I love this question. And while my childhood was not peaches and cream, of course I have some beautiful memories. Here's my chart topper:
My older brother was evil, trust me! My family didn't have much money, so when my mom came home with a Cabbage Patch Doll for me, I was in shock. I was 8 and didn't really like dolls, but for some reason I really wanted one of those (probably because everyone else had one? ) So, for about 6 months, this doll went everywhere with me. I even remember her name, Babs Missy. Is that awful or what? Don't worry, I didn't pick it out, they came with names. One day it was raining and I loved the rain, still do. But if I wanted to play outside, I would have to leave Babs inside, since I didn't want to ruin her. I was outside sitting up in a tree (we built a fort in it and I was reading under the fort so as not to soak my book), when my brother called me. He said he wanted me to come inside and play with him and Jason Martini. Wow! I couldn't believe it. I jumped out of that tree so fast and ran into the house, it was a split level. At the top of the steps, in my dad's recliner, was Babs, with a spoon in her hand and something that looked like chocolate smeared all over her face and hands. Behind the chair, my brother, in his best Cabbage Patch voice, said "Mmmm, I love dog poop, it tastes SOOOOO good!" Of course I screamed and cried and thought I would die. When my dad got home that night, I told him what happened. He made my brother clean the whole doll, scrubbing her face extra hard. And since all the scrubbing took the shine off her face, he made my brother put makeup on her. He had my mom's makeup case and everyone watched carefully as he added each layer, foundation, blush, eye shadow.... And if it wasn't quite right, my dad would make him do it again.
Now, I know this sounds like torment, but it was really great watching my brother have to put make up on that doll. And a few years later, I started to think about this occasion, it really cracked me up. I tried to imagine how my brother got that poop all over her. I bet he had it on him too! That coupled with the makeup really made it worthwhile, even though I never touched that doll again (ewwww).