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Stew21
03-28-2008, 11:04 PM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27632&highlight=Royalty

As decreed by Jenna "in order to squash the love battles", Royalty for a day began.

Our Royal History:

King SeanDSchaffer
Queen Reph
King Robeaie (we haven't heard the last of this one)
Queen ArrowQueen
King aka eraser
King ChunkyC
Queen Jenna

Starting the transition to week long reigns began with:
Queen Susie and the tradition (with some glitches) has carried on since with:
Queen Yeshanu
King Poetinahat
Queen Perks (this is when the wheels came off - what it meant to be AW Royalty changed from this day forward)
King TrumanCoyote (then the hinges sprung loose)
Queen JAlpha held the crown for a whole 2 minutes who passed it to
King BrokenFingers who held the crown for a day
Queen Tiny Terror began the reign of Terror
Queen PSG
Queen Jo
a week's confusion and we have triumvirate TinyTerror, Robeaie and BrokenFingers
Queen MacAllister fixed it - benevolent and jackbooted.
Queen Unique
King ShadowFerret
Queen Jaycinth - she went mad, lost her grip on reality, and ran away from the castle.
Robeaie came back.

A great darkness washed over the realm of AW - reigns of Kings and Queens were lost, and in the light, when the dark had passed, confusion dimmed the doors of the castle
Robeiae took over again.
Queen WriterTerri said she was queen - survived from the dark time.
She abdicated to King Godfather
Robeaie stepped in again, gave the throne back to Terri -
Godfather would not let go until he abdicated to
Queen DamaNegra
Queen TJ Writer
Queen Stew21
King KTC
King TeddyG (he did not want the title and tried to pass the crown back to King Shadow Ferret until he was reminded that he could choose a harem)
Queen Sassandgroove
Queen Midnight Muse -

(I only made it to page 70 fo the thread the other half on the way.)

To be continued...
I'll tell you the story of the yak, the dungeon, the moat, and the eggplant and the oranges and don't even get me started on Huggis - evil twin to Haggis - in our next installment.)

We are currently King-less and Queen-less

(let me guess, Robeiae is going to take it over again.) :rolleyes:

mscelina
03-28-2008, 11:20 PM
Aw....I want to be the Queen. After years of working in a gay bar, I was always the only little princess in a room full of queens. My tiara was smaller. *sniff*

On second thought, it's probably a good idea if I stay off thrones. I have a habit of making deals with the devil, and then all of AW would turn into a very dark urban fantasy. Best keep the glories of AW safe for the saner denizens who live here.

Stew21
03-28-2008, 11:22 PM
You give them far too much credit, MsC. I can assure you there was very little sanity in throne room - I'd say the real crazies started taking over from about TrumanCoyote's reign.

Perks
03-28-2008, 11:36 PM
I don't think my reign has been accurately portrayed.

Stew21
03-28-2008, 11:41 PM
You took Frank's prostate from him. You made maryn, robeiae, and dahmnait come into the court to explain how to pronounce their names, you wore vinyl pants.
:roll:

Stew21
03-28-2008, 11:58 PM
Regarding Frank's Prostate: he said to your successor, The Great Trumancoyote:



Forgive my tardiness in expressing felicitations my liege. I was scurrying about the kingdom trying to retrieve my prostate (discarded by our previous majesty who found it not to her liking) when I heard of your coronation. Wisely, I postponed my search for a week and instead fashioned you a thong from the finest, pearly-translucent trout skin. It has, of course an unnaturally large pouch to house the royal hose.

On the off-chance that it prove to be a tad large, please also accept this humble gift of an eggplant and two oranges.

mscelina
03-29-2008, 12:03 AM
Vinyl pants? I ain't wearin' no vinyl pants. The damn things are hot--and then when you start sweating they get all slimy against your legs and stick to them like flypaper.

I'd have a problem with prostate banishment too. What an unholy mess that would make.

sassandgroove
03-29-2008, 12:06 AM
I didn't even know there was a royalty thread until I was proclaimed Queen. Later someone nominated me again but I abdicated, since I'd already enjoyed one reign. BUt the history of the thread isn't just the lineage. After my time in the throne, I for a time served as the Royal Chef...That was fun.

Stew21
03-29-2008, 12:12 AM
You're right Sass, I haven't even gotten through the kings and queens yet - I've made no mention of cooks, gardners, jailers, court jesters, knights, and other appointed staff, guards and advisors.


Celina - you don't have to wear the pants, Queen Perks did though.

TrumanCoyote wanted us to make him shiny clothes.
Perks made Truman dress in clothes that jingled.
Huggis was the pirate brother of King Haggis and he stole him away.

The story is a long and colorful one.

As queen I only required beer and the use of puns.

ChunkyC
03-29-2008, 12:16 AM
Actually, the funniest bit in the whole thread was in the first post, when Jenna said this:

the royal member gets to make royal decrees and stuff.
I've always tried to treat my member royally, but making decrees is a bit beyond Big Willie's capabilities. ;)

sassandgroove
03-29-2008, 12:17 AM
:ROFL:

mscelina
03-29-2008, 12:18 AM
Oh. My. Gawd.

Is this whole board infected with TMI today?

Stew21
03-29-2008, 12:22 AM
It's been infected with TMI at least since the Old Fart thread got started.

sassandgroove
03-29-2008, 12:26 AM
Nah, longer than that. There's been threads about if we pee with the bathroom door open and what body hair we remove (or don't), to name a couple.

Stew21
03-29-2008, 12:27 AM
:D I know. It just seemed that the last two days was caused by a chain reaction that I have attributed to Haggis. ;)

Manofcolours
07-24-2008, 10:21 AM
What are you people on i need some of that:D gotta' lov the kings & queens, there has to be some order here or the castle will come tumbling down to the moat;) with the overthrow of the inhabitants, the orgies will rage on till another conquest befalls them.

:welcome: to the dark side of the ye old writers royalty.

BenPanced
07-24-2008, 07:42 PM
I'm the one who installed the shark tank in the throne room!

Hillary
07-24-2008, 08:58 PM
Queen Perks (this is when the wheels came off - what it meant to be AW Royalty changed from this day forward)
King TrumanCoyote (then the hinges sprung loose)
Queen JAlpha held the crown for a whole 2 minutes who passed it to
King BrokenFingers who held the crown for a day
Queen Tiny Terror began the reign of Terror
Queen PSG
Queen Jo
a week's confusion and we have triumvirate TinyTerror, Robeaie and BrokenFingers

I was riveted! But just when it seems Perks had made everything cool, and when TinyTerror, Robeaie and Brokenfingers had created some creepy poly-monarchy...


Queen MacAllister fixed it - benevolent and jackbooted.

Boo, hiss.


(Thanks Stew, this amused the hell outta me!)

Stew21
07-25-2008, 06:14 PM
Looks like I have to dig back in and finish the royal history, don't I?

Hillary
07-25-2008, 07:37 PM
Looks like I have to dig back in and finish the royal history, don't I?

I'm banking on that being rhetorical.

Danger Jane
07-26-2008, 05:08 AM
FINISH.


:e2teeth:



Wait..I'm not queen anymore...

StoryG27
07-26-2008, 05:12 AM
and don't even get me started on Huggis - evil twin to Haggis
Hmm, I always thought Haggis was the evil twin.

tiny
07-26-2008, 10:09 PM
I was riveted! But just when it seems Perks had made everything cool, and when TinyTerror, Robeaie and Brokenfingers had created some creepy poly-monarchy...




Was not creepy. It was..... well...... um...... never mind. Wasn't creepy. :p

Perks
07-26-2008, 10:32 PM
I love the 'Royalty' series. My abdication speech is one of my most proud AW moments because I was having so much fun.

And because Trumancoyote is out of his mind.

Hillary
07-27-2008, 01:57 AM
Was not creepy. It was..... well...... um...... never mind. Wasn't creepy. :p

And the lies and deception that (probably) categorized their reign of terror continue...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
07-27-2008, 02:09 AM
I don't remember much (any) of the week I was queen... maybe that's best.

Teena
07-28-2008, 07:22 AM
Introducing the Yankee who has just fallen into King Arthur (or somebody's) court. Didn't know this whole thing existed, but what fun!
To whom do I pay homage?? :Hail:

...What worth a crown if souls be lost, and loyalty should cease?
What value kingdoms must accrue to equal inner peace?
A madman walks deserted halls, but neither knows nor cares.
He seeks in dank and moldy rooms for his lost lady fair.
Perchance he stops, and cocks an ear, to hear ghost voices cry,
and whispers to himself in fear, "Lord Wemslay will not die!"
~ from Lord Wemslay... by me :)

Stew21
07-28-2008, 07:58 PM
I love the 'Royalty' series. My abdication speech is one of my most proud AW moments because I was having so much fun.

And because Trumancoyote is out of his mind.


My least proud moment of being Queen was when I said this:


http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=691819&postcount=1245

hangs head in shame

Stew21
07-28-2008, 08:27 PM
This brought tears to my eyes:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=701131&postcount=1343


hey, haggis, wake up....you have to go get more beer...and the rule is, if you pass out in the castle, you get swirlies, and we draw on your face with permanent black marker. If you don't want to walk out of here looking like a pirate with the words, "I love my own butt!" on your forehead, you better get up!

Stew21
07-28-2008, 08:44 PM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=768457&postcount=2072

this here is how Queen Midnight Muse ended her reign and appointed her successor.

Well, lookie here - - it's been a WHOLE week that I've been Queen! Sure, I've been a bit lax, I'm just your laid-back kinda Ruler, I guess. I've legalized drugs, given Ferrets free reign to run around (whilst I admired that furry butt) I've put all my manly men in Kilts, and let an Alleycat look after the handmaidens.

Looks like I've left quite a MESS around here

Of course, the new Royalty will make me a scullery maid, most likely, and I'll have to pick up all this trash, and the bagels. But such is life.

So, without further delay, and since I've already hidden the good jewels, I shall appoint a new Royal leader.

*horns blow, people cheer, I raise my hand to hush the expectant crowds*

I, Queen MidnightMuse, do hereby declare that our new Potentiate is to be, none other than . . . Cath, the Mighty and Fair!!!

WhooHoo!!! All Hail Queen Cath ! (word of advice: watch out for that Ferret) All Hail Queen Cath!!

Stew21
07-28-2008, 08:51 PM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=779132&postcount=2152

and....as promised, the Yak



Shhh, don't tell the Queen, but I brought my Yak to the party.
http://www.asiacouncil.org/yak.jpg
He'll blend right in.

Stew21
07-29-2008, 12:26 AM
Please check out the original Royalty thread. We have new royalty!

Go Hail your new queen - NERDS!

Williebee
07-29-2008, 12:30 AM
All hail NERDS.


They're not just for breakfast anymore.

Teena
07-29-2008, 02:52 AM
All hail her most beneficent queenliness, Nerds.....Nerds??!!?...yeah, uh, ok, all hail Queen Nerds. :Hail:

Danger Jane
07-29-2008, 06:28 AM
Wait a second---

I was coregent with ROBIEAIEIEIEIANEYRHE??!

No WONDER I don't remember my reign...

(and it was two years ago)

Write4U2
07-30-2008, 08:49 PM
Awwww, crap! I missed all the fun. :rant:

Is the original thread dead? Have all the queens gone back to San Francisco and Key West? How can one become a queen? Oh, yes, of course I know you have to be born to be a queen; I mean on this board?

Stew21
07-30-2008, 08:52 PM
It isn't dead! It's been revived. In Office Party. THe new royalty are King Cray and Queen Nerds.
Go pay your respects; you never know when cray is going to start the torture sessions in the dungeon. YOu'll want to be on his good side.

Write4U2
07-31-2008, 01:02 AM
Super! Do you think they'll mind if I arrive in a golf cart instead of a white steed?

Stew21
07-31-2008, 01:06 AM
Ah...No. They won't notice.

(see post #32 above for details)

sassandgroove
07-31-2008, 01:10 AM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27632&highlight=Royalty

A great darkness washed over the realm of AW - reigns of Kings and Queens were lost, and in the light, when the dark had passed, confusion dimmed the doors of the castle
:


Was the great darkness the whole Barbara Baur debacle?


Please check out the original Royalty thread. We have new royalty!



Go Hail your new queen - NERDS!




All hail NERDS.

They're not just for breakfast anymore.


All hail her most beneficent queenliness, Nerds.....Nerds??!!?...yeah, uh, ok, all hail Queen Nerds.

No No No ...you pay your respects in the link above....


Super! Do you think they'll mind if I arrive in a golf cart instead of a white steed?
That would be awesome.

Stew21
07-31-2008, 01:19 AM
No, it was after that stuff happened. A while later they had server issues and we lost about 5 or 6 weeks of posts completely. In one day, they were just gone.
It was like a time warp around here.
That's why a lot of the stuff after we all got back here from Roger's Camp are gone. We lost all of those.

sassandgroove
07-31-2008, 01:20 AM
Yeah I remember that. I call it the wipe out. I still maintain my most brilliant posts were during that time. ;) (I actually did have something in SYW that was wiped.)

Cassiopeia
07-31-2008, 05:45 AM
I was Queen for a week. Didn't know what I was doing so I happily gave up the throne to become the court's astronomer. *sigh*

good times people.

good times. :D

Susie
08-04-2008, 03:34 AM
That is too funny, Trish. Thanks much for the history and I was sooooo glad to be Queen. Being King-less & Queen-less isn't a good thing. Is that like being bra-less & virgin-less? :)

Bayou Bill
08-06-2008, 02:31 AM
Looks like I have to dig back in and finish the royal history, don't I?

May I be of some assistance?
My specialty is finishing off royalty.


http://blogs.trb.com/sports/football/jets/blog/guillotine.gif

Bayou Bill :cool:

Stew21
08-06-2008, 11:54 PM
Bayou Bill? We haven't seen you around here in a long time. Welcome back!
:)

Bayou Bill
08-07-2008, 05:11 AM
Bayou Bill? We haven't seen you around here in a long time. Welcome back!
:)
Thank you most kindly, beautiful lady.

I've been off on medical leave, so to speak. It was getting to the point where my back was hurting too much to sit for over a few minutes. Even if I could, seeing the screen was becoming a chore because my old eyeball was going bad. So I had the back overhauled then a week later got the eye recapped with a new cornea transplant. I'm not through healing-up (all this happened a couple moments ago) but things have improved to the point where I can sit, see the screen, and inflict myself on my unsuspecting fellow writers.

Bayou Bill :cool:

Write4U2
08-07-2008, 11:28 PM
Ah...No. They won't notice.

(see post #32 above for details)

OK, how many rep points will I have to pay for the Yak?:rant:

Ambrosia
03-15-2009, 09:39 PM
Every ruler from foul to fair deserves remembrance. Their deeds have crafted this Kingdom into its current glory. Yet, not every Monarch has penned their legacy where others may easily access it, learn from it, and remember their reign. Most are lost to the fogs of time.

Curious, and desperate in Our need to know how to proceed in ruling the Kingdom, We searched through the Royal annals. We learned much in those early pages of the Realm's histories and became inspired by the wisdom of Queen Perks the Fierce. From her We gleaned how to leave a proper legacy of Our August Reign. Yet, in all humbleness We felt a desire to focus not on Ourselves for Our own remembrance, but to construct a proper remembrance for the sake of all who came before Us, and for all who will walk in the footsteps of Monarch's past.

Thus, We set Our pen to the page and Our eyes to the histories, gleaning the Royal lineage from the pages of time, recording what pertinent information its pages would release from the dusty, brittle pages. It is Our fervent hope that what These eyes fail to see in the truths of times past, where This hand fails in accuracy to catch the moment, those who know their time spent serving the Kingdom best by having borne this heaviest mantle of responsibility, the Crown, will deem to correct and fill in where We have failed.

Thus begins the task before Us, Our legacy, Our gift to the Kingdom We so love and have been honored to serve. May Our Reign be remembered with fondness.

Penned this day, March 15, 2009, by Her Royal Majesty Ambrosia the Beneficient, Queen of the Writer's Realm.

=================================

The Royal Lineage with added, brief histories as needed for clarification.

King Sean the First
Queen Reph the Flattened
King Robeiae the Eclectic
Queen Arrowqueen the Ennobler
King Frank the Fish Whisperer
King Charles the UnASSuming(ChunkyC)
Queen Jenna the Bounteous
Queen Susie the Sweet
Queen Yeshanu the Kind
King Poetinahat the Renowned
Queen Perks the Fierce
King TrumanCoyote the Flametoriously Fabulous
Queen Jalpha (Abdicated)
King Brokenfingers (Abdicated)
Queen Tiny Terror the 'Terrible'
Pretty Special Gal the Courteous
Queen Jo the Indecipherable
(Coup attempt by the Triumvirate of Terror in the 4th month of the year 2006, during which former King Poetinahat was put back onto the throne. That coup was being squashed by Queen Jo, until her disappearance. Rumor has it that Robeiae, Tiny Terror, and Brokenfingers, the members of the Triumvirate of Terror, kidnapped her so the trio could rule in her stead. When the Queen finally resurfaced she indicated she was abdicating at that time and leaving the Kingdom to the trio. The Realm was saved by her quick thought and subterfuge. She had hidden the Royal Regalia in a secret location and once freed from the dastardly trio of usurpers sent the Crown, and thus the rule, to MacAllister. Thus, the Royal line was continued by MacAllister's ascention to the throne.)
Queen Mac the Powerful
Queen Unique the Magnificent
King Shadow Ferrett the Regretful
Queen Jaycinth the Split
(Queen Jaycinth runs in terror from the castle, leaving the kingdom without a monarch for weeks.)

*Queen Ambrosia pinches the bridge of her nose, closing Her eyes tight against the pain and fatigue of reading so many pages at one sitting. She realizes she must return to the audience hall and leave Her studies for a later time. Sighing, She closes the books, then wraps them carefully in leather to preserve them, and packs them in Her travelling bags. Later, when there is more time... *

brad_b
03-15-2009, 10:06 PM
Wonderful idea, Queen Ambrosia, A legacy of the lineage of the Royal Thread is a very good idea. I, for one, haven't taken the time to read the vast history that exists in the annals of the RT, though the bits I have perused are joyous and funny. The talents of our writers here at AW can be seen in many ways throughout the place, and the RT has many facets of those skills. I can only imagine the time you took researching the list so far... the RT is one of the longest threads at AW currently over 37,000 posts. Best wishes in your endeavor.

Sweetleaf
03-15-2009, 10:12 PM
I pledge fealty to thee, Queen Ambrosia, and to the mighty Queen Mac the Powerful.

:Hail:

Ambrosia
03-15-2009, 10:18 PM
I pledge fealty to thee, Queen Ambrosia, and to the mighty Queen Mac the Powerful.

:Hail:Come on over to the Royalty for a Week thread, overtired. You will find Us partying there. You are more than welcome to attend. Nice to meet you.

Susie
03-15-2009, 11:12 PM
What a wonderful lineage of Kings & Queens. I'm honored to be among them. This calls for :Cake:! :)

Ken
03-15-2009, 11:23 PM
...good idea. Fun to read thru the lineage :-)

Perks
03-15-2009, 11:31 PM
Lol! My abdication speech is still one of my favorite things I've written here at AW. Most noble of you, Queen Ambrosia, and stout-hearted as well, to pen the lineage.

Stew21
04-01-2009, 12:25 AM
I'm going to tag this on to the other one. :)

Susie
04-18-2009, 10:45 PM
Durn it, I never gave a farewell speech when I was Queen. Too late to do it now? :D

Ken
04-19-2009, 01:25 AM
... it's never too late.
Speech; SPEECH!!! :-)

Ambrosia
04-19-2009, 02:12 AM
Durn it, I never gave a farewell speech when I was Queen. Too late to do it now? :D
I didn't give one last time. I had a whole story plot to finish up. Maybe tomorrow night. I will have to think on it. :)

cooeedownunder
04-23-2009, 10:28 AM
I never gave a abduction speech either - I kind of ran out really quickly the last time.

Ambrosia
04-28-2009, 10:42 PM
I never gave a abduction speech either - I kind of ran out really quickly the last time.Ya. Thanks for that. :tongue