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View Full Version : Elmo Wants to Kill Your Child



William Haskins
02-24-2008, 08:41 PM
This 2-year-old boy loves his Elmo, but the feeling isn't mutual. After replacing the batteries of his PC-syncing Elmo Knows Your Name toy, it awoke with a new vocabulary: the phrase, "Kill James?" So what was the child's reaction? He repeats it, getting an enviable early start on his life of self-loathing awaiting ahead. As the news report states, the mother is conflicted as how best to deal with the situation. "Melissa has dilemma, this Elmo is her son's favorite toy...[but it wants to kill him]."

http://gizmodo.com/359993/elmo-doll-wants-to-kill-child-we-still-want-to-kill-elmo

Angie
02-24-2008, 08:43 PM
:ROFL:

This only reinforces my firm belief that Elmo is the devil.

bluntforcetrauma
02-24-2008, 08:44 PM
I want to kill Elmo.

robeiae
02-24-2008, 08:45 PM
The kid has too many toys.

Perks
02-24-2008, 08:55 PM
Naughty, naughty programmers. Is it wrong that I think that's hilarious?

Esopha
02-24-2008, 08:56 PM
I keep seeing scenes from Child's Play flash before my eyes.

Run, James! Run!

paprikapink
02-24-2008, 08:59 PM
Take the batteries out.

Angie
02-24-2008, 09:00 PM
Take the batteries out.


I think the mom's missing out on a great opportunity to scare her child into behaving.

"Be good or I'll let Elmo out!"

Perks
02-24-2008, 09:00 PM
Take the batteries out.Yeah, he must have preferred the Eveready brand, but that can't be poor little James' fault.

Elmo has misdirected anger.

Captain Scarf
02-24-2008, 09:34 PM
My sister had a Furby that went evil and kept screaming.

It did not like it when turned it upside down (it yelled: "Maybe monsters) and took the batteries out. We never replaced them.

Evil evil thing

Ever wanted to see what happens when you put a Furby in a microwave?

Someone did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lNfBZTz2xQ&feature=related (NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH- Furby dies)

donroc
02-24-2008, 10:30 PM
"Go Elmo!" W.C. Fields?

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 10:39 PM
elmo's always given me the creeps. even before i knew its name.

Devil Ledbetter
02-24-2008, 10:57 PM
It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?

William Haskins
02-24-2008, 11:01 PM
It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?

left out of the story is the fact that he sits in silhouette at the kitchen table while asking it, a cigarette burning in an ashtray as he picks his teeth with a knife.

donroc
02-24-2008, 11:01 PM
Send more Elmos to the airlines? See that baby thread.

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 11:02 PM
It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?

yeah. implies elmo's little wheels are turning.

creepy.

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 11:03 PM
left out of the story is the fact that he sits in silhouette at the kitchen table while asking it, a cigarette burning in an ashtray as he picks his teeth with a knife.

oh-kay. now yer writin'.

blacbird
02-24-2008, 11:12 PM
Back when the first "Tickle Me Elmo" craze hit, I just about cracked my skull bashing it against my walls trying to figure out what nitwit parent could possibly purchase one of these things for a kid. It got worse with the updated "crazed Chucky" version of Elmo that came out a year or so ago. And the idea that people would camp out all night in freezing weather just to be in line to buy these things . . . I can't . . . I can't . . . please, Jesus, let me forget . . .

I suspect we now better get ready for something like the "I Scream Until I'm Blue in the Face Elmo", where he goes off on a 120-decibel tantrum and the nanotech fur on his face turns blue, unless your child pats him on the back, or you shoot him, whichever comes first.



. . . what was I talking about?

Thank you, Lord. Amen.

caw

maxmordon
02-24-2008, 11:29 PM
Some toys just shouldn't talk...

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 11:43 PM
Some toys just shouldn't talk...

Some toys?

kristie911
02-24-2008, 11:45 PM
My son owns one Elmo. It doesn't talk...

I think it looks evil anyway.

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 11:47 PM
someone gave me elmo slippers as a present once. i bleached them.

...oh wait, that was me. must've been sleepwalking at the time.

maxmordon
02-24-2008, 11:49 PM
Some toys?


OK, all Plush Toys shouldn't talk

joyce
02-25-2008, 12:21 AM
Reminds me of that old Twilight Zone episode with Telly Savalas (?) Talky Tina who ended up killing him. I then was given a Chatty Cathy by my mother, who resides in a box in the closet. I wonder what she has to say some 40 years later after being boxed.:)

Angelinity
02-25-2008, 12:26 AM
telly savalas was in twilight zonk??

me missed 'at one..

joyce
02-25-2008, 12:33 AM
telly savalas was in twilight zonk??

me missed 'at one..

Yes, he played this jerk step dad who hated his daughter's new doll that talked. He bitched about it and tried to take it away for her. He tried to saw in it in half but the doll got away. She ended up tripping him on the stairs and he fell to his death. The doll lived happily ever after. Every time I think of my Chatty Cathy I think about Talky Tina.

maxmordon
02-25-2008, 12:35 AM
Yes, he played this jerk step dad who hated his daughter's new doll that talked. He bitched about it and tried to take it away for her. He tried to saw in it in half but the doll got away. She ended up tripping him on the stairs and he fell to his death. The doll lived happily ever after. Every time I think of my Chatty Cathy I think about Talky Tina.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0d/Livingdollscreenshot.jpg

Angelinity
02-25-2008, 12:38 AM
Yes, he played this jerk step dad who hated his daughter's new doll that talked. He bitched about it and tried to take it away for her. He tried to saw in it in half but the doll got away. She ended up tripping him on the stairs and he fell to his death. The doll lived happily ever after. Every time I think of my Chatty Cathy I think about Talky Tina.

telly, chatty cathy and talky tina?? i want it. i wannit, where can i gettit??

joyce
02-25-2008, 12:38 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0d/Livingdollscreenshot.jpg

Wow, she even looks like my Chatty Cathy except she has dark hair. Thanks Max.:)

maxmordon
02-25-2008, 12:44 AM
Wow, she even looks like my Chatty Cathy except she has dark hair. Thanks Max.:)

The coolest part? Cathy and Tina where voiced by the same woman

joyce
02-25-2008, 12:48 AM
The coolest part? Cathy and Tina where voiced by the same woman

I didn't know that. To think I have Tina's sister locked in a box in the spare bedroom closet. Perhaps I'll keep her there.

Esopha
02-25-2008, 01:02 AM
At sleepovers in my elementary school days, my friends and I used to tell horror stories about Barbies coming to live and sawing off people's heads.

I think kids should play with Legos. And that's all.

Angelinity
02-25-2008, 01:05 AM
At sleepovers in my elementary school days, my friends and I used to tell horror stories about Barbies coming to live and sawing off people's heads.



real people or barbie people?

makes a difference to me.

Perks
02-25-2008, 02:19 AM
My daughter got the creepiest talking doll as a present from someone and she was so small, I snuck it away, and didn't let her keep it. She never knew the difference.

My friends and I, however, had a blast planting the fucking horrible thing in each other's houses. Sadly, it was accidentally run over when it fell off the trunk lid after being neglected to be packed inside for a trip back to my house. Lisa claims it was an accident anyway.

billythrilly7th
02-25-2008, 02:25 AM
Back when the first "Tickle Me Elmo" craze hit, I just about cracked my skull bashing it against my walls trying to figure out what nitwit parent could possibly purchase one of these things for a kid. It got worse with the updated "crazed Chucky" version of Elmo that came out a year or so ago.

It's a great toy.

He laughs and rolls around. And laughs and falls over and get's back up. And laughs.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8kOs3J0a2aI

Awesome. I crack up everytime.

Esopha
02-25-2008, 02:49 AM
real people or barbie people?

makes a difference to me.

Real people.

Angie
02-25-2008, 04:59 AM
Going back to the OP, I think the mother is worried about the wrong thing. She's concerned that her kid is repeating the phrase "Kill James?", but I think she should be more concerned with the fact that the thing talks about itself in the third person. Does she really want her kids learning that annoying habit??

Perks
02-25-2008, 05:13 AM
Bless my sour soul, I actually like Elmo. He cracks me up. I don't like redundantly, incessantly noisy toys, but the character makes me laugh. A lot.

Angie
02-25-2008, 05:19 AM
At least he's not as evil as Barney.

Perks
02-25-2008, 05:22 AM
Barney's a big doofus, but it's the precious, precocious, trying-too-everloving-hard-to-be-adorable, little Stepford monsters who follow him around that bother me about that one.

John Paton
02-25-2008, 05:43 AM
I used an Elmo in a play I directed a coupla years back.

It interrupted a couple of characters who were about to get it on under the christmas tree. It was worked via remote control.

I cant recall it ever changing it's lines tho. A true pro !!

Williebee
02-25-2008, 05:44 AM
Elmo III - Elmo meets TR (Teddy Ruxpin)

That evil bastard doll must die! See, now Teddy brought it "old school", lip syncing and reacting to cassette tapes that you could update and stick in his back.

Perks
02-25-2008, 05:56 AM
My daughter got the creepiest talking doll as a present from someone and she was so small, I snuck it away, and didn't let her keep it. She never knew the difference.

My friends and I, however, had a blast planting the fucking horrible thing in each other's houses. Sadly, it was accidentally run over when it fell off the trunk lid after being neglected to be packed inside for a trip back to my house. Lisa claims it was an accident anyway.

Oh! I just remember one of the things that freak would say. She'd coo out of her frozen, zombie-eyed face, "Tell me your see-crets." "Whisper in my ear."

Her name was Susie Secrets or some screwed up thing.

louisgodwin
02-25-2008, 09:27 AM
http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h223/jefforton/images.jpg

xhouseboy
02-25-2008, 02:49 PM
Elmo III - Elmo meets TR (Teddy Ruxpin)

That evil bastard doll must die! See, now Teddy brought it "old school", lip syncing and reacting to cassette tapes that you could update and stick in his back.

I sent Teddy Ruxpin to the Teddy Ruxpin hospital (as they called it in the manufacturer's warranty) and left him there to rot.

The thing never worked since day one.

Cassiopeia
02-25-2008, 02:59 PM
Bloody hell! I'd get a hammer and tell my son to smash the thing while repeating the words, Elmo is not my friend.

*looks around*

so like what? you don't agree? ;)

Silver King
02-25-2008, 06:56 PM
Bloody hell! I'd get a hammer and tell my son to smash the thing while repeating the words, Elmo is not my friend.

*looks around*

so like what? you don't agree? ;)
Boy, Cass, your writing sure is pretty sometimes. :tongue

Lyra Jean
02-25-2008, 08:31 PM
Have you seen the X-Files version of the talking doll. The doll was named Chinga and the girl was named Polly. Chinga was put in the microwave. It didn't actually kill her.

"Matches are bad. Let's play with the hammer." Then the mother gets the hammer and starts beating herself in the head with it.