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Joycecwilliams
02-21-2008, 05:56 PM
My husband and I agreed along time ago, to share with one another if we are attracted to another person and things like that... We have had some very interesting and long conversations on the matter. My friend thinks that I am in wrong in telling him these things.

What do you folks do?

Devil Ledbetter
02-21-2008, 06:14 PM
I keep my crushes entirely to myself, and thank him to do the same.

joyce
02-21-2008, 06:19 PM
My opinion with everything regarding my husband and I....honesty is not always the best policy.:D

Bmwhtly
02-21-2008, 06:23 PM
How Much Do You Tell Your Partner?I tell them where the vault is and how much time we'll have and then he decides the best way to break in.

...

Oh, you meant romantical partner?
umm...
Forget I said anything.

auntybug
02-21-2008, 06:35 PM
How Much Do You Tell Your Partner?

Everything. He knows my weakness... I'm a shameful flirt ... droll on a great set on "firm man titties" ... oogle cute actors ... and yes, tease him about AW dudes... He knows I'm faithful & if it gets me hot & bothered - I take it out on him ;)

He's never threatened by it but some guys might be... he never teases me back about women though..... he's a smart cookie:D

Pat~
02-21-2008, 06:42 PM
My husband and I agreed along time ago, to share with one another if we are attracted to another person and things like that... We have had some very interesting and long conversations on the matter. My friend thinks that I am in wrong in telling him these things.

What do you folks do?

My husband knows I have a thing for Harrison Ford. ;)

Seriously, I think there are two levels of attraction: one is a threat to the relationship, and the other is not. The one that's the threat to the relationship is the one that needs discussing...especially because it's an indicator that there's a serious rift in your relationship with your partner. There's a need or a problem that is not being addressed. It happens in the best of relationships--the tricky thing is being able to step back and see what's happening and why, and to deal with it with your partner in a healthy way.

czjaba
02-21-2008, 06:58 PM
I think it depends on what type of 'attraction' you are referring to. There are guys that have certain qualities that I like, and I'll share comments with my husband. And he will do the same (make comments about other women). I think it is a natural, healthy way to have a relationship. I am secure enough in our relationship not to be offended if he comments on a leggy blonde and when Ace Young was on Idol last year, my husband knew better than to try to talk to me. My attention was already taken.

Lyra Jean
02-21-2008, 07:04 PM
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We love to talk to each other on the phone but our different work schedules makes it difficult since we are either choosing to talk to each other or get stuff that we need to get done at home or hang out with other friends. One is always giving up something. This is has been September and although we love talking to each other it is getting old.

He is moving up to where I am and is saving money right now. He's at the halfway mark. I knew this relationship would be difficult because of the distance but he's worth it. We both promised each other from the beginning that we wouldn't play games with each other and so far we are working out great. I'm so excited that he will be able to move up to be with me.

Oh I met him on the internet and this being an internet board I hope no one decides that my boyfriend is pure evil cause of it. Not saying that anyone on here would but I've gotten that reaction before. I tell someone about my boyfriend and they are smiley and superhappy for me until they ask me how we met and then it's like I'm talking to a completely different person. What's up with that?

Shadow_Ferret
02-21-2008, 07:19 PM
My husband and I agreed along time ago, to share with one another if we are attracted to another person and things like that...

No! Hell no! We don't share things like that beyond saying such and such an actor or actress is cute.

Heck, if we did that we'd be in divorce court so fast my head would spin because I'm attracted to every woman I see during the day.

So I keep that to myself.

quickWit
02-21-2008, 07:23 PM
My wife and I don't speak unless you count her telling me to STFU.

God, I love that woman! :D

Kevin Yarbrough
02-21-2008, 07:36 PM
How much do I tell my partner?

If I had a lot to drink, about ten minutes.

Adam Israel
02-21-2008, 07:58 PM
Oh I met him on the internet and this being an internet board I hope no one decides that my boyfriend is pure evil cause of it. Not saying that anyone on here would but I've gotten that reaction before. I tell someone about my boyfriend and they are smiley and superhappy for me until they ask me how we met and then it's like I'm talking to a completely different person. What's up with that?

I'm certainly not going to be one to judge. I met my better half on the internet (and this board in particular). I have noticed some people having the same kind of reaction you've experienced. I think that's largely due to all of the news stories you see about stalkers and pedophiles using the internet to prey on people, in addition to the urge to protect those we know/love. Don't be hard on them, they're looking out for your best interests and they've been conditioned to distrust people from the internet.

Oh, an to answer the OP, I tell her everything.

Joycecwilliams
02-21-2008, 08:07 PM
Everything. He knows my weakness... I'm a shameful flirt ... droll on a great set on "firm man titties" ... oogle cute actors ... and yes, tease him about AW dudes... He knows I'm faithful & if it gets me hot & bothered - I take it out on him ;)

He's never threatened by it but some guys might be... he never teases me back about women though..... he's a smart cookie:D

This is more like what my relationship is with my husband. We even set up rules with each other about what bothers us and what doesn't. It works out fine, unless one of us breaks the rules..

Autodidact
02-21-2008, 08:10 PM
Hmmm. My general policy with the lovely gf, my collaborator in life, is that I'm open and honest about everything, as I want the most intimate and real relationship possible. I've told her from the get-go that I like to look at nice-looking women, but so far have not had any interest in doing any more than that, so there's been nothing to disclose. I feel completely comfortable saying that so-and-so is a hottie or whatever, because V. knows that I'm completely nuts about her, so doesn't feel threatened. But what if (odd to consider) I developed an actual crush on someone else? I guess I'd have to tell her, which would be difficult for us. I guess I'll hope and seek for this not to happen.

Red-Green
02-21-2008, 09:01 PM
Movie/TV boyfriends and girlfriends are fine, because it's unlikely I'll bump into Javier Bardem in the grocery store, is it?

As much of our marriage is long distance, though, hubby and I agree crushing on real people is not allowed. Temptation must be averted.

Joycecwilliams
02-21-2008, 09:06 PM
Movie/TV boyfriends and girlfriends are fine, because it's unlikely I'll bump into Javier Bardem in the grocery store, is it?

As much of our marriage is long distance, though, hubby and I agree crushing on real people is not allowed. Temptation must be averted.

I can understand in along distance marriage..

rhymegirl
02-21-2008, 09:08 PM
I only confide in my therapist.

bluntforcetrauma
02-21-2008, 09:26 PM
"I've seen you eyeing some Corvettes. But if you ever take a ride in one, you'd better have full coverage insurance." The Missus

rhymegirl
02-21-2008, 09:28 PM
"I've seen you eyeing some Corvettes. But if you ever take a ride in one, you'd better have full coverage insurance." The Missus

That sounds like good advice.

Joycecwilliams
02-21-2008, 09:30 PM
"I've seen you eyeing some Corvettes. But if you ever take a ride in one, you'd better have full coverage insurance." The Missus

Corvettes are all they are cracked up to be. Had two. :) I know you were implying other things..

bluntforcetrauma
02-21-2008, 09:30 PM
That sounds like good advice.

Keeps me on the straight and narrow.

KTC
02-21-2008, 09:33 PM
My wife and I are hopelessly devoted to... well, each other.

rhymegirl
02-21-2008, 09:36 PM
My wife and I are hopelessly devoted to... well, each other.

Isn't that a song by Olivia Newton-John?

"Hopelessly devoted to you..."

Can't remember the rest of the lyrics.

JoNightshade
02-21-2008, 09:41 PM
My husband knows I have a thing for Harrison Ford. ;)

Seriously, I think there are two levels of attraction: one is a threat to the relationship, and the other is not. The one that's the threat to the relationship is the one that needs discussing...especially because it's an indicator that there's a serious rift in your relationship with your partner. There's a need or a problem that is not being addressed. It happens in the best of relationships--the tricky thing is being able to step back and see what's happening and why, and to deal with it with your partner in a healthy way.

Ditto to this. PARTICULARLY the bit about Harrison Ford. :)

As Redzilla said, Mr. Nightshade and I feel free to point out actors and such we think are attractive, because we don't really think of them as real people. We'd never meet them.

Both of us are the kind of people who fall emotionally before physical - what I mean is that we don't find people attractive until we know who they are. So for us, crushing on someone in real life would be a Big Issue. Fortunately as long as we maintain a close relationship and conduct ourselves appropriately around members of the opposite sex, this should not be a problem.

Also, Mr. Nightshade works in an all-male environment. MUAHAHAHA!

JLCwrites
02-21-2008, 09:44 PM
We tell each other everything.

Mr. Turkey is my best friend... I can't imagine hiding anything from him.

KTC
02-21-2008, 09:46 PM
Isn't that a song by Olivia Newton-John?

"Hopelessly devoted to you..."

Can't remember the rest of the lyrics.


You're a dork. I have one word for you. Grease. It's the word that you heard.

rhymegirl
02-21-2008, 09:49 PM
You're a dork. I have one word for you. Grease. It's the word that you heard.

I used to call Olivia Newton-John Olivia Fig Newton.

Grease is the word.

Read any interesting manuscripts lately???

JoNightshade
02-21-2008, 09:50 PM
I just realized I didn't actually answer the question. :)

Yes, we tell each other everything. We're best friends as well as lovers, so we share pretty much everything. I think openness and honesty is what keeps a relationship alive, and if you're hiding something then that's probably the very thing that needs to be addressed.

Stew21
02-21-2008, 09:56 PM
Mr. Stew knows he's the only one for me. I know I'm the only one for him. We don't discuss things like finding someone attractive because it's a non-issue. I find lots of people attractive. I like to flirt. It's no threat to him - he knows I'm not going anywhere. We don't feel the need to discuss it and we trust each other.



Trish, considers herself lucky

dpaterso
02-21-2008, 10:13 PM
The thing is, there's not much to tell. We joke with each other about stuff like that, as if we're living some kind of bed-hopping soap opera. She laughs when I tell her I know that no matter what she gets up to, she'll always come home for dinner. Unless it's Richard Gere, in which case all bets are off.

-Derek

czjaba
02-21-2008, 10:34 PM
Both of us are the kind of people who fall emotionally before physical - what I mean is that we don't find people attractive until we know who they are. So for us, crushing on someone in real life would be a Big Issue. Fortunately as long as we maintain a close relationship and conduct ourselves appropriately around members of the opposite sex, this should not be a problem.



Excellent point. Besides, Hubby and I are home-bodies anyway, except the occasional night out (without the kids) in which we usually end up at a bookstore or a petshop anyway. It's been a long while since we went dancing or to a bar. And even then if we were alone, we stayed to ourselves and if we were with friends, everybody knows the rules, otherwise we wouldn't be with out with them.

The Moirai
02-21-2008, 10:45 PM
Anytime someone has questioned how my fiance and I talk about what attracts us in other people I say, "We're taken, not dead." That usually shuts them up.

Joycecwilliams
02-22-2008, 12:43 AM
I just realized I didn't actually answer the question. :)

Yes, we tell each other everything. We're best friends as well as lovers, so we share pretty much everything. I think openness and honesty is what keeps a relationship alive, and if you're hiding something then that's probably the very thing that needs to be addressed.

That is soo true...

maestrowork
02-22-2008, 01:08 AM
We were very honest and open with each other. The problem? I fell in love pretty easily, and she fell in love even MORE easily. She ended up meeting someone much cuter than I was. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be anyway. But I really appreciate the honesty and openness. I'd hate for our relationship to have been based on lies and secrecy just to put up the appearance. It's better to end it now if we're in love with someone else. Better for everyone involved. That's what I look for in a relationship -- but I'm a big flirt, and it's not fair to someone who's not into that kind of "openness" and can deal with jealousy. That's why it's difficult for me to find someone who can deal with me on that level.

writerterri
02-22-2008, 01:18 AM
I have a crush on all of you here at AW, but I don't post and tell. At all. Ever.


My husband knows when I see a picture of Johnny Depp to close his eyes or his feelings get hurt. Then there are other times when he's reaped from my having a crush on Harrison Ford and Dennis Quaid. I have him come to bed as Indiana Jones or with a baseball uniform on. I call him a Devil Ray for fun. :D

It depends on the couple, really. If it works for you it may not work for another.

I also like what Pat said too.

writerterri
02-22-2008, 01:20 AM
We were very honest and open with each other. The problem? I fell in love pretty easily, and she fell in love even MORE easily. She ended up meeting someone much cuter than I was. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be anyway. But I really appreciate the honesty and openness. I'd hate for our relationship to have been based on lies and secrecy just to put up the appearance. It's better to end it now if we're in love with someone else. Better for everyone involved. That's what I look for in a relationship -- but I'm a big flirt, and it's not fair to someone who's not into that kind of "openness" and can deal with jealousy. That's why it's difficult for me to find someone who can deal with me on that level.

That tramp, KTC! How dare him hurt you like that!

Seriously, cuter than you? Is that possible?

Red-Green
02-22-2008, 01:27 AM
I don't believe in the "telling everything," because perhaps there are things I might tell Hubzilla that would hurt his feelings. That would be bad.

Example story--I once had a cute FedEx guy. Day in, day out, bringing packages to my office. Really cute. Really flirty. Am I going to tell Hubzilla that my FedEx guy is really cute and flirty, while Hubzilla is sitting in a bunker in Classifiedistan, dodging jihadi bullets? No. Instead, I did what I knew I needed to do. I asked Mr. FedEx to start delivering the packages to the receptionist in the front office. He was slightly hurt, but he's not my husband.

Autodidact
02-22-2008, 01:29 AM
I don't believe in the "telling everything," because perhaps there are things I might tell Hubzilla that would hurt his feelings. That would be bad.

Example story--I once had a cute FedEx guy. Day in, day out, bringing packages to my office. Really cute. Really flirty. Am I going to tell Hubzilla that my FedEx guy is really cute and flirty, while Hubzilla is sitting in a bunker in Classifiedistan, dodging jihadi bullets? No. Instead, I did what I knew I needed to do. I asked Mr. FedEx to start delivering the packages to the receptionist in the front office. He was slightly hurt, but he's not my husband.

I don't know, if I were married to you, Imight find it touching to hear you banished Mr. Fedexcutie to the outer office.

Red-Green
02-22-2008, 01:35 AM
I don't know...I just felt like it was the sort of thing Hubzilla didn't need to hear--that I felt I needed to banish Fedexcutie, because it was clear to me that he was trying to chisel away at my marital fidelity. When you haven't seen your wife in nine months, maybe that would not be reassuring.


I don't know, if I were married to you, Imight find it touching to hear you banished Mr. Fedexcutie to the outer office.

KTC
02-22-2008, 01:37 AM
The thing is, there's not much to tell. We joke with each other about stuff like that, as if we're living some kind of bed-hopping soap opera. She laughs when I tell her I know that no matter what she gets up to, she'll always come home for dinner. Unless it's Richard Gere, in which case all bets are off.

-Derek


What lovely eyebrows you have. ;)

KTC
02-22-2008, 01:40 AM
I don't believe in the "telling everything," because perhaps there are things I might tell Hubzilla that would hurt his feelings. That would be bad.

Example story--I once had a cute FedEx guy. Day in, day out, bringing packages to my office. Really cute. Really flirty. Am I going to tell Hubzilla that my FedEx guy is really cute and flirty, while Hubzilla is sitting in a bunker in Classifiedistan, dodging jihadi bullets? No. Instead, I did what I knew I needed to do. I asked Mr. FedEx to start delivering the packages to the receptionist in the front office. He was slightly hurt, but he's not my husband.


What would have been really funny is if you sent your hubby a Dear John letter complete with a picture of you and Mr. Fedexzilla spending the weekend in Vegas. But that's just me...I enjoy humor that hurts.

Lyra Jean
02-22-2008, 02:24 AM
I'm certainly not going to be one to judge. I met my better half on the internet (and this board in particular). I have noticed some people having the same kind of reaction you've experienced. I think that's largely due to all of the news stories you see about stalkers and pedophiles using the internet to prey on people, in addition to the urge to protect those we know/love. Don't be hard on them, they're looking out for your best interests and they've been conditioned to distrust people from the internet.

Oh, an to answer the OP, I tell her everything.

Friends and family I can understand and I know they care but these are complete strangers who want to know about me and my boyfriend and how we met. I want to say if you want to know and I tell you you have no right to get all pissed off and freak just because they don't approve.

My friends and family all approve and think it's great. They just want me to be happy. Even though I'm only 4'10" and he is 6'4" we get along great. We don't even notice the height difference unless we are in a picture together.

Adam Israel
02-22-2008, 02:28 AM
Friends and family I can understand and I know they care but these are complete strangers who want to know about me and my boyfriend and how we met. I want to say if you want to know and I tell you you have no right to get all pissed off and freak just because they don't approve.



Oh, I know. I've had fun on a few occasions trying to explain it to border security between the US and Canada. I'm just thankful I wasn't escorted to a little windowless room for further questioning ;)

Red-Green
02-22-2008, 03:17 AM
No, that would only have been funny, if later, I discovered that Mr. FedEx had some really creepy sexual fetish that involved pocket pets or macrame. Wahwahwaaaaah!


What would have been really funny is if you sent your hubby a Dear John letter complete with a picture of you and Mr. Fedexzilla spending the weekend in Vegas. But that's just me...I enjoy humor that hurts.

Susie
02-22-2008, 04:47 AM
Mr. Susie and I both have free reign, but if either of us linger too long at the trough, we reel each other in. :)

Joycecwilliams
02-22-2008, 05:49 AM
Mr. Susie and I both have free reign, but if either of us linger too long at the trough, we reel each other in. :)

Love the way you said this... :)

Joycecwilliams
02-22-2008, 05:54 AM
We were very honest and open with each other. The problem? I fell in love pretty easily, and she fell in love even MORE easily. She ended up meeting someone much cuter than I was. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be anyway. But I really appreciate the honesty and openness. I'd hate for our relationship to have been based on lies and secrecy just to put up the appearance. It's better to end it now if we're in love with someone else. Better for everyone involved. That's what I look for in a relationship -- but I'm a big flirt, and it's not fair to someone who's not into that kind of "openness" and can deal with jealousy. That's why it's difficult for me to find someone who can deal with me on that level.

Well sounds more like it was lust. :)

There is nothing wrong with flirting... I love to flirt.. Secrecy is bad...

I wrote a story about an ex love of mine... and I started feeling guilty about it... almost like I was cheating on my husband... but I wasn't. I don't know why I didn't tell him... eventually I did.. AND IT WAS NO BIG DEAL...

However if I would have kept it in, it would have ended up a big deal because of my guilt.

CurtisCandy
02-22-2008, 06:17 AM
I try to keep my crushes to myself, but my wife keeps finding out about them due to the paper trail of restraining orders and the nightstick scars from police beatings as they drag me away from the windows of the objects of my affections.



...I've never been very good at subtlety...

bluntforcetrauma
02-22-2008, 06:17 AM
I have a crush on all of you here at AW.

:DGarsh!

maestrowork
02-22-2008, 06:22 AM
Yeah, the way I look at it is that if you feel you have to hide it, it means it's a bigger deal than it really is. I'd rather just spill and shrug. You know, there are a lot of attractive people out there and we're just human. But we know our boundaries because we're civilized adults, not some animals. Am I to assume that just because you're with me you'd never have fantasies or feelings (whatever it means) about someone else? I know I'm not like that -- I have fantasies about people, but that's just normal. It's not like I'm going to do anything. I'd rather talk about it than keep it in -- it becomes a big deal and you kind of wonder why there's that guilt there to begin with. I'd rather think even though you find someone else attractive and desirable, you come home to ME -- because I'm still BETTER. :D

Obviously, it depends on your partner. If he or she is the jealous type -- or insecure, or whatever, then you need to be careful about what to say or not. But I don't like the jealous type anyway. What's the worse, the type who likes to flirt but forbid me to do the same! What? That's why I said when I'm with someone, I want to be able to be honest on that level -- I'd really hate to start a relationship on a false pretense. I'm a faithful person when I'm committed, but I'm not going to pretend I don't find other people attractive or even sexually desirable. What we DO about it would define how sincere and serious about each other. Unfortunately, in that case I mentioned, I was faithful but she wasn't.

Silver King
02-22-2008, 06:44 AM
In the arena of "telling everything," would you admit to your special someone an attraction to their family member, say a brother or sister? What if it was unintentional, and you would never act on those urges? How would it benefit your relationship to reveal your misplaced desires?

I'm not sure if it's such a great idea to tell anyone everything. Some mystery between couples is often welcome, especially when you've been together for a long time. Over the years, as you discover new facets of your partner, it can enrich your lives to learn new aspects of their experiences you had never known before.

Joycecwilliams
02-22-2008, 08:07 AM
I try to keep my crushes to myself, but my wife keeps finding out about them due to the paper trail of restraining orders and the nightstick scars from police beatings as they drag me away from the windows of the objects of my affections.



...I've never been very good at subtlety...

LOL

KTC
02-22-2008, 08:16 AM
No, that would only have been funny, if later, I discovered that Mr. FedEx had some really creepy sexual fetish that involved pocket pets or macrame. Wahwahwaaaaah!


I just love macrame. Not very warm in the winter, though.

Joycecwilliams
02-22-2008, 08:27 AM
In the arena of "telling everything," would you admit to your special someone an attraction to their family member, say a brother or sister? What if it was unintentional, and you would never act on those urges? How would it benefit your relationship to reveal your misplaced desires?

I'm not sure if it's such a great idea to tell anyone everything. Some mystery between couples is often welcome, especially when you've been together for a long time. Over the years, as you discover new facets of your partner, it can enrich your lives to learn new aspects of their experiences you had never known before.

LOL if I told my husband I was attracted to his brother... he would probably put me in a mental hospital. :)

Seriously.. I would tell him. Gee if I were seriously attracted to my husband's brother, and saw him at family things all the time. My husband knows me so well ... he would know without me telling him.

So if I told him, he would be more at ease that I wasn't pulling something over on him. I know this to be true because a similar situation happened.. My husband told me very nicely that he thought I loved Mr. X... and if Mr. X was going to make happy. I should go to him, although he didn't want me to.. he said that he wanted me to be happy.

God did that blow me away for several reasons... #1. I didn't know I was falling for this guy... until my husband mentioned it.. #2. If my husband loves me that much... I'd be a fool to leave him. Men like him are hard to find. I told the guy not to bother me anymore and that was it...

I don't know how long you have been married, but I have been with my husband for 30 years.. and no joke, we can tell when each other is going to sneeze. I may think I am hiding things from him, but I am only fool myself, if I think he doesn't know. My husband is very intuitive.. when I began labor with our daughter, I didn't scream or yell, just got up from bed and went into the living room. He got up an hour later and before I could say good morning he said"You're in labor." Freaked me out.. but he knows me.... well. Best of all he still loves me..

maestrowork
02-22-2008, 09:26 AM
In the arena of "telling everything," would you admit to your special someone an attraction to their family member, say a brother or sister? What if it was unintentional, and you would never act on those urges? How would it benefit your relationship to reveal your misplaced desires?

I'm not sure if it's such a great idea to tell anyone everything. Some mystery between couples is often welcome, especially when you've been together for a long time. Over the years, as you discover new facets of your partner, it can enrich your lives to learn new aspects of their experiences you had never known before.

Obviously there's a difference between "honesty" and "being rude/crude." I seriously don't see a problem with saying "your sister is a looker" or "your sister really turns head" or even "your sister is hot." So what? Big deal? Now, if you say "your sister is so hot I just want to take her on the kitchen table, now" then that's just rude, even if that's what's on your mind. Actually, I'd say there's something creepy about wanting to have sex with your partner's sibling.

Same thing with "she's really hot and I want to **** her" vs. "she's really hot and if you and I were not together I might have gone out with her..." One is honesty and the other is just rude. One can, of course, decide not to say anything anyway. It's fine. But I think if you lie about it, as in if your wife asks you what you think and you say, "oh she's okay" then I think it's dishonest and disingenuous. There really is nothing wrong with finding another person attractive or even sexually desirable. We're all human. The problem with us saying "he should only have the eyes for me" stems from insecurity and jealousy -- neither is a good thing.

Paichka
02-22-2008, 10:44 AM
...

You know, if my hubs told me he thought my sister was hot, I think I'd be very hurt by that.

If he said she was pretty, I would be totally okay, because she IS pretty. That may be a completely ridiculous semantic difference, but to me, "pretty" implies a natural appreciation for my sister's contribution to our world's overall aesthetic. "Hot" implies he wants to jump her bones, which is wrong on soooooo many levels.

I'm only allowed to tell him when I think girls are hot...he would respectfully prefer that I keep my man-crushes (even on Hollywood Hunks) to myself. I would also prefer that he keep his crushes to HIMself...I don't want to know that he thinks Sophia Bush is hot. Sophia Bush is tiny and weighs about as much as my left leg. To know that he thinks Sophia Bush is hot makes me feel like an enormous Amazon.

Ridiculous, sure, but we don't feel it necessary to share our crushes with each other.

Sarita
02-22-2008, 06:17 PM
In the arena of "telling everything," would you admit to your special someone an attraction to their family member, say a brother or sister? What if it was unintentional, and you would never act on those urges? How would it benefit your relationship to reveal your misplaced desires?My sisters and I all look so much alike. If he didn't think they were hot, I would doubt his attraction to me. My little sister always jokes that she'd be my stand in, should I ever need her. LOL I mean really do look alike.

Kevin Yarbrough
02-22-2008, 07:37 PM
because we're civilized adults, not some animals.

I don't know about that, I've been called an animal a few times.

maestrowork
02-23-2008, 07:08 AM
...Sophia Bush is tiny and weighs about as much as my left leg. To know that he thinks Sophia Bush is hot makes me feel like an enormous Amazon.

Ridiculous, sure, but we don't feel it necessary to share our crushes with each other.

Well, what I said: stems from insecurity and jealousy -- neither is a good thing... ;)

For me, I find many different "types" of people attractive. Thin, curvy, full-figure (I mean, dude, Queen Latifa is hot, just as Keira Knightley is). To say So-and-So is hot doesn't mean those who don't look like her isn't... for me, anyway.

Anthony Matias
02-23-2008, 08:29 AM
Joyce, this is a wonderful thread!

I love my wife more than anything in the whole world and with that said...Of course I don't tell her everything!

I think it's normal to be attracted to other people. In fact, I think it is healthy. Just for me, I don't want to upset my wife by telling her that I find other women attractive because she is known to be a bit jealous.

Joycecwilliams
02-23-2008, 04:05 PM
Joyce, this is a wonderful thread!

I love my wife more than anything in the whole world and with that said...Of course I don't tell her everything!

I think it's normal to be attracted to other people. In fact, I think it is healthy. Just for me, I don't want to upset my wife by telling her that I find other women attractive because she is known to be a bit jealous.

I understand, I get jealous sometimes myself. However I also know that when I am jealous it is because of something inside me. I am either insecure, or my husband is giving something to someone he doesn't give me.

For example. Yesterday afternoon I was to pick up my new car. When I came home my husband said "I have to go plow real fast first.. then we'll go"

Well the dealership was suppose to be open to 8 however they were closed when we got there 7:30 (it's an hour away from my home.)

I complained to my husband that we should've gone earlier. He replied that "He had responsiblity..(refering to his plowing)"

This made me mad and even jealous because I was thinking... Aren't I a responsiblity? I absolutely hate my husband's truck (It is uncomfortable to ride in, the payment is a forture and is strain on our budget as far the gas it uses) and his plowing (I hate the plowing because it leaves me home alone with the kids more than I want to be) and this just added to it..