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JoNightshade
02-29-2008, 08:19 AM
I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now. I am bored out of my mind. My husband has a buddy who, whenever we invite him over, WILL NOT LEAVE. It's now 8:20. He's been here since about six, when he "dropped by" to see a new game which he finished checking out at six fifteen. None of us has had dinner. I'm waiting for him to leave so I can start fixing it. (I can't invite him to have some because I only have enough for the two of us.)

How do I get him out???

Perks
02-29-2008, 08:21 AM
Oh thank god. I thought this was another birthday thread for me.



Come out of the bedroom in your pjs and bathrobe. That'll be a hint.

SpookyWriter
02-29-2008, 08:22 AM
I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now. I am bored out of my mind. My husband has a buddy who, whenever we invite him over, WILL NOT LEAVE. It's now 8:20. He's been here since about six, when he "dropped by" to see a new game which he finished checking out at six fifteen. None of us has had dinner. I'm waiting for him to leave so I can start fixing it. (I can't invite him to have some because I only have enough for the two of us.)

How do I get him out???I thought you were supposed to tour Mexico this week? What gives?

JoNightshade
02-29-2008, 08:28 AM
Oh man I think he's on his way out! My husband said the "Wellllll...." phrase.

ETA: Spooky: Okay, what?

Cranky
02-29-2008, 08:31 AM
I thought you were supposed to tour Mexico this week? What gives?

I think that was Melaniehoo, Spook. :D

JoNightshade
02-29-2008, 08:32 AM
Okay someone just called! Our friends are inviting us over! Salvation!!!

brokenfingers
02-29-2008, 08:33 AM
Next time start a very loud faux argument with your hubs. Works like magic to dispel unwanted guests.

KTC
02-29-2008, 08:36 AM
How do I get him out???


At my house, the phrase, "Please leave" comes in really handy. Grow some. Getter done.

SpookyWriter
02-29-2008, 08:43 AM
At my house, the phrase, "Please leave" comes in really handy. Grow some. Getter done.:roll: Come visit me in East LA someday. Please leave means "take the stereo" while you're on the way out.

rugcat
02-29-2008, 08:57 AM
I think I saw a Grade B horror movie on this theme: The Thing That Wouldn't Leave.

bluntforcetrauma
02-29-2008, 09:10 AM
Call someone and have them call you back. Tell your guest that it was for him. His house just burned down.

Joycecwilliams
02-29-2008, 09:55 AM
I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now. I am bored out of my mind. My husband has a buddy who, whenever we invite him over, WILL NOT LEAVE. It's now 8:20. He's been here since about six, when he "dropped by" to see a new game which he finished checking out at six fifteen. None of us has had dinner. I'm waiting for him to leave so I can start fixing it. (I can't invite him to have some because I only have enough for the two of us.)

How do I get him out???

I read this after he already left, but I am laughing imagining hiding in the bathroom with the computer.. :)

ErylRavenwell
02-29-2008, 10:09 AM
I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now. I am bored out of my mind. My husband has a buddy who, whenever we invite him over, WILL NOT LEAVE. It's now 8:20. He's been here since about six, when he "dropped by" to see a new game which he finished checking out at six fifteen. None of us has had dinner. I'm waiting for him to leave so I can start fixing it. (I can't invite him to have some because I only have enough for the two of us.)

How do I get him out???

Tell him to leave, candidly...or tactfully.

JoNightshade
02-29-2008, 10:35 AM
Whew! Okay, we're back from the friends' house (where we did NOT overstay our welcome). Eventually my hubby did say "I'm kicking you out now."

Now we just need to arrange a signal so he knows when *I* want him to say it.

Although, knowing him, he'd say, "Jo just gave me the 'You have to leave' signal! Leave!"

Mr. Nightshade is very tactful.

kellytijer
02-29-2008, 11:26 AM
I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now. I am bored out of my mind. My husband has a buddy who, whenever we invite him over, WILL NOT LEAVE. It's now 8:20. He's been here since about six, when he "dropped by" to see a new game which he finished checking out at six fifteen. None of us has had dinner. I'm waiting for him to leave so I can start fixing it. (I can't invite him to have some because I only have enough for the two of us.)

How do I get him out???

Your problem is solved this time, but I wanted to share a little story with you. It's one of my family's favorites.

My Great Aunt Marie spent her winters at a trailer park in Phoenix. One of her trailer park neighbors, an old, fat lady named Vi, would stop by every night around dinner time and say, "Oooh, something smells good!"

So Aunt Marie would invite her in for dinner. The visits from Vi became too frequent, and Aunt Marie got irritated. One night after dinner, Aunt Marie invited Vi to stay for dessert.

Vi accepted the invitation.

Aunt Marie cleared the dinner dishes from the table and placed them on the floor where Aunt Marie's dog, Frisky (aka Frikkers), proceeded to lick the plates clean. After dessert, Aunt Marie picked up all of the dinner dishes and put them back in the cabinets as if they were clean.

Vi witnessed the entire event. She said nothing, but never showed up at Aunt Marie's trailer around dinner time again.

Mandy-Jane
02-29-2008, 01:04 PM
We had a friend visiting who was in the process of moving back to the area from Melbourne. While he was in our area, his car broke down. It needed some spare part that they had to get in. We offered for him to stay at our place, thinking it would only be for one night.

Three days later, his car is fixed. Thank God, I say. Now he'll leave.

But no, now he decides he needs to look for a job, a house, a million other things. In the end he was with us for over a week, and he's not a very sociable person. One of those people that finds fault in everything. Nothing is good enough, you know the kind.

I've never been so happy to see the back of someone. So I know how you feel!

KTC
02-29-2008, 03:13 PM
:roll: Come visit me in East LA someday. Please leave means "take the stereo" while you're on the way out.


I'd love to, but East LA is way too gauche for me. My fragile beauty wouldn't allow for the visit. I'd love to deflower you of your stereo, though. Please mail it.

RumpleTumbler
02-29-2008, 03:46 PM
I would be honest but that's just me. I don't have any friends dropping by so it must not be a good thing.

I'd probably just say "<name> I'm sorry there isn't enough for you to eat with us but I've got to get dinner going. You're welcome to stay if you don't mind watching us eat."

In the future I'd probably preface the invitation with all this beforehand.

Your hiding out in the bedroom probably makes him feel like it's cool for him to stay because you aren't even involved with your husband at that point.

astonwest
03-01-2008, 03:51 AM
Could be worse...your guest could stay for months before they finally leave (like my SIL many moons ago).

Silver King
03-01-2008, 05:08 AM
I thought you were supposed to tour Mexico this week? What gives?
You must be thinking of melaniehoo (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94132)?

KikiteNeko
03-01-2008, 08:22 AM
Your post reminds me of a short story I once read. Please don't take this as a personal judgement on you or your marriage; it's just a lovely story I thought I'd share. :)

I can not remember the author, but the story was entitled "Doors." It was about a newlywed couple who had a great loving wonderful marriage. However, the wife grew up in a house that shut and locked doors, whereas the husband lived in the type of household that was so close-knit they didn't even close the door when using the bathroom. They had both emigrated to America, India I think but I can't remember.

Often, the husband teased her when she closed the door behind her and locked it to take a shower. She couldn't explain why--she had just always done that.

One day, the husband's cousin shows up to "visit" unannounced. The wife graciously offers him the spare bedroom, but the cousin insists upon sleeping in the livingroom--on the floor--in the center of the house so that the family can be close together. Months pass like this. The cousin is loud, invasive, and often just walks into their bedroom unannounced. He does not keep order in the livingroom.

The husband doesn't mind this. It's how he grew up; his cousin is family; he believes in sharing the house as a family. The wife does not agree. She has a studio in which she likes to work alone from home, and this is the one door she is allowed to close. Still, the noise from this cousin affects her ability to work, to sleep, to relax. Her friends notice the change in her, and worry for her.

One day, in her office, the door is closed and she is trying to take a moment of peace for herself. The cousin opens the door without knocking, not caring that he interrupted, and asks her for the tape (something else, but let's assume tape since I can't remember). The wife snaps. She throws the tape at him and screams for him to get out of her office, and then proceeds to slam and lock the door in his face.

The husband is unhappy with her. And they have an argument. At the end, she retreats to the bedroom. She hears a door close, and she's not sure if she'd closed it in an angry blur as she stormed face-first towards the mattress, or if someone else had closed it for her.

JoNightshade
03-01-2008, 08:35 AM
Tomo - I totally didn't take this personally, but mainly because I didn't get the point of the story. ??? :)

KikiteNeko
03-01-2008, 08:43 AM
I don't know. It's just a nice story. I'm not sure it really had a point, but I read it three or four years ago so maybe I forgot.


Tomo - I totally didn't take this personally, but mainly because I didn't get the point of the story. ??? :)

nancy sv
03-01-2008, 12:02 PM
We had a friend visiting who was in the process of moving back to the area from Melbourne. While he was in our area, his car broke down. It needed some spare part that they had to get in. We offered for him to stay at our place, thinking it would only be for one night.

Three days later, his car is fixed. Thank God, I say. Now he'll leave.

But no, now he decides he needs to look for a job, a house, a million other things. In the end he was with us for over a week, and he's not a very sociable person. One of those people that finds fault in everything. Nothing is good enough, you know the kind.

I've never been so happy to see the back of someone. So I know how you feel!

That's us right now! We are on the Couchsurfer's website and last week a guy wrote and asked if he could stay here for a few days so he could go skiing at the local ski resort. That was perfectly fine with us.

Anyway, as he was driving here, he car broke down and he had to get it towed into town last Friday. Of course, they couldn't get the parts until Tuesday, so he hung around. Then he went skiing a couple days, but he is still here!!! GAH!! He's been here a week now and I'm not sure what his plans are. He's a nice guy, but jeesh - we didn't expect him to be here that long!

Gravity
03-01-2008, 04:59 PM
Jo, Jo...if this ever happens again, the solution is simple. Walk into the room where your hubby and friend are sitting, telling them you need get to "get something." As you pass the friend, let one rip. I mean a nasty one. I mean a nosehair-curling, eye-watering, sulphorous crowd-pleaser. As your hubby's friend looks at you aghast, color draining from his face, smile sweetly and say "Sorry, I had Mexican for lunch; I'll probably be doing that the rest of the evening. Say, what are you fellas working on? Can I get you a snack?" The last you'll see if the guy is his feet making tracks out your door. See? Easy!

astonwest
03-02-2008, 04:58 AM
Or he'll try to give you a "hell, yeah" and a high five...

dpaterso
03-02-2008, 05:09 AM
Such complicated solutions! All ya have to do is appear in the doorway wearing only lipstick and a pair of stilettos and say, "Honey, I need you upstairs, now."

-Derek

How2writer
03-02-2008, 05:36 AM
I used to own a Bed and Breakfast (for authors). I had a simple solution for guests who wouldn't leave. I told them either they would have to leave so I could prepare the rooms for the incoming guests or they would need to pay double the room rate so I could refund what the new guests had already paid. It worked. My biggest problem was guests who were not writers or authors on book tours: they often left at the crack of dawn for early morning TV show interviews. The pokey ones dawdled over breakfast until 11 AM which was check-out time and then spent more time in their rooms and the bathroom so I couldn't clean those rooms before starting my day as a writer. Mornings are my best writing time, so I decided to bring my computer to the dining room and started working there. When the guests had no audience for their stories, they got moving.

Another host wasn't so subtle. He just said, "Off you go, go play. Get out and don't come back until after dinner." He had a tone of voice that made him sound charming; I couldn't carry it off without sounding like a shrew.

Kerr
03-02-2008, 06:05 AM
...let one rip. I mean a nasty one. I mean a nosehair-curling, eye-watering, sulphorous crowd-pleaser. As your hubby's friend looks at you aghast, color draining from his face, smile sweetly and say "Sorry, I had Mexican for lunch; I'll probably be doing that the rest of the evening.

:roll:

Ah... okay, I had this friend in the first floor apartment of our two-flat. First I babysat while she worked. Then, I kept all the kids in my apartment so hers wouldn't get messed. Then, I started helping her clean anyhow when she'd come home raising so much hell I felt guilty somehow. Finally, she came home and said she quit and if I liked the job so much, I could have it.
I went right over and did just that, and of course, found a different babysitter, not wanting to put my kids through any more of that. By the end of the first week, though, she'd begun to come up the back stairs with hubby and the two kids just as it was starting to smell like dinnertime. My hubby was a really big eater, but we pulled our belts in and shared. It happened again the next night, and the next, but on the forth, I started throwing things around and screaming the minute I heard footsteps on the stairs. My hubby looked at me like "what the heck?" They did a U-turn and went back down. Soon enough, I smelled dinner cooking down below. I turned and grinned.

How2writer
03-04-2008, 06:25 PM
A celebrity once related how he gets company to leave when he wants to go to bed. He plays a recording of the Star Spangled Banner (US national anthem) so everyone has to stand up. Then he starts handing them their coats.

HeronW
03-04-2008, 07:16 PM
Pretending a stomach flu will make unwanted guests leave asap.

SmartAsh
03-04-2008, 07:31 PM
That's us right now! We are on the Couchsurfer's website and last week a guy wrote and asked if he could stay here for a few days so he could go skiing at the local ski resort. That was perfectly fine with us.

Anyway, as he was driving here, he car broke down and he had to get it towed into town last Friday. Of course, they couldn't get the parts until Tuesday, so he hung around. Then he went skiing a couple days, but he is still here!!! GAH!! He's been here a week now and I'm not sure what his plans are. He's a nice guy, but jeesh - we didn't expect him to be here that long!

You let strangers sleep on your couch?!

Technically, someone who overstays their welcome is a trespasser... so you could always call the police :) And then you can go ahead and file a report for the missing stereo, too...

DWSTXS
03-04-2008, 07:48 PM
Tomo - I totally didn't take this personally, but mainly because I didn't get the point of the story. ??? :)

Tomo
Am I missing something here too? I didn't understand it either. sorry.