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View Full Version : "20 Tacky Religious Products Guaranteed to Anger God"



jst5150
02-21-2008, 08:45 PM
The cat menorah is killing me.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15899_20-tacky-religious-products-guaranteed-anger-god.html

talps
02-21-2008, 08:48 PM
:ROFL: Testamints... :ROFL:

Red-Green
02-21-2008, 08:56 PM
Wow. Gives a whole new meaning to "dog in the manger." I actually have some Testamints, though. They're not as good as those heathen Altoids.

Sarita
02-21-2008, 08:58 PM
I need to get me one of those white chocolate jew bears... :ROFL: Oooo and a Pope Cake!

DonnaDuck
02-21-2008, 09:02 PM
Lets see--while I don't have the whole Lookin' Good For Jesus kit, I do have the chapstick. I also have a bobble head Jesus, Jesus pencil toppers (nothing says holy like sodomizing Jesus with an eraser) and Jesus bandaids. Apparently, I'm going right to hell. And yes, I really do have these things. It's my dad's sense of demented humor. I blame him.

C.bronco
02-21-2008, 09:03 PM
I want the ten plagues of Egypt toys!!!! Break those out at a party and watch the fun begin! :D
I'm sure God has a great sense of humor; He let me walk the Earth.

talps
02-21-2008, 09:06 PM
I just wanna know why their Home & Garden annex isn't selling Psalm Trees...

eldragon
02-21-2008, 09:09 PM
Too bad OJ wasn't wearing his "Jesus loves you footwear," the night of the murders.


The trial would have been much shorter.

bluntforcetrauma
02-21-2008, 09:12 PM
I wonder why G-d doesn't hit some people in the head with a hammer.

benbradley
02-21-2008, 09:45 PM
Oh my...now I'm hearing that song in my head:

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my Plastic Jesus
Hanging on the dashboard of my car!"

And I remember what the computer program "P1" asked about the Pope in classic SF novel "The Adolescence of P1."

melaniehoo
02-21-2008, 09:48 PM
I think I've had the Pope Cake.

Or maybe it was Little Debby. Looked like that anyway.

kristie911
02-21-2008, 09:48 PM
Jesus pencil toppers (nothing says holy like sodomizing Jesus with an eraser)

:roll:

Best laugh of the day!

:roll:

PattiTheWicked
02-21-2008, 09:52 PM
I'm guessing it would be inappropriate for me to add a link to the Divine Interventions god-themed sex toy website.

Devil Ledbetter
02-21-2008, 10:08 PM
You could get the Baby Jesus cookie cutter and make dog biscuits.

Yes, there is something very wrong with those products.

kristie911
02-21-2008, 10:23 PM
You could get the Baby Jesus cookie cutter and make dog biscuits.

Yes, there is something very wrong with those products.

It would be a good way to keep from eating the cookies I make. I feel creepy biting the heads of gingerbread men...I think biting the head of Baby Jesus would be a problem for me. :roll:

Voyager
02-21-2008, 10:27 PM
Where the hell are all the Jesus on black velvet paintings and the Virgin of Guadalupe clocks where her arms mark the time? No Mexicans working at Cracked???

Adam Israel
02-21-2008, 10:41 PM
I'm disappointed Buddy Jesus wasn't on the list:

http://battleaxe.net/~stone/jesus.jpg

Devil Ledbetter
02-21-2008, 10:46 PM
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1113/544430923_058005b454.jpg

This image is called "Vulvic Mary."

CBeasy
02-21-2008, 10:48 PM
Man, just, man. I'm totally ordering a case of Jew Bears.

kristie911
02-21-2008, 10:56 PM
I'm disappointed Buddy Jesus wasn't on the list:

http://battleaxe.net/~stone/jesus.jpg

HOLY F--K! You should put a warning on shit like that! I have to sleep tonight! *shivers*

I don't think that Jesus...it's the BK Kings religious cousin Flaco.

Maryn
02-21-2008, 11:57 PM
These are wonderful. It must have been very hard to select only twenty, and to have to pass over items like this (http://www.jesuspan.com/). Like Patti, I'll have to exercise some restraint on pointing at others that made me howl, lest I offend.

Maryn, inoffensive

Skyraven
02-23-2008, 09:21 AM
I'm disappointed Buddy Jesus wasn't on the list:

http://battleaxe.net/~stone/jesus.jpg

I KNOW!!! That's exactly what I was thinking! Spoooky

Beaker
02-23-2008, 12:05 PM
I actually have a Buddy Christ figurine in my living room. No lie.

HeronW
02-23-2008, 02:30 PM
okay, God is either really pissed, or she's laughing her ass off and blocking my server:
Server Error in '/' Application
?

Cassiopeia
02-23-2008, 02:35 PM
I get a link error :(

dpaterso
02-23-2008, 02:54 PM
Does anyone honestly believe the server error is just coincidence?

-Derek

bluntforcetrauma
02-23-2008, 03:52 PM
Does anyone honestly believe the server error is just coincidence?

-Derek

Not on your life!

benbradley
02-23-2008, 04:14 PM
Where the hell are all the Jesus on black velvet paintings and the Virgin of Guadalupe clocks where her arms mark the time? No Mexicans working at Cracked???
The Black Velvet Paintings are reserverd for A True Deity: Elvis!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1113/544430923_058005b454.jpg

This image is called "Vulvic Mary."
Glad I wasn't driving when I read that... (don't surf and drive, folks). Now if only that image were on a Volvo...

These are wonderful. It must have been very hard to select only twenty, and to have to pass over items like this (http://www.jesuspan.com/). Like Patti, I'll have to exercise some restraint on pointing at others that made me howl, lest I offend.

Maryn, inoffensive
Say it ain't so! THAT pic offers a mundane expalnatation for (yet another song) "Jesus in a Tortila:"
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=60578616

Not on your life!
Oh, the server error - I get the original link (http://www.cracked.com/article_15899_20-tacky-religious-products-guaranteed-anger-god.html) just fine, but then I don't rely on heaven.org for DNS service.

Joycecwilliams
02-23-2008, 04:24 PM
I think it's disgusting. Reminds me of the Dylan song
License to Kill

"Sell his body like they do used cars"

LloydBrown
02-23-2008, 07:49 PM
How does the Baby Jesus Butt Plug NOT top this list?

Kerr
02-23-2008, 08:19 PM
http://amphigorous.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!ADB96A62F613D8D9!220.entry

Nobody has ever said it better than Richard Harris.

LIVIN
02-23-2008, 08:29 PM
Awesome! Where do I sign up? I'd like three of each, please.

Shady Lane
02-23-2008, 08:35 PM
If anyone hear really loves me, they'll get me the plagues of Egypt toy for my birthday.

aruna
02-23-2008, 08:49 PM
Can't leave out those pesky Hindus....

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/HinduFingerPuppets.jpg

julie thorpe
02-23-2008, 08:50 PM
This thread reminds me of the card I saw that read "I found Jesus today, and he was under the sofa all the time"

CatSlave
02-23-2008, 08:56 PM
You could get the Baby Jesus cookie cutter and make dog biscuits.
What about developing cookies in the style of reverse Oreos, two host wafers iced together with a chocolate filling.
Call them 'Sweet Jesus.'

Or in the summertime, a cool treat for the parochial school kids: Popesickles.

*burning in Hell*

ETA: Before anyone castigates me, see the link for Christian sex toys:
http://www.mybelovedsgarden.net/

Christine N.
02-23-2008, 09:20 PM
Click through until you find the bit about the Sci-Fi/Fantasy covers...

CatSlave
02-23-2008, 09:36 PM
Can't leave out those pesky Hindus....

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/HinduFingerPuppets.jpg
I love it.
An equal opportunity satire thread; no belief system is safe.

Now, how about them Scientologists?

joyce
02-23-2008, 09:49 PM
I guess when you aren't in the mood you can wear your Armor of God Pajamas. :D

Silver King
02-23-2008, 09:50 PM
ETA: Before anyone castigates me, see the link for Christian sex toys: http://www.mybelovedsgarden.net/
I found this part to be enlightening:

Welcome! We provide a safe, non-pornographic place to shop for all your Christian sex toys and romance needs while keeping Jesus at the center of your marriage.

CatSlave
02-23-2008, 09:53 PM
I found this part to be enlightening:

Welcome! We provide a safe, non-pornographic place to shop for all your Christian sex toys and romance needs while keeping Jesus at the center of your marriage.
Would that kind of threesome be considered naughty?

Silver King
02-23-2008, 10:02 PM
Would that kind of threesome be considered naughty?
We know that sex sells. And so does religion. Combining the two to sell products is brilliant.

DWSTXS
02-23-2008, 10:04 PM
I need to get me one of those white chocolate jew bears... :ROFL: Oooo and a Pope Cake!

This is Mel Gibson's favorite candy too!