Let's just say...

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WendyNYC

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...you are at a dinner party and you are seated next to Mr. BigTime Literary Agent. Your friend has placed you there because he knows you are an aspiring writer. You have had a few minor short stories published and you are working on your first novel, which is months away from being completed. Now let's say you are not the most smooth and charming person in the world, sometimes even a wee bit shy.

How do you handle this? Do you mention the fact you write? Pitch your incomplete book? Ask for advice? Smile and nod and freeze up? What?
 

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I would imagine that at some point in the conversation you would be asked what you did for a living. You could mention you are a writer (if you have the nerve, make a joke about the fact that it looks like you two have been set up or something). If the agent is polite, he might ask about your work, then you could share some info. But don't go into huge detail. Nor should you get all "Oh well it's nothing, just a little bit of . . ." because that kind of humility is really grating. If you are brave enough, maybe you could ask him for some general advice on how to get an agent, and ask him what it's like to be an agent. I personally would never suggest sending my stuff to him. He may though, and that would be awesome. But let it be his choice, not yours.

Try to just talk to him like a normal person first and foremost. Maybe discuss movies or something. And do your best to relax and enjoy the evening.

Good luck!
 

Expanding Ink

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Speaking as someone who is also not the most smooth and charming person in the world, I would still have to say something. Even though it might not lead to anything significant, if I didn't at least take the chance, I'd regret it.

Of course, I have no idea what I would say. If he brings up what he does for a living, you could always slip it in then. "Oh, you're a Big Time Literary Agent? How fascinating. I've actually been looking for an agent recently. Do you have any recommendations?"
 

WendyNYC

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I should probably have some sort of mini-pitch ready, right? Just in case he asks? I'm so much better with paper than in person. It always sounds like "Well, uh, see it's this story? About, like, a woman and her mother? And lots of stuff happens...."

And just to make it even more stressful, he OWNS the literary agency. I'd probably be smoother with a junior person, for sure.
 

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What you need, Wendy, is an "elevator sentence" (what screenwriters call a "logline"). "It's a fantasy novel about vampire fashion designers." "It's an historical mystery set during the American Revolution." "It's a non-fiction book about the crisis in the Canadian logging industry."

If he wants to hear more, move on to a 50-word pitch. If you spend some time writing it out, it should be reasonably fresh in your mind.

But, you know, a lot of people don't like talking about work at dinner parties. So don't be disappointed if he spends the whole evening talking with you about your kids' respective schools, or where the best place to buy arugula is.
 

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...you are at a dinner party and you are seated next to Mr. BigTime Literary Agent. Your friend has placed you there because he knows you are an aspiring writer. You have had a few minor short stories published and you are working on your first novel, which is months away from being completed. Now let's say you are not the most smooth and charming person in the world, sometimes even a wee bit shy.

How do you handle this? Do you mention the fact you write? Pitch your incomplete book? Ask for advice? Smile and nod and freeze up? What?
O-o-oh, what a great friend and what a lovely predicament! Me? I'd smile and nod and freeze up. Then I'd take a deep breath, c-a-l-m myself and ask THEM to talk about what they do then slip in my own small accomplishments. If they ask about my WIP, I'd tell them - briefly so as not to bore the heck out of them. Come prepared with a short pitch that you've memorized to death so when you go blank, as I often do, it will come out automatically. Good luck and HAVE FUN!
 

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Yes, you must absolutely have a pitch ready so you don't appear to be an inarticulate baboon! :)

"Oh gee, if only I'd known, I would have brought my novel along with me, ha ha ha! I could have ruined the entire night for you single-handedly!"

"Oh it's nothing much really... Well, it's based on a person I once knew, who endured the most harrowing experiences I've ever heard of in my life. I cried just hearing about it. But thank God there's a happy ending that's uplifting and heart-warming and makes you feel good all over."

Poke him with those teasers, make him beg.

If he doesn't respond then dump him, he's a pig.

Good luck!

-Derek
 

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The owner? Find out if he's written any books, done any interviews or magazine articles. If so, then read them so you can have some knowledgable things to ask.
 

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You should follow the agent's lead in conversation. That is, as Toothpaste noted above, the question of "what do you do?" should come up fairly easily, and it's perfectly OK to say you're a writer. But after that, let the agent's follow-up questions be your guide. Agents and editors get used to being buttonholed for writing advice and pitches everywhere they go (like doctors being asked to dispense free medical advice) and often can be pretty guarded as a result. You'll probably be better off talking about subjects you'd discuss with any other dinner party guest--local sports, the Oscars, Obama, whatever. If the agent likes talking with you and is intrigued, he'll ask to see your stuff. They're not shy that way :).
 

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Here's my thought: don't be coy. You can be upfront and say something like, "I think Friend seated us together because she wanted me to have a chance to talk to a big-time literary agent." After all, it is a sweet, but funny and awkward situation to be stuck in. Friend means well, after all. Go with that and have some general questions about publishing, etc., to ask him. Like, his opinion on the market--what's big now, what's going to be big? Or his opinion on things like amazon's Kindle. Next big thing or next big fizzle?

None of that need lead to you pitching your work, if he doesn't want it to, but if he does give you an intro, be sure you have a pitch ready and polished. Be ready to talk about your work. That way, no matter whether he asks about your work at all, you can benefit from the meeting by getting some insight into his opinions on books. Then, after your book is done, you can query him and reference that dinner party at which you came off as smart and curious.

You like?
 

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How do you handle this? Do you mention the fact you write? Pitch your incomplete book? Ask for advice? Smile and nod and freeze up? What?
Me? I would have a panic attack, run in the bathroom, and hide until I know I can make a clean get-away.
 

Lauri B

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For many years (until quite recently, in fact) I had the very unpleasant experience of being pitched at every evening event I attended. Every single party or dinner I went to became a mini pitch session from people who would come up to me and say, "Oh, XX is a writer (or I'm a writer) and has a great idea for a book!" and then leave me with said writer who would launch into a detailed description of his or her project and then look at me expectantly. It's excruciating, mostly because I couldn't make business decisions during a dinner party, and didn't want to. I wanted to talk about the fun we were having, what they were wearing, what they liked to do during their weekends, etc. etc. Please, if you happen to sit next to an agent or an editor or anyone involved in publishing during an evening out, don't pitch your book then. Remember that person's name, charm them with your terrific (non-work-related) company, get their card or ask for their email address, and then follow up during normal business hours with a quick email or note.
 

IceCreamEmpress

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Every single party or dinner I went to became a mini pitch session from people who would come up to me and say, "Oh, XX is a writer (or I'm a writer) and has a great idea for a book!" and then leave me with said writer who would launch into a detailed description of his or her project and then look at me expectantly. It's excruciating, mostly because I couldn't make business decisions during a dinner party, and didn't want to. I wanted to talk about the fun we were having, what they were wearing, what they liked to do during their weekends, etc. etc. Please, if you happen to sit next to an agent or an editor or anyone involved in publishing during an evening out, don't pitch your book then. Remember that person's name, charm them with your terrific (non-work-related) company, get their card or ask for their email address, and then follow up during normal business hours with a quick email or note.

Yes, yes, yes!

However, it doesn't hurt to have your "elevator sentence" ready in case he asks. Because you don't want to make the impression of "um--umm--it's a book--umm--about--umm".

Because I have been there and done that. Some people are such workaholics that they prefer talking about work to anything else (I don't get it, either).
 

WendyNYC

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The owner? Find out if he's written any books, done any interviews or magazine articles. If so, then read them so you can have some knowledgable things to ask.


Oh yeah, I've been reading up on him. Hopefully that won't come across as stalker-ish, but lots of people know who he is. That's another thing--I think I'd look pretty green if I pretended to not know who he is (I AM green, of course). But I also don't want to be too aggressive "You're ____! Hey, I'm a writer!" Bah, I'm overthinking this.

Thanks, everyone, for the great advice.
 

WendyNYC

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But, you know, a lot of people don't like talking about work at dinner parties. So don't be disappointed if he spends the whole evening talking with you about your kids' respective schools, or where the best place to buy arugula is.


Honestly, I think I'd rather talk about arugula!
 

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...you are at a dinner party and you are seated next to Mr. BigTime Literary Agent. Your friend has placed you there because he knows you are an aspiring writer. You have had a few minor short stories published and you are working on your first novel, which is months away from being completed. Now let's say you are not the most smooth and charming person in the world, sometimes even a wee bit shy.

How do you handle this? Do you mention the fact you write? Pitch your incomplete book? Ask for advice? Smile and nod and freeze up? What?


Pffft. A bit shy. Unfortunately, I'm tremendously shy. I'd probably sh*t daisies if he asked me to pass him the peas. I'd more than likely say nothing. And more than likely, if my friend said something to said agent, I'd probably say, "The b*tch is lying! I don't write!", throw the peas at the host and run out of the house screaming.
 

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This is also an option...but yeah, I think it would be a mistake to act like you don't know who/what he is. That'll come off fake unless you're an amazing actor. Like, "Oh, really? I had no idea that you were Big Time Literary Agent." Yeah, right. And being a good conversationalist on his preferred topics will go a loooong way to helping him remember you when you finally do send that query.

Pffft. A bit shy. Unfortunately, I'm tremendously shy. I'd probably sh*t daisies if he asked me to pass him the peas. I'd more than likely say nothing. And more than likely, if my friend said something to said agent, I'd probably say, "The b*tch is lying! I don't write!", throw the peas at the host and run out of the house screaming.
 

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First I would say absolutely nothing. And after I've asked the host to just leave the whole bottle of wine at my place setting, I would start rambling endlessly about nothing important and scare the poor agent away.
 

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The one time this happened to me, it was an editor, not an agent. My published friend was having a party at a con and purposely sat me next to her editor so I could pitch to her.

Now, I didn't have anything ready to pitch at the moment and have my awkward moments (but am not really shy), so I wasn't opening conversation. However the conversation around us allowed both of us to get to talking naturally and discover points in common to just be people for the rest of the evening. She didn't find out I was a writer until the next day, during the con, and invited me to submit directly without a pitch at all. Ultimately she didn't take my book, but *shrug* There's always the next one. I've still got the open invite to submit.

Just be yourself and enjoy the dinner and the conversation. You'll make a bigger positive impression by being an entertaining person than you will by pitching. Honest.
 
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KTC

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First I would say absolutely nothing. And after I've asked the host to just leave the whole bottle of wine at my place setting, I would start rambling endlessly about nothing important and scare the poor agent away.


You're so invited to my next dinner party.
 

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I would rather be remembered for my personality than for the content of my book.
 

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Wendy - the most important thing is not to look at this evening as your only chance. As fate that you are being sat next to this agent. If you think of it that way, you are more likely to be even more tense and tongue tied.

This is not your only chance at representation (remember most of us here got our representation through the good old fashioned slush pile). This is a nice bonus of an opportunity, but it is not the be all and end all.

Try to just look at this evening as a chance to meet a really interesting person who might have some insight into your field.
 

WendyNYC

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Wendy - the most important thing is not to look at this evening as your only chance. As fate that you are being sat next to this agent. If you think of it that way, you are more likely to be even more tense and tongue tied.

This is not your only chance at representation (remember most of us here got our representation through the good old fashioned slush pile). This is a nice bonus of an opportunity, but it is not the be all and end all.

Try to just look at this evening as a chance to meet a really interesting person who might have some insight into your field.


Good idea. Can I hire you to pretend you are me for the evening? ;)
 

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lol! Actually that could be really fun!

But I think you'll be just fine. Have a glass of wine (not too many, but one to relax yourself), chat with your friend . . . it'll be a fun night!
 
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