Writing with Toddlers

TV is your friend.

I'm joking. (Sort of.) My kids get to watch just enough tv a day to give me a few minutes of peace with the laptop.

Also, I highly recommend having two children close together. For the first two years I wanted to commit suicide, but now they play together for hours, literally hours. If you can't instantly produce more offspring, how about a friend? (Depending on your toddler's age and temperament, of course.) They can play together. Then you can foist off your kid on the other mom---I mean, you can trade off. Free time! This works well for me and a friend with kids the same age.

BTW, Finn is such a great name.

Oh if you ever find the secret...please let me know too! J-bit has been great playing by herself until last week and then all of a sudden, I can't seem to get anything done!
She wants to help me write, needs more juice, has to go potty, there's a spider that's scary, and on and on and on. I am hoping this is just a phase.
Just thinking about what ideas I could tell you, though, I just thought of one for me too....talk about removing yourself from the situation to see it in a different light! I was going to say look into buying him a play computer he could play on and remembered we have one packed away somewhere for her too. It's a barbie one we picked up at a garage sale, I'm going to have to find that sucker.
You know what else I might do...she got a desk/art studio thing for Christmas. I may need to rearrange the compter area and set that up next to my desk and then fill it up with art supplies and such. Hmmmmm...I'll have to let you know how that goes.
Maybe some of this would help you out too! Just responding to the thread has given me some ideas

Wait till they go to sleep.

I have two boys just one year apart. They are 8 and 9 now and they still won't let me be.

I was going to say have another baby, too. Of course, the trick there is that at first Thing Two is MORE work until she gets old enough to play with Thing One. Now that I have three (the oldest turned four last month and the youngest is 8 months old this week), I just have to wake up at 4 am and write until they wake up at 6 am (or 5 on a bad day).

I do jot down ideas and skim through Writer's Market when they're entertaining each other, but if I try to write with them in the room, the potty breaks, outbreaks of sibling warfare, and melt downs interrupt me so often that I get frustrated. Since I'm a mom who also writes, not a writer who also moms, I can't afford to force them onto the back burner all day at this particular season. I get too grumpy! Maybe after they're all out of diapers? Or when I learn more patience? Anyway, good luck!

If I have paper and pencil, he wants them.

Click to expand...

Then let him have some of his own. My daughter would quite happily play with pens / pencils and paper, pretending to write like mummy. They want to do what you are doing, so let them, if you can.

Can you get an old laptop or toy computer to have handy when you're writing? If you're writing something out, have a paper and pen for him as well. Or write something quick for him, a line per page about something he loves, and then he can draw the pictures to illustrate it for you. And before you sit down to write, maybe have a glass of juice and a snack ready and handy for him when he wants them.

ETA -- well, back to the drawing board for my ideas! You're already a step ahead of the game!!

Saritams8 said:

Has anyone figured out a way to write while being in the same room as your toddler?

Click to expand...

I never found a good solution until I hired a sitter so I could work. You might get away with a 12 or 13-year-old mother's helper who can watch Finn and play with him while you're in another room behind a closed door.

How do I write with toddlers? I don't. If I'm trying to write, whether on laptop or paper, the kids get cranky for lack of attention, I get cranky because they're cranky, and all I manage to squeeze out are a few sentences amidst the ruckus. So I have a strict no-writing-during-the-day rule (unless, for some strange reason, both the toddler and the preschooler decide to take a nap). I think about writing, let myself jot down notes for later, but do my writing after they go to bed. I can focus so much better and I find that I'm much more productive than if I try to write a sentence here, a sentence there, while ignoring the kiddos. If I put off the writing until after they go to bed, I'm happier, the kids are happier, and I still get writing done! To me, it doesn't matter that I don't get writing done during the day because ultimately I am, as KCathy put so well:

KCathy said:

a mom who also writes, not a writer who also moms, I can't afford to force them onto the back burner all day

Click to expand...

Sorry, I can't be more helpful with giving you suggestions! Just wanted you to know that you are not alone! Toddlers seem to think that keyboards make the best seats....

I take my two youngest kids into the (fenced) backyard and type on my laptop while they play with the dog or on their swingset.

I also have a "nap time". I put on a movie that they like but have seen a hundred times before, make them as comfortable as possible, and tell them that they have to lay still and quiet until the movie is over. I do everything in my power to actually get them to SLEEP during this time, including scheduling it after a period of vigorous activity and a wind-down activity...so I might have them dancing like crazy until they're exhausted, then have a bath, then put them down for their "nap".

My 3-year-old doesn't usually fall for it.

I often say that I'll write when they're older. Seriously, though, as it is, I have to carve out ten-minute slots for myself where I can, or carry the laptop to the park or the backyard, or whatever. *sigh* Midway through this post, I had to read "Little People's Farm" to my kids for the millionth time.

But it's worth it, isn't it? I love my kids. <3

Patti, that picture is fantabulous!

Sara, I'm a SAHM (or WAHM, depending on how you look at it) with both a 5- and 2-year-old at home. Most often, my best writing is done while Big Girl is at preschool (three days a week) and Little Girl is napping. But I also make use of their favorite morning cartoons and evenings after they've gone to bed. Some days I can write or research or whatever intermittently, in between meals and quality time and housework. It's not always easy. (They've driven me nuts just this evening. Is it bedtime yet?) Since mine are older, they do do a good job of entertaining each other, but one or the other (or both) are always after me for something. I think, for now, you'll just have to keep your eyes open for something that really holds Finn's attention. I know what you mean; kidlets are ALWAYS more interested in whatever Mommy's doing. But you may happen upon some uber great toy or craft that will keep him occupied. Otherwise, you may have work around his nap and bedtimes until he's an eensy bit older. Good luck!

Monkey said:

...I often say that I'll write when they're older...

Click to expand...

Those were my words when my first was a baby and toddler. Now I've found, if I really work at it, I can go ahead and write during those sporadic stolen moments. My ultimate goal is to make it more full-time once they're both in school. *sigh*

Good for you, reading them that book just now! Those are the moments that mean the most.

If I was closer, I'd help you out! I actually babysit for a couple who have 2 very active toddlers. One is 3 1/2 and the other is 18 months. I usually work for them two to three weekends a month, sometimes one day, sometimes both, just to be there so they can get stuff done. The dad is an anaesthesiologist and she is going to school full time. They're there when I am most often, but I play with the kids for 3 to 4 hours so they can do things without the interruption.

Check with your friends who may have children in daycare and find out if any of the teachers there babysit to earn a little extra money. It's how I found this family, and I've been sitting for them for a year and a half now.

I have two myself--and we homeschool. So, there's no "when they're in school" for us!

The suggestion about a babysitter is a good idea, and you wanting to write (rather than go out) will make it easier to find one. If you were looking for someone to be in charge of your house and be alone with the little one, your standards would have to be very high, as to their capability to handle emergency and first aid, etc. But, if you'll be upstairs on the laptop, you only need someone kind and fun. A responsible, playful teenager will do. (In fact, I have one coming this afternoon!)

Also, my husband did something brilliant with our first that we're now starting with the second. For a brief time, our oldest (when he was one or two) went to sleep at 7. It was bliss. We had the *whole evening* to use as grownups!!!!! And he had a nap each afternoon, too. Ah, sweet free time! Of course, that gradually falls away. When that started, Brilliant Husband changed seven o'clock from "sleep time" to "reading in your room time." "Nap time" likewise became "reading in room time." Of course, this does depend on temperament. Some kids would cling at being left alone awake, or be frustrated by having to be internal rather than physical, but it works beautifully for us. Both of ours LOVE books and will happilly spend an hour or two with a stack of them. Yes, even before they could read. They know the stories. They love the pictures. Even now, at age 6, our oldest goes upstairs at seven, lights out at nine. The two year old goes up at six. He used to go to sleep then. Now some evenings he asks for "lights on", and he reads to himself till seven or seven thirty.

Anyway, that's not the solution for everyone, because of temperament, etc. But, if you do have children who like playing quietly, it may work for you.

Sara I wish I could offer you some help. But all the suggestions here are very good (especially the TV ones!). I think at this age, the only time you're going to get is when he's asleep at night,but I know, by then you're tired and it's hard to string three words together in a way that makes sense. You could always try putting him in some kind of care, even if only for half a day. If you only have a few hours, it's amazing how much you can get done!

Having another child is good too. But that takes a long time to pay off. My kids are 6 and 4 and have only in the past 6 months, started playing beautifully together. I can actually get a couple of hours solid time to myself. It's fantastic!

It's hard, and there's no easy solution. If you can find another mother in a similar situation and swap babysitting duty, that would be a great help.

Good luck!

With a 5 year old and a 3 year old, I've found that I can't write when the kids are around.
I write in the morning before they get up. I write on the weekends when they are napping. I write in the middle of the night when I can't sleep but they are.
My kids play together really well and I can usually get a bit done on the computer, but nothing that requires too much concentration. The interruptions for drinks, snacks, and to tell them to stop some behavior, or show them how to play something, or join in the fun are too much for me to do any real creative writing.
I save the writing time for the times they are sleeping, or my lunch hour at work.

I agree. The question was about working with toddlers in the same room, but many of the answers are tending more toward finding time away in a different room. Apologies to the OP for not answering the question in the parameters specified, but I think that may be an answer in itself! I don't write well with the kids in the room. Sounds like many others on the board don't either. For me, it's not a matter of keeping the kids busy, it's about my ability to concentrate. Even when they're playing quietly on their own, there isn't enough personal space for me to come up with new scenes or significant revisions.

I can sometimes do research or non-creative tasks while they're watching something on TV, but not the writing. I need mental space for that.

Stew21 said:

with a 5 year old and a 3 year old, I've found that I can't write when the kids are around.
I in the morning before they get up. I writer on the weekends when they are napping. I write in the middle of the night when I can't sleep but they are.
My kids play together really well and I can usually get a bit done on the computer, but nothing that requires too much concentration - the interruptions for drinks, snacks, and to tell them to stop some behavior, or show them how to play something, or join in the fun are too much for me to do any real creative writing.
I save the writing time for the times they are sleeping, or my lunch hour at work.

Click to expand...

The only thing that ever worked for me was to get up at 4am, make chocolate raspberry coffee, and work until the lil' beasts arose at 8-8:30. I'd nap with them in the afternoon to catch up on sleep & to make it through the second half of the day of their hysterical antics.

I have earplugs. I find any kind of noise very distracting when going into a fictional world, but my earplugs are great. They just mute normal sound; I can still hear screaming and crying, but the kids (I have four: 3, 4, 6, and 11) can be all around me and not bother me until someone's bleeding or they need a drink.

One child does need more attention than four. I wasn't writing when I only had one, so I don't know what to do there.

I don't get much writing done while my daughter (17 months) is awake. She does have a little baby laptop that she pounds away on while I check e-mail and do research online. I think it makes her feel like we're playing a game together so she's not really left out of what I'm doing. It works well enough that I can accomplish tasks requiring little focus but I couldn't get any meaningful amount of writing done that way. I also like to put music on in the background for her to listen to. She really enjoys Rafi, Sesame Street songs and classical music

I try never to write with toddlers. Their ideas are too abstract to be useful and they tend to just eat the paper.

CaroGirl said:

I try never to write with toddlers. Their ideas are too abstract to be useful and they tend to just eat the paper.

Click to expand...

Yar' sick