The New & Improved PA SLogans thread

Publish America. Turning People Into Authors One Dollar At A Time.

Nobody Takes Care of You Like Publish America.

PA- We Don't Give A F***!

Publish America- Just like your family, only more dysfunctional.

Just when I think I can't laugh anymore...someone posts something like that!

PublishAmerica ...shattering your dreams from sea to shining sea.

Publish America- Where hopes become horrors & dreams become disillusions.

Publish America- We treat our Authors the old fashioned way, we screw 'em.

Publish America- Destroying literature one tome at a time.

rihannsu said:

Publish America- Just like your family, only more dysfunctional.

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But not as funny.

Publish America -- where publishing makes cents!

SouthernWriter1978 said:

PA

We treat our authors the old fashioned way--we play them.

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PA--A license to print money!

PA -- Building our empire with your dreams.

dobiwon said:

Publish America -- where publishing makes cents!

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PublishAmerica: You scratch our back, we'll stab yours.

PublishAmerica: Because Real Publishers Have Helicopters!

PublishAmerica: For the Trusting Midwesterner. Because We're Afraid Those People on the Coast Might Kill Us.

PublishAmerica: We Only Read the PAMB. Because LOL.

PublishAmerica: 5,000 Books a Year, 260 Work Days in a Year. You Do the Math.

PublishAmerica: Helping Writers Avoid a Higher Tax Bracket Since 1999.

PublishAmerica: The More You Buy, the Faster We Make Bail!

PublishAmerica: We Guarantee You'll Sell as Many Books as You Read Last Year!

PublishAmerica: Please Spell it Correctly on Your Checks!

PublishAmerica: Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!

PublishAmerica: Plagerism? Plagierism? Plagiarism? No Problem!

PublishAmerica: When you step in PA, you'll know it, but you'll still look around as if someone else is to blame.

thethinker42 said:

PublishAmerica: You scratch our back, we'll stab yours.

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I nearly choked on my drink, thinker!

PublishAmerica: We'll rip you a new one. Then you'll need Preparation I (industrial strength).

CatSlave said:

OK, I talked myself into it on the PAMB:

Oh wait!
They're still using 'resonates with an audience' and 'fits like a glove' and 'from sea to shining sea.'
I realize these brilliant, pithy blurbs have revealed the essence of PA for lo these many years, but it's time to put them out to pasture, so to speak.

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I dunno, all the other cults I've heard of have used the same slogans for decades and decades, though often they DO add new ones (while denying that they ever changed, of course).

CatSlave said:

How about something new and exciting and catchy, like:
Preparation PA: Prompt Relief from Reality Symptoms

I bet all y'all can come up with something better.
Maybe PA will pay you a dollar for the best slogan.

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Nah, only if the slogan is sent to PA in the form of a manuscript.

(sounds kinda like the Jeopardy game show - "please state your answer in the form of a manuscript.")

BenPanced said:

Publish America. Turning People Into Authors One Dollar At A Time.

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Nah, let me edit that (I'll try not to add too many misspellings):

BenPanced said:

Publish America. Turning People Authors Into Authors Scamees One Dollar At A Time.

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rihannsu said:

Publish America- Just like your family, only more dysfunctional.

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Nah, sorry, not possible...

Sparhawk said:

Publish America- Where hopes become horrors & dreams become disillusions.

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Oh, so PA IS a horror publisher... (pun intended)

And with apologies to Richard Dawkins (and possibly God, as well): The PA Delusion.

Of course, to understand PublishAmerica, you'll need Dan Brown's latest book, The PA Code.

Publish America. We're Right. Everybody Else Is Wrong. Because We Said So. Don't Question Us.

PublishAmerica: Publishing or Us

If they ever open an academic division, they could use the motto "Publish and Perish"