Finally! (but totally worth the wait)

All right... here's my official announcement: I have an agent!

But I can't just leave it at that, so... gather 'round, kiddos, and I'll tell you a story.

A long, long time ago, back in November 2003, a girl with absolutely no experience writing fiction decided to write a novel. And yes, I have nanowrimo to blame for this -- I thought, 50,000 words in a month? And they don't even have to be good? I can do that.

And I did it -- I came up with an intriguing idea, some wonderfully quirky characters, and 50,000 words worth of sh*tty, plotless prose. That was the easy part.

I told myself I'd have the whole story expanded and fully polished within six months, a year at the longest. After a year and a half, I thought I had it good enough to publish -- I gave the MS to some friends to read, and they told me (kindly) how very wrong I was. So I worked some more, writing, revising, polishing... Got more friends to read, got better reviews. Finally, in June 2006 -- two and a half years after starting my novel -- I started submitting to agents. And I was so, so sure an agent would snap it up within the week.

Over the course of that summer, I sent out 18 snail queries, including my opening chapters. By fall, I had amassed 13 form rejections, 4 no response, and 1 full request. The one full was rejected soon after.

Round 2! Gave my query a complete overhaul. Dumped nearly my whole first chapter, and replaced it with something entirely different. In February 2007, I sent out 8 equeries, including opening pages. Things started happening... by some strange fluke, I wound up with 2 partial and 5 full requests! That's right, all but one query had a positive response. It was *definitely* happening this time.

And... no. Over the next few months, the rejections trickled in. A couple of forms, but more with comments. I heard the manuscript was too quiet, too violent, too wry and ironic, too distancing, too jokey, and insufficiently self-aware. But I also got some compliments: polished, intriguing premise, fresh, witty, wonderful sense of humor, great voice, perfect comic timing, verve, wit, fast-paced, engaging. I was compared to Nick Hornby and told I was a "natural storyteller." These words kept me going.

One of my rejectors was kind enough to offer fairly specific advice, and invite me to resubmit to her after revisions. I blew her off for a while, angry that no one had so far recognized my genius. Then I got some much-needed humility, and went back to the MS. In September 2007, I started again: I resubmitted to the agent who had asked, and I sent out fresh equeries to 16 more agents. Even though I used the same query and pages, I had significantly less success this time: 5 rejections, 8 no response, 1 partial request, 2 fulls, and another request from the agent who'd seen it before. Soon, the partial turned into a full.

I was less confident this time, but I still felt I had a chance. And then... right around Christmas 2007, the rejections started coming in again. A form, a very very close call, and one agent who felt the manuscript had potential, but fell apart at the end. He invited me to revise and resubmit.

Now I was really angry. I'd been at this submitting game for a year and a half! Why wasn't I getting any love yet? Full of ire and resentment, I rewrote my ending in a stupid, patronizing way, and sent it to him. Then, a month later, I came to my senses and sent him a different ending, more like the original ending, but better -- richer, more involving. When I didn't hear back from him right away, I started querying *yet again*.

Round 4: 5 snail, 3 equery. I had one instant full request of an equery, one rapid snail reject, and still haven't heard back from the others.

Last week, tired of waiting, sick of watching my life slip by, I sent nudges to the three remaining agents who still had my MS. One rejected me, saying the story was too meandering and unfocused. Another rejected me, saying almost the exact same thing. That was it for me -- I'd had enough.

I gave up. I posted a giving up post on AW. I cried. I ate. I drank (too much). I told the publishing world to go screw (in my head). I considered small presses. At last, I abandoned my beloved manuscript, four and half years in the making, and decided to focus on my WIP.

And monday morning. The last agent. The guy who read three different endings. My one last glimmer of hope, that I didn't dare believe in, because it was just too pathetic, too impossible, too much a long shot. Called me up and offered representation.

You know that crap they say about perserverence? Well golly gee, it turns out to be true.

A footnote to that story, which got way too long -- I didn't walk this road completely alone. Over the years, many people -- some who even had connections in the publishing industry -- tried to help me:

A writing teacher (and published author) who had read two chapters of my book gave me an introduction to two agents. One rejected my query, the other rejected my full.

A friend who is a published non-fiction author gave me an agent recc, who insta-rejected me. Then she gave my MS to a friend of hers who worked in film at a major agency. He handed the book off to someone who worked in book-to-film rights. She loved the MS, and promised to help me find an agent, whatever it took (she'd done it before). But after one rejection, she got cold feet and stopped returning my emails.

A friend who worked as an assistant at a major agency told me to send her the MS after I revised it. By the time I was finished (a month later), she'd left the business.

A friend who's getting an MFA in poetry loved my first chapter, and gave the MS to a friend of his who works for a major publishing house. Nothing happened.

A friend who used to work in publishing put in a word for me at her old agency, plus contacted a few friends on my behalf. I got a partial and two fulls out of the deal, but ultimately all rejected.

Finally, an old friend who was looking to start her own agency contacted me, and wanted to read my book. She didn't like it, though she recommended a couple of people who never got back to me.

Do connections help in this business? Yeah, but... not that much. A lot of people helped me get a foot in the door, but my own query had just as good a success rate. Even having major players pulling for you can disintigrate into nothing. And in the end, the agent who took me on was one I found by simply googling.

No worries, Shweta -- I'm sure I'll be back in the coffee house once my submissions get underway. Eep!

and thanks, CasualObserver.

Thank you, thank you, everyone! I still can't quite believe it's finally happening... I keep expecting him to email me and say "uh, no, nevermind, actually".