Best one-liner archive - NOMINATIONS thread!

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Stew21

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You've all seen the one-liner post that in or out of context is the funniest thing you saw that day. Post the link to the AW thread with the best one-liner you can remember on AW.
Besides the link also snip the text and quote for us, if you could.

Nominate your favorite for the one-liner thread in the archive!
 

Bravo

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i'm sure there will be some pearls here.
 

Bravo

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"humans often look like pathetic insects to a diety descending from olympics" - haskins
 
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mscelina

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Here's a quick compilation of fang relief nominations:

Orginally posted by MacalisterI've gone quite mad, you know.

Somehow the moderators don't seem to have noticed, yet.
--this was when the fangsters got Hello Kittied...and much fear and shame flourished in our midst.

and then there'sthis one from lostgirl:
originally posted by lostgirl
I think he gave the whale indigestion? Or was he the one who was a wooden boy and set the fire inside the whale to make the whale cough him out? I get Disney and the Bible confused sometimes.

I think I've done it. I'm actually going to go to hell for this. LOL

This from Soccer Mom after a rejection:

originally posted by Soccer`Mom--
Time to send the story back out. Sometimes I feel like a story pimp. I just keep sending them out to make me a buck. Ten dollar? Twenty? My story love you long time. Gimme five.

and this from our beloved BenPanced, who always finds a way to make a pithy post :

originally posted by BenPanced--Hi. I want to write a novel, but I don't want to use words. They just get in the way. And I can't draw, either, so what should I do?

And those are just from the first 500 posts. I'll post more later.
 

Soccer Mom

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Here is a classic Mscelina line regarding Hello Kitty:

two days ago my youngest daughter turned eighteen. I have survived Barney, Elmo, Barbie, Pokemon, Hello Kitty, The Simpsons and South Park. Please forgive me if Hello Kitty makes we want to saw through my wrist with a rusty tin can top.
 

Haggis

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Not a one liner at all, nor a slew of one liners. But somehow we've got to honor Maryn's noteworthy way of signing her messages.

Haggis, who's not clever enough to think of anything to say here
 

Stew21

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I'd like to add Spinal Tapestry's - "Poetry is as serious as a roundhouse" to this thread.
 

Chase

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My second nomination.

William Haskins on guilty pleasures:
"I read to deaf people."

Chase on smug hearie jokes about deafies:

"I sign ASL to audist asses."
 

Maryn

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So does this mean my suckerific query letter will win agents' hearts and minds if I come up with a really good closing to add after my name?

Maryn, reminding you all that Hope is the last to die
 

bergalia

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Two actually: "The day that you die is the same as any other day - only shorter..." Samuel Beckett.

And a line from Jimmy McGovern's TV series 'Cracker' (UK version - not the pallid US version). Cracker has just witnessed the birth of his son - and like any proud father is boasting: "He's got a huge willie..."
Female witness response" "Well never mind - at least he's got your eyes..."
 
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