View Full Version : Hi, all

03-30-2005, 01:40 AM
I kinda feel down today. Anyone have any fun jokes that could give me a chuckle and others. Thanks much. Hope you're all doing well.

Warm regards, Susie

03-30-2005, 02:21 AM
Hmmm, I'm lousy at remembering jokes, Sus, but how 'bout I send some good cheerful thoughts your way? The sun's shining, it was a gorgeous day, and spring is here! Not too shabby, huh? :D

03-30-2005, 02:50 AM
Most appreciated, Bard. Yep, it sure is a gorgeous day (Thanks much for reminding me), and I do feel better some, thanks to you and some others here. Everyone is super! Hope your day is great and much good luck with your writing.

Warm regards, Susie:)

03-30-2005, 03:46 AM
Always have a copy of Richard Lederer's Aguished English on hand when you need cheering up. It's comforting to see what other writers (journalists, anyway) have perpetrated. Here are a few samples:


Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast
Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Hitler, Nazi Papers Found in Attic

Signs in English in foreign hotels and stores:

Please to bathe inside the tub.
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

From Church Bulletins:

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
(Following the minister's recovery from illness): God is Good! Dr. Smith is better!

And this news item:

The attorney general's office said yesterday that an autopsy performed on the headless body of a man found in Madison failed to determine the cause of death.

Hope you feel better.

03-30-2005, 04:31 AM
We can't be happy all the time, can we? I don't know any jokes off the top of my head, but here are a couple of inspirational quotes...

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time. - Francis de Sales

I know things are tough right now, but just remember, every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a whole lot of dirt to get there! - Barbara Johnson

Hang in there, Susie. :)

03-30-2005, 05:17 AM
Thanks so much for the great posts and funny signs, etc. Most appreciated. I did get a good chuckle and that's really nice of both of you. Hope you're doing well!

Warm regards, Susie:)

03-30-2005, 06:05 PM
Alas, no jokes at the moment (unless you want to look at my latest rejection from a publisher; that was actually pretty funny). But I'm passing you a box of virtual chocolate. No calories/fat/carbs, but high on taste!

And look: an emoticon will actually work off the non-existent calories anyway, so no guilt, either:


Why does the emoticon work so hard? Easy:


Hang in there, Susie! Today will be a better day.

03-30-2005, 09:25 PM
Thanks so much! You hit the nail on the head with the chocolate and no calories. Whohoo! I'm definitely a chocoholic and having those made me feel lots better. Hope you're doing well too. Most appreciated. What's your favorite food vice?

Warm regards, Susie:)

03-30-2005, 10:45 PM
Did someone say chocolate?? :heart: :heart:

03-30-2005, 11:05 PM
Thanks so much! You hit the nail on the head with the chocolate and no calories. Whohoo! I'm definitely a chocoholic and having those made me feel lots better. Hope you're doing well too. Most appreciated. What's your favorite food vice?

Warm regards, Susie:)
Mine? Chocolate. (Heya, Kit Kat -- love the handle and the tag line!) As far as I'm concerned it should be a food group unto itself.

Popcorn, too. :popcorn:

Glad you're having a better day!

04-04-2005, 03:06 AM
Hi, guys, thanks much for the nice posts. I'll always say chocolate, KitKat and Popcorn too, Dragonjax. Yummmmmmmm-E!

warm regards, susie:)

04-04-2005, 10:06 AM
Chocolate and popcorn are yummy together. I'm weird like that, I guess.

Here's a joke that always makes me smile. It didn't have a title when I read it in a newsletter but I call it "Friday Night at the Asylum":

One evening, a man cried out from his cell in the asylum, "I am Napolean!"
Another man from the next cell asked, "Who told you you are Napolean?"
The man answered, "God told me."
Then another man cried out from his cell, "I did not!"

Cheer up, Susie. Here's a hug! :Hug2:

aka eraser
04-04-2005, 08:02 PM
Looks like it's time once again for.....The Numa-Numa Dance! (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373)

Click on "Watch This Movie," and then select "play without subtitles" (my fave).

It's a never-fail picker-upper for me. :)

04-04-2005, 09:58 PM
OMG..... ROFLMAO!!!!!!! :ROFL: :roll: Frank, that was HILARIOUS!!!! Does that guy work in a cubicle?? Thanks for sharing it. I laughed so hard.

04-06-2005, 01:59 PM
"Dragostea Din Tei" I absolutely love it (and it's Romanian too:snoopy: )

Thanks Aka-eraser for it! You've made my day!:)

aka eraser
04-06-2005, 07:55 PM
You're welcome Pencilone. It makes mine too. :)

05-18-2005, 08:04 AM
Hi, guys, Thanks so much everyone for making me smile. It's most appreciated. Sorry it took me awhile to thank you, but I haven't been on here very much. Hope everyone is well and getting lots of writing acceptances.

Hugs, Susie:)

Liam Jackson
05-18-2005, 10:19 PM
The Numa-Numa guy was an eighteen year old stock clerk at a local supermarket when he sent that little jewel out over the net to some friends.(Little over a year ago.) One of his pals posted the "dance" on a gag website. The dance recently had its 1,000,000 hit. ABC's Good Morning America had the poor kid on the program a few months ago. He appeared embarrassed as hell over the attention. :)

I'm waiting for him to do a cover of Ina Godda da Vida :Thumbs:

05-18-2005, 10:33 PM
I predict he'll be a spokesperson on the Jimmy Kimmel show soon (Kimmel hired the "Superman is gay" kid from a few years back).