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nerds
03-11-2008, 11:47 PM
. . . windchimes. :D Many of them. Nearly a dozen chiming, clanging windchimes. Lest anyone here who loves windchimes feel upset, I shall add these disclaimers:

1. It is March. March winds and all that. Windy, very very windy. There are the Ides of March. March in general.

2. There were nearly a dozen chimes within a fifty-foot square area.

3. The birds take alternate routes due to noise.

4. Better the chimes than social felonies.


There's an unequaled satisfaction in strangling windchimes. One day you realize the drilling in your head is coming not from jackhammers, annoying relatives, nor pesky phone calls but from chimes. You go out there armed with all your twisties you've saved from loaves of bread. As you walk you are twisting twistie ends into other twistie ends with a fervor worthy of the worst of battles. You notice that the green twisties go well with the yellow.

You twist and you twist, till you have a long-enough twistie that you know you can throttle anything to its demise. Maybe you growl a little. Maybe you think about the Society for the Protection of Windchimes coming after you, but you don't care. Your ears puff out clouds of anticipatory steam.

One by one you corner the chimes. They see you coming and make even more noise, thinking help will come but nooooooo. Some can be tied up and strangled, ooooh, yeah. Some must be removed, taken to a remote area and beaten to death, their last tiny chimings of protest carried away on the very wind which gave them life.


Anyone else ever commit justifiable material object homicide? Phones? Refrigerator compressors? TVs? Man, it Feels Good.

Siddow
03-11-2008, 11:49 PM
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

kellytijer
03-11-2008, 11:50 PM
The alarm siren/box/thing when my ADT malfunctioned. Took a hammer to it.

davids
03-11-2008, 11:51 PM
THE ONLY GOOD CHIME IS A DEAD CHIME-JUST CHIMMING IN HERE!!!

nerds
03-12-2008, 12:17 AM
The alarm siren/box/thing when my ADT malfunctioned. Took a hammer to it.


Excellent.

nerds
03-12-2008, 12:19 AM
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!


:roll:

Susie
03-12-2008, 04:19 AM
Don't tell anyone, Nerds, but I dislike windchimes. Thank you.
:)