• Basic Writing questions is not a crit forum. All crits belong in Share Your Work

revealing background info via dialogue/thoughts

Status
Not open for further replies.

Xeen

Registered
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
24
Reaction score
1
Location
Grants Pass, Oregon
Hello, its me again. Your average wanna-write-better writer. I'm trying to tackle my writing no-no's one at a time, as I discover them.

Would you believe I'm just now getting around to learning about adverbs? Good gods.

Anyway.

My problem is I have background information that I can't let go of. Of course that's not my only problem. What's also bugging the shit out of me is the pace of releasing information... if that makes sense.

But first of all... I have a prologue *ducks*.

The prologue takes place 12 years prior to the actual story starting. Her life is saved by a lady and the lady asks her to just return the favor some day. The favor shows up in the form of lady's daughter 12 years later who asks MC for help which becomes the main plot of the story. Whew... its not as pathetic as it might sound. I promise.

I also have a conversation between MC, MCs lover and a friend. Friend asks how MC and MCs lover met. That's a long story in and of itself. And a funny one. I've tagged my roomie with writing that, for fun (we write in the same world I created, my MC's lover is his creation). They talk about it, not in detail, but the basics of it. Okay, I can take that out and just not bring up the subject of their meeting for the whole series I guess. But having that sort of background information enriches the characters, in my opinion. I know almost every detail about my characters- not that I'm going to share her cup size, but some details feel really important to me and I'm convinced the reader would have fun knowing such things (how they met, not cup size).

So... how to convey information that took place before the story started without gratuitous amounts of flashbacks and using a prologue? And when my characters -do- talk about background stuff, how to keep from making it an information dump that might annoy/bog the reader, no matter how entertaining I think it is?

I'm working on a scene right now where my MC is talking to a lady she met a few years ago and haven't seen for several months. This character is (probably?) not going to pop up in the series again. I'm having a hard time holding the reigns on my How-They-Met-Story horse and keeping it as just a few thoughts for the reader. This is an example of an angle I'm thinking of going with... information revealed via dialogue and the current character's POV? Does this work? (Adrian as an anthro, if you're wondering about the ears).

My goal is revealing information (in this case, not story related) without it being a boggy dump and showing instead of telling. This is as good as my writing gets, btw. Feel free to spank me for any atrocities you see :p

Adrian's ears perked up and she saw someone waving and coming towards her. It was Lonna, a short and upbeat woman she met in Tradesport a few years ago. She helped Lonna clean up and get into a reputable brothel. It wasn't an ideal life, but it worked for Lonna.

“Wait here,” Adrian said to Zander and Rayna and left them alone at the table. Adrian could feel the bartender's eyes staring down at them as she greeted Lonna.
“I'm off duty, Franc, relax,” Lonna said to the bartender over her shoulder.
“I'll buy you a drink. You still like tea?” Adrian asked before going to the bar.
“That'll sooth sore old Franc," Lonna said.

Moments later Adrian joined Lonna at a privet booth, tea in hand. “What news do you have?”
“What, I don't get to hear 'You're looking great, Lonna, what's your secret?'” Lonna said.
Adrian examined Lonna low that they were face to face.Her eyes were red and face puffy. Judging by her weight, she looked like she had been using for several months. These effects aged her beyond her 21 years. “You look like shit. What have they been doing to you?”



Sooo yeah. I tried searching around here first for what I was looking for. I found some cool stuff but didn't know exactly what I wanted. This conversation starts mingling in conversation geared towards some of the actual story, Lonna has vital information for Adrian which she's using to distract Adrian from the fact that she's been kicked out of the reputable brothel for drug use... so its not a completely non-related and useless conversation.

Whew. That was a long post, but I've been unable to help myself and need advice.

Thank you all! There's a lot of patience around here :)

-Angela
 

underthecity

Finestkind
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
3,126
Reaction score
768
Location
Near Cincinnati
Website
www.allensedge.com
Adrian's ears perked up and she saw someone waving and coming towards her. It was Lonna, a short and upbeat woman she met in Tradesport a few years ago. She helped Lonna clean up and get into a reputable brothel. It wasn't an ideal life, but it worked for Lonna.

I might suggest working bits of the BG information into the dialogue later than when Lonna is first introduced (or whenever any character enters the scene.) Otherwise, you have a quick bio of each character every time that character is introduced.

You might try this: (just my opinions)

Adrian's ears perked up and she saw someone waving and coming towards her.

“Wait here,” Adrian said to Zander and Rayna. "Lonna!" she called out.

Lonna came over. The bartender's eyes was staring her down. “I'm off duty, Franc," she told him, "relax."

Adrian had met Lonna a few months ago in Tradesport. "I'll buy you a drink. You still like tea?”

“That'll soothe sore old Franc," Lonna said.

"How's the brothel business? Still treating you okay?"

"It's a life."


(Whenever you can, try to work the background info into dialogue. Especially if the characters are catching up. But try not to overdo it.)

allen
 
Last edited:

Elaine Margarett

High and Dry
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 24, 2007
Messages
1,718
Reaction score
282
Location
chasing windmills
So... how to convey information that took place before the story started without gratuitous amounts of flashbacks and using a prologue? And when my characters -do- talk about background stuff, how to keep from making it an information dump that might annoy/bog the reader, no matter how entertaining I think it is?

I have this issue, but opposite in that I'm not revealing enough of my character. I'm writing a mystery series and I want to hold info back about the MC. For the next three books I want there to continue to be a sense of discovery about the character. She's complex and I'm laying the threads in the first book, but the feedback I got on a requested partial was to get rid of one of the subplots and not make her so cryptic.

So now I need to change this if I want to resubmit and I'm wondering how to do this without chunks of dialog or worse, lots of introspection. At some point this comes of as telling as well.

Any insight as to how to strike a balance?


EM,
who thinks if the agent had only read further some of these issues would have been answered.
 

jodi henley

Registered
Joined
Mar 27, 2008
Messages
15
Reaction score
5
Any insight as to how to strike a balance?


EM,
who thinks if the agent had only read further some of these issues would have been answered.

lol, auntie Em--you know how agents are.

uhm, I'd suggest (if you like mysteries) to check out the Mallory series by Caroll o Connell. Mallory's Oracle is the first in the series. Mallory is a work in progress, a fascinating enigmatic sociopath. I can read these books over and over and still be amazed at how good o Connell is. Each book is like peeling an onion.

the balance is superb.

I think...it's hard to tell if you are balanced right. You're going to need an outside opinion. Get someone who has never read you to take a look. It could be that your agent likes a lot of info. Some do. Some hate being subtle. Only you can decide if you want to rewrite.

then again--maybe you do have a lot of subplots, and could benefit from a trim. If your beta reader doesn't get your character, maybe she can tell you where she feels the character is lacking.

I think o Connell does so well because she uses alternating third and different povs to bring the main character in tight. While she pushes on the mystery, she also has this enormous cast, all focused on Mallory.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.