How many...light bulb?

reph · Mar 24, 2005

Found all over the Web. This version is from bbc.co.uk:

How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Two - one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
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How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Does it have to be a light bulb?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many proofreaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many cover artists does it take to change a light bulb?
Why is there...an eggbeater, I think?...sticking out of this light fixture?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Added from another set:]

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q: How many booksellers does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: Only one, and they'll be glad to do it too,
except no one shipped them any.

CACTUSWENDY · Mar 24, 2005

Very good.....lol

sthrnwriter · Mar 25, 2005

Those are cool.

Alphabeter · Mar 25, 2005

Publish America edition

How many PA Stooges does it take to change a lightbulb?
The armed guards will escort you out of the townhouse now.

How many PA mouthpieces does it take to change a lightbulb?
The Cigarette-Buying Man prefers candlelight.

How many members of PA Author Support does it take to change a lightbulb?
Please use email for any further questions. All further messages on the forums will be ignored.

How meeny PA eddie tires do it took to change a light bald?
How do you spell that again?

How many PA Logos does it take to change a lightbulb?
What lightbulb? Any references to a lightbulb no longer exist.

arrowqueen · Mar 25, 2005

I love them all!

Alphabeter · Mar 25, 2005

I would like to thank Dave K for giving me the idea.
:Clap:

Now if anyone wants to answer "How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb", I'll be happy to read it. :Guitar:

BradyH1861 · Mar 25, 2005

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

One to hold it up while the world revolves around him.

How many Yankees does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold it up and two to spin the chair around.

BLH

aspier · Mar 26, 2005

Fuss about

And the blind guy just keep on wondering what the fuss is about.

jackie106 · Mar 26, 2005

How many trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to rant about how we're better off sitting in the dark and five more with the same IP address to agree with him.

MacAllister · Mar 26, 2005

"How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb"

one to bring the burnt-out bulb to the attention of the others

a conference of at least five to determine the wisest and most fair course of action

three to exchange a flurry of pm's regarding the burnt-out bulb, to ascertain that it can't somehow be mended

three more to field questions from the members about why the lightbulb needed changing, and whether the new style is really the most effective

One to point out that the lightbulb has been banned, and we can all go back to what we were doing before...

We're a well-oiled machine, I tell ya!

Birol · Mar 26, 2005

Alphabeter said:
How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to take immediate action when the lightbulb gets burned out.
Another one to suggest they should have tried moved the fixture while changing the bulb. A third to suggest the original lightbulb be allowed back into the room in order to defend its decision to burn out.

Birol · Mar 26, 2005

How many AW moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to tell the lightbulb it better shape up or else it is getting changed. Another one to support the original mod when the lightbulb attacks the mod for censoring its originality.

Betty W01 · Apr 1, 2005

It all depends on what we're changing it into...

Birol · Dec 14, 2006

Hey! Look what I found! This is what AW needs -- more lightbulb jokes.

Bravo · Dec 14, 2006

Where did reph go?

Birol · Dec 14, 2006

She took a step back from the boards. She still logs in and reads but just lurks now.

LloydBrown · Dec 14, 2006

How many role-players does it take to change a light bulb?

Nevermind that, let me tell you about MY light bulb.

poetinahat · Dec 14, 2006

*snrk*

An old one, but one of my faves:

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The fish.

writerterri · Dec 14, 2006

Birol said:
Hey! Look what I found! This is what AW needs -- more lightbulb jokes.

Why, you're all the light we need around here. :e2flowers

BottomlessCup · Dec 14, 2006

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to change it. One to take that one out and put in a higher-wattage bulb to highlight the actor's looks. One to take that out and put in a lower-wattage bulb to fit budget. One to paint it green to meet the director's vision. One to take the bulb out entirely. And one to put the original bulb back in, for a million cash and back-end.

How many political bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Lol! Bloggers can't change anything.

rhymegirl · Dec 14, 2006

So, in keeping with this thread's purpose, I ask you: How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but it'll take a woman to get him to do it.

That's my lightbulb joke in all its simplicity, and there's really not much more to say than that, but I'm in a writing experiment.

Oh, I know what I can add to this, and that's to say that the above joke is something I sold to a social expression company.

They used it on a notepad for women; I believe it fell under the category of male bashing, which of course is something women sometimes do, don't you think?

dpaterso · Dec 14, 2006

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb must want to change itself.

-Derek

Opty · Dec 14, 2006

Dangit, you posted that joke as I was typing it.

But, the version I've heard is:

A. One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

LloydBrown · Dec 14, 2006

Musical reference:

How many female leads does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She holds it in place and the world revolves around her.

writerterri · Dec 14, 2006

How many light bulbs does it take to change a dork?

Just one, but first she has to go to the store and buy it and when she brings it home she steps on it and doesn't feel like going back to the store to buy another one, and for months she forgets to buy a bulb everytime she goes back. So the dork goes unchanged.

How many...light bulb?

Fig of authority

An old, sappy, and happy one.

Snoopy Dance!

Player of the Letters

RIP, our sarky besom

Player of the Letters

Hold Fast.

'Twas but a dream of thee

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