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View Full Version : Phrases you never want to hear



DL Hegel
03-08-2008, 04:38 AM
Anything you have heard said that you said to yourself that's just not right.

davids
03-08-2008, 04:40 AM
bend over i love you!

DL Hegel
03-08-2008, 04:40 AM
"I don't normally like girls but there is something about you."

rugcat
03-08-2008, 04:45 AM
At an ophthalmologists office, doctor examining my eye:

Uh-huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. . .uh oh.

BarbJ
03-08-2008, 05:19 AM
Eeeewww, yuck.(In a variety of context.)

Captain Scarf
03-08-2008, 05:35 AM
"And with a record majority the Conservative Party Leader David Cameron will be asked to form the next government."

(political perhaps, but still true)

sunna
03-08-2008, 05:46 AM
From a nurse, during an ultrasound:

"Woah."

Williebee
03-08-2008, 05:49 AM
After being pulled over, out of state, by a Wisconsin State Trooper, in a friend I should have known better's car:

"Excuse me sir, is that your Uzi there in the back seat?"

DWSTXS
03-08-2008, 05:51 AM
'Is that blood?"

Captain Scarf
03-08-2008, 07:40 AM
"I'm sorry sir, that's the last ever tea bag. There will never be any more."

TrainofThought
03-08-2008, 08:09 AM
bend over i love you!:roll: Oh... davids... you're too much.

"Did you do some tea bagging this weekend?" It ain't right.

Riley
03-08-2008, 08:16 AM
From a gym teacher:

"Nice crack."

(From now on, I will be wearing tighter-fitting pants in gym class.)

BenPanced
03-08-2008, 08:25 AM
bend over i love you!
Of course, you realize we're through.

No. That's not the quote.

And I've changed the locks.

JoNightshade
03-08-2008, 08:28 AM
"Oh no you di-int!"

I purposefully do NOT carry around an icepick so I don't kill everyone who says this.

Mumut
03-08-2008, 09:50 AM
Doctor: 'This won't hurt.'

maxmordon
03-08-2008, 10:00 AM
Teacher that gave me a self-help book as a gift: "It will help to adapt you, you always look so lonely."

Craig Gosse
03-08-2008, 12:15 PM
From any surgeon:

'Say - where's my watch...?'

kristie911
03-08-2008, 01:19 PM
"It's not you, it's me."

Last time I heard that my reply was, "You're right, it is you, you fucknut." I think he got the point. :)

Stew21
03-08-2008, 01:37 PM
Both of my kids running into the room at one time saying, "it wasn't me, Mom! I didn't do it. It was him."

Bad sign.

ona
03-08-2008, 02:22 PM
"Oh ... ah ... don't move ... there's something ... ohhh ... on your ... ewww .... neck .... KEEP STILL !"

DL Hegel
03-08-2008, 06:45 PM
Some really funny phrases keep'em coming!
"you're taking my temperature--where?!

Riley
03-08-2008, 07:47 PM
Both of my kids running into the room at one time saying, "it wasn't me, Mom! I didn't do it. It was him."

Bad sign.

:D That one brings back memories. Here's another from me:

(During a doctor's exam):

"Uh-oh, looks like we got something stuck up there."

Me: "Oh my God!"

"Oops, just kidding. You're okay."

I seriously considered murder that day.

William Haskins
03-08-2008, 08:04 PM
"mr. haskins, i'm afraid you're pregnant."





























"oh. and it's twins."

KikiteNeko
03-08-2008, 08:23 PM
Someone I know actually said this to me, "You have a black person's butt. Black guys like that in white girls."

William Haskins
03-08-2008, 08:26 PM
that's fine for you, but now there's some poor black person roaming around without an ass.

JoNightshade
03-08-2008, 09:11 PM
From the jr. hi basketball coach: "I couldn't decide between you and her, so I flipped a coin. You lost. Sorry, nothing personal."

And thus ended my dreams of being a basketball star. :)

rhymegirl
03-08-2008, 09:31 PM
"I thought YOU paid that bill." OR "I thought YOU took care of that." (from spouse)

"The toilet won't flush." (from anyone in the house)

Doctor: "I've never seen a mole quite like this one before."

Dentist: "You're gonna need a root canal."

Server in restaurant after you order a certain food item: "I wouldn't recommend that, Ma'am."

Server, after you order the thing on the menu you want most: "We're all out of that."

Car mechanic, after you hoped whatever was wrong with the car was something minor: "You're gonna need a new transmission."

eldragon
03-08-2008, 09:47 PM
I do not like "my bad." It just bugs me.


Or, when I went back to Vegas last December, after living in Mississippi for 8 years, and my old friends said I had a southern accent.


The exact word I said was "Pro-gra-am," Or so they said.


Some friends!

writin52
03-08-2008, 10:02 PM
I like it, but...

:scared:

EriRae
03-09-2008, 01:42 AM
"I'm sure your query is wonderful, but we're so busy at this time that we just don't have the time to read every query we receive. I hope you understand..."

rhymegirl
03-09-2008, 01:48 AM
Dear Writer,

We are unable to use the enclosed manuscript, but we wish you luck placing it elsewhere.

rhymegirl
03-09-2008, 01:50 AM
To woman who already has a bunch of kids:

"You're pregnant."

nicolen
03-09-2008, 02:09 AM
Overheard while babysitting.

"You started the fire - you put it out."

Thankfully it was only smoldering...

Maryn
03-09-2008, 02:17 AM
From an editor: [rubber stamped on my query letter] NOT FOR US AT THIS TIME

From almost anyone: "Are you sitting down?"

From a cop at the door, his face professionally blank. "Ma'am, may I come inside?"

From the friend I'm shopping with: "Yes, it does make your ass look gigantic."

From my doctor: "...natural part of aging, with more discomfort as you get older..."

From the lab technician: "Oh, you have slippery veins. Let me try again."

From my dentist: "Oh, about $3,500. And three surgeries."

Maryn, who's received them all

DL Hegel
03-09-2008, 02:35 AM
"thats my Chihuahua?" Meooow

astonwest
03-09-2008, 02:43 AM
From a urologist:

"You're a stone-forming MACHINE!"

BenPanced
03-10-2008, 12:13 AM
"I don't mean to be rude, but..." Yes, you do. You get off on it. It's your reason for being. It proves how much better you are than I. It shows the world you know how to get ahead. And it's always fun to belittle and mock those who are less intelligent and aren't as attractive as you.

"What I meant to say was..." Then why didn't you say it in the first place?

DragonHeart
03-10-2008, 03:04 AM
"It's not a big deal, but..."

If it's not a big deal then why bother bringing it up!? I get that one from customers a lot and it always irritates me because it means they're about to ask either some ridiculously stupid question or something important they should have asked me before they paid.

~DragonHeart~

lute
03-10-2008, 03:08 AM
At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

DamaNegra
03-10-2008, 06:33 AM
From the anesthesiologist after sticking a needle full of sleep-inducing drugs into my arm: "Wooops... don't look..."

From almost anyone:
"Please don't get mad...."

Devil Ledbetter
03-10-2008, 06:35 AM
"To be honest with you..."

They weren't being honest earlier?

donroc
03-10-2008, 06:47 AM
Get outta' here.

I don't believe it.

He never did anything to me.

After critiquing a performance or writing: "But he/she is a very nice person."

That's apples and oranges.

That's a false analolgy.

Why are you so serious?

DL Hegel
03-10-2008, 06:38 PM
Is it suppose to look like that?

Patrick L
03-10-2008, 06:41 PM
"I'm not going to be IGNORED, Dan."

rhymegirl
03-10-2008, 06:46 PM
"I'm not going to be IGNORED, Dan."

Is that from Fatal Attraction?

MoonWriter
03-10-2008, 06:53 PM
After Katrina - "About your insurance coverage..."

Patrick L
03-10-2008, 06:53 PM
Oh yes! Scariest line ever.

I was about sixteen when I saw it, and at the end, a man stood up and told the whole theater he was going home to his wife.

DL Hegel
03-10-2008, 07:22 PM
that' a great story--
Oh yes! Scariest line ever.

I was about sixteen when I saw it, and at the end, a man stood up and told the whole theater he was going home to his wife.

DL Hegel
03-10-2008, 07:25 PM
when i lived with a with a bunch of roommates--one flew into my room obviously still drunk from the nite before holding the fire extinguisher "how does this work?"

DL Hegel
03-12-2008, 04:08 AM
"that's not oatmeal!

astonwest
03-12-2008, 05:46 AM
From your grandfather:
"Make sure to keep your peter in your pants."

sunna
03-12-2008, 06:00 AM
From a sibling: "I hate to ask you this, but..."

Somehow I always end up several hundred poorer at the end of the sentence. :(


From a surgeon: "Did you sign the knee we're working on today?"

Did you want my autograph or are you trying to scare me?


From a dentist: "Hmmm. Can you feel that?"

There's just no way that question can end well.

Carole
03-12-2008, 06:49 AM
"Sweetie, I picked up a beautiful blonde at a truck stop on Alligator Alley. I've been keeping her with me at the hotel this week and I'm bringing her home with me. You'll like her."

Honest to gods, told to me by my husband...about the yellow striped kitten he found at a truck stop in Florida. :D He didn't share the "kitten" part until the next day, after I had several panic attacks and planned a few dramatic death scenes for him and the floozy.

StephanieFox
03-12-2008, 08:27 PM
(heard on the tv after dinner)

Thousands of pounds of contaminated beef already sold in local supermarkets.

DWSTXS
03-12-2008, 08:29 PM
"Sweetie, I picked up a beautiful blonde at a truck stop on Alligator Alley. I've been keeping her with me at the hotel this week and I'm bringing her home with me. You'll like her."

Honest to gods, told to me by my husband...about the yellow striped kitten he found at a truck stop in Florida. :D He didn't share the "kitten" part until the next day, after I had several panic attacks and planned a few dramatic death scenes for him and the floozy.

That's genius.


How about this one - "Gee honey, you do that almost as well as your sister!"

James81
03-12-2008, 08:44 PM
"Come with me if you want to live."

rhymegirl
03-12-2008, 10:36 PM
"Come with me if you want to live."

Isn't that line from Terminator 2?

KTC
03-12-2008, 10:40 PM
I'm just a proctologist. You need a deep sea diver.

KTC
03-12-2008, 10:41 PM
Stand up! I said kiss my bass.

James81
03-12-2008, 10:43 PM
Isn't that line from Terminator 2?

Yeah. lol

I don't want no machines from the future coming back to try and kill me. :P

davids
03-12-2008, 11:01 PM
Doctor to Dave

Hey Dave you came in here-you wanted the damn examination-if you do not drop your shorts and assume the position what the hell you expect me to do?

He talks to me like that because I take him fishing with me and on weekends he comes down and sits with me on the trawler and ogles young nubile nymnphets-but I still hate the phrase-maybe it is an aged health thing-yah I know I know!!!!

DL Hegel
03-12-2008, 11:31 PM
"This will only pinch." The doctor said as he shoved a minature vacuum hose up my nose to clear a blocked passage--HE LIED.

ReneC
03-12-2008, 11:43 PM
"Honey? Where's the tarantula?"

Broadswordbabe
03-12-2008, 11:53 PM
Dentist, to his assistant:

"Hold her head, please. Firmly."

Haggis
03-12-2008, 11:54 PM
Coming from wife or SO: "We need to talk."

Coming from surgeon during vasectomy: "Oops."

Craig Gosse
03-13-2008, 12:00 AM
"Sweetie, I picked up a beautiful blonde at a truck stop on Alligator Alley. I've been keeping her with me at the hotel this week and I'm bringing her home with me. You'll like her."

Honest to gods, told to me by my husband...about the yellow striped kitten he found at a truck stop in Florida. :D He didn't share the "kitten" part until the next day, after I had several panic attacks and planned a few dramatic death scenes for him and the floozy.

http://www.messengerfreak.com/emoticons/other/30112.gif

DeleyanLee
03-13-2008, 12:02 AM
"It was just here a minute ago..."

To a new mother, "You just don't make a very good cow, lady."

Anyone screaming at the top of their lungs while driving, particularly during rush hour.

"Do you really want an answer to that?"

"You know I'm your friend, right?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

DeleyanLee
03-13-2008, 12:03 AM
Oh! And coming from your children: "Look what I/we found!"

reigningcatsndogs
03-13-2008, 01:46 AM
"Hi, Mom... you don't need to worry... we have it all under control... we're all just hanging around the basement talking about stuff....oh, and do you remember where Dad put that thing he uses to catch the snakes?"

Sadly -- a true statement from my youngest son. :e2thud:

Eskimo1990
03-13-2008, 01:55 AM
Coming from a boyfriend or girlfriend "Look...we need to talk"

Sadly I've heard that phrase many times

Anthony Matias
03-13-2008, 02:06 AM
"Guess what sweetie. The indicator is blue and we're having another baby!"

Cloud Jumper
03-13-2008, 02:06 AM
*fortune cookie message* That wasn't chicken.

JoeEkaitis
03-13-2008, 02:10 AM
"As you all know, it's been a really tough year, and even the CEO has had to sell one of the company's corporate jets . . ."

Cloud Jumper
03-13-2008, 02:11 AM
Oh...I suppose that's "reading", isn't it? ()^^

DL Hegel
03-13-2008, 04:34 AM
Coming from your child "I had a little accident."

Joe270
03-13-2008, 06:04 AM
No, there's not rice in the casserole.

F(*&* disgusting! Don't eat the casserole.

DL Hegel
03-13-2008, 11:22 PM
I am going to be a little naughty and put something I don't like to say--because it is wrong!! "don't lick the mirror!" "get your toe out of your nose!" Get your toe out of his nose" and "don't put that in your mouth."
I have said all of these things mutiple times as a tkd teacher.

Stew21
03-13-2008, 11:24 PM
I was there with Kyle the day you said, "don't lick the mirror"

I think it might have been the same day little Harrison said tomorrow is called donut day (as opposed to Sunday).

DL Hegel
03-13-2008, 11:35 PM
:D
I was there with Kyle the day you said, "don't lick the mirror"

I think it might have been the same day little Harrison said tomorrow is called donut day (as opposed to Sunday).:D

Stew21
03-13-2008, 11:36 PM
I laughed through that entire class.

DL Hegel
03-13-2008, 11:42 PM
Kyle and Harrison are too cute-- I often have to stare at the floor to keep from laughing.
I laughed through that entire class.

Stew21
03-13-2008, 11:50 PM
We can tell it's belt testing time at our house. He knows he's getting graded. Shall I tell Mr. EJ and Ms. D that you aren't being nice to Jack?
he straightens up immediately.


You have become my threat. :D

Ah the benefits of sending your children to tae kwon do.

DL Hegel
03-13-2008, 11:52 PM
and my litter boxes are ready for the hard cases:)
We can tell it's belt testing time at our house. He knows he's getting graded. Shall I tell Mr. EJ and Ms. D that you aren't being nice to Jack?
he straightens up immediately.


You have become my threat. :D

Ah the benefits of sending your children to tae kwon do.

DL Hegel
03-14-2008, 04:40 AM
"If you keep dancing around like that I am going to get you a pink too-too!"

DL Hegel
03-15-2008, 12:13 AM
"that's 2 weeks old!"

Susie
03-15-2008, 05:18 AM
A doctor, taking a biopsy on my arm of my red mark and saying, "Gee, that was stupid!"

DL Hegel
03-17-2008, 09:33 PM
"I think we should see other people."

DL Hegel
03-17-2008, 09:35 PM
"One of us."

DL Hegel
03-17-2008, 09:35 PM
"I forgot you were a girl."

Anthony Matias
03-17-2008, 09:41 PM
I know you can't talk, but if this hurts...by all means, please tell me.

SupplyDragon
03-17-2008, 09:55 PM
The words that I REALLY don't want to hear, now or ever again, are:

Guess what son, you're heading back to Iraq.
*shudder*

The wife is gonna kill me...

Jenan Mac
03-17-2008, 10:05 PM
Any sentence that begins with either "Mo-oooom! James won't stop--" or "Mrs. <teacher> said to tell you--"

Craig Gosse
03-17-2008, 10:12 PM
"...This is not a drill..."

JoeEkaitis
03-18-2008, 01:43 AM
"Down the hall, turn left, then through the double doors marked 'Surgery.' And, no, you don't have time to go home and pack a change of clothes."

Inky
03-18-2008, 01:45 AM
How can I love you if you don't lie down?

Anthony Matias
03-18-2008, 06:53 AM
Step away from the vehicle with your hands on your head.

Shweta
03-18-2008, 07:16 AM
"Hey, your brother -- um. Are your parents home? No? Well.... your brother..." :hesitates:

(He was mugged, he was fine, he eventually even got rid of the bloodstained t-shirt)

althrasher
03-18-2008, 07:20 AM
"Ms. Amanda! Shay's getting a backrub by that old man!"

*shudder* I need a more observant staff working with me...

DragonHeart
04-30-2008, 10:12 PM
"Well, I can get it cheaper at 'insert cheap big box retailer here'!"

Then go buy it there. Seriously. I've been hearing that a lot lately, like it'll somehow convince me to give it to them for the lower price. Um, no. It doesn't work that way. Usually they even quote exactly how much it is at the other store. Price matching doesn't work that way, and no we don't price match with Wal-Mart since they aren't a direct competitor anyways. (It's like trying to price match Starbucks against Barnes and Noble to get a better price on a latte. No. Just no.)

~DragonHeart~

quickWit
04-30-2008, 10:32 PM
Dad: "It's the damnedest thing...I crouched down to grab something and the lower portion of my colon actually came out of my rectum..."

Me: "Jesus! Dad, that's enough. I don't want to hear anymore."

Dad: "That's not the bad part. The bad part is it's hereditary. Sorry Pal."

JoeEkaitis
04-30-2008, 10:37 PM
"Yes, I KNOW you printed that confirmation from our web site but I can't find your name or the names of anyone else in your party on this flight."

cray
04-30-2008, 10:38 PM
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

James81
04-30-2008, 10:47 PM
*opens envelope*

You are cordially invited to be a guest star on Jerry Springer...

slcboston
04-30-2008, 10:51 PM
We know we told you to do it *that* way. Even after you advised us that the old way was better. And that you and your team spent days fixing it to *that* way.

But we've decided, now that you've less than a week left before deadline on this four-month project, that we really liked it better the way it was before.

slcboston
04-30-2008, 10:54 PM
From my mechanic: "Honestly, your car's worth less than it will take to fix this."

Eskimo1990
04-30-2008, 11:10 PM
Coming from a girlfriend "Umm...babe...I'm pregnant."

Coming from a daughter(teenage) to a mother "Umm...Mom...I'm pregnant...but don't worry, (enter bf's name) said we'll stay together, and that he'll support me!"

DL Hegel
05-28-2008, 04:25 AM
Your mother-in-law is moving in:D

Alvah
05-28-2008, 05:04 AM
The repairman said:
"You need a new furnace; this old one isn't worth fixing."

DL Hegel
05-28-2008, 10:35 PM
Any statement that starts out "I have good news and I have bad news..."

pconsidine
05-29-2008, 12:43 AM
"If this doesn't work, we're going to have to go in through your neck." – Nurse trying to put in an IV needle.

JoeEkaitis
05-29-2008, 01:03 AM
"That much smoke isn't normal."

Fingers
05-29-2008, 01:17 AM
Phone call received at 930pm concerning our fifteen year old daughter who had run away for the fifth or sixth time that we had not seen or heard of in two weeks: Hello, this nurse xxxxx from Oregon Health Sciences University Emergency room, we have your daughter here and she was involved in a head on collision.

Luckily, she only had a bump on her forehead. Not a call any parent should get.

yer pal Brian

DL Hegel
05-29-2008, 04:12 AM
that is very scary
Phone call received at 930pm concerning our fifteen year old daughter who had run away for the fifth or sixth time that we had not seen or heard of in two weeks: Hello, this nurse xxxxx from Oregon Health Sciences University Emergency room, we have your daughter here and she was involved in a head on collision.

Luckily, she only had a bump on her forehead. Not a call any parent should get.

yer pal Brian

writerterri
05-29-2008, 04:24 AM
Yeah, yeah, yeah!



Thank goodness it's going out.

Devil Ledbetter
05-31-2008, 11:17 PM
Phrases you never want to hearRepairing a bulging spinal disk is like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube.:cry:

waylander
06-01-2008, 12:17 AM
"I think that police car is following us"

Izunya
06-01-2008, 12:44 AM
"No, no, no! Spook, don't—aww, man!" Accompanied by *hork . . . hork . . . hork . . . hruuurgh!* from Spook, our cat.

Also phrases like, "Have you seen the cat?" and "Grab her before she goes under the—"

Izunya

HeronW
06-01-2008, 01:35 AM
'Is it supposed to look like this?'
or
'You don't wanna know...'

DL Hegel
11-03-2008, 05:41 AM
it's not that bad...

Any sentence that starts with--I shouldn't be saying this but

polarqueen
11-03-2008, 06:55 AM
I have a penchant for food, so sometimes I'm caught in a dilemma where I'll say something like this:

"I love meat!" in reference to a Big Mac

and then every one proceeds to stare at me, and maybe some one will crack a naughty joke, and then I have to explain that I was referring to actual meat, as in greasy hamburger patty.

Clair Dickson
11-03-2008, 07:05 AM
My Mechanic/ Brother told me, regarding my car: "If it was anyone else, I wouldn't let them drive a car in this condition."

No, no, it was supposed to be a compliment. Really.

(Yes, I'm still driving the car.)

Darzian
11-03-2008, 08:35 AM
"I'm afraid the warranty covers all problems other than the one you've got here...."


Happened to me at least 5 times in last 2 years.

regdog
11-03-2008, 04:11 PM
I can explain......

Pagey's_Girl
11-03-2008, 05:34 PM
"Pagey? Is that your car on fire out there?"

It wasn't....thankfully. I'd just bought that car three days eariler.

Nivarion
11-03-2008, 07:34 PM
when your getting a hair cut and the purson swears after making a cut.

Pagey's_Girl
11-03-2008, 08:00 PM
A notice for a five-minute meeting with your boss and HR at 4 PM on Friday...

DL Hegel
11-04-2008, 09:35 AM
When suffering with a newly broken toe...
Is that bone sticking out?

poetinahat
11-04-2008, 09:42 AM
"Now don't take this the wrong way, but..."

DL Hegel
11-04-2008, 10:02 AM
I wish I could help--but..

Del
11-04-2008, 10:22 AM
The doctor said we will need to repeat the operation; he cut off the wrong one.

maestrowork
11-04-2008, 02:47 PM
"No, you can't do that."

Oh, really? Watch me...

Pagey's_Girl
11-04-2008, 05:06 PM
"No, you can't do that."

Oh, really? Watch me...

Down south (where my family's from) it goes this way:
"Hey' y'all, hold muh beer and WATCH THIS!"

Yup, if you hear that. just call 911. You're gonna need 'em...

regdog
11-04-2008, 05:30 PM
Down south (where my family's from) it goes this way:
"Hey' y'all, hold muh beer and WATCH THIS!"

Yup, if you hear that. just call 911. You're gonna need 'em...

In my family it goes more like this

Why won't this damn grill light? Just turn up the gas a little...

You know you've already dialed 91 and are just waitinig to hit the last 1

Pagey's_Girl
11-04-2008, 06:38 PM
Police officer, walking in door: "We received a 911 hangup from this location, ma'am."

Turns out someone upstairs had been trying to make an international call, which involved dialing 9-011-and the phone number, and had sort of missed the zero. Then they panicked and slammed the phone down real quick when the 911 operator answered, which of course flags the call as high priority - took awhile to get that on sorted out, since I of course had no idea what had happened...

Brings new meaning to the phrase "saved by zero."

Del
11-04-2008, 07:41 PM
When you dial 911 and hear, "We're sorry. The number you are dialing is no longer in service."

Pagey's_Girl
11-04-2008, 07:50 PM
"Suicide Prevention Hotline, please hold."

ETA: "Was that your car with the lights on all day in the lot?"

ETA again - not quite a phrase, but a ginormous crash in the supply room followed by an "Awww, s**t!" is never good...

DL Hegel
11-04-2008, 10:34 PM
how do i get gum out of my hair?

Pagey's_Girl
11-04-2008, 10:43 PM
"Hold it - you did WHAT with the cork?!"

Referring to a thermometer: "I know it's not an oral thermometer, but why did you put it in his ear?"
"Because it's for ears. Why? Where did you--?"
"Oops...."

maestrowork
11-04-2008, 10:44 PM
"No, the condom broke."

rostaria01
11-04-2008, 11:05 PM
From a police officer after waking up from eleven days in coma after heart surgery "were really sorry... But we cant continue with the case...."

From an ex-girlfriend.... "I only used you for the experience"

From a friend on a site.... "That agency is fake... run away"

From an ex-Boyfriend.... "I only went out with you to get to your friend"

NightShayde
11-04-2008, 11:19 PM
When you go to get your blood drawn, the nurse tries like... 8 times to stick the needle in your vein then says "Hold on let me get someone who knows what they're doing..."

Nivarion
11-04-2008, 11:21 PM
when you hear something crash while watching kids, and they respond "nothing" when you ask them what it was.

Pagey's_Girl
11-05-2008, 11:57 PM
"I thought YOU turned it off!" - when you're fifty miles away from what wasn't supposed to be left on.

"Are printers supposed to smoke?"

From a friend after I got a little carried away rocking out to my MP3 player: "Sheesh. You look like Michael Jackson pole-dancing."

Pagey, never gonna dance again....

Del
11-07-2008, 07:13 PM
Your dog just ate my tax return check.

Atani
11-07-2008, 07:38 PM
While driving from Texas to Arizona..."Is that smoke coming from under the hood?"

My husband and I are standing on the side of the road investigating the damage to our car after hitting a deer at 6am while driving from Texas to Arizona on a separate trip (27 degrees outside).

"The dog must have hit the door lock button..."

Did I mention the car was running & we did not have a second set of keys???? That was a fun morning!

Darzian
11-07-2008, 08:49 PM
While driving from Texas to Arizona..."Is that smoke coming from under the hood?"

My husband and I are standing on the side of the road investigating the damage to our car after hitting a deer at 6am while driving from Texas to Arizona on a separate trip (27 degrees outside).

"The dog must have hit the door lock button..."

Did I mention the car was running & we did not have a second set of keys???? That was a fun morning!

:D
Why do so many people complain of this happening?

Del
11-07-2008, 11:34 PM
"The dog must have hit the door lock button..."




:D
Why do so many people complain of this happening?

Yeah. Just tell the dog to push the button again!

Susie
11-08-2008, 12:20 AM
"Oops, that was stupid!" from a surgeon doing a biopsy on your arm. :)

Atani
11-08-2008, 01:37 AM
Yeah. Just tell the dog to push the button again!


Oh, we tried that...begged, coaxed, yelled, anything we could think of, but apparently he was only capable of reaching it the one time!

thethinker42
11-08-2008, 03:43 AM
"Wait, I thought you said it was spelled with two S's, not two Z's." -- spoken upon completion of my most recent tattoo. By the tattoo artist. And no, he wasn't kidding.

thethinker42
11-08-2008, 03:45 AM
"Scarletpeaches is back on AW."

scarletpeaches
11-08-2008, 03:53 AM
SURPRISE!!! :D

thethinker42
11-08-2008, 03:56 AM
Well, wasn't that ironic timing...*eyeroll*