Beta/proofreader for short story/ 2000 words.

I am submitting a short story to the "Voices of Caregiving'" book put out by LaChance Publishing. I would like to have someone read it before I submit it, I have until next Friday to submit.

I have a problem with comma usage so that is one thing you will have to look for. Other then that I'm not looking for anything specific, just looking for opinions.

I have done the best I can with it and would appreciate any help to improve it. I plan on taking one more look at it tonight and then I think it's ready.

I would like to thank Marie Pacha and RebeccaW for taking the time to help me with this story. Their help and suggestions have made this a better story and I even learned a couple of things.