View Full Version : [Agent] Atomic Hollywood (Ed Hansen)

12-05-2002, 01:52 AM
Has anyone had any dealing with this outfit? They claim to have sold over 40 scripts, but I can't find anything about them other than their own website.

They like one of my scripts but say that it needs a rewrite, and then they recommend a writer they use.

Who is getting used here?

Pure of Heart is confused.

12-05-2002, 04:23 PM
I just recieved the exact same letter from them.

I submitted a script to them about 2 weeks ago. They emailed me today saying it was a great idea, very marketable, blah blah blah.

BUT..they go on to name a bunch of generic problems and finish by saying if I hire a guy named Paul Lawrence to help me rewrite it, they would be interested in doing a deal. I've pasted the letter they sent me at the end of this email.

Anyhow, this Paul emailed me and blah blah blah..bottom line, he wants $2500 to "help" me rewrite the script.

I smell bullshit on this whole deal. I'm glad you posted because I might've actually emailed this clown back. Now I know to push delete and thank the good lord I have the thing registered with WGA and US Copyright.


Letter Excerpted

Thanks so much for letting us see your screenplay XXXX. It
was a pleasure to note you provided us with an entertaining and intelligent
concept. However, as presented to us, we found the script unacceptable for
professional presentation to our own investors and/or clients.

First of all, the improper format would prompt immediate rejection. If
corrected, the script would even be longer and it's already too long for
the genre.

Another thing that seems to be holding back the script's success is the
opening. While informative, the opening lacks focus and really needs a more
compelling, "personal" approach.

Continuity holes and lack of audience communication prevent "hooking" a
reader/viewer. A more creative and focused story structure within a proper
format would help interest and identification in the opening.

Several pieces of action are lumped into one narrative block instead of
breaking them out for ease of reading and "seeing" the film, as well as for
a production manager who, hopefully, will be asked to budget and schedule
the production. Again, if corrected, more pages would be added to the

Overall, the pacing is a bit too leisurely for this script. Solid
information, but it just seems to take too long to tell the reader/viewer
about it.

There is quite a bit of useless action and dialogue, much of which doesn't
forward the story.

Location and character introductions could stand improvement, as could
audience communication.

Missed opportunities for dramatic and memorable "moments".

Clever segues between scenes would really help story flow.

Spelling and grammar problems are also a distraction.

There's a number of other problems, but I think it sufficient to say,
there's no place we could go with this script as you presented it to us. In
short, your clever concept seems to suffer from being overwritten and under
developed. Yet we feel the concept has enormous potential to become a
viable and marketable script.

At this point, I suggest that you seek professional help to "rewrite" the
script, and bring it to its full potential. Because of our busy development
and production schedule (we usually produce one/two projects and
sell/option four to six scripts a year to producers who we've come to know
over the last 20 years), we no longer handle "rewrites" in-house, except
for producers or directors who have funding in place.

However, there are many professional "rewrite" services out there who have
proven credentials. We've had good luck with Paul Lawrence and I checked
with him and he said that he could find time to do a rewrite if Ed was
interested in marketing it. Given that, I've copied this to Paul and I can
assure you that, if you decide to go with Paul, Ed would share our thoughts
for a rewrite with him and look very favorably at marketing the script once
it's rewritten. Last year, Ed sold one of Paul's scripts, DO OVER, to a NYC
production company, is currently negotiating development deals for two of
Paul's scripts, JUMBO and FRISCO NIGHTS, and is presently marketing another
called TWO TO TANGO.

I'll suggest that Paul contact you and, if he sounds of interest as regards
the rewriting of XXXX, you two work out your deal and let us
know. I'll keep your script until 12/15 unless I hear from you or Paul
before that time.

Sincerely, Buck F.

12-05-2002, 09:25 PM
Sounds like a nice way for them to make a few bucks off of unsuspecting submissions. Its pretty dispicable: welcome to Hollywood.

Good luck both,


12-06-2002, 12:31 AM
...did you read my rundown on this scam artist in reply to another post you put up somewhere else?... i just checked out the site yesterday and posted you a reply that mentioned the interesting fact that the only stuff this yo-ho wrote or directed or produced was porn flicks!... and his other supposed work on all those biggie movies he displays so prominently on his site, was 'video editing'... you just gotta read the fine print and watch your backs, kids!... and fronts and sides and tops and bottoms....
hugs, maia

12-06-2002, 01:22 AM
....and your fingers and toes as well!

Good luck,


12-07-2002, 12:28 AM
Yes, thanks to all, and my writer's group, who all said to Run away, and fast.

Was also referred to Paul Lawerence for a rewrite !

What jerks these people are.

Pure Heart

12-07-2002, 12:31 AM
Yes, CMAN We got the EXACT same letter.....

And I DO NOT have spelling errors, thank you very much!!

Make that double and triple Jerks.

Pure of Heart

12-08-2002, 09:09 AM
Same thing happend to ME!

12-22-2002, 12:27 AM
nearly the same letter for me as well. at least they changed it up a wee bit, or maybe just maybe they will make all our movies!! haha

Tired of rejection
02-18-2003, 03:37 AM
Is there a difference between these guys and Vampires? I think not. I wish we could contact every writer and put these bastards out of business. You guessed it...they sent me the exact same letter. Almost had me too. Take it easy people and don't give up!

04-01-2003, 04:17 AM
I posted a message on another board regarding this scam artist, but after reading this I had to submit another post. I received an email from them the other day that reads almost verbatim to the letter that Cman249 received on 12/5/02 and YES they referred me to P. Lawrence as well.

All I can say Cman249 is totally ignore them. It appears they send this exact same letter out to everyone. My script has even been proofed by a professional editor and the emai I received also indicated spelling errors. There are absolutely NONE.

Thank goodness for the Internet where writers can keep in touch about these sort of things.

04-06-2003, 09:48 PM
>: I just sent a treatment , that he requested. Did not realize , until I read the stories here. If he is perpetrating this bull and ripping people off,we should have this disease removed from the business ,totally Black Ball him, around the world Industry report him to a major news agency like E-entertainment, or ABC etc. Scumbags hate that, despise cameras in there Face. or free PR , as crooks.

Quiet Assassin
07-01-2003, 10:08 AM
This Ed guy might end up dead if he doesn't straighten up
he sent me the same bullshit ass thing>:

07-06-2003, 03:19 AM
An Open Message From Paul Lawrence:

I have become aware that there is apparently postings of a negative nature about me and I just wanted to present my side of the story. I invite any person that Iíve actually done business with and feels unhappy or anyone that would just like to discuss this issue further to contact me at my e-mail: paullawrencewrit@usa.net so I can speak with them in a direct manner rather than as postings.

I am very disturbed that anyone would think that I have in some way wronged them or didnít deliver exactly what I promised and I hope that people will give my point of view fair consideration.

First, let me present the history as to my dealings with Ed Hansen.

I met Ed Hansen in a similar was as many other writers have. I did a blind query and he indicated he liked my script. In fact, he wanted to produce it, but when he couldn't get the funding he asked me if I'd let him represent it. Even though I had an agent I agreed. I was not asked for any money for a rewrite as it was a strong script. About ten months later he sold it for what was for me a nice piece of change and a chance at a back end. I still keep a photocopy of this check on a wall in my bedroom.

Ed later asked me if I wanted to co-write a script that he had a development deal with and that resulted in an offer for a domestic theatrical distribution deal.

Next, Ed let me know that he frequently received scripts that had good concepts and could be sellable if they were greatly improved. Since I had some other credentials from a couple of other options outside of deals with Ed, I was represented by a known LA agent and I'd like to think my quality writing skills, he asked me if I'd be interested in doing rewrites if they were referred to me which he would then represent and try to sell.

Based on my successful experience with him selling my script this sounded like a win-win situation for everyone involved and I agreed.

I've worked extremely hard on every rewrite I've done and I think I've done a good job. I have relationships with quite a few other producers who really like my writing so I know I'm not alone in the belief that I do a quality professional writing job. In fact at the moment of this writing I have several producers or directors that have already read my work and are at a close stage of maybe making an offer on several different scripts. In fact, one script actually has a producer who not only wants to produce but cast it as heís a well known casting director to boot and has access to a lot of stars.

As for the representation Ed does, it seems to me that he does a terrific job of representing the scripts very aggressively. He provides regular feedback to the writers as to who's he's been presenting them to and he can prove his claims of who he's been contacting because while not all, but many send him back letters or e-mails with script requests or passes, etc. Naturally, he also has records of the many script submissions heís done of scripts Iíve rewritten. I'm also really excited that this last week a rewrite I did and Ed has been representing has an offer on the table and I hope that a deal can be forthcoming. It is my understanding that Ed Hansen has averaged optioning or selling 4-6 scripts annually that he represents for a number of years. So far, this year he has optioned 2 and now it looks like he might have a third deal. I know he can prove this.

I really am mystified as to why anyone would be so upset. I certainly hope every writer I worked with thinks I did a great job. Certainly, a large number have sent me e-mails indicating so and now their scripts are being professionally represented by an LA based entity that regularly obtains deals and has a great deal of contacts and credits in the film business.

I know that not everyone can afford a rewrite and therefore I have also created a free newsletter group that offers screenwriting tips. Iíve had a lot of writers contact me from that and indicate that they were very happy about the information they received from me at no charge. I invite anyone that would like to check out the site to please do. Itís at: groups.yahoo.com/group/Sc...rsFreeTips (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ScreenwritersFreeTips)

I would appreciate if anyone who I've done business with and doesn't think I've done a good job and have delivered everything I promised in my agreement with them would contact me to discuss it. In fact, I would be glad to answer any individual that would contact me directly about any of this even if I haven't done business with them.

The bottom line is that I absolutely stand by that I've delivered everything I promised to anyone Iíve done business with. And I never made any promises that I could guarantee a sale, but that I could guarantee them that theyíd get their script represented by an entity based in LA that can and does sell scripts.

Iím not an entity like Story Bay that aggressively calls people on the phone trying to sell the anything. At most, Iíve sent someone a promotional e-mail. Iíve never claimed to be some powerhouse writer thatís had big blockbusters produced. I have claimed and can prove that Iím represented by a known LA based agent that actually cuts quite a few deals a year, that Iíve had two scripts optioned, one sold, and one offer for a domestic theatrical distribution. Iíve had a few other informal things, but those are the ones I have contracts for. I do have relationships with at least a dozen or more producers that like my writing, know me by name and are always happy to hear about any new projects I have.

I worked hard for that. I wrote like 10 scripts for 7 years before I got my first agent. And believe me Iíve invested plenty of my own money in my screenwriting career. I spent $1000 twice on "Selling To Hollywood" plus my air fare and hotel which made each time a $2000 investment. I did learn some good things I didnít know about the business end of screenwriting, and if youíre new to screenwriting and can afford it itís not a bad thing to do. My first time I went I sold a baseball autograph collection my dad had left me to pay for it. But, at the end of the day, I really didnít have too much to show for the money spent. The first year I met one agent who let me submit a script and he passed. The second year I met a lady who told me that if I gave her a couple of hundred bucks sheís put my script logline and synopsis in an expensive book she would distribute to all of her contacts. The book never came out and her phone became disconnected. I had a course that went for $1000 with a script doctor I met there who definitely made some good points about the script I had given her. Still, that really didnít get me very far. I met another guy who claimed to have written like 20 big movies and maybe 15 television shows who I had another $1000 deal with. I had paid him most of the money and was pretty happy with his services when for some stupid reason I decided to check out some of his claims and couldnít get any verification on them. I was actually still happy and had a check in my pocket to pay the final payment when I met with him. I just asked him about it and he flipped out and left. I was thinking about suing him, but then the script he was helping me with got an option, so I just dropped it. Anyway, Iíve paid a lot money to get help and I never found any opportunity where I could get my script professionally rewritten and then really represented. Whenever anyone tells me theyíre thinking of spending their last buck on this, I pretty much tell them that itís not a sure thing at all and to quote me, "I wouldnít spend the rent money on this." Still, for someone that can afford it I think itís a great way to shoot your writing career forward by hopefully learning a lot and getting someone who knows how to sell scripts to try and sell it. There are many people who pay for services to help their screenwriting careers. I donít see why this has got so many people so upset. Anyone I have done business with has had the chance to carefully review and consider a contract which specifies exactly what the cost is and what services they will get. I have totally honored every one of those agreements.

The services I offer may not be for everyone, but for a lot of people I think it works pretty good. I know how frustrating it is to get representation. The truth is in my first years I was submitting scripts, they just werenít good enough to get noticed, but I didnít know it. I just didnít have enough knowledge or craftsmanship yet. I think there are many people out there like that and if they can afford to pay to advance their career I donít see whatís so wrong with it.

Thank you considering my point of view and again I welcome any clients of mine or anyone else who wants to discuss this matter to contact me at my e-mail I mentioned above.


Paul Lawrence

Bill Moor
07-06-2003, 08:27 PM
I have worked with Paul Lawrence or, better said, he with me, revising a novel into a script and a scri[pt into a much tighter and developed vehicle. I was thoroughly pleased with both. I have never written or called that I haven't received an immediate full and well-reasoned reply. I knew what the cost was up front. I paid half, saw what Paul did, and had the option to pay or not (obviously not receiving the rewrite if I did not). Ed Hansen--well maybe there is that sense of come on, but, unlike so many of you who did not think his "generic" criticisms applied to them, I found what he (actually, Buck Flowers) observed was fairly accurate. Come on, most people with pancreatic cancer have the same symptoms, so--really--does the work of fledgling sreenwriters ! What really remains the issue (for me) is not Paul Lawrence (or Ed in terms of his help in rewriting). He (they) have satisfied me with the results. Obviously, will Ed deliver is the issue. But if he doesn't (for me and immediately), will that mean he hasn't tried? What Paul said is very true. How much money have I (we) spent on books, tapes, courses, meet-the-producers conferences, contests, software, etc., and to what end? Paul makes money helping me (and to results I like). Ed makes money if he options or sells my stuff (and so would Paul make a small percent as my coauthor). The idea that their business is splitting the amount Paul charges (for a hell of a lot of work) rather than trying to put out something that makes money from optioning and sales is counter-intuitive from both a totally mercenary perspective or after having dealt with Paul (and indeed Ed). Like Paul writes (and explained in length to me), hiring a consultant is not for eveyone (in terms of ego and wallet). The best I can do is suggest that you contact Paul.

07-07-2003, 12:50 AM
Well I haven't made any comments on this thread yet, but now that Paul has made a post maybe things will be cleared up. In any case, all I need to do to clear things up is simple. Could I get the name of Paul's agent and/or agency, any projects you may have written of course would help but agent would suffice to clear all this matter up.

07-07-2003, 05:03 AM
Paul, I do not doubt your sincerity, but it is unethical for a producer/agent to refer people to a specific screenwriting consultant/rewriter and expect them to pay for it... especially when he's sending out the same form letter to everyone. There have been major lawsuits for this type of business practice before-- check out the Edit Ink scandals. It's a misleading way to separate writers from their money. You may be a terrific consultant, but this practice is just dead wrong on so many levels. And tell me, does Ed/Buck get a kickback on all the clients he refers your way?

Bill Moor
07-07-2003, 08:46 AM
Get your facts straight , Paul not refer anyone to anyone. He is not referring anyone. Buck Flowers makes the suggestion and leaves it to you. It is not--usually--Ed Hansen whom reads the script initiaslly. Since I received at least two replies to my inquieries, no form letter was involved. When Paul was mentioned and I chose to write him, he was ver very explicit on the cost and the process. If anything, his reply was meant to dissaude hopeful writers from pursuing an unlikely "dream." I have been very very diret and forceful with Paula about his and Ed's possible duplicitious roles. I have been more than satuasfied with his answer (in light oif my experience). I have an MA in Dramatic Literature, a PHD in Logic, and a Clinical Psychology PHD. I don't get bs'd (easily). Making accussations to Pasul (and to ot about ED) without more than hearsay, abstract or minimal info is typical of the pooheadedness oof the 60's. Is there anyone who can say or show that they were boomdoozled (beyond not likeing the initial reply which described their screenplay as needing extensive work)? My ywo works needed and receiv3ed extensdive rewrites (and I paid very rreasonably for it). am getting representationtation (and proof of it). So, if you don't want an expert (my vocabuklaryu) to help you, then--as we say in Chicago--kvetch and maintain the ficvtion thast you have sonme gem that is being withheld from producers, or, like me and scores of others, gwet proferssional help, pay for it, and benefit. Really, come on, Children of the 60's, wqriting is not wqriting well--and noone is twisting your arm. I(f you think Paul and Ed are Charlatans, stay clerar of them, but, please, don't flap your yaps as if yopu've been gfypped or scandalized by them when you haven't. BHut don't criticize them for your unfouded supposals. I've been throught he process with them and it ain';t like you describe or predict.

07-07-2003, 08:57 AM
lol... and lol...
I won't bother getting into the education factor and spelling/grammer (since it could be just frustration and laziness) but that was just disgusting.

Anyways, the problem initially was that the two got the exact same message from Ed the issue wasn't necessarily with Paul. Whew At least I spelled Paul correctly :p Also I simply asked for an agent contact because I can not find Paul Lawrence on the Hollywood directories with or without any credit, he stated he has an agent so I figured he would at least be listed. Now people getting the same message from Ed stating one's script needs fixing, with same explanations to it's problems means it's just a templated email message which normally wouldn't be too much of a problem but to suggest it and then refer people to pay someone is just too ridiculous since I suspect he didn't even read it.

Like I said we can settle everything before getting into some heated debate over any moral issues, by getting the references checked and not only exonerate Paul's name but maybe even help get him some business. All I need is the agency or agent's name and I'll look him up in the directory and give a ring.

07-07-2003, 10:38 PM
I hope people who were on this site yesterday are looking today. I, too, have received the same deal with Ed Hansen and Paull Lawrence. Paul Lawrence's agent is Lloyd Robinson of Suite A Talent in Los Angeles. I have been wondering if these guys are scam artists. I have an e-mail from Paul Lawrence that says he has seen lots of bad reports of him on the Internet, but I haven't bee able to find any, except these messages posted on Sunday. Hope to hear more about this. If anybody knows of where the bad reviews or reports about Paul Lawrence are posted, I'd like to know where.

07-07-2003, 10:46 PM
Oops. I thought all the messages I read about Ed Hansen/Paul Lawrence were posted yesterday, Sunday, July 6. Only after I posted my reply today did I go back and see the dates that other complaints were posted. Those must be the ones Paul Lawrence referred to in his e-mail to me a few days ago telling me how good he is and not to pay any attention to his detractors. I want to thank those who posted their complaints. This kind of operation should be stopped.

07-07-2003, 11:21 PM
Hmmm... well this is no help, found Lloyd Robinson at Suite A Management, listed as an agent/manager only employee of the company with only listed client as Jeff Rector who is an actor not a writer, but THERE'S NO CONTACT NUMBER :( so much for that idea.

07-07-2003, 11:23 PM
if the name 'suite a management' [not 'talent'] doesn't tellya this is a 'operating out of a mail drop' operation, just check out the website!!!...

all you'll see is a 'synopsis' for a grade z script... ONE script... and it's one of the cheapest do-it-yourself site designs i've seen since i belatedly went online several years back...

this is a schlock outfit poster child, kids!... get out those ten-foot poles and keep 'em handy...

love and hugs, maia

07-08-2003, 12:23 AM
I was one of the initial people who indicated I received a 'form' letter from Ed Hansen soliciting Paul's rewrite. I agree that similar problems tend to crop up in screenplays, but the letter posted on this website was VERBATIM to the letter I received - every paragraph was identical and IN THE SAME ORDER. This is illogical if the script was given a 'personal' review. Furthermore, the script I submitted was developed along with a UCLA Screenwriting Group, went through various readers, underwent 2 full drafts and was finally (after approved by my UCLA Screenwriting Professor) sent to a friend who's a professional and well respected Hollywood reader who looked at it for no charge and has subsequently referred it to a producer where it is at this very moment.

I don't know what more I could have possibly done to have made it market ready, yet Ed's evaluation (if he even read it) indicated it needed a MAJOR rewrite which Paul would do for 50% SCREENPLAY CREDIT and a couple grand - I rejected the idea flat out. By the way, Ed indicated Paul 'specialized' in my type of screenplay?? An odd comment considering how many different screenplays have apparently been referred to Paul. I have no personal beefs with Paul. After all, plenty of screenwriters make a living rewriting others stuff. My only problem was with the FORM letter and how it appeared like nothing more than a slap-in-the-face solicitation to make money.

By the way, my UCLA Professor said they're full of crap and indicated my screenplay is ready for market. Between Ed and UCLA, I think I'll stick with UCLA's opinion of my material.

07-08-2003, 12:39 AM
If you want more info you can message me about your script, genre, logline and short synopsis if it's of interest I'll read it for you.

07-08-2003, 01:08 AM
I'm not sure what you're offering "If you want more info?" I'm past the review stage and I'm now marketing the screenplay. So, you're welcome to read it if you like, but I'm not really looking for a review.

dun good
07-08-2003, 03:03 AM
i dun guud with my screen ply. Pall red it for me and fixd all the grammer errars. I ain't knonw wat id doo if it wasn't fur Pal reeding my scrip. Am write abut that. I think tat my mony well speent. Not to menton sharin the scrpt with him. Wat a greet righter Pall be. Like i sed. Pall maad my scrip guod. i hoop Ed can cell it to a big Holliwood compiny. its a blockbuser. i can c it know, big lites, big sity, lots and lots of mony and girls. theyll take me to the premer in a limo. so you peple dont now wat youre talkin abuot.

07-08-2003, 03:15 AM
lol... fun read but let's get back on subject :)

07-08-2003, 03:23 AM
Are you for real? No pun intended, but I'm cracking up over here. You mean to tell me you spent thousands of dollars for Paul to fix your grammar and spelling errors when you could have paid a professional editor a couple hundred bucks for the same service, and now Paul owns 50% of the credit for your screenplay?

Maybe you should change your name to dumb good. I don't mean that in a mean way - just don't be so dumb next time. Even I feel stupid for having sent them my stuff initially and I work in Hollywood professionally, but I've always believed you let anyone read your stuff who wants to 'cause you never know who they might know.

However, I've been a tad more discreet as of late and have started to do more research on those who are interested in my stuff. I've subsequently passed on sending material to one so-called producer, but welcomed another with a quality track record.

07-08-2003, 03:32 AM
You talking about me? :( waaaaa

I sent you a private message bscript.

07-08-2003, 03:41 AM
Found it! It's Monday what can I say.. brain dead. Sent you a reply.

07-10-2003, 10:26 AM

I replied that I was sorry to hear that this was not a viable option and would have to decline Paul's assistance and do the re-write myself and resubmit the script, which they had the right to decline if it still did not meet their marketing needs. (I am after all a writer, and part of being a writer is NOT hiring someone else to do the writing for me) Buck declined the idea and told me good luck else where.

I did the re-write anyways and queried it back to Buck, I was told they were no longer interested.

Now I say (with all insult intended) if Buck, Ed Hanson and even you Paul are not running a scam to line your pockets with some quick cash out of desperate writers (and I whole heartily admit that for about five minutes I pondered about how I could come up with 2500.00), then why would you turn a writer down for doing their own re-write or for using someone other than Paul. You see if you (the writer) don't pay them (Ed and Buck) through Paul, then they really aren't interested in your script.

rule number 1) never pay someone out of your own pocket to do your writing, especially if you don't have a contract up front.

warning number 1) once someone else does your re-write, you're no longer the writer and have been handed your hat. your credit will look like:
SCREENPLAY BY: so and so

Buck Flowers by the way has played small rolls in well over 100 films, always the old man or drunk hobo. he is on the inside and knows alot of people, but that doesn't mean he's a good agent, promotor or gives one damn about anybody but himself. His affiliation with Ed and his pornography doesn't make him a very good representative for you and your script either.


07-10-2003, 11:03 AM
Well... I thought I'd just list the credits I'm seeing.

Ed Hansen

Buck Flower

Paul Lawrence
Only listed Paul Lawrence has no writing credits and 1 Associate Producer credit, but not even sure if this is the right Paul Lawrence.

Well hope that helps, hmmm... I've actually seen some of these flicks :D

07-11-2003, 07:02 AM
Just wanted to add my two cents, I got the exact same form letter, almost to the word, as was posted on the previous page.

atomic pop
08-13-2003, 10:44 PM
I hated to see this discussion fall too far back.
I recently received a letter from Ed Hansen stating very much the same things others have listed. It was worded differently and made no reference to Paul Lawrence but only to an in-house writer. The response I received was an obvious "form letter" and the posting I've read here only confirms it.
I found the response originally to be very positive for my psyche and made a short attempt to rewrite my script for resubmission. But after going back and looking at the letter again in a clearer light I began to question it's validity.
I couldn't find any online records of his recent sales. Why would anyone with potentially hundreds of scripts to filter through concerns themselves with a script so heartedly that they were turning down regardless of "very much liking the concept".
Paul Lawrence's long winded defense does nothing but confirm his association with Ed Hansen. It means nothing to state the usefulness of his services when the wrongdoing is in the suggestion of the screenwriter seeking out said "services". Can Paul Lawrence truthfully state or provide substantiated proof that
100% of the "fee" goes to him? or that he does not pay Ed Hansen and Atomic Hollywood a flat rate for referrals?
I can only imagine what the response would have been had I sent in the resubmission. An altered form letter for resubmissions or a 'sorry we're not interested".

atomic pop

Civa DaNife
08-14-2003, 12:30 AM
The "Bikini Carwash Company" was truly one of the better films employing the themes of bikinis and carwashes.

08-14-2003, 09:45 AM
I found this thread interesting and hope that is has assisted a few writers to avoid this script scam. It is something I have encountered a lot during my career and I wanted to throw my two cents in.
Firstly: as previously stated by another contributor - never pay someone to re-write your work, unless it is your script editor. Let me put it this way, why would a script editor get paid and you, as the writer, not?
There are thousands of people out there who will represent your script - for nothing. So don't ever pay someone to. Yes sometimes scripts need re-work, but the fact is that this rework is always expected during the developement phase of putting any film project together. In other words, a Producer will recognise the potential of a script and will option it regardless of how much re-work it may or may not need.
The process is this: Script is shopped, Producer likes script, Producer options script (for $'s), Producer tries to get the project up, project gets up and money is paid for script (an option fee is usually 10% and the rest is payed once funding is in place). I've been on both sides of the fence and when i have my producer hat on I can teel you, there's no way I would 'recommend' someone go to my guy to get re-work done. The fact is you know that there are going to be re-writes in development and so as long as the concept is sound, the idea is original and unique and the voice of the script strong - you can maybe move it.

09-26-2003, 10:28 AM
I did a google search on Paullawrencewrit@usa.net and found:

Sunrise, FL 33351

*JAZZ, SWING & HIP HOP DANCERS NEEDED Deadline: Ongoing Female hip-hop, jazz and swing dancers needed to perform during comedian/rap artist stage show to be performed in nightclubs and comedy clubs in South Florida. Must be over 21 and have some dance experience. Some pay possible. Excellent possibility of performing on television. Contact: Paul Lawrence Productions (954) 805-5011 or paullawrencewrit@usa.net. Paul Lawrence Productions, Inc., 11017 W. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, FL 33351. Non-Union, Producer-Paul Lawrence, Director-Sergio Bezzario.

Paul Lawrence Productions
24052 Via Candela
Valencia, CA 91355-2824
Phone: 805-255-2552
Fax: 805-255-2565

... Florida United States voice: 407.351.4044 Send Email, lawrence, paul po box 451302
ft lauderdale, Florida 33345 United States voice: 954-805-5011 Send Email. ...
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Yahoo! Groups : sfafilm Messages : Message 332 of 618
... The admission is free but there is a 2 drink minimum.= =20 For more info: paullawrencewrit@u...
or 954-805-5011 or just show up at Uncle Funny's at 7:15 Monday ...
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and the mystery continues...

01-17-2004, 06:18 AM
Heres the canned reply I got for the scam artist:


As you probably assumed from our request for a submission of MISSFIRE, we were interested in the concept.

However our reader read MISSFIRE, then had me read some highlighted areas, and I was excited enough about the potential of the concept to discuss it with you. Overall we liked it - with the exception of several major flaws.

First of all, you have good characters, a unique premise, and some potentially good entertaining scenes. All of us were hoping the script would measure up to the conceptual promise. Unfortunately, in our opinion, it didn't!

If several of the many problem areas are corrected, I think you could have a piece that might attract one of my investors, or one of my producer, director and/or actor associates.

However, let me itemize several of the problems we believe must be addressed before I would be willing to represent this on a professional basis.

1. The script has some awkward phrasing: "Carla looks little overweight..." "...out of her frumpy clothes the is very pretty." A professional "edit and polish" seems in order especially since there is also some disturbing misspelling and grammar problems throughout.

2. Dialogue heavy from page 1 on which begins with, and almost suffocates, the opening. The first five pages of dialogue beween Carla and Bert at the start, while informative, must be sharpened considerable, especially when it's followed with more non-stop dialogue pages 6-11. There are many other examples throughout the script. These long pages of dialogue puts the script into the dangerous syndrome of "talking heads" which producers hate and usually prompts immediate rejection. While some of the dialogue is right on, there are other cases where the dialogue doesn't sound like real people talking. Each character's dialogue needs individual rhythm. Some improper sound designations.

3. Narrative should be more active. "Marty...is sitting there..." is shorter and better as "Marty...sits there..." You're burning up space and slowing down the read with ineffective words. OVERWRITING!!!

4. Audience communication problems exist. You give some interesting information within the narrative but then don't show how the viewer will ever receive this information.

5. Scenes/shots must be carefully broken out and not just lumped into a large narrative paragraph. That works in a book, but not a screenplay. A producer might miss "seeing" the movie you're trying to describe. Beyond suffocating potentially exciting scenes into one narrative block, no production manager could ever budget or schedule your script as written. Remember, in a screenplay you're suppose to be "showing" not "telling".

6. Writing sometimes seems to lack interest in the action which, unfortunately, is being passed on to the reader. Again, style might be better suited for a book or play - sometimes it doesn't read like a movie.

7. Each scene should be unique. Some of your scenes seem too familiar and in some cases lack heart.

8. Exciting opportunities are missed throughout.

9. Lacks in-depth characterization and individual character arcs. The story must create changes within all of your major characters. Many of your characters are not properly introduced.

10. You're starting way too early in a scene (in fact, some of your scenes are not even needed). Always start as late in a scene as possible, and end it as quickly as possible: EXCITEMENT!!!!

11. Clever segues between scenes would greatly improve story flow.

12. Lots of story structure, pacing and development problems.

However, let me add again that you have some nice turns, good characters with things to say, but now, in my opinion, they need to be put into a seamless, intriguing script which starts with a punch and ends in a flurry.

In summary, your clever concept now seems to suffer from being overwritten and under developed. Yet we feel the concept has enormous potential to become a viable and marketable script.

At this point, I would either suggest you try a rewrite yourself (you can resubmit it to us once more) or I can have you hire my reader and have him do a "detailed" evaluation laying out major problem areas or, because of the numerous problems, hire a professional (a fresh eye) to rewrite the script and bring it to its full potential. Because of our busy schedule of development, marketing (we usually sell/option four to six scripts a year to producers who we've come to know over the last 20 years), and production ( we usually produce one/two projects a year), we no longer handle "rewrites" in-house, except for producers or directors who have funding in place and just need to improve their product.

However, there are many professional "rewriters" out there who have proven credentials. If an "in-depth evaluation", "edit/polish" or a "rewrite" are areas you want to explore, contact me and I'll give you details on these services which could really help you turn MISSFIRE into a saleable screenplay.

Based on my initial interest, I would be happy to take another look at your rewrite of MISSFIRE if it's based on a professionally prepared evaluation, or get involved with a produced professional regarding the rewrite and, of course, this would be based on my guaranteeing to market the rewritten script.

I'll keep your script until 1/30 unless I hear from you earlier regarding your decision on the possible improvement of your script.

Please keep me posted and all the best,

Ed Hansen

01-24-2004, 06:12 AM
I got the same letter a year ago. A lot of production companies are going this way. They get in a query and refer you to a consultant, script fixer, etc, (all the same thing) saying that they'll take a serious look at your script if you get it fixed.

What they're doing is in a sense not illegal. You dont' have to go to this or that consulatn but if you don't don't plan on having your script taken seriously. Agents are also doing this practice. I was dealing with one, that asked if I would go get a script analysis. If I got a good rating, she would take a look and possibly take it on. Unfortunately the place she sent me I found out was not too legit. Now is that her fault...don't know will never know.

Also have to say, don't ever pay an agent to take you on. Even if it's minor. They get paid when they sell the script! That's how it works. That's how they earn their high percentage.

Hollywood's never happy unless they screw over at least one writer a day! Remember that and be safe out there!



Bill Heyer
01-27-2004, 03:33 AM
I've only been on the Internet for five days, so I was kind of
taken aback by all the negative (angry!!!) comments that I
read. I contracted with Ed Hansen five years ago, and
although my script didn't find a market, I hold no grudge
against him. He tried, and tried and tried. I received
updates every other month, and there were many, many,
many script requests. One thing Ed made very sure of
telling me - from the beginning - is that there was no
guarantees. I maintained a cordial relationship with Ed,
even to the point of exchanging Christmas cards. Oh yes, one
more thing, the decision to stop marketing the script was
MINE!!! Would I do business with Ed Hansen again? Well,
pardon my naivete, but YES I would! I'm sorry so many
people out there feel animosity towards Ed; next time try
the William Morris agency.

01-27-2004, 04:19 AM
welcome bill! glad you found us on the internet. feel free to spend some time exploring the boards. hopefully you find a home for your manuscript. best of luck!

02-20-2004, 06:24 PM
Hello fellow writers...My my...I too have received a "form letter" not unlike the rest of you. All the wasted time you have spent fuming over such a silly thing. HEAR ME OUT...for this is such a tangled web to unweave...

Certainly, Mr. Hansen's extensive involvement in the business as a slave to the higher-ups, never truly being able to express himself completely and having to ride on the coattails of others until his ship would come in to finally have his own vessel in which to captain...we all strive for greatness, do we not? We know that heartache of rejection, to never really fill that void due to having to answer to all those self-serving agents and producers and directors. It has indeed been a struggle for Ed Hansen, Bud/Buck Flower, and certainly, for Paul Lawrence. Go to the Library of Congress and see for yourself. Do a search in the database and you will find that even now, Ed Hansen and the other two metioned above are still today struggling...which, I am sure is the very reason why they charge for their services, we all have to make money somehow.
And everyone wants some shred of evidence that Paul Lawrence, who nobly defended Ed Hansen's honor, did everything that he claims. Well, friends, I have found that shred of truth. If you look on the Library of Congress, you will see that Paul Lawrence did INDEED register alongside Ed Hansen as co-claimant on a lady by the last name of Brody's work, though I could find nothing of Paul Lawrences' singular achievements...anyways,he and Ed rewrote for Brody, I am assuming for a fee, a 25-page pilot script for something called Juvie Hall, and registered it on July 29, 2002. Of course, it didn't do anything, but his claim that he performs work for Ed Hansen and gets paid for it must be true and accurate. Though, of all the databases I searched, and all the registry services for scripts, and all other literary works I looked on, the Library of Congress is the only one that has any listings whatsoever, and that is all that I could find on Paul Lawrence, 1963. I find it odd...for as much as Mr. Lawrence claims to have done, and according to the guidelines of proper collaborative etiquette, if anything Mr. Lawrence had been successful on had been sold, it would also appear in the world wide script sales database, of which I am a member, and I couldn't find anything with his name attached except for the pilot series. Perhaps Mr. Lawrence used another name. AS for Mr. Hansen, there is very little listed for him as well, in fact, nothing more recent than Mr. Lawrences, and going further back, perhaps 11 total items, all of which Mr. Hansen either wrote or co-wrote, dating from 2000 on back to the 1980's. Nothing else though of any other writer he has represented, since Ed's group buys rights to all that they represent. Perhaps what he saw in the writer's, Hollywood just didn't agree, and thus, no sales to his credit of recent times. You can look under Ed Hansen, Edward D. Hansen 1937, nothing under the Atomic heading at all, but certainly, over the past 20 years, 11 items is more than we all have in the same time span, right?

Though it does appear that Ed Hansen and his associates have failed to sell anything other than the rewrite that Paul Lawrence did for that pilot with Ed Hansen in 2002, who are we to cast stones? Perhaps, even with their own writing talents attached, the scripts just weren't what anyone was looking for. Perhaps Hollywood has turned it's back on Ed Hansen, holding him back from his true calling. Hollywood is famous for stabbing each other in the back every chance they get. And I am sure it is so hard to possess such talents as Mr. Lawrence professes to have and have only to settle with a mere 25 page failed pilot attempt a few years back. But, he tried.

In closing, the form letters, I am sure, were designed for their time restricted convenience and in no way, I am sure, was meant to be taken offensively. How many form letters do we all get anyways? Surely, it is not your first, and probably won't be your last. At least it has the flair of a personal touch, which is so unlike most form letters, we all have good characters, we all had several major flaws, all of them were hoping the script would measure up to the conceptual promise but unfortunately, in the opinion, it didn't. and we all nned to have our scripts put into a seamless, intriguing script which starts with a punch and ends in a flurry. In summary, our clever concept now seems to suffer from being overwritten, and under developed. Yet they feel that the concept has enormous potential to become a viable and marketable script. So on and so forth, you all have the letter, read along!
To a layman, who hasn't signed on the dotted line, NO HARM, NO FOUL. But heaven forbid that everyone should come together with their form letters bound together and sue for fraudulancy. You see, Managers, unlike agents, have a looser set of ethics and a whole lot more wiggle room. They don't have to be licensed or accredited, anyone can be a manager. To Mr. Hansen's discredit though, his form letter, so vague in it's mannerisms to continually applaud everyone for the same things and "add" in their individual faults, could actually be his undoing. And the fact that he hasn't sold anything for anyone in quite some time except for one of his own people, regardless of how many people have actually paid upfront for services rendered in lieu of the promissary guarantee to MARKET the rewritten script, but not guaranteeing the sale, you see, that also could be a point that could be argued against him considering he claims to "usually" sell/option 4-6 scripts a year to producers they've known for 20 years, and "usually" produce 1-2 projects a year, well, are you all so willing to hold those FALSE claims against him? After all, he did say USUALLY. I am sure it was JUST AN OVERSIGHT ON HIS PART THAT HE CLAIMS TO SELL BUT HASN'T FOR ANYONE ELSE BUT ONE OUTSIDER IN THE PAST 20 YEARS.
It is my sincerest hope that perhaps I have shed a little light in your lives and have perhaps "enlightened" you as to the true people Ed Hansen and his associates really are...<img border=0 src="http://www.ezboard.com/image/posticons/pi_tongue.gif" />

02-20-2004, 11:14 PM
The people who become scam artists in film and in publishing are those who did not make it. Some people, when they go broke, try all kinds of scams to keep their production company alive.

Studios and studio backed production companies do not screw writers. It is prodcos that are on the fringe, with little or nor ability to makes sales, that do so.

Just think, would real Hollywood people have the time to do all these rewrites on a project that they haven't purchased? I think not!

02-24-2004, 02:55 PM
Exactly right JustinoIV. But I would be sorely remiss if I don't add abit to my original schpeel. Folks, I called Ed Hansen's bluff after I blew up at what I thought to be a scam. I'm not saying it isn't a scam, but I did get a "glimpse" into Mr. Hansen's world.

After all the research and the careful planning gone awry, I found him to be quite, well, HUMAN. I gave him an opportunity to clarify a few things.

First, the reason for the oh-so generic email response, when most people say no to initial queries, he says yes. It means more reading on their part, but they believe more on our level that there are talented people out there who may NEVER get the chance to express their talents because Hollywood is too busy kissing up to each other, they don't need nobody's like us who don't have someone "IN THE KNOW" to recommend us.

Secondly, we have all snubbed the fact that his biggest claim to fame is Bikini Car Wash, as far as writing goes. Okay, it isn't MY personal cup of tea, but there are alot of people that DO like to watch that kind of stuff, thus, market appeal. It amazes me, we hold porn in lower regard than needless blood and gore films. To each his own.

And finally, he had very few references or credits to provide me, but when I stepped back to reflect...how many that have slammed him, me included, can say they have done as much to date, good...bad...or indifferent...?

Ed Hanson is not the only script broker that charges for services. But that aren't alot of them out there. I believe somewhat moreso now that he does see some promise in some of us, considering the boatload of submissions he gets verses the actual number of IF YOU FIX IT emails he sends out. His "truth in advertising" is lacking in true accuracy, his "form" letter seems somewhat impersonal, but then again, he DOES tell us some of our problem areas. How many people have you contacted have done that? For that matter, how many even bother to respond at all? LOL In the wise words of Denny Martin Flinn, "I came to understand that while good screenplays are unique, all bad screenplays are the same." At least someone gave us the opportunity to "get read.," rather than branding us as a bad screenplay from the logline. Building false hopes? No...we did that to ourselves. One of my good friends is sitting at the PINNACLE, his script is in the hands of it's final destination, and I am seemingly more excited about it than he is. He's not in denial, he is keeping a level head.

The rest of us built ourselves up because someone finally said SEND ME A COPY and when it didn't play out as we had hoped, we crucified the messenger. I, for one, feel lower than low now. I judged like the rest of Hollywood judges, I didn't get what I wanted and accepted brushed the blame off my shoulders onto the one person I wanted to be THE ONE.

The reason they charge for rewrite assistance, they gotta make money...and they have to take time out to do an In-Depth read, time out from reading other people's scripts. $2,500 to pay someone who you have never met, that doesn't know you, that you have never heard of? Nope. For $2,500, not only will you fix my script, you will clean my house for a week and wait on me hand and foot! It's a rip off, but if you don't know anyone, if you had it burning a hole in your pocket, or if you just didnt' have the time...some people would pay it.

For what it is worth, Ed Hansen, the man, is a pretty decent human being. Ed Hansen the script broker? Well, it was a learning experience. It was not my place to go all HOLIER THAN THOU and I apologize if I have offended anyone.

02-25-2004, 01:06 AM
As for Ed, being human, well, even Adolf Hitler was human. Every person ahs a story!

Yes, I've gotten a couple of tips from two con artists that were ultimately useful. I told them I was not interested in their services, and I didn't need them. The tips they gave though, I have gotten from experienced writers for free.

As for these people truly being able to help you, the answer is no.

If you really want to know to go get into a business, chose mentors who are successful in that business.

Don't go to people who are failures, who have to charge you to give you their advice.

I for one don't give a crap about Mr. Hansen's problems, I am not interested.

If you want to get your script read by people who can produce it or get it producer. you're going to have to write an interesting log line, synopsis, and/or query letter.

As for the quality of your script, just keep writing. The more you write, (with some feedback in the beginning from trustworthy people), the better you get!

If someone wants to make it as a professional screenwriter, you're going to have to get deals with people who ultimately have the power to distribute your project in a theatre. Otherwise, you will go broke, like so many artists do.

So along those lines, don't waste your money and time(which is probably worse), with people who can do nothing for you. There are people on this board who have kept lousy and/or fradulent agents for years who never got them a deal!

03-18-2004, 01:51 AM
just a note from a fellow screenwriter..... check the website and credits for the recent movie WOOLY BOYS, starring Kris Kristoferson and Peter Fonda (not HUGE names, but known) and the writing credits include Ed Hansen, Buck Flower and Glen Stephens. These guys (Ed and Buck) are not top of the list in Hollywood, obviously, but they can get a few things done. George "Buck" Flower is a well known bit/character actor and you can see a bio of him on John Carpenter's website. I cannot vouch for either man, but can say that both are friendly and cordial on the phone and will answer ANY questions up front. Ed is representing a script of mine, NEVER asked for a rewrite, and NO MONEY was exchanged. I get updates every other month and I ran his contract through two attorneys before signing. What they do with some writers is questionable, so if you're leary, then stay away, but it is NOT illegal. Their "form" letters do not go out to everyone, but to many..... but at least they read scripts from unknowns and try to work with them. I understand every post on here, and I understand all the anger, but I can say Ed does take on some scripts without taking money. The arguments will most likely continue, but I just wanted to post my two cents, do with it what you will. My only advice (if I'm even qualified to give any) is to always copyright your work, always look into a company before signing anything, and always keep writing..... I wish us all success, and if your writing is good enough, you can open doors ANYWHERE.

03-18-2004, 02:55 AM
Your work is under copyright protection from the moment you write it down on your notebook or computer. Registration is just done for formality, and to establish a date of completion.

And just because a manager takes you on and seems to want to work with you, does not mean you've got a deal. There are managers who've ripped their so called clients for 8 years without sales. And if the person has a poor reputation, he may be doing your projects more harm than good by representing you.

03-20-2004, 03:54 AM
Yes, technically your work is copyrighted the moment you write it, but that doesn't hold up if there ever (God forbid) is a question about copyright infringement... without proper registration a defense of "but I wrote it first" holds not a drop of water. Hopefully you will never find yourself in a situation like that, but if you're going to submit your scripts all around, it only makes sense to register it and be able to prove date of completion. It's a small formality, and very inexpensive whether you go through the WGA or the US Copyright office.

And secondly, yes, a manager who can't move a script is not a good thing. One should give a manager reasonable time and if nothing happens, pull out of the contract. To stay with a manager for eight years with nothing happeneing is not a smart move... and is just absurd.

03-20-2004, 05:35 AM
"Hopefully you will never find yourself in a situation like that, but if you're going to submit your scripts all around, it only makes sense to register it and be able to prove date of completion. It's a small formality, and very inexpensive whether you go through the WGA or the US Copyright office."

While the industry expects for you to register your scripts, it won't offer you any more protection than just having it on your hard drive.

No one would be mad enough to simply take your screenplay and stamp their name on it. That's too provable.

However, people do get inspiration from other works of art that they see. Ideas are not copyrightable, only their expression.

I think there are few, if any cases of someone winning a lawsut for a "stolen" script. And if you lose, your career is most likely permanently destroyed as no one will want submissions from someone who they know likes to sue!

Basically, if you have screenplays, your best best is to keep submitting them until someone buys them. People write similiar scripts all the time. If your work is good, someone will purchase it at some point. If evidence comes up that someone is engaging in copyright infringement, the studio or production company will deal with it.

06-12-2004, 10:10 PM
Just wondering if anyone here has ever heard of Paul Lawrence Productions, Inc.? His website is www.paullawrenceproductions.com. ;)


06-13-2004, 12:00 AM
isn't this the guy who, along with buck flowers, was ed hansen's hand-off 'script doctor' he used for bilking his newbie victims out of fees, after he hooked them by saying he could sell their work 'after it was fixed up a bit'?

06-13-2004, 12:37 AM
Oh, yeah - that's the same guy! Run! :gone

07-29-2004, 10:11 AM
I wrote to him regarding his query for 'commercial scripts,' and got a response of him wanting to read it.

1. Has anyone else done this and sent in your script? Have you gotten a response from him?

2. Is this just a bait and catch to get revision charges? He says he's sold a script with some known actors in it, is he genuine?

08-03-2004, 06:02 PM
Okay, somebody find the old posts!

I have no idea what he's doing now-- can judge only by his history.

08-03-2004, 09:53 PM
...FAKE!... do not send him a thing, if you don't have time and money to waste... he and his cronies have been preying on know-nuthin' newbies for years 'n years now...

he started out working with porn producer ed hansen... does that tellya anything?

[edited 8/6 to correct mention re pl's history]

08-06-2004, 10:44 AM
I found this off yahoo via Variety. on his website he has a movie called "experiment" with all of these actors / producer/ etc. The only thing different is that on his site him and Ed Hansen wrote the film, but Variety says otherwise. I dont know what to make of this, but it's interesting.

Mon Jul 19,10:39 PM ET

Online Staff, STAFF

Maverick Films and Primetime Pictures have begun principal photography on "Cruel World," starring Edward Furlong (news) ("Terminator 2: Judgment Day"), Susan Ward ("Shallow Hal") and Jaime Pressley ("Torque").

Pic follows a scorned reality TV show runnerup who traps nine college students on his own fictitious show in which getting voted off costs them their lives.

Shooting is taking place in Albuquerque, N.M.

Primetime principal Kelsey Howard ("Scorched") is directing the pic from a script by Paul T. Murray and Eugene Hess.

Rounding out the cast of tormented college students are Andrew Keegan ("O"), Sanoe Lake ("Blue Crush") and Nicole Bilderback ("Bring It On").

"Cruel" is being produced by Maverick's Tim Wesley, along with Kelsey Howard and Primetime principal Todd Nealey. Exec producers are Milton Kim, Maverick co-founder Guy Oseary and Len Evens.

International rights will be handled by Pascal Borno of Conquistador Entertainment; Maverick will sell domestic distribution rights.

James D. Macdonald
07-13-2005, 10:02 AM
There doesn't seem to have been much new about Atomic Hollywood (Ed Hansen) in the past year or so.

08-16-2014, 08:52 PM
Nor anything for Paul Lawrence after '10.