Elmo Wants to Kill Your Child

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William Haskins

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This 2-year-old boy loves his Elmo, but the feeling isn't mutual. After replacing the batteries of his PC-syncing Elmo Knows Your Name toy, it awoke with a new vocabulary: the phrase, "Kill James?" So what was the child's reaction? He repeats it, getting an enviable early start on his life of self-loathing awaiting ahead. As the news report states, the mother is conflicted as how best to deal with the situation. "Melissa has dilemma, this Elmo is her son's favorite toy...[but it wants to kill him]."

http://gizmodo.com/359993/elmo-doll-wants-to-kill-child-we-still-want-to-kill-elmo
 

Esopha

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I keep seeing scenes from Child's Play flash before my eyes.

Run, James! Run!
 

Captain Scarf

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My sister had a Furby that went evil and kept screaming.

It did not like it when turned it upside down (it yelled: "Maybe monsters) and took the batteries out. We never replaced them.

Evil evil thing

Ever wanted to see what happens when you put a Furby in a microwave?

Someone did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lNfBZTz2xQ&feature=related (NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH- Furby dies)
 

Angelinity

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elmo's always given me the creeps. even before i knew its name.
 

Devil Ledbetter

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It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?
 

William Haskins

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It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?

left out of the story is the fact that he sits in silhouette at the kitchen table while asking it, a cigarette burning in an ashtray as he picks his teeth with a knife.
 

Angelinity

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It really wasn't all that threatening. He wasn't saying Kill James! He was only innocently asking, Kill James?

Is that really so creepy?

yeah. implies elmo's little wheels are turning.

creepy.
 

Angelinity

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left out of the story is the fact that he sits in silhouette at the kitchen table while asking it, a cigarette burning in an ashtray as he picks his teeth with a knife.

oh-kay. now yer writin'.
 

blacbird

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Back when the first "Tickle Me Elmo" craze hit, I just about cracked my skull bashing it against my walls trying to figure out what nitwit parent could possibly purchase one of these things for a kid. It got worse with the updated "crazed Chucky" version of Elmo that came out a year or so ago. And the idea that people would camp out all night in freezing weather just to be in line to buy these things . . . I can't . . . I can't . . . please, Jesus, let me forget . . .

I suspect we now better get ready for something like the "I Scream Until I'm Blue in the Face Elmo", where he goes off on a 120-decibel tantrum and the nanotech fur on his face turns blue, unless your child pats him on the back, or you shoot him, whichever comes first.



. . . what was I talking about?

Thank you, Lord. Amen.

caw
 

Angelinity

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someone gave me elmo slippers as a present once. i bleached them.

...oh wait, that was me. must've been sleepwalking at the time.
 

joyce

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Reminds me of that old Twilight Zone episode with Telly Savalas (?) Talky Tina who ended up killing him. I then was given a Chatty Cathy by my mother, who resides in a box in the closet. I wonder what she has to say some 40 years later after being boxed.:)
 

Angelinity

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telly savalas was in twilight zonk??

me missed 'at one..
 
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