Hehe, Feedback is so addicting, please help.

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2008

I haven't had feedback for my work for weeks! I was told wait until I finish the book, I didn't ask why. But now as I write, I feel like I need someone's honest opinion on this and that, or ask a writer if this story is written well. I'm trying to resist the urge but I can't. I just wanted to know if I'm actually "good enough" to be a writer. It all started when I first started writing the book and submitted it to Yahoo Answers. I wasn't looking for ego strokes or praises, just honest opinions, is it good? Does it suck. A lot of people told me how really great it was, and they got thumbs up for it (That means that they agree with the person saying that.) Two people told me that I could actually beat the harry potter books. And seeing that HP is so popular, everyone is always talking about it, hearing that comment made me cry. A had people emailing me asking me if they could read my book, I said sure, I gave it to them to read. I even had "fans". Just having people enjoy what I wrote really made me happy. But I went to a writer's forum. Searched far and wide for an active forum, until I came here.

As I write all I ever did was ask for feedback, I just can't help myself now. It's so addicting. All of this just to see if I was good enough to continue writing? Am i going to make a best seller? If I'm not good enough, I stop.

I want to continue writing, but I can't resist the urge to ask for feedback.

EDIT: I still IM people who are eager to read my book, I give it to them only because they want to read it.

Please help. After looking back at my old posts I feel really bad. I even feel guilty posting this now.

Toothpaste · Mar 5, 2008

Don't feel guilty posting this post Blue. But also DON'T post anything for feedback. It's one thing to seek emotional support fighting an addiction (and the instant gratification of people reading your work and telling you stuff is something you have become addicted to). It's another to feed the addiction. Stay strong hon! This is what I was talking about earlier. You are totally allowed to feel these feelings, just don't give into them!

You can do it!

CatMuse33 · Mar 5, 2008

Blue,
I've been following your posts, but haven't chimed in as I don't write fiction. However, this is a subject I can relate to for sure...

It's kind of like love (you know the expression about loving yourself first?) YOU have to find it in your heart to believe you are good enough. What other people think shouldn't BE the be-all, end-all. Of course it matters. It's easy to say, "It doesn't matter what other people think." But we're human, and it does.

THAT'S why it's so important to stay away from feedback for a bit. You seem to live or die with it, where a compliment will have you floating on air, and the opposite makes you depressed.

The question is NOT whether WE think you are a good writer--it's Do YOU think you are a good writer? Do YOU feel like you have what it takes to keep going?

Dawn

dpaterso · Mar 5, 2008

What is your question?

Are you going to write a best seller?

Who on earth can predict that?

Finish your novel, then start shopping around for an agent. That's what everyone else does.

I repeat, finish your novel. If you can't do that, you can't hope to sell it.

-Derek

IceCreamEmpress · Mar 5, 2008

BlueLucario said:
As I write all I ever did was ask for feedback, I just can't help myself now. It's so addicting. All of this just to see if I was good enough to continue writing? Am i going to make a best seller? If I'm not good enough, I stop.

I want to continue writing, but I can't resist the urge to ask for feedback.

Keep up the good work.

Seriously, it's so hard to change habits, especially habits that bring instant gratification.

It's really important that you're doing this, though. It's a big step in your growth as a writer.

Maryn · Mar 5, 2008

I can only echo what others have said. Seeking frequent feedback (which often translates to seeking praise, which in turn gives confidence) is seeking instant gratification. Deferring gratification is a sign of maturity as a person and as a writer.

Instead of stopping every 1000 or 10,000 words demanding validation and encouragement, decide for yourself whether you love it enough to go on. If you don't, rewrite it, including rethinking it, until you do.

When the author loves her work, the opinions of others are moot.

Maryn, who rarely gets to use moot (which is a damned shame)

CasualObserver · Mar 5, 2008

I thought I wanted feedback until I figured out that I really wanted a partner to bounce things around with. Someone who knew the story well enough to tell me a lesser character was acting out of role in chapter five, to help brainstorm past the writer's block in chapter twelve. A person who proved that the jokes were, in fact, funny and that one particular phrase worked especially well and give encouragement when the main character and I had a fatal disagreement on the plot. A person you can send a thousand words to with the note, "Something's wrong here but I can't figure out what."

Send out feelers and develop a relationship with a good critter; it's just as important to be willing to be there for them when it's their turn to need to know if the joke the wrote was funny. If you can find sopmeone like this treat them as if they were worth their weight in gold, because they probably are.

czjaba · Mar 5, 2008

Wanting feedback is completely different than wanting an ego-stroking, which is completely different than wanting a crit. But the only thing that matters is if YOU like your writing and are proud of your work.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help if you get stuck, just remember (especially in SYW) you have to ask for exactly what you want. If you want a crit, that's exactly what you'll get.
Question for you: If you get a crit with lots of suggested changes for 'tightening' and 'show don't tell' and 'more action,' would that make you think differently about your writing? Would you still love to write?
Also, I think the work should be completed before asking for crits/feedback. And like Casual said, you may be looking for a writing partner.
JMO

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2008

Thanks guys, I still hope to write a best seller but there's no right way to right one.I just hope to finish,publish the book and hope I'll get lucky. I don't do it for the money, I just hoped that millions of people read my work. One day it'll be a movie, a video game, and maybe have a bunch of nerds roleplay my book in their backyard. That's what I dreamt of...

but some dreams are meant to be flushed down the toilet.

Mr Flibble · Mar 5, 2008

but some dreams are meant to be flushed down the toilet.

No, some dreams get tempered in the forge of life and turn out stronger.

Don't write for feedback, write because you love it. And with anything you love, study it, learn it, and make it all come true.

Marian Perera · Mar 5, 2008

BlueLucario said:
Am i going to make a best seller? If I'm not good enough, I stop.

So basically, you're like a student who just strapped on a first pair of skates, did one lap around the rink and said, "If I'm not going to win a medal at the Winter Olympics, I'll stop."

I want to continue writing, but I can't resist the urge to ask for feedback.

I'm going to be blunt and say that the feedback people gave you on Yahoo Answers didn't help you.

They told you you could beat the Harry Potter novels? Maybe in future, but right now, your writing skills are simply not up to par. And you haven't even completed one novel, let alone a seven-book series. Depending on the website, it's not unusual for writers to post stories which require serious work and still get lots of praise - I've seen that on www.fanfiction.net - but that does not help the writers to improve. And
IMO, the feedback you got before was so flattering that no wonder you got addicted, but that will not help you improve as a writer.

If you want to write a bestseller, you have to finish the book.

Posting excerpts and asking for feedback will not help you finish the book.

Decide what you want to do.

BlueLucario · Mar 5, 2008

Queen of Swords said:
I'm going to be blunt and say that the feedback people gave you on Yahoo Answers didn't help you.

They told you you could beat the Harry Potter novels? Maybe in future, but right now, your writing skills are simply not up to par. And you haven't even completed one novel, let alone a seven-book series.

You're right it isn't. I still want to work on them as I write.

Matera the Mad · Mar 5, 2008

You've got a good thing started, Blue, and I really mean that. But it is going to take time, and you are going to feel discouraged some of that time. Just don't give up!

We know you need feedback, and we want to give you the right kind -- not empty back-patting, but real help in strengthening your writing muscles. Remember when you didn't even know how to walk or talk? No, I don't suppose so. But you got all the way here from there, and if you could do that you can take the next steps too.

Keep at it, and watch out for the empty-calories kind of feedback you will get from Yahoovians and such

CasualObserver · Mar 5, 2008

Matera the Mad said:
... watch out for the empty-calories kind of feedback...

Empty-calorie feedback. I like that, it's really spot-on.

Danger Jane · Mar 5, 2008

Blue, like everyone else has said--you have to just write. You can't get hung up on every little thing that comes your way. Like you yourself have said--BIC. And that doesn't include finding out what the experts on Yahoo Answers have to say.

BlueLucario · Mar 6, 2008

Geez, I didn't think you guys knew what BIC meant.

Bubastes · Mar 6, 2008

BlueLucario said:
Geez, I didn't think you guys knew what BIC meant.

Um, you're kidding, right? You've been on AW this long, received tons of advice from serious writers, and you think that AW people don't know what BIC means?

jessicaorr · Mar 6, 2008

BlueLucario said:
Geez, I didn't think you guys knew what BIC meant.

BIC-HOK-TAM is my mantra lately LOL

I can relate. I used to show my husband everything I wrote and bathe in his adulation. I was so unsure of myself, I really needed his affirmation to keep me going. Then, as an experiment, I wrote a horrible poem and asked him what he thought. He praised it of course and I realized he'd probably adore anything I wrote. Great husband, bad beta

I took a seminar in college on writing personal statements and the teacher said "you can tell how much your reviewer loves you by the level of red ink on the paper they give back." So now, every time I get a slashed manuscript back, my first thought is "you love me, you really love me!"

Anyway the point is, now I know that everyone will require different things from my writing. Some will love anything I produce because it's mine and some will love or hate it based on their standards/experience. So I do the best I can and learn as I go. Well, that and get crits from people who aren't predisposed to adore me

Menyanthana · Mar 6, 2008

MeowGirl said:
Um, you're kidding, right? You've been on AW this long, received tons of advice from serious writers, and you think that AW people don't know what BIC means?

Actually, I learned what BIC means on AW...BlueLucario must be kidding.

Marian Perera · Mar 6, 2008

BlueLucario said:
Geez, I didn't think you guys knew what BIC meant.

I hope it didn't come as too much of a shock.

Mr Flibble · Mar 6, 2008

I feel slightly patronised, and a little grubby

BlueLucario · Mar 6, 2008

I just saw it on a writer's humor page. No I wasn't kidding. Now I feel really stupid.

Bubastes · Mar 6, 2008

Don't feel stupid. I was just surprised, that's all. BIC is advice that shows up all over AW.

BlueLucario · Mar 6, 2008

Hehe Thank you.

BlueLucario · Mar 7, 2008

Well. Can you guys tell me what happens when I just submit my work for someone to read?I'm not. Sorry for asking.

Thank you for telling me about Yahoo Answers. Back when I first posted that stuff, I didn't know the difference between a critique and a praise. Now that I posted it up there, I'm at risk for someone to steal my work.

Can I still send the story to someone else to read, not critique only because they asked for it? Or should I just keep it to myself?

(Please don't kill me.)

Hehe.

Hehe, Feedback is so addicting, please help.

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