PDA

View Full Version : How many...light bulb?



reph
03-25-2005, 09:40 AM
Found all over the Web. This version is from bbc.co.uk:

How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Two - one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Does it have to be a light bulb?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many proofreaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many cover artists does it take to change a light bulb?
Why is there...an eggbeater, I think?...sticking out of this light fixture?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Added from another set:]

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q: How many booksellers does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: Only one, and they'll be glad to do it too,
except no one shipped them any.

CACTUSWENDY
03-25-2005, 10:04 AM
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Very good.....lol

sthrnwriter
03-25-2005, 12:45 PM
:ROFL: Those are cool.

Alphabeter
03-25-2005, 01:59 PM
How many PA Stooges does it take to change a lightbulb?
The armed guards will escort you out of the townhouse now.

How many PA mouthpieces does it take to change a lightbulb?
The Cigarette-Buying Man prefers candlelight.

How many members of PA Author Support does it take to change a lightbulb?
Please use email for any further questions. All further messages on the forums will be ignored.

How meeny PA eddie tires do it took to change a light bald?
How do you spell that again?

How many PA Logos does it take to change a lightbulb?
What lightbulb? Any references to a lightbulb no longer exist.

arrowqueen
03-25-2005, 06:05 PM
I love them all!

Alphabeter
03-26-2005, 09:03 AM
:thankyou:

I would like to thank Dave K for giving me the idea.
:Clap:


Now if anyone wants to answer "How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb", I'll be happy to read it. :Guitar:

BradyH1861
03-26-2005, 09:14 AM
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

One to hold it up while the world revolves around him.

How many Yankees does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold it up and two to spin the chair around.



BLH

aspier
03-26-2005, 03:17 PM
And the blind guy just keep on wondering what the fuss is about.

jackie106
03-27-2005, 04:09 AM
How many trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to rant about how we're better off sitting in the dark and five more with the same IP address to agree with him.

MacAllister
03-27-2005, 04:16 AM
"How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb"

one to bring the burnt-out bulb to the attention of the others

a conference of at least five to determine the wisest and most fair course of action

three to exchange a flurry of pm's regarding the burnt-out bulb, to ascertain that it can't somehow be mended

three more to field questions from the members about why the lightbulb needed changing, and whether the new style is really the most effective

One to point out that the lightbulb has been banned, and we can all go back to what we were doing before...

We're a well-oiled machine, I tell ya!

Birol
03-27-2005, 08:33 AM
How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to take immediate action when the lightbulb gets burned out.
Another one to suggest they should have tried moved the fixture while changing the bulb. A third to suggest the original lightbulb be allowed back into the room in order to defend its decision to burn out.

Birol
03-27-2005, 08:35 AM
How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to tell the lightbulb it better shape up or else it is getting changed. Another one to support the original mod when the lightbulb attacks the mod for censoring its originality.

Betty W01
04-01-2005, 10:16 PM
It all depends on what we're changing it into...

Birol
12-15-2006, 02:03 AM
Hey! Look what I found! This is what AW needs -- more lightbulb jokes.

Bravo
12-15-2006, 02:07 AM
Where did reph go?

Birol
12-15-2006, 02:12 AM
She took a step back from the boards. She still logs in and reads but just lurks now.

LloydBrown
12-15-2006, 02:14 AM
How many role-players does it take to change a light bulb?

Nevermind that, let me tell you about MY light bulb.

poetinahat
12-15-2006, 02:16 AM
*snrk*

An old one, but one of my faves:

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The fish.

writerterri
12-15-2006, 02:21 AM
Hey! Look what I found! This is what AW needs -- more lightbulb jokes.


Why, you're all the light we need around here. :e2flowers

BottomlessCup
12-15-2006, 02:22 AM
How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to change it. One to take that one out and put in a higher-wattage bulb to highlight the actor's looks. One to take that out and put in a lower-wattage bulb to fit budget. One to paint it green to meet the director's vision. One to take the bulb out entirely. And one to put the original bulb back in, for a million cash and back-end.


How many political bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Lol! Bloggers can't change anything.

rhymegirl
12-15-2006, 02:27 AM
So, in keeping with this thread's purpose, I ask you: How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but it'll take a woman to get him to do it.



That's my lightbulb joke in all its simplicity, and there's really not much more to say than that, but I'm in a writing experiment.

Oh, I know what I can add to this, and that's to say that the above joke is something I sold to a social expression company.

They used it on a notepad for women; I believe it fell under the category of male bashing, which of course is something women sometimes do, don't you think?

dpaterso
12-15-2006, 02:28 AM
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb must want to change itself.

-Derek

Opty
12-15-2006, 02:33 AM
Dangit, you posted that joke as I was typing it.

But, the version I've heard is:

A. One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

LloydBrown
12-15-2006, 02:34 AM
Musical reference:

How many female leads does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She holds it in place and the world revolves around her.

writerterri
12-15-2006, 02:58 AM
How many light bulbs does it take to change a dork?

Just one, but first she has to go to the store and buy it and when she brings it home she steps on it and doesn't feel like going back to the store to buy another one, and for months she forgets to buy a bulb everytime she goes back. So the dork goes unchanged.

Birol
12-15-2006, 02:59 AM
Why, you're all the light we need around here. :e2flowers

ROFL. That's the funniest joke yet.

CBeasy
12-15-2006, 03:23 AM
Please don't ban me for this! I don't mean it I swear!

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Let her cook in the dark!

KiwiChick
12-15-2006, 03:40 AM
How many nymphos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they have to be very small.

SC Harrison
12-15-2006, 03:49 AM
She took a step back from the boards. She still logs in and reads but just lurks now.

I miss her *sniff*. :(

She made me laugh, from time to time. Which is good. :) She also made me think, on occasion, which hurts my little monkey brain, but I even miss that part.

Soccer Mom
12-15-2006, 06:19 AM
How many ADD kids does it take to change a....
Hey, Let's ride bikes!

Marlys
12-15-2006, 06:34 AM
My favorite:

How many debut authors does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. You can check your Amazon ranking in the dark.

writerterri
12-15-2006, 08:24 AM
Please don't ban me for this! I don't mean it I swear!

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Let her cook in the dark!


I put a booger in your green beans!

dpaterso
12-15-2006, 10:33 AM
How many nymphos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they have to be very small.
:Wha: The nymphos have to be very small, or the lightbulbs?

-Derek

Kevin Yarbrough
12-15-2006, 10:52 AM
How many lonely, sex crazed men does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Takes two EMT's to remove man from lightsocket and one to replace bulb so they can begin CPR.

Booo! Leaving the room now.

Bmwhtly
12-15-2006, 01:01 PM
:Wha: The nymphos have to be very small, or the lightbulbs?

-DerekThe nymphos, in order to fit inside the bulb. (Screw IN)
It took me a while too.

writerterri
12-15-2006, 08:10 PM
Okay, but what's a nympho?

arrowqueen
12-16-2006, 04:50 AM
Since we've revived this thread...

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...

Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs.
I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us,
and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

Birol
12-16-2006, 05:07 AM
:roll: