From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
This year, the Easter Bunny is being replaced by the Easter Frog. Hey, they both hop! Frankly, the old Hare is way past retirement age so we've hired one of the Bud frogs to take over for you. A little white fur suit, long fake pink ears and a cotton ball on his ass...he'll pass, no problem.
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We're having a slight problem with the Easter Frog. Given that his mode of perambulation is based on four feet rather than just two and is much closer to the ground with a higher impact evaluation, all the eggs he's carrying tend to crack and break. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
Make the eggs unbreakable.
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We have done a trial hop of styrofoam eggs but they were deemed ecologically unsound considering they have the decay rate and half-life of uranium 232. We then proposed eggs made from wood but the "Save the Trees" contingent scratched that idea, picketing and threatening to make a bonfire around our industrial plant and setting fire to it. (Wouldn't that involve using wood?) The research and development department proposed diamonds but the cost would be prohibitive and they are difficult to paint. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
How about iron?
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We were able to mass-produce millions of iron Easter eggs in a variety of colors using production methods from the Big Four auto manufacturers. We filled a basket for our Easter Frog and sent him on his way. Unfortunately he met with an industrial accident on the job before he had hopped an eighth of a mile from the facility. Someone turned on a giant electro-magnet. Our Easter Frog was pulled backwards then flew into the air to be crushed between 253 iron Easter eggs and the base of the magnet. All that's left are little webbed skid marks for about 600 feet and a green stained basket.
We have lowered our company flag to half-mast in recognition of his sacrifice. A memorial service was held in the cafeteria. All the staff attended and a collection was taken up for his widow and tadpoles. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
We're sending over the remaining two Bud frogs. This was a fluke, keep this incident under wraps. Good luck.
To: Fursonifications
This year, the Easter Bunny is being replaced by the Easter Frog. Hey, they both hop! Frankly, the old Hare is way past retirement age so we've hired one of the Bud frogs to take over for you. A little white fur suit, long fake pink ears and a cotton ball on his ass...he'll pass, no problem.
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We're having a slight problem with the Easter Frog. Given that his mode of perambulation is based on four feet rather than just two and is much closer to the ground with a higher impact evaluation, all the eggs he's carrying tend to crack and break. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
Make the eggs unbreakable.
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We have done a trial hop of styrofoam eggs but they were deemed ecologically unsound considering they have the decay rate and half-life of uranium 232. We then proposed eggs made from wood but the "Save the Trees" contingent scratched that idea, picketing and threatening to make a bonfire around our industrial plant and setting fire to it. (Wouldn't that involve using wood?) The research and development department proposed diamonds but the cost would be prohibitive and they are difficult to paint. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
How about iron?
From: Fursonifications
To: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
We were able to mass-produce millions of iron Easter eggs in a variety of colors using production methods from the Big Four auto manufacturers. We filled a basket for our Easter Frog and sent him on his way. Unfortunately he met with an industrial accident on the job before he had hopped an eighth of a mile from the facility. Someone turned on a giant electro-magnet. Our Easter Frog was pulled backwards then flew into the air to be crushed between 253 iron Easter eggs and the base of the magnet. All that's left are little webbed skid marks for about 600 feet and a green stained basket.
We have lowered our company flag to half-mast in recognition of his sacrifice. A memorial service was held in the cafeteria. All the staff attended and a collection was taken up for his widow and tadpoles. Please advise.
From: The Office of Holiday Mgmt. Inc.
To: Fursonifications
We're sending over the remaining two Bud frogs. This was a fluke, keep this incident under wraps. Good luck.
Loved it
