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LoisLane
03-31-2008, 03:03 PM
Hello All,

I have had one beta already, (not in the biz but 'LOVED' the ms *smiles*) however, I am looking for a little more constructive feedback on the first 3-5 pages and, possibly, the first 50 if it works out well.

The feedback I received from a passing agent was that while the ms pays careful attention to structure, pacing and character development she just didn't love the writing. OMW!!! After coming back from the ledge, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and gave it another hard edit. Now, it's been requested by another agent and I could really use some help. I am not able to mail a hardcopy, so I don't know how it would work or if beta reading is even for me.

I am willing to swap work of the same length. I do prefer someone who knows/reads/enjoys this genre and has editing experience to help me identify problem areas, if possible. Not sure if that's too much to ask...I'm sure you guys will let me know in due time. LOL.

Thanks in advance. AW has been really great, thus far! :D

JJ Cooper suggested I post a blurb about the ms. Well, here's the one I use in my query:

CHILD SUPPORT, is a drama about what happens when past sins demand penance and new ones refuse to be buried. It distinctly deals with unpaid child support and its residual affects even after the child is of age. It is also a story about love, hope and the healing of families who come together to mend that, which is broken. I believe it would intrigue the same readers of DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS by Walter Mosley and readers of the Alex Cross novels like ALONG CAME A SPIDER by James Patterson.

Duncan "Monte" Montgomery is a young, big city detective with the best-solved homicide record and a confident swagger to match. None of that helps him when his ex-girlfriend, crusading newspaper reporter Roxanna "Roxie" Tate, becomes his next case. As her family drama unfolds, a woman pained by the abandonment of an unapologetic father with a high-dollar motive comes into view. As Monte is forced to race against her newspaper's deadline, the investigation detours and he can't seem to get anything right for the first time in his career. Finally, he turns to some unlikely sources for help when dealing with not one but two suspects: the victim's would-be politician father, the other Roxie's friend and colleague.

JJ Cooper
03-31-2008, 03:20 PM
Hi there,

May I suggest you post the first 3-5 pages in Share Your Work board under the Thriller section and ask for a critique. That way you may get a broader perspective then just the one beta reader. Additionally, you may receive a particular opinion that better suits your style. Then you can ask that person via PM if they would consider reading the next 50 odd pages.

If you don't want to do that, a short snippet of what your thriller is about here may help securing a BETA match for your MS.

JJ

LoisLane
03-31-2008, 03:44 PM
Hi there,

May I suggest you post the first 3-5 pages in Share Your Work board under the Thriller section and ask for a critique. That way you may get a broader perspective then just the one beta reader. Additionally, you may receive a particular opinion that better suits your style. Then you can ask that person via PM if they would consider reading the next 50 odd pages.

If you don't want to do that, a short snippet of what your thriller is about here may help securing a BETA match for your MS.

JJ

Thanks. I'll take a gander at the SYW board but I'm not yet comfortable enough to just throw it out there. I don't even know what type of readers they are, etc. As I have just returned from the ledge, I feel I must tread lightly.

I will take your advice and paste my query graph into the initial thread. Hopefully, that will help. Thanks again!

Jake Barnes
04-08-2008, 10:51 PM
I'll look at yours if you'll look at mine. It's posted above under "Beta readers wanted for thriller."