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Beta wanted for YA novel

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gem1122

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Hi, all. I am about 1/2 way through my WIP and am looking for some feedback on the book's direction.

The story's narrator is a 17 yo who has gotten his new girlfriend pregnant (now she won't talk to him). Throughout his senior year of high school, he makes several attempts to get her back -- from writing love notes to finding a respectable career. What he realizes is that life and love are not that simple. As she slowly lets him be a part of the preganancy, and as he stumbles through it all, he realizes just what it means to be a father...and just what it means to love.

The novel is structured as the narrator's English 12 journal. I know, I know -- cliche... I thought that it being written by a male -- who is resistant to writing at first -- would provide a fresh take on the diary-as-book. It also works out well in terms of time: 40 weeks of school, 40 journal topics, 40 'chapters', 40 weeks of the pregnancy....

Here's my concern: at this point (about 32k words), the novel feels mired down by the journal structure. It's difficult to keep an authentic voice while trying to write specific scenes (who writes like that?). There are aspects of the format that I like, but I'm not as confident in it as I once was, and now I'm hesitant to move forward.

I've read a few other YA books that use the journal format, but it is usually a part of the book, not the whole thing. I'm considering making this change, or at least trying it: writing the story in 3rd person and interspersing it with portions of the protagonist's journal.

I'm looking for someone to read through what I have so far and to offer their opinion on the book's structure, its plot, and the authenticity of the narrator's voice. I'm not looking for a close reading or proofreading at this time. Mark-ups are not even necessary. This is a rough draft, so I'm just looking for your general impressions right now.

I'd prefer a reader who enjoys YA novels and has read many of them. I also want someone who won't sugar-coat.

Thanks so much.
 

timewaster

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Hi. I don't have time to read 32k but I can look at your first few chapters if you like.
I have published seven YA novels with Bloomsbury, so I have relevant experience, but I am very blunt and I don't sugar coat anything : )
 
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