I get freaked out by my own writing. Advice?

Do you have anxiety issues or social phobia? Because the reactions you describe sound consistent with either or both.

I think that most people feel a bit anxious, or shy, or conflicted when they read their work out loud. However, covering your ears and whimpering like a dog is a pretty extreme reaction. Is it possible for you to find professional help, like a therapist or counselor?

Speaking for myself, no. I don't get "freaked out" by my own writing. I'm not even sure what that means. I do get nervous about doing a reading in front of an audience but that isn't because of the writing itself. It's only because I find public speaking nerve-wracking.

Putting your hands over your ears and whimpering in your seat when a teacher reads your work aloud sounds like a maturity issue to me. Although I can't imagine having done that even back when I was 12 years old. But everyone's different, I suppose.

ETA: Try joining Toastmasters.

Blue - first off I think you should stop worrying if you are normal or not. There really is no such thing as "normal" and EVERYONE, be they writer, plumber, student, teacher etc., at one time or other thinks they are abnormal. In fact just this week I sent an email to a friend asking that very question, lol! Normal, does not exist. And it is such a bad word because due to its existence all these people all over the world constantly wonder if they are that word or not.

Blue you aren't normal. Because no one is normal. Everyone is special and unique, and feel fear, joy, sadness, jealousy and every other emotion over the sun. I say, pretend that word doesn't exist.

Next, to answer your question. I think a lot of your fear comes from that "am I normal" question. Will people like your story, will they judge you as a person for having written that story. And you know what, they might. But something else . . .

Most every author has that fear too.

Now why when you hear the story read back to you, do you feel all tense, and icky, and have to plug your ears. It is possible, because you know the story so well, you can sense every little mistake, every little problem you had in writing it. You know it so well that you can't see the good in it. When I watch myself act, OMG, I always want to cry. Because all I can see is the effort behind the acting, not what other people are seeing.

It's a bit like looking into a mirror and thinking that you are having a bad hair day, when no one else can even tell. But you know that one strand of hair is out of place.

The thing to realise is that you don't need to get over this feeling. But you just need to learn to accept it and work with it. You need to unplug your ears, even though it really feels awful to do so, and listen so you can try to improve your work. You need to work through your fear, acknowledge that it is there, and not use it as an excuse to not do something. The stronger person faces the icky feelings. Works through them. Comes out the other side. Don't run away from them.

And one more time, I will say what I say to you in every thread . . .EVERY author has doubts. EVERY author thinks that they suck. EVERY author worries what others will think. EVERY author wonders if what they have written is crazy and freaky and weird. Blue, you are simply an author.

BlueLucario said:

I guess it's social phobia.

I don't know what's wrong with me. When I read my own stuff, I feel weird.

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Seriously, if this is a big concern for you, join Toastmasters: http://www.toastmasters.org/members.aspx

Closing the thread because this is really a personal issue.