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View Full Version : A Prayer Request for Sherry's Next Child



SherryTex
03-27-2008, 03:27 AM
I know AW has one, but after scrolling through 9 pages trying to find it, I'm just asking here.

We are expecting our 9th child.

The tests they do on someone with AMA (advanced maternal age...i.e. over 40) indicate a more than one in five chance that this baby has Downs Syndrome.

We are keeping this child regardless. We are getting the tests to know for certain. The ambivalence I find far more disquieting than not knowing. The test is on Friday, we'll find out next week.

Right now, it's just hard.
Thanks for listening.

Sherry

Rolling Thunder
03-27-2008, 03:29 AM
Here you go, Sherry. Just in case you want post this there, too. :)

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22107&highlight=prayer

Appalachian Writer
03-27-2008, 03:35 AM
You and yours are now officially in my prayers. But I can't help but say it NINE children! You're a better woman than I am. I had enough trouble with two. Now I feel like a whimp!

Devil Ledbetter
03-27-2008, 03:40 AM
Sherry, I'm not the praying sort, but I do know that the false positive rate for screening (non-diagnostic) prenatal tests are ridiculously high. I will keep my fingers crossed.

There are a ton of great support sites and forums on line for parents of kids with Down syndrome.

writerterri
03-27-2008, 03:47 AM
Aww, the proper thing to say is sorry but I've seen way too many down syndrome people who are just adorable. So, congrats on your ninth child. May they be the biggest blessing in your family. Jenna has a brother who's down syndrome perhaps she's the one to talk to. I pray for strength and wisdom for you and your family if the baby does have the syndrome. And if God will may He put His hand on the baby and heal him/her.

Amen!

Silver King
03-27-2008, 04:08 AM
Nine? Is that all? My great-grandmother had twenty-three. The last one came along when she was fifty-two. No kidding. So you have some work yet to do in catching up to her! :)

You'll be fine, and so will the baby. Your mind is already made up, and that's most of the battle you've won right there. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy. And don't forget to post photos of your expanding frame! Women with child are always so beautiful...

(BTW, we can change the thread title if you'd like. How about, A prayer request for Sherry's next child?)

Perks
03-27-2008, 04:09 AM
It'll be good to know, but either way, this baby will be loved. You can do, madame, you're an expert at loving.

Unique
03-27-2008, 04:15 AM
advanced maternal age also increases the odds one will have a genius as well.

ambivalence is better than stress. ((hugs)) to you, sherry. I'll keep you & yours in my prayers.

Mumut
03-27-2008, 04:22 AM
All the best, Sherry. I hope everything turns out just fine.

Mandy-Jane
03-27-2008, 04:26 AM
Good luck Sherry. Whatever happens, you know that this baby is meant to be, and it will be loved by you all and give you all great happiness. :Hug2:

bluntforcetrauma
03-27-2008, 04:54 AM
Sherry;
I'm seething with jealousy. We have seven children. These days it seems a crime to want to have kids. Prayer sent up.

Rick

Silver King
03-27-2008, 06:11 AM
The title was changed. Does that work? If not, we can work on it some more. :)

Haggis
03-27-2008, 06:19 AM
HUGZ

Soccer Mom
03-27-2008, 06:24 AM
It sounds like God knew which hands to place this little angel in. The child will be loved for who he is and that is a blessing to you both. You will be in my prayers.

Jean Marie
03-27-2008, 06:38 AM
Good luck, Sherry!

RLB
03-27-2008, 06:40 AM
Prayers for you and yours.

Mom'sWrite
03-27-2008, 07:06 AM
I'm sending out the vibe for you, your husband, your baby and your baseball team. Thumbs up for the person who mentioned the false positive rate. It's so true. With my last baby (who just turned seven yesterday) they told me I tested positive for syphilis. Syphilis? OK, yeah, right.

JennaGlatzer
03-27-2008, 07:15 AM
This also means you have a 4 in 5 chance of NOT having a baby with DS-- BUT I am here to assure you that I know tons of parents of kids with DS and every one of them says the same thing... they are the luckiest people on earth. I'm sure you've heard me blather on before, but my brother is my favorite person anywhere, anytime. He's hilarious, warm, never has a bad word to say about anyone, has a job he loves, is happy and healthy, and none of us can imagine life without him. (Oh, and no one can get Sarina to smile like Uncle Paul can.) It only sounds scary. A resource in advance, just in case: http://www.unomas21.com/

And CONGRATULATIONS!!

JustJess
03-27-2008, 07:15 AM
I've known many people who've had false positives with the AFP/triple-quad screen. I wish you good luck with the amnio-and hope you have a definitive answer soon. You'll be in my thoughts (And yay for big families! THough you'll have me beat by 4)

kellytijer
03-27-2008, 07:22 AM
Sherry, a prayer from me to God for you. Whatever He wills, you know, will be right.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

My niece has Down Syndrome. She is wonderful. Very sweet and loving, and very fun. Out of five kids I had to take care of for a week this summer while my brother was in town for a pastor's conference, she was by far the easiest. Happy in every situation, saw the good in everything, quite refreshing, actually. :)

Once in a while, when the rest of the kids were going nuts, she and I would lock eyes with each other and just start laughing. She actually forced me to stop and consider what was really important from time to time. Like laughing, or taking a few minutes to ponder a flower or a cloud.

Judg
03-27-2008, 07:23 AM
Nine? Wow... When I think of all the people who looked at me funny for running around with five. The one who took the cake was the one who admired the fifth baby and then declared, "But that will be your last, of course." Or words to that effect. I was never more tempted to have a sixth...

Please keep in mind that the odds are still heavily in favour of a normal child. Hope that helps a bit.

But I will be praying that you find peace in this situation.

Mel
03-27-2008, 07:29 AM
A ton of good vibes flying your way, Sherry.

Jersey Chick
03-27-2008, 07:39 AM
9 kids - wow - God love you. I have trouble keeping my sanity with two.

Seriously, though, keeping you in my thoughts and sending a lot of good vibes your way that all goes as you want it.

JoNightshade
03-27-2008, 07:40 AM
Sherry, I'll be praying for you and your family.

Like others have said, people with DS are some of the most wonderful, sincere, joyful people you've ever met. Not to stereotype, but has anyone ever met an UNLIKEABLE person with DS? I don't think they exist. :) And with 8 other kids, the major worry of most DS parents is eliminated - you know that there will always be someone to keep an eye out for him/her even after you and your husband are gone.

And if your kid is "normal," hey, that's okay too. ;)

By the way, this is only slightly relevant, but I just finished reading The Man Who Mistook His Wife for A Hat. It's a classic of neurology, and most of the stories are about bizarre brain disorders, but there is one chapter entitled "Rebecca" that is just beautiful. The author, a doctor, basically recounts his experience in discovering that a mentally retarded young woman is not "broken" or "damaged," as he first saw her. As he gets to know her, he realizes he had only been looking at the parts of her that didn't measure up to his "standards," which were arbitrary anyway. But when he really got to know her, he realized that in a moral sense, she is absolutely complete and whole. She can't put on a pair of gloves herself, but she has a gift for poetry and metaphor, and an appreciation for beauty that opens his eyes to the world.

Incidentally, I'm tempted to ask how the heck you have time to post here on AW with 8 kids and one in the oven, but I knew a family with 10 kids when I was growing up. I saw how they all helped one another so that the parents were not overly stressed out, and it was a truly beautiful family dynamic. Not one of those kids was a "bad seed." Incidentally, the youngest had DS.

johnnysannie
03-27-2008, 03:47 PM
I know AW has one, but after scrolling through 9 pages trying to find it, I'm just asking here.

We are expecting our 9th child.

The tests they do on someone with AMA (advanced maternal age...i.e. over 40) indicate a more than one in five chance that this baby has Downs Syndrome.

We are keeping this child regardless. We are getting the tests to know for certain. The ambivalence I find far more disquieting than not knowing. The test is on Friday, we'll find out next week.

Right now, it's just hard.
Thanks for listening.

Sherry

You have my prayers and understanding. I have been where you are at right now. My last child was born when I was 39 and I was tortured for most of the pregnancy by two OB/GYN doctors who quoted all the stats and told me everything that could possibly go wrong because of my age. Downs was something they held over my head like a whip.

In fact, on my first OB/GYN visit, the doctor actually offered to abort because of all the "risks" and things that could be wrong with the baby.

Like you, however, I told him that we wanted the child and would love the child no matter what.

I spent most of my pregnancy in prayer; thankfully my son was born absolutely normal and healthy. And the tests done while I was pregnant all turned up nothing but the docs still picked at me and predicted the most dire outcomes.

You will be in my thoughts and in my prayers!

nerds
03-27-2008, 07:03 PM
I'm not a per se praying sort but I send you all the best wishes, hopes, karma, label-of-your-choice, for what it's worth. I was a later-in-life baby in 1957, which wasn't a wonderful time for that in terms of pre-natal care/knowledge/testing and so forth. My mother was 41, I was her seventh pregnancy, turned out fine but I know it was scary for my parents since no one knew how you'd be till you popped out. It's a vastly different and better world today for these babies. All the best to you and this new life.

:Hug2:

quickWit
03-27-2008, 07:08 PM
Thinkin' of ya. Best of luck.

Peace :)

reigningcatsndogs
03-27-2008, 09:26 PM
The Brady's had six, the Walton's had seven, the Bradford's had eight...

You are already in a class by yourself! I am in awe of you, Sherry. You're baby will be fine, because s/he is already beating the odds by coming into a home filled to the brim with love, but with always room for one more. All of you are already blessed.

As a parent of a 'special needs' child (I hate that expression, and would much prefer it to be simply 'special' or 'child') I can tell you that it is a privilege saved for special people. It is a chance to see the world through crystal clear lenses, to witness unconditional love and appreciation, to experience an acceptance and desire for only the most simple of things life has to offer, many of those things overlooked by the rest of the world. It is life perspective at its best, and always when we need it most. When we first heard our son's diagnosis, it was earth shattering for us, because our child would never be 'normal'. Thank God he is not. Thank God we have 'not normal' children because they are the original 'outside-the-box' thinkers and have so much to contribute to society. My aunt, who had lived a particularly hard life, gave me the words to get through all of those troubles and hard moments so I could see what was important. "God never gives us more than we can handle, and he gives very special babies to special people who deserve to see all the wonders and beauty that the world has to offer".

You and your family are in my prayers. :Hug2:

Siddow
03-27-2008, 09:37 PM
Congrats on the newbie, Sherry! That little baby couldn't ask for a better mum, and if there are challenges coming to both of you, I'm sure that together, you'll do just fine.

JeanneTGC
03-28-2008, 09:16 AM
Prayers, hugs, and good wishes. The baby will be yours, so the baby will be Wonder Baby #9, no matter what, and that's what matters.

zeppelin123
03-28-2008, 09:36 AM
My sister in law's younger sister has Down Syndrome. She is 21 and works at a clothing store run by people with disabilities. She is a happy and outgoing young adult with a very distinctive personality. She's a wonderful addition to our family. She's in the picture here as a bride's maid at my brother's wedding.

http://bp3.blogger.com/_48184kmix2E/Rq5LPSFOkqI/AAAAAAAAAIc/I1pFn7BYVQ0/s1600-h/families.JPG

I am praying for you and your baby.

aruna
03-28-2008, 10:11 AM
I was 40 when I had my daughter and I never even bothered to get the tests done. I knew I wouldn't abort no matter what. She doesn't have DS and is a jewel of a human being.

My aunt had her fourth child when she was over 50! She had had the three others when she was in her 20s so you can imagine the gap. That girl was fine, she grew up to be the most successful of all four kids. She worked as an intern for Bill Clinton and is right now on Hillary's campaign. She has done all kinds of activist work in Africa.

Your baby will have a wonderful loving mom and no matter what you will be happy with her/him; may you be blessed!

myscribe
03-31-2008, 09:35 AM
*hugs* Sherry

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Cranky
03-31-2008, 09:43 AM
You have my prayers, my envy (9 children? I'm a piker, truly), and my admiration.

Pat~
03-31-2008, 10:10 AM
Sherry, you have my prayers (and my admiration--9 kids!) It sounds like Baby#9 is going to be born into a family with lots of love here...and I'm sure that regardless of the outcome, s/he'll have lots of love to offer back. Best wishes for stable pregnancy, and we'll keep praying.