In this thread we will list the ways your characters can say something...

James81 · Mar 18, 2008

This is one of my biggest challenges.

Finding ways to describe how a character says something.

My extremely limited uses include:

"said", "exclaimed", "retorted", "replied" and "answered"

Here is an example of what I am trying to ask (if you don't quite get what I am asking):

"I'm going to get some take out," Bob said.

I'm looking for more words to describe how Bob "says" something (if that makes sense lol).

Mr Flibble · Mar 18, 2008

Stick with said, unless they raise their voice, or whisper. It's nice and invisible, and doesn't get in the way.

I'll admit to the occassional 'snapped' though.

saidisms

Marlys · Mar 18, 2008

In general, try to avoid anything besides "said," "asked," or occasionally "whispered." The others generally tell you something that is (or should be) indicated in the dialogue itself: is should be clear the character is answering, retorting, or exclaiming. Overuse of tags like those tends to be taken as the mark of an amateur.

And use dialogue tags only when necessary to indicate who is speaking--three-way conversations might need more tags, for instance. Tags can frequently be avoided by having the character do something instead: Bob stretched and yawned. "I'm going out to get some take out."

Hope this helps.

WildScribe · Mar 18, 2008

It is called a dialog tag, and "said" is really good. If you get too creative, it starts to stick out and impede your reader. Just keep it nice and smooth unless you really need to convey HOW they said it (whisper, shout, sobbed, etc.)

RLB · Mar 18, 2008

Ditto what IdiotRUs said. (ETA: and the others who replied in between)

Use "said" almost always.

Gmz1023 · Mar 18, 2008

You can also leave it blank if its a conversation:
"Hey" said tom
"Sup" replied Jack
"you see that show last night?"
"Which show would that be?"
"you know, the one with the Dog, and the Crazy guy."

^ i do that alot... but not to much... or you could do this:
"Hey" tom said
"Sup" replied Jack
"you see that show last night?" tom reached for a bar stool and sat down next to jack
"Which show would that be?" Jack offered tom a beer, tom declined...
"you know, the one with the Dog, and the Crazy guy."
_
you dont always have to have a label if they talk... you can identify who they are through actions

IceCreamEmpress · Mar 18, 2008

James81 said:
I'm looking for more words to describe how Bob "says" something (if that makes sense lol).

DO NOT DO THIS.

Seriously, fancy dialogue-tagging is one of the worst faults new writers fall into.

You should use "said" most of the time. "Asked", "answered", and "replied" are okay every now and then. "Shouted", "whispered", "hissed" very very very very rarely.

Forget what your high-school teacher said about not using "said". You can use "said" as much as you like.

Calla Lily · Mar 18, 2008

I'm of the school that uses the following:

said

asked

and, in extreme cases:

whispered

That's it. Nothing else.

Here are a few ways I'd tackle your example sentence:

Bob's stomach growled. "I'm going to get some take out."

Bob opened the fridge. "Man, there's nothing in here but OJ and limp celery. I'm getting takeout."

Bob stumbled into the kitchen and put his aching eyes near the microwave clock. Noon. He should never have brought out that extra tray of Jello shooters last night. Empty beer bottles and crusted salsa bowls littered the counter. The trash can overflowed with greasy paper plates. He stepped backwards and tripped over an empty pizza box. He closed his eyes and hit speed dial '2' on his cell phone. Two rings, and a tinny voice said through his now-pounding headache, "Pizza On Wheels."

James81 · Mar 18, 2008

Oh, so it's not considered repetitive and annoying to use said all the time?

James81 · Mar 18, 2008

Or maybe I could just be like James Frey and not use dialogue tags at all.

Marlys · Mar 18, 2008

James81 said:
Oh, so it's not considered repetitive and annoying to use said all the time?

No.

It's considered invisible.

IceCreamEmpress · Mar 18, 2008

James81 said:
Oh, so it's not considered repetitive and annoying to use said all the time?

No.

It's repetitive and annoying to dialogue-tag every time a character speaks, but when you do dialogue-tag, "said" (and "asked", where appropriate) are your go-to verbs.

Stew21 · Mar 18, 2008

I prefer to stick with said. And wherever possible I don't use dialogue tags at all.
If the scene requires more than just dialogue (which I find it often does) I indicate the speaker with action. You'll find that many people will tell you the same thing. Let your characterization, action, and chosen dialogue be the guide to how something was said, and let the dialogue tag appear somewhat invisible with a "said". If your characterization is strong, and your dialogue, action and context are strong, there is no need to tag dialogue for more than just a necessary marker of who is speaking. Exposition of the scene is a good place to go for attributing dialogue and providing context as well.

davids · Mar 18, 2008

"I am going to go get something to eat."
"Why Bob, don't we have enough in the house?"

James81 · Mar 18, 2008

Marlys said:
No.

It's considered invisible.

Oh, then cool.

This is one of things that annoyed me the most (trying to find different ways to say something). So it's nice to know that I don't have to particularly worry about it now.

Pup · Mar 18, 2008

For the sake of amusement and completeness, somebody's got to mention Tom Swifties in a thread like this, though.

Claudia Gray · Mar 18, 2008

I'm not going to say you can NEVER use "snapped," "shouted," "retorted," etc. But you shouldn't be deploying those words to "vary up" using said, which should always be the default. You can use a different verb when you really want to emphasize that action, and the dialogue in itself won't do that for you. But you should use the alternatives to said very sparingly.

Stew21 · Mar 18, 2008

ClaudiaGray said:
I'm not going to say you can NEVER use "snapped," "shouted," "retorted," etc. But you shouldn't be deploying those words to "vary up" using said, which should always be the default. You can use a different verb when you really want to emphasize that action, and the dialogue in itself won't do that for you. But you should use the alternatives to said very sparingly.

definitely. Sometimes, especially if the words don't match the tone, a modifier or more specific verb needs to be used. Sparingly is the key.

DeadlyAccurate · Mar 18, 2008

callalily61 said:
I'm of the school that uses the following:

said

asked

and, in extreme cases:

whispered

I don't even used "asked" for a question most of the time any more. I just use "said". I'm not against the occasional saidism, though.

"What?" she said.

"What?" she snapped.

I try to do it only when the sentence itself is normally taken another, default way, or when it can't be made clear by the action.

ReneC · Mar 18, 2008

I used to use saidism a lot and have only recently discovered that it's better not to have them. They still tend to creep into my writing but I'm trying to avoid it. Like DeadlyAccurate, I still like to use them when the sentence could be spoken in multiple ways.

If you're worried about using "said" too much, you might be worried about using a character's name too much. Don't be. Names are identifiers, they let the reader know who is speaking or doing something. They are also pretty invisible. Don't try to add variety by using the character's first name, last name, rank, or nickname. Outside of dialogue, you really only need one name and don't be afraid to use it a lot.

maestrowork · Mar 18, 2008

"Saidism" is one of the worst things school teachers may do when teaching students how to write. The whole notion that "'said' is repetitive and boring, so it's better to substitute it..." is ill-advised. "Said" is supposed to be transparent/invisible. In fact, if you can avoid any tag at all, do so -- let the dialogue come out and shine. The only time when you should use something else is when the way the character speaks can't be apparent: "whispered," "mumbled," etc. through the dialogue, action, and context alone.

jst5150 · Mar 18, 2008

'Said' is ubiquitous and always will be. I've read or heard at least a dozen smart schools of thought that agree. If you're focused too much on said, you're not focusing enough on the other things.

Unless you're writing "Alice in Wonderland" or something as drug induced as that ("On the Road" or "Da Vinci Code" -- just kidding, Dan-O!)

Then, feel free to use "liverwurst" as a form of said. All rules off.

The moment I see something like 'he smiled' or 'he blorted' as a form of saying said, I calmly hold the book in front of me and set it alight with a ~~Bic~~ Zippo.

maestrowork · Mar 18, 2008

"I agree," Ray nodded and smiled.

sheadakota · Mar 18, 2008

yup- what they said (No pun intended

) I try to avoid tags altogether when I can by using what the character is doing instead, but when I have no other choice its always said or asked.

KikiteNeko · Mar 18, 2008

I personally like a good old fashioned "said." You could do this many ways:

"I don't know," Liza said
Liza said, "I don't know"
"I throw rocks at homeless people," said Liza.

I use the above in my writing, and prefer it in my reading. "Tommy's stupid!" Liza shouted and "Is Tommy stupid?" Liza asked are a bit redundant, wouldn't you say? Reading narrative that reiterates the punctuation makes me feel like the author thinks I'm too stupid to understand what's going on.

Now on the OTHER hand, you could separate the action from the speech or blend it in. For example:

Liza screamed. "Tommy has gingivitis!" she said, and screamed again.

or,

Liza found it so ridiculous that she had to ask, "Tommy, did you eat stupid flakes for breakfast?"

I'd accept the latter two.

In this thread we will list the ways your characters can say something...

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