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View Full Version : The days of rememberance are upon us.



SpookyWriter
02-23-2008, 07:15 AM
My father is about to lose his wife from brain cancer. I was told recently that she has a few days at the most. I don't know her very well, but I do know she loved my dad very much. I also know they shared so much for such a long time.

I don't know how to comfort my father.

But I will try.

I've asked my children to call their grandfather since I know this time is so difficult.

My family all wishes the best for our father and a peaceful happiness for Jane as she will be with her lord, and savior.

joyce
02-23-2008, 07:37 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your father's wife. It sounds like she was a nice lady. I wish you and your family all the best.:Hug2:

Devil Ledbetter
02-23-2008, 07:38 AM
Spooky, I'm so sorry. That is similar to what my MIL died from. She had a grade 3 tumor. They removed it and two more grew back in its place. She lived 18 months from her initial diagnosis.

It's a hard way to go.

Hugs,

DL

bluntforcetrauma
02-23-2008, 07:50 AM
My father is about to lose his wife from brain cancer. I was told recently that she has a few days at the most. I don't know her very well, but I do know she loved my dad very much. I also know they shared so much for such a long time.

I don't know how to comfort my father.

But I will try.

I've asked my children to call their grandfather since I know this time is so difficult.

My family all wishes the best for our father and a peaceful happiness for Jane as she will be with her lord, and savior.

This brought me to tears, Spooky. I pray for Jane's going home to be as painless as possible. I pray for your dear Dad to be comforted. I also pray for all of your family. If you need a shoulder, I'm here brother.

Silver King
02-23-2008, 08:11 AM
Jon, I know you will do so without being asked, but make sure you stay in touch with your father, often. He needs you now.

Sage
02-23-2008, 08:24 AM
:Hug2: I'm sorry to hear this, Spooky. My deepest sympathies to you and your father.

sunna
02-23-2008, 08:31 AM
Peace to you and your family, Spooky.

SpookyWriter
02-23-2008, 08:42 PM
I just spoke with my dad a few minutes ago. Jane is in a hospice care. At the moment, she is still at home but is expected to be moved to a hospice soon because my dad won't be able to care for her in the final stages.

My dad's voice was stronger than my own. But he's has had more time to deal with her cancer than I and is resigned to the future. My family continues to visit and help out whenever possible.

joyce
02-23-2008, 08:44 PM
Jon, is she here in the States? I know when my mother died of cancer hospice was great! I can't say enough kind words about those people.

Cranky
02-23-2008, 08:45 PM
I'm very sorry to hear this, Spooky. Words all come out too cheesy. Instead, I'll just say that I'm praying for them.

SpookyWriter
02-23-2008, 08:51 PM
Jon, is she here in the States? I know when my mother died of cancer hospice was great! I can't say enough kind words about those people.Yes, both my parents are in Arizona. My mom actually visited Jane a few weeks ago. My mom and dad divorced when I was seven. Jane is my dad's third wife. His second wife, Nina, died of cancer about fifteen years ago. I bawled my eyes out because Nina was like a second mother to me. I feel for my dad. Jane has a few days or a week at best from what I was told.

Angie
02-23-2008, 08:57 PM
Jon, is she here in the States? I know when my mother died of cancer hospice was great! I can't say enough kind words about those people.


I agree completely. When my stepfather was in the final stages of cancer, the hospice workers were what kept my mother going.

My deepest sympathies to your dad. Losing two wives to cancer...there are no words. :(

SpookyWriter
02-23-2008, 10:45 PM
My deepest sympathies to your dad. Losing two wives to cancer...there are no words. :(I agree. I had a difficult time trying to express myself this morning when we spoke. But my dad is strong and he soon began asking how I was doing. He was concerned for me. Can you believe it? I didn't want to go into a long talk about my life, and so I tried to summarize the past few months. My dad is amazing. I'm going to be fifty this year and my dad loves me like I was ten again.

I just hope I'm a good dad when my kids get older and need me.

Jean Marie
02-23-2008, 10:53 PM
Sorry to hear about this, Jon. Hospice is awesome. Very exceptional people that will care for both Jane and your dad.

We had in-home hospice w/ my dad, and will do the same w/ my mom. That's how I know about hospice.

sandyn
02-23-2008, 11:23 PM
Oh, Spooky...

Cancer is such a horrible thing. Prayers to you and yours, that you will find strength and courage during this difficult time. And prayers that Jane will rest in good hands as I know she will.

Also, prayers that you will be the good father you desire to be.

All the best...

The_Grand_Duchess
02-23-2008, 11:50 PM
I am so sorry. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

TrainofThought
02-24-2008, 12:03 AM
Sorry, Spooky. You are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.

Kerr
02-24-2008, 01:42 AM
I just hope I'm a good dad when my kids get older and need me.

Jon, I'm so sorry to hear about your family's suffering. But I think your dad knows you're a sensitive soul and loves you the more for it. Call him often, now and later. It makes him happy, too.

KTC
02-24-2008, 03:08 AM
My father is about to lose his wife from brain cancer. I was told recently that she has a few days at the most. I don't know her very well, but I do know she loved my dad very much. I also know they shared so much for such a long time.

I don't know how to comfort my father.

But I will try.

I've asked my children to call their grandfather since I know this time is so difficult.

My family all wishes the best for our father and a peaceful happiness for Jane as she will be with her lord, and savior.



I'm so sorry to hear this, Jon. I know you will find a way to comfort your father. You're a good person and you know he is hurting now and that he will be hurting deeper when she passes. If you know this, you will find a way to ease his pain. Just be a son. That'll be what he needs.

Susie
02-24-2008, 06:21 AM
So sorry, Jon. Prayers are sent to you and yours and know you will know how to comfort your father. :Hug2:

Haggis
02-24-2008, 06:29 AM
My best for you and your dad, Jon. May her passing be swift and peaceful.

Angie
02-24-2008, 08:37 PM
I just hope I'm a good dad when my kids get older and need me.

Well, even when we don't want to end up like our parents, we somehow do. I'm sure you'll be just as great a dad.

reigningcatsndogs
02-24-2008, 10:53 PM
I'm sorry, Jon. :Hug2:

Angelinity
02-24-2008, 10:58 PM
sorry spook... growing up is tough if only because death crosses our paths more often. and closer to home.

i don't think you can take away his hurt. just love him.

peace.

clockwork
02-27-2008, 05:48 AM
Yikes, how did I miss this thread?

Jon, I don't know what to say. I hope you're doing OK. All I can really add is that my grandad died in a hospice last year and it was just about as peaceful as we could have hoped for - those people are real angels and it made his passing much easier for the family to deal with.

Wishing you peace,

DWSTXS
02-27-2008, 05:58 AM
We will all pray for Jane, and your family. If you need a shoulder, you are among friends here.

SpookyWriter
02-27-2008, 06:02 AM
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. I am especially concerned for Jane. As I am worried for my father because he's getting up their in age and his wife isn't doing so good now. I can only wish that her final days are painless and filled with family, friends, and loved ones. I don't know what else I can do.

CatSlave
02-27-2008, 06:08 AM
Prayers and condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.

K1P1
02-27-2008, 06:09 AM
Hey Jon, how are you, your dad and your stepmother doing?

SpookyWriter
02-27-2008, 06:21 AM
Hey Jon, how are you, your dad and your stepmother doing?Hi K1P1, I talked to my dad this weekend. He's holding up okay. Jane is under a lot of medication for the pain. But from what my dad told me, she's alert and visiting. Her mom and daughter came down from Vegas to visit and will return home with Dolly, the proper pup. I liked Dolly. She's a good dog and she actually likes me. Go figure.

K1P1
02-27-2008, 06:30 AM
I'm glad the pain meds aren't keeping her completely out of it, and that her family was able to visit. It's so valuable to everyone to have those last few words.

A. Hamilton
02-27-2008, 06:40 AM
so sorry to hear this Jon.

Pat~
02-27-2008, 08:26 AM
Jon, I'm so sorry to hear about this. A friend of mine died a year ago, and hospice was so good with her...they knew how to care for and comfort her by the hour. Prayers for your family have been sent...

Southern_girl29
02-27-2008, 09:06 AM
I'm so sorry, Jon. My granny was under in-home hospice care before she died in December, and they were wonderful. They even allowed her to stay in the house until all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren could arrive, after she had passed. Nothing really helps, no words at all, but having someone to lean on is a good thing. I know you'll be there for your dad.

Yeshanu
02-28-2008, 02:23 AM
Will add my prayers for you and yours to all the others, Jon. :Hug2:

SpookyWriter
02-29-2008, 07:38 AM
You've got to love the kids. Here's what my daughter wrote me tonight.



Ryan and I are going to plan to try and get a hold of grandpa and Jane this weekend to try and see them. That is so horrible I feel so bad for the both of them.

SpookyWriter
04-30-2008, 05:41 AM
Jane passed away this afternoon around 3:00pm, Arizona time. My family was there beside her. She died in her sleep, peacefully.

Rest peaceful, and remember we love you.

Cranky
04-30-2008, 05:50 AM
I'm very sorry for your loss, Spooky.

Haggis
04-30-2008, 05:55 AM
Jane passed away this afternoon around 3:00pm, Arizona time. My family was there beside her. She died in her sleep, peacefully.


We all gotta go sometime. That's the way to do it.

My condolences, Jon. And to your family as well.

Joe270
04-30-2008, 05:56 AM
My deepest condolences, Spooky.

tjwriter
04-30-2008, 06:00 AM
You have my sympathies, Spook. In my thoughts and prayers.

reigningcatsndogs
04-30-2008, 07:31 AM
I am so sorry Jon. :Hug2:
She's at rest now. Sending prayers for you and your family

Mom'sWrite
04-30-2008, 07:42 AM
Jon-

I'm here in the Phoenix area (East valley). PM me if there is anything I can do to help your dad or his wife.

I just went through watching my dad succumb to pancreatic cancer. He was in the care of Hospice of the Valley. I can't say enough good things about those people. I know that your dad's wife will have the very best care and so will your dad.

Mom'sWrite
04-30-2008, 07:44 AM
Jane passed away this afternoon around 3:00pm, Arizona time. My family was there beside her. She died in her sleep, peacefully.

Rest peaceful, and remember we love you.

Oh my, I didn't see this. My sincerest condolences Jon and still if there is anything I can do to help your dad just let me know.

JimmyB27
04-30-2008, 02:26 PM
Condolences, Jon. I agree with Haggis, we have to go someday, and at least she went peacefully.

KTC
04-30-2008, 02:28 PM
Sorry for your loss, Jon. I'm glad she had her family around her when she passed.

sunna
04-30-2008, 02:32 PM
I'm glad it was a peaceful end, with her family there.

Condolonces to you and your family, Spooky.

kct webber
04-30-2008, 02:35 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your father's wife. You have my sympathy, Spooky. I'm glad to here that she went peacfully. Hope you and your family are doing alright.

JJ Cooper
04-30-2008, 02:48 PM
Thoughts are with you and your family, Jon.

JJ

Stew21
04-30-2008, 02:49 PM
thinking of you and yours, Jon.
As you let your father lean on you in the coming days and weeks, don't forget that if the load is too much, you can lean on us for relief.

Don Allen
04-30-2008, 03:30 PM
Be strong Spooky, it's never easy, the worst part of life for those left behind but a tight family in these times sure helps, prayers for you bud......

ACEnders
04-30-2008, 04:40 PM
Oh Spooky, I'm praying for your father. I'm praying that you'll find the right words and the right way to comfort him when the time comes. I'm so sorry.

quickWit
04-30-2008, 05:11 PM
So sorry for your loss Spooky.

Peace.