New Workshops for Men

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

Summer Classes for Men atTHE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by March 25, 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

JJ Cooper · Mar 13, 2008

Can we send someone else along to take notes and give us the highlights in the half-time footy break?

Come to think of it - my wife is giving some of those presentations.

JJ

Haggis · Mar 13, 2008

I don't understand. Why would any man want to do these things?

Mandy-Jane · Mar 13, 2008

I'm booking my husband in for Class 4.

rhymegirl · Mar 13, 2008

Funny stuff, Kevin.

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

Mandy-Jane said:
I'm booking my husband in for Class 4.

the answer given in class 4 is '3 feet'. It's the difference between dropping and throwing.

JJ Cooper · Mar 13, 2008

To show how committed I am to improving, I'll take whatever class requires the least amount of effort and time - online.

JJ

poetinahat · Mar 13, 2008

Class 12 is held in a secret venue, as it violates the Geneva Convention.

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

poetinahat said:
Class 12 is held in a secret venue, as it violates the Geneva Convention.

I have contentions against conventions.

poetinahat · Mar 13, 2008

Even if you get to wear a Shriner fez?

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

poetinahat said:
Even if you get to wear a Shriner fez?

If the Fez fits, I wear it. But it's a struggle for someone 6' 3" to fit on one of those silly little mini bikes. I prefer a bicycle built for two.

reigningcatsndogs · Mar 13, 2008

I suppose one should start a Novena to Saint Jude for the poor ~~woman~~ saint who has to teach these courses.

brokenfingers · Mar 13, 2008

I took those courses once. What a waste of time.

The subjects were either boring or way over my head. I came away from the whole experience with nothing.

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

It is better to have attempted to learn nothing than to have learned nothing without attempting.

brokenfingers · Mar 13, 2008

Yes, but what about the headache?

KTC · Mar 13, 2008

brokenfingers said:
Yes, but what about the headache?

better to have had a headache than to have ached in the head.

dolores haze · Mar 13, 2008

reigningcatsndogs said:
I suppose one should start a Novena to Saint Jude for the poor ~~woman~~ saint who has to teach these courses.

Hey, Kaytee. If you ever need a sub I'm available. I teach using a cattle prod. Very effective!

reigningcatsndogs · Mar 13, 2008

Leaves thread singing...

To dreeeeam the im poSSible dreeeam.....

poetinahat · Mar 13, 2008

KTC said:
If the Fez fits, I wear it. But it's a struggle for someone 6' 3" to fit on one of those silly little mini bikes. I prefer a bicycle built for two.

Can you ride it no-handed, while twirling an Op-Yop?

(Yes, somebody this side needs a little shut-eye.)

brokenfingers said:
I took those courses once. What a waste of time.

The subjects were either boring or way over my head. I came away from the whole experience with nothing.

Kumbaya, man.

Stew21 · Mar 13, 2008

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1400053625/?tag=absolutewritedm-20

Bravo · Mar 13, 2008

robeiae · Mar 13, 2008

poetinahat said:
Class 12 is held in a secret venue, as it violates the Geneva Convention.

I'm teaching that one, btw.

Everyone that signs up, remember to bring your iPod/MP3 player.

maestrowork · Mar 13, 2008

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Group PRACTICE for TWO hours?

Freaks.

maestrowork · Mar 13, 2008

Stew21 said:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1400053625/?tag=absolutewritedm-20

Why would ANY self-respecting man want to do that?

By the way, mix reds with whites while doing laundry and she will never ask you again.

I should really have workshops on "How to Avoid Housework Without Your Spouse Suspecting Anything."

maestrowork · Mar 13, 2008

robeiae said:
I'm teaching that one, btw.

Everyone that signs up, remember to bring your iPod/MP3 player.

I don't need a class. Just call your best gay friend to come along, then go to a mall with a sports bar. Problem solved.

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