don't let SquirtTwit tell you any different.

Ah, dolores, I missed you. Come to poppa.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:10 PM
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, smodsages.

You can be my eunuch, I guess.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:11 PM
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D scary but funny!

You're kinda pink, DL.

Did you bring Pepto for the inevitable sausage overdoses?

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 11:13 PM
You can be my eunuch, I guess.

I'd be happy to make him a eunuch, for ye. I have mad skills.

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:15 PM
Eunuch...is that like 'Assistant Sausage Manager' or 'Regional Assistant Harem Coordinator'?

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:15 PM
I'd be happy to make him a eunuch, for ye. I have mad skills.

Ah, you're a bloodthirsty wench, too!

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:15 PM
Eunuch...is that like 'Assistant Sausage Manager' or 'Regional Assistant Harem Coordinator'?

Regional Assistant Harem Coordinator.

You report to Gravity.

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 11:17 PM
Eunuch...is that like 'Assistant Sausage Manager' or 'Regional Assistant Harem Coordinator'?


Just step into my office, Quicky. You just have to...um...fill out some paper work.

*hides boxcutters behind back*

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:19 PM
Regional Assistant Harem Coordinator.

I won't let you down.

*Grabs bullhorn* Alright, you heard the man! Every non-sausage bearing person in here is to report to the Sausage Appreciation Pavillion for sensistivity training pronto! Move it or lose it!

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:19 PM
I won't let you down.

*Grabs bullhorn* Alright, you heard the man! Every non-sausage bearing person in here is to report to the Sausage Appreciation Pavillion for sensistivity training pronto! Move it or lose it!

Good man, quicky. Good man.

I may even grant you a sausage for your efforts.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:20 PM
Move it or lose it!Hey, that's what my ex-wife said on our honeymoon.

Jersey Chick
04-01-2008, 11:20 PM
Wow - the sausage department's really grown


**insert snicker here**

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:22 PM
The sausage love knows no limitations.

I am irresistable. (And spelling challenged, but that's what I've got quicky for, too, now)

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:23 PM
Good man, quicky. Good man.

I may even grant you a sausage for your efforts.

No problem. Don't make it too spicy. I have a spastic colon. :)

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:24 PM
Is there no limit to sausage jokes?

It would seem not...

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 11:24 PM
Good man, quicky. Good man.

I may even grant you a sausage for your efforts.


I'm not taking orders from THAT MAN.

I'm flouncing - and I'm taking my gilded titties with me.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:25 PM
I have a spastic colon. :)I had a spastic girlfriend once. Wanna compare pictures?

TrainofThought
04-01-2008, 11:25 PM
I won't let you down.

*Grabs bullhorn* Alright, you heard the man! Every non-sausage bearing person in here is to report to the Sausage Appreciation Pavillion for sensistivity training pronto! Move it or lose it!:roll: Will we be viewing pictures during the training?

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:26 PM
I'm not taking orders from THAT MAN.

I'm flouncing - and I'm taking my gilded titties with me.

Your indignation only hilights your true feelings for me. Now get your Brass Knockers over to Sausage Handling. You're already lagging way behind in that department.

Cranky
04-01-2008, 11:26 PM
I'm not taking orders from THAT MAN.

I'm flouncing - and I'm taking my gilded titties with me.

Fine. I guess I'll have to tear down that gilded pavillion I had built especially for you.

*yawns*

I am tired. Quicky, you must watch over the harem while I take a nap.

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:28 PM
:roll: Will we be viewing pictures during the training?

Visual aids will be provided and a hands-on practical exam will be given prior to refreshments being served.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:28 PM
Quicky, you must watch over the harem while I take a nap.I got just the couple for you.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2002/01/17/dpub_jason80s.jpg

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:29 PM
Fine. I guess I'll have to tear down that gilded pavillion I had built especially for you.

*yawns*

I am tired. Quicky, you must watch over the harem while I take a nap.

Sleep well and rest easy knowing that your sausage is in my capable hands. :)

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:32 PM
Sleep well and rest easy knowing that your sausage is in my capable hands. :)Put the knife down.

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:35 PM
I got just the couple for you.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2002/01/17/dpub_jason80s.jpg

Who are these two?

maestrowork
04-01-2008, 11:37 PM
marie osmond and clay aiken.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2008, 11:39 PM
Who are these two?You have to ask?


http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k272/SpookyWriter/FunnyBaby.gif

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:41 PM
You have to ask?


http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k272/SpookyWriter/FunnyBaby.gif

Am I flaunting my ignorance? My apologies. :)

dolores haze
04-01-2008, 11:41 PM
Your indignation only hilights your true feelings for me. Now get your Brass Knockers over to Sausage Handling. You're already lagging way behind in that department.


Consider your sausage handled. See ya!

http://www.greenoaks2001.org/hotdog_skewer.jpg

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:43 PM
Consider your sausage handled. See ya!

http://www.greenoaks2001.org/hotdog_skewer.jpg

Eww. Not quite what I had in mind, but I give you high marks for your skewering. Well done!

quickWit
04-01-2008, 11:46 PM
*Ahem*

A brief announcement people. Spooky has graciously volunteered to conduct a Sausage Packing demonstration in the Main Auditorium in 15 minutes. Please get there early as seating will be limited. Thank you.

Carry on. :)

czjaba
04-01-2008, 11:49 PM
I'm with Quicky on this one. I don't know who they are either.

sassandgroove
04-02-2008, 12:07 AM
Cranky darling, look! I changed my avatar in your honor. :D

BenPanced
04-02-2008, 12:07 AM
Who are these two?
It's Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan.

It's up to you to figure out who's who.

quickWit
04-02-2008, 12:19 AM
It's Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan.

It's up to you to figure out who's who.

I give up. :)

quickWit
04-02-2008, 12:37 AM
I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge today's sponsor...

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/D1191~Dick-s-Sausage-Posters.jpg

All of the Sausages utilized in today's demonstrations were Dick's. And remember...if it makes your tongue dance, it's probably a Dick. :)

Mr Flibble
04-02-2008, 12:50 AM
<----------

Big Dave he say fear my pecs shorty, and give me sausage!

Gravity
04-02-2008, 01:22 AM
Who are these two?


Umm, Gerry Anderson Supermarionation puppets...?

CatSlave
04-02-2008, 02:06 AM
*Ahem*

A brief announcement people. Spooky has graciously volunteered to conduct a Sausage Packing demonstration in the Main Auditorium in 15 minutes. Please get there early as seating will be limited. Thank you.

Carry on. :)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2244/1857883581_a3b1ad477c.jpg?v=1194221591

Hurry up!
You're missing the best part of the demonstration.

SpookyWriter
04-02-2008, 02:10 AM
That hurts?

Cranky
04-02-2008, 02:26 AM
Who is this that has invaded my harem?? Batista?

You shall die!

I'll suffocate you with my...something.

And then you'll die!

Mr Flibble
04-02-2008, 02:28 AM
ain't gonna happen shorty! I have bigger ..everything!

ps where's my sausage?

Cranky
04-02-2008, 02:30 AM
ain't gonna happen shorty! I have bigger ..everything!

ps where's my sausage?


Oh yeah? Well, I'm the Cerebral Assassin, and you're what...the Animal?

Pfft. No contest. I shall slay you and make sausage from your meaty corpse.

nerds
04-02-2008, 02:33 AM
I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge today's sponsor...

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/D1191~Dick-s-Sausage-Posters.jpg

All of the Sausages utilized in today's demonstrations were Dick's. And remember...if it makes your tongue dance, it's probably a Dick. :)



:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

CatSlave
04-02-2008, 02:34 AM
ain't gonna happen shorty! I have bigger ..everything!
Heed my words, Grasshopper:

It's not the size of the wand
That puts the rabbit in the hat,
But the magic of the performer.

Cranky
04-02-2008, 02:36 AM
Heed my words, Grasshopper:

It's not the size of the wand
That puts the rabbit in the hat,
But the magic of the performer.

And I have a MAGIC cornucopia.

That's as magical as it gets, bay-bee!

Anthony Matias
04-02-2008, 02:39 AM
What the hell kind of place is this? You're sick Cranky!

Cranky
04-02-2008, 02:46 AM
Well, DUH! I had a thread up and everything.

This is what happens when a cold virus runs smack into April Fool's Day.