How Do YOU Do It??

KrishnaJewel · Mar 14, 2008

We all have hopes and dreams of what we would like to acheive, of what and where we would like to see ourselves and our writing...but how do you get past your fears and step off the 'spectators platform' and onto that speeding train that carries us to success; that train that may either take you along for the ride, or throw you off and run you down and leave you scattered across the tracks!?

I will openly admit I have a fear of failure...and this fear often prevents me from stepping off the platform, rather I stand and watch the trains rush past and carry others to success.

So far, I have had success in the areas I have had the courage to venture into...but when it comes to stepping to the trains that I really want to ride....I usually remain frozen to the platform as I expect to be run down if I make a move.

Recetly, I submitted my first MS...although I complete this MS about a year ago...it has taken me this long to build up the courage to submit it and I only submitted it because I promised my guy I would...so I took the risk of being scattered across the tracks rather than disappoint him. However, this is not my only ms, I have several ms and short stories that I am sitting on, but no courage to send them!

I would love to submit these and see at least a few published - so I guess at this point my goal would be to be able to have the courage to submit them...to reach for the brass ring...and face the rejection (i.e. failure!)

Yet, my fears hold me back.

How do you do this?? How do you overcome the fears of rejection and failure?

Craig Gosse · Mar 14, 2008

Well, if you go ahead and submit, it may, (or even probably, sometimes) won't get accepted. However, I can *guarantee* you that if you DON'T submit, it'll never be accepted.

(Though, with my luck, there will now be a rash of unexplained burglaries, in which editors break into people's houses to steal and publish their manuscripts...)

C. Gosse

Mr Flibble · Mar 14, 2008

KrishnaJewel said:
How do you do this?? How do you overcome the fears of rejection and failure?

You have two choices.

Submit, and risk rejection, but also risk success.
Don't submit, and make sure you will never be published.

That's the only way I managed to get the courage up - the knowledge that if I didn't I would never realise my dream of being published.

So, take a deep breath, submit, and if it comes back rejected, tell yourself that they will kick themselves when you turn out to be the next [insert bestselling author of your choice]

:Hug2:

DWSTXS · Mar 14, 2008

I raced motorcycles professionally for a couple years, and the same question always came up... "How do you know how fast you can really go?"

The answer of course, is" You don't know until you fall off"

Everytime you fall, you learn. Eventually, you go as fast, or faster than anyone else without falling off, and you win the race.

Siddow · Mar 14, 2008

However, I can *guarantee* you that if you DON'T submit, it'll never be accepted.

Something along this line of thought pushed me off the platform when I was but a wee lass. (okay, I was 35, but, um, shut up.

)

The actual thing said to me was, "It's only a definite No if you don't submit." I'll remember that forever.

I have many more rejections than acceptances, but I can say, that first acceptance shocked me. And I submitted on a fluke, a dare of sorts. Good times. Get yours!

Calla Lily · Mar 14, 2008

Any time things get scary or depressing, or when I feel like a failure and/or think my life and/or writing sucks, I have an infallible mantra:

I could still be in the convent.

I realize this only works for me.

But every day I wake up and I'm not a bitter, angry, frustrated woman old before my time, living with 95 other bitter, angry, old-before-their-time women is a very good day.

Puts everything in perspective.

Think of it this way: You control your attitude toward writing and submitting. If it's worth the risk of temporary failure--because you will get rejections (I got lots, and still get them, just filteres through my agent now)--then you'll take a deep breath and send your work out there.

Of course, chocolate and a good crit group are essential.

Craig Gosse · Mar 14, 2008

callalily61 said:
But every day I wake up and I'm not a bitter, angry, frustrated woman...

Personally, I'm of the opinion that any day I wake up is a good one...

(*Grin*)

Appalachian Writer · Mar 14, 2008

I write. Why? Because for some strange reason, I feel words and stories and poems form in my mind. I consider myself, therefore, a writer, but I've always asked the question, "Are you a writer if no one reads your work?" Some say, "Yes," and some say, "No." In order to claim writing as one of my professions, I feel the need to submit. Admittedly, it took me a long time to convince myself to actually get on, what you call, the train. So far, I've had some brutal unscheduled stops, and I've had some hopeful turns. The hopeful turns keep me going. Without getting on that train, all my hopes would be piled high in some closet, gathering dust. I'd rather endure those painful unscheduled stops than find myself dusting off all hope.

xiaotien · Mar 14, 2008

go balls out. that's what i say.
your writing deserves it, and you deserve
it for slaving over the muse and the prose.

i just got kicked in the head by a rejection
from my "dream agent" on a partial. not to mention
all the other rejections i've gotten in the six
weeks since i've begun querying.

but in the end, even if i get 95 rejections or
non responses, i tried. if i never tried, i wouldn't
be able to forgive myself that.

rejection SUCKS! but not knowing if you
can do it is worse.

KrishnaJewel · Mar 16, 2008

DWSTXS said:
I raced motorcycles professionally for a couple years, and the same question always came up... "How do you know how fast you can really go?"

The answer of course, is" You don't know until you fall off"

Everytime you fall, you learn. Eventually, you go as fast, or faster than anyone else without falling off, and you win the race.

Thanks Doyle -- as a biker, I totally relate to this...

(btw, Doyle Sinclair, wow! what a very Irish/Scots name!

)

callalily61 said:
Any time things get scary or depressing, or when I feel like a failure and/or think my life and/or writing sucks, I have an infallible mantra:

I could still be in the convent.

I realize this only works for me. But every day I wake up and I'm not a bitter, angry, frustrated woman old before my time, living with 95 other bitter, angry, old-before-their-time women is a very good day.

Puts everything in perspective.

Think of it this way: You control your attitude toward writing and submitting. If it's worth the risk of temporary failure--because you will get rejections (I got lots, and still get them, just filteres through my agent now)--then you'll take a deep breath and send your work out there.

Of course, chocolate and a good crit group are essential.

LOL! Well, yeah, that IS a good day! And youre right about controlling ones attitude...thats the har part...I have had a fear of failure for as long as I can remember...

Siddow said:
Something along this line of thought pushed me off the platform when I was but a wee lass. (okay, I was 35, but, um, shut up. )

The actual thing said to me was, "It's only a definite No if you don't submit." I'll remember that forever.

You are right...but fear says...you avoid the NO by not submitting...
:Shrug:

Appalachian Writer, your sig made me stop and think. So often it doesnt occure to me that famous authors were ever rejected - and repeatedly! When I read your line about Gone With The Wind, I had to investigate! I found that Mitchell was rejected repeatedly, and I found this on a published authors blog site:

Famous rejection stories: C.S. Lewis, over 800 before a sale. Ray Bradbury, also around 800. GONE WITH THE WIND, rejected by more than 20 publishers. Jerzy Kozinski's THE PAINTED BIRD, rejected three times by the same publisher, one of those times AFTER that same publisher had accepted it. A high school basketball coach once cut Michael Jordan. Bet that coach is in the Hall of Fame, don't you?

Stephen King almost made a multi-million dollar mistake when he threw his CARRIE manuscript in the garbage because he was tired of the rejections. Luckily, his wife fished it out. An editor once told Nabakov that his LOLITA manuscript should be "buried under a large stone." Now that editor is buried under a stone and LOLITA still titillates readers around the world. An editor once told F. Scott Fitzgerald, "You'd have a decent book if you'd get rid of that Gatsby character."
Editors, agents, and publishers tell writers to go away. You don't go away. It's that simple.

And I suppose it IS that simple!

xiaotien said:
go balls out. that's what i say.
your writing deserves it, and you deserve
it for slaving over the muse and the prose.

i just got kicked in the head by a rejection
from my "dream agent" on a partial. not to mention
all the other rejections i've gotten in the six
weeks since i've begun querying.

but in the end, even if i get 95 rejections or
non responses, i tried. if i never tried, i wouldn't
be able to forgive myself that.

rejection SUCKS! but not knowing if you
can do it is worse.

I currently do write, I write for a mag, as well as a few websites...and as I said, so far I have not drown in the pools I have stuck my toe in...so in one regard I know I can....but its wading in to the deeper ends that I fear....

Craig Gosse said:
Well, if you go ahead and submit, it may, (or even probably, sometimes) won't get accepted. However, I can *guarantee* you that if you DON'T submit, it'll never be accepted.

(Though, with my luck, there will now be a rash of unexplained burglaries, in which editors break into people's houses to steal and publish their manuscripts...)

C. Gosse

This is the one re-occuring theme...if you dont submit....

And as the writer said...you dont go away...that simple!

Thank you all so much! :Hug2:

Shweta · Mar 16, 2008

Hang in there, Krishna! Submitting is scary, and I know exactly what you mean, but we have an entire forum dedicated to the rejections, where we keep one another afloat and talk one another into submitting yet again

Craig Gosse said:
Personally, I'm of the opinion that any day I wake up is a good one...

Bet you'd be surprised, though, if you woke up and you were a bitter, angry, frustrated woman old before your time!

StoryG27 · Mar 16, 2008

You just submit. Most likely, you will get rejected somewhere along the way, but that's not failure, it's just paying your dues. If and when you get that first rejection, pour yourself a glass of wine and celebrate, knowing your on your way, your on your train and that first stop just wasn't right for you but your along for the ride and now at least you have started your journey.

KikiteNeko · Mar 16, 2008

I look at all the hard work that went into my first ms, and I'm honestly not sure how I did it. But here's what I think:

I wrote this manuscript with the intention of publishing it. I paid close attention to books in my genre. I did my best to boomerang the plot (iow, I made sure every detail introduced in the beginning came to be important later). I made the characters as human as possible. I did NOT look into publishing, querying, synopsis writing or support groups such as this wonderful site until I was done!!

Had I known it would be this hard, had I known there were so many rejection stories, I might have lost my will to try much earlier on. Instead I worried for my story, but I worried more about finishing it and being happy with it for myself. I knew seeking publication would be a whole new avenue of fears, so I took it one phase at a time.

Now, of course, I see how hard it is, and it's affected my ability to write a second WIP. So I'm doing my best to get my first manuscript published. Once I've done that, assuming I can, I'll feel confident enough to do anything.

KrishnaJewel · Mar 16, 2008

storygirl said:
You just submit. Most likely, you will get rejected somewhere along the way, but that's not failure, it's just paying your dues. If and when you get that first rejection, pour yourself a glass of wine and celebrate, knowing your on your way, your on your train and that first stop just wasn't right for you but your along for the ride and now at least you have started your journey.

Well, I sent off my first childrens picture book ms recently (a first for me - 1) I actually sent something 2) it was in the childrens genre). I really thought I would have a melt down when the first rejection came...but I didnt, it wasnt the cold 'thanks but no thanks' I expected. Rather I got a 'thank you very much for your submission, while it is a charming story unfortunately it doesnt meet our current publishing needs. We do hope you do find a publisher as this is a charming story.'

Perhaps I didnt melt down because it wasnt a fully negative response...

I have had two rejections..and both have been somewhat possitive...charming story...good voice....but doesnt meet our current needs....

I dont know if this is standard rejection...if it is...ok fine, thats nice.

Lets see what the next rejection brings...

Saundra Julian · Mar 16, 2008

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

JamieThornton · Mar 16, 2008

tomothecat said:
Had I known it would be this hard, had I known there were so many rejection stories, I might have lost my will to try much earlier on. Instead I worried for my story, but I worried more about finishing it and being happy with it for myself. I knew seeking publication would be a whole new avenue of fears, so I took it one phase at a time. Now, of course, I see how hard it is, and it's affected my ability to write a second WIP.

I'm in a similar position. I wrote my first novel and queried it with confidence. I actually received a pretty good amount of requests for partials and a couple of fulls, but everyone said no in the end and I realized that, like most first novel's, it was for practice and not something to be published.

Now I'm done with my second novel, but I've lost a bit of confidence in my query writing ability for this second time around. I may get down about it for a few weeks, but I come around to what a few people have already mentioned - if I don't submit then there's no chance of getting published.

KrishnaJewel · Apr 12, 2008

Well, I have had a hand full of rejections so far...and a few low moments as a result. Most are saying they enjoyed reading the MS, but cant publish for one reason or another.

So far four things have kept me going and given me the ability to keep submitting:

The knowledge that famous authors have experienced the same thing I am going through now...and eventually they found success.

The knowledge that it just takes one person to like my work for me to find this same success, its just a matter of finding that person.

The fact that I have received several positive rejections for both the book and some short stories I have written stating that although they wont be publishing THIS piece, they like my work and would like to see more.

And lastly...but by no means least..the support and encouragement I get from My Darling...as I said to him just the other day...if I have him and his support, I can face anything and carry on.

So, I will keep submitting and reminding myself of these four points...

jamiehall · Apr 12, 2008

KrishnaJewel said:
Yet, my fears hold me back.

How do you do this?? How do you overcome the fears of rejection and failure?

Publicize specific deadlines on AW, so you know you'll get embarrassed if you don't submit your material to agents/publishers.

It worked for me, I started querying again after a long hiatus (see thread in my signature for details).

icerose · Apr 12, 2008

My Grandmother had over a dozen well thought out children's stories that she would tell her kids and her grandkids. She would say someday she would write them down and submit them. Someday she would write them down and share them.

She died shortly after her 50th birthday from brain cancer and all of her stories were lost. My dad was going to be a vet but he dropped out of school with the idea that "someday" he would go back and follow his dreams.

Well, most of the time "someday" doesn't come. I've seen it several times in my own family. If you don't do it now, someday just might never come around. I made a promise to myself when I was about twelve, the year my Grandmother died, that I would never rely on "someday" to come around, that if I wanted to do something, I'd grab on with both hands and go for it.

And well, there you have it.

Judg · Apr 12, 2008

I think of all the rejections that most famous authors got before somebody accepted their work. So I figure rejection is just a normal part of the process and I should expect a whole stack of them before the acceptance comes. Then it's not so scary. Just part of the process, like skinning your knees was a part of learning to ride a bike. Nobody dies from skinned knees.

Read a bunch of agent blogs. When you start understanding how their mind works, you realize that a rejection is not a big deal either. PM me if you'd like a blog or two to start with.

JoNightshade · Apr 12, 2008

KrishnaJewel said:
but how do you get past your fears and step off the 'spectators platform' and onto that speeding train that carries us to success; that train that may either take you along for the ride, or throw you off and run you down and leave you scattered across the tracks!?

There's a SPEEDING TRAIN to success?

CRAP! Why am I on the buckboard?

astonwest · Apr 12, 2008

It's not all the rejections you have to worry about...

It's all the rejections and then coming to AW and hearing about everyone else's successes...that's the tough part.

CDarklock · Apr 12, 2008

KrishnaJewel said:
How do you do this?? How do you overcome the fears of rejection and failure?

You don't.

Courage is not being free of fear. It's feeling the fear, and doing what has to be done anyway.

There's a point in the first X-Men movie when Rogue asks Wolverine about his claws: "Does it hurt? When they come out?"

"Every time," he responds.

Same thing. Does it hurt when the submissions go out? Every time. You know most of them will come back rejections. But you keep on sending them, because that's what you do.

bluntforcetrauma · Apr 12, 2008

Go for it! They can't take away your birthday!

johnrobison · Apr 12, 2008

KrishnaJewel said:
We all have hopes and dreams of what we would like to acheive, of what and where we would like to see ourselves and our writing...but how do you get past your fears and step off the 'spectators platform' and onto that speeding train that carries us to success; that train that may either take you along for the ride, or throw you off and run you down and leave you scattered across the tracks!?
. . .
How do you do this?? How do you overcome the fears of rejection and failure?

Well, it helps to recognize that we do not step onto a speeding train. We take hundreds or even thousands of small steps. Those steps, none of which are individually any big deal, add up to a path to the goal.

Any of us could say, "I'm going to be President!"

However, in the absence of a workable plan - a series of accomplishable steps - that's just talk, an idle dream.

When you make a plan you take the first steps to making it come true.

And so it is with writing, selling, publishing a book.

How Do YOU Do It??

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