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View Full Version : Phrases you never thought you'd hear yourself say



auntybug
02-22-2008, 06:56 PM
One of my cats was driving me nuts meowing & circling my feet... I couldn't figure out what her problem was. I checked the food - it was fine. I finally discovered the water was empty & hollered:

"Damnit! Learn to drink out of the toilet like a normal cat!" Hubby about died laughing...

That rates right up there with:

" HON!!! Help me move the refrigerator! Gil (the fish) is stuck on it between it & the counter!" (don't ask ;) )

You? Pet or not pet related.

Gravity
02-22-2008, 07:35 PM
The first time I ever said "back when I was a kid" to my son, I knew I'd officially entered geezerhood. And you know something? It ain't bad! Fifty-six years old and still rockin'...

Silver King
02-22-2008, 07:36 PM
I find myself recycling phrases my parents used while I was growing up. I disliked them at the time but understand their significance now. Like when I grounded my son recently, and he was very angry, I said, "Hate me today, love me tomorrow."

I expect he'll appreciate that statement when he's older. Or maybe not.

Bmwhtly
02-22-2008, 07:38 PM
A year or so ago, my sister called me to ask my advice. She was playing Grand Theft Auto and kept getting killed.

The three people nearest me heard me tell her:
"I don't care how many hookers are chasing you! I'm at work"

davids
02-22-2008, 07:38 PM
CHASTIZIPATING THE BOY WHO IS NOW A MAN-IF YOU EVER GROW UP JUNIOR COME AND GET ME WILL YA? HE UNDERSTOOD THAT HIS DAD WAS NOT MUCH OF A GROWN UP-SO IT MADE SENSE TO HIM. AUNTY THE CAT LINE IS FOR THE AGES-LOVE DAVE

maxmordon
02-22-2008, 07:39 PM
"and that is the real reality"

sheadakota
02-22-2008, 07:42 PM
Get your finger out of your sisters nose!

joyce
02-22-2008, 07:43 PM
I find myself recycling phrases my parents used while I was growing up. I disliked them at the time but understand their significance now. Like when I grounded my son recently, and he was very angry, I said, "Hate me today, love me tomorrow."

I expect he'll appreciate that statement when he's older. Or maybe not.

Same here. Oh how I swore I would not be like them when I was a teen, but now I'm them. My dad use to tell us when we complained about being cold waiting for the bus (Fl maybe 40's) that he had to walk a mile to school in the snow that was up to his knees. I use to tell my daughter when she complained that I remember walking a mile to school in the sand that was up to my knees. I used my dad's statement just revised it to Florida.:D Oh my, I've turned into my parents.

maxmordon
02-22-2008, 07:43 PM
"I swear I thought it was vanilla ice cream"

CaroGirl
02-22-2008, 07:45 PM
Almost everything I've ever said to my kids. From "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it," to "Stop shoving cheese in your sister's ear."

Maryn
02-22-2008, 11:04 PM
We all become our parents, I think. In a way, it makes me miss them less--I am them. As in when I user "family language" nonsense or favorite words like gok, doctor (which doesn't mean doctor), or switcher, or family silliness like calling one another by almost any name except the correct one. (I'm Mim, mostly. Our daughter, currently the Grumkin, is working on her PhD and will one day be Dr. Um, while our son has enough names to fill the page, from Waldemyr to Wobbert the Bruise to Tomato-head.)

So I guess I never thought I'd pick up the phone and say, "Um, it's Mim. I'm thinking Wobbert needs goks. Want to come over and help, or are you too doctor?"

Maryn, to whom that makes perfect sense

JoNightshade
02-22-2008, 11:10 PM
"Rise and shine!"

Oh man, how I always wanted to kill my mom when she said that. Now I do it to my husband.

Oberon
02-23-2008, 01:07 AM
Same here. Oh how I swore I would not be like them when I was a teen, but now I'm them. My dad use to tell us when we complained about being cold waiting for the bus (Fl maybe 40's) that he had to walk a mile to school in the snow that was up to his knees. I use to tell my daughter when she complained that I remember walking a mile to school in the sand that was up to my knees. I used my dad's statement just revised it to Florida.:D Oh my, I've turned into my parents.

I actually, in truth, for a fact, did walk over a mile through snow up to my knees (Jackson, Wyoming, check it out), occasionally my father and another adult breaking trail for the kids in the neighborhood. And back home for lunch, back to school, back home after school. We didn't think anything about it. Nobody was driven to school except the "ranch kids" who came in on a bus. I can't say anything about it, I get "Oh no, not again." So I try not to mention it when the subject comes up (except here).

kellytijer
02-23-2008, 01:09 AM
To my three year old son:

"Putting that DVD in my butt will not make the movie play out of my mouth."

Voyager
02-23-2008, 01:11 AM
Why don't you just do drugs like normal children?

BenPanced
02-23-2008, 01:16 AM
"20 years ago..." or "25 years ago..." or even the dreaded "30 years ago..."

They're playing the songs I listened to as a teenager on the oldies stations!

jannawrites
02-23-2008, 01:18 AM
"Stop that, or I'll jerk a knot in your tail!" My mom always said that to my sister and me, and now I say it to my own two girls. Criminy.

CurtisCandy
02-23-2008, 01:25 AM
To my three year old son:

"Putting that DVD in my butt will not make the movie play out of my mouth."

All right!

There's one potentially painful experience I can cross off my list of things to try out on myself!




...A few of these others still have me worried, though...



:D

Joycecwilliams
02-23-2008, 04:10 PM
Well this made my kids laugh.

Don't talk with your mouth opened..

Patrick L
02-23-2008, 04:23 PM
Not tonight.

Joycecwilliams
02-23-2008, 04:26 PM
Not tonight.

Guess that's why you're looking for a home.. :)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-23-2008, 06:00 PM
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall... I AM my mother, after all!"


"20 years ago..." or "25 years ago..." or even the dreaded "30 years ago..."

They're playing the songs I listened to as a teenager on the oldies stations!

Yeah, well, just wait'll you can say '40 years ago...'

And then you'll notice that they're not only playing your songs on oldies stations, they've turned them into elevator muzak!

nerds
02-23-2008, 06:11 PM
As with most of the above, all from my parents, once I became one myself -


It's your funeral. Prior to some risky undertaking by son and buddies, such as climbing 80' Douglas firs or BMXing airborne off homemade ramps.

I'll leave you to your own devices. Applicable to the above.

Think of the starving children in ____________. Fill in country of one's choice, used nightly at suppertime when son confronted vegetables on plate.

I'm going to stop this car right here and you'll be walking home.

TrainofThought
02-23-2008, 07:39 PM
To my boss: “Since I’m not in the mood to work, can I just go home?”

Co-Worker: “Why did you get a tattoo?”
Me: “So my mom can identify my body.”

Co-Worker: “What happened? You used to be thin.”
Me: “It’s called Life. Why don’t you get one.”

Guy in bar: “Why aren’t you married?”
Me: “I didn’t think the blood test was worth it.”

Talking to my niece and nephew: "When I was young..." :(

Kerr
02-23-2008, 07:45 PM
"I hope you have a teenager someday just like you!"
My oldest still has nightmares over that one. heehe

GeorgieB
02-23-2008, 07:54 PM
I can relate to the "walk a mile through the snow from school" theme. I did it, we all did it in northern Minnesota. We could take a bus both ways up to the seventh grade. After that we got a ride to school, but had to walk home. It didn't bother us, we thought that's the way the whole world worked.

I don't tell my kids about that anymore. I don't think they believed me when I first told them and they wouldn't believe it now.

A famous (at least in northern Minnesota) saying: A mother to her son who was going swimming with us in an open-pit mine, "If you drown, don't come home!"

sunna
02-23-2008, 08:00 PM
"When I was your age..." I hated hearing that when I was younger; I hate hearing myself say it, but it's always too late when I realize I've done it.

"Nah, I think I'll stay in tonight," to my friends, when they invite me out to go bar hopping or to a party. It wasn't very long ago I said yes to every invitation. *sigh*

"I wrote a novel." (but that one's fun)


One I never thought I'd hear - last week I got a few beers at a local gas station. The counter girl asked for ID. I've never been carded there. She must have seen my surprise, because as I was leaving she called out very earnestly, "And ma'am, you look really young for your age!"

I spent the rest of the night hoping she'd screwed up her math and added a decade to the age she thought I was. :cry:

czjaba
02-23-2008, 08:32 PM
'Because I said so....' to my 6-year-old.

'Which balls do I cover first?' on the phone with a friend, I was supposed to be working, and Hubby comes around the corner and that's the only part he heard while I was asking advice about a computer game where you push the blocks to cover the balls

'Please get your face out of my butt.' to my 3-year-old who likes to tackle people from behind--she runs and grabs hold and doesn't let go

Sean D. Schaffer
02-23-2008, 08:48 PM
"I'm old enough to remember when..."

"Back when I was a kid..."

And others, I'm sure, although I don't know what they would be at the moment. :)


--Sean

bluntforcetrauma
02-23-2008, 09:55 PM
In our teens, my brother ran out of gas and wanted to get some from my tank. I handed him the ciphon hose and he just looked at it like he didn't know what to do. To which I said:

"What are you staring at, it ain't gonna suck itself."

Didn't realize what I said until he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

sandyn
02-23-2008, 10:41 PM
"Don't do as I do, do as I say."

One of my mother's favs when we were little...recycled by me to my own children.

KikiteNeko
02-24-2008, 06:45 AM
"When I was your age, pluto was a planet."

I said this to my little cousin, and then I felt old.

Susie
02-24-2008, 08:18 AM
I never thought I'd say, "I just love playing among the chocolate fairies. :D

Sean D. Schaffer
02-24-2008, 09:58 PM
From a rep point I just sent someone:

Ah, those were the days!

I was speaking of the days when Halley's Comet was called Haley's Comet. I don't remember when they changed the name, but it was sometime in the late 80's, I think.

But my point is, my saying "Those were the days" caught me off-guard. :D I never really thought I'd be saying that.


--Sean

Nakhlasmoke
02-24-2008, 11:16 PM
I run through all the names of all the family members and pets until i hit the one I'm looking for. Just like my mother does.

Well, at least I haven't yet made a big bowl of tea for the dogs because they got caught in the rain...

DamaNegra
02-24-2008, 11:37 PM
"When I was your age..." Dammit!! That made me feel old... and I'm not even old! :(

"I don't want to die of love, I want to live for love." Yeah :D I actually said that one out loud to freak out a friend. Mission accomplished!

"Meh, kids these days are all screwed up. I wasn't that bad when I was a kid."

Moon Wolf
02-24-2008, 11:48 PM
My mother thinks the funniest line I ever stated was:

"KODY! Drop that GERBIL!"

From me to a cat that was sneaking off with a gerbil in its mouth. ><