Apparently, I'm a prude.

Funnily enough, I just read a very good blog post on this exact topic:

http://www.sfnovelists.com/2008/01/29/sexing-things-up/

ETA: The link within the post is also very good.

Useless to me, as I don't "do" romance, or sexy things, but always good to know.

How to Write a Dirty Story by Susie Bright is my go-to source on this stuff.

I cannot remember the writer's name now, but she wisely said that no author could know herself "until she has tried to write dialogue for two lovers in a rose garden."

steamy writing.......

ClaudiaGray said:

I cannot remember the writer's name now, but she wisely said that no author could know herself "until she has tried to write dialogue for two lovers in a rose garden."

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ouch! (is that blood?)

Depending on the feeling of the book you could always use alternative imagery, like to hands rbbign together on a cold day... etc.

Or since its an affair talk about the moral implications of it, the burning desire, than horrible guilt afterwards (if that is the case)

wine.

seriously. works for me. I find a few glasses and it's not so horrible. I still blush like an idiot, though. Hubby says I look like a tomato typing on a laptop. can't help it. it's just so embarrassing.

Just don't write about his "flute of love." Seriously.

Oh, and here is a great article from Writing World.com

ETA: This is the article that the blog dempsey linked to mentions. It's good stuff.

"The Joy of Writing Sex" by Elizabeth Benedict is an excellent resource.

I don't write sex. My mother might read it. But you, Wendy? Tear it up, girl!

You could start things off and then fade to black, leaving the rest up to the reader's imagination.

The imagination is a very powerful thing.

Here is a discussion on how NOT to write a sex scene. Warning: Beverge alert,

Nightfall said:

You could start things off and then fade to black, leaving the rest up to the reader's imagination.

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I second this suggestion. I generally skip any sex scenes in literature, anyway. They are distracting. Just like I fast-forward them in movies.

I don't usually write sex as much as elude to it. I just think it comes across as hoky at times. I'm not good enough to write them is what it boils down to for me.

I did, however, write a scene in my last novel about a boy alone...I'll leave it at that.

HI ,
I am also having the same problem . some people are writing it so artisitically
that we will fall in the concept of love . sometimes it is written very crudely .
My hats off to those who write it artistically
padma

Tension tension tension. best sex scenes are loaded with it.. Sex for the first time is very awkward because in life the man is never a hundred percent sure he's in so to speak, and the woman can change her mind in a heartbeat and it can all get very stressfull, thats why first sex is always the best.

I've just written a sex scene in my novel. It's the second chapter though, and I think I found it difficult because I dont' quite know the characters fully yet. I've just written it, left it as it is and I'm going to revisit once I get to know them a bit more. I struggled with it for a bit, but then it was holding me back, so I went for it!

Wine would have been a good idea, I think! I'll keep that in mind when I go back to it.

Another quickie recommendation would be to read the chapter in Sol Stein's "Stein on Writing" book about writing love/sex scenes. He's in the camp of the "fade to black" populace.

If you are uncomfortable about writing the scene, boil it down. What is the most important thing you or the reader need to take away from the scene? Is it that they get together? Or is it that they have gotten together? Is it something that happens while they are together? What brought them to this point? What will be the fallout? What things leading up to this are the most important? What superfluous details are you adding now that don't relate to any of the above questions? If there are such details, can the scene live without them?

The real reason your dialog is coming out stilted is because subconsciously, or consciously, you are trying too hard to make it sound like a sex scene and forgetting the focus of your scene or scene question/scenario. Ask yourself first, why are you putting it in? Is it because there are so many books out there now skirting the fringes of public decency in order to sell better? Is it because you were asked to put it in by an editor/agent? Or...is it because it is necessary to the plot? If it is one of the last two options, you will need to break down some of your inner restraints and let loose. If it is the first, don't put it in. Period.

Amy

WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE?

As cliche as the title of this post sounds, it is probably the most important question to ask yourself (changing the word "fools" for the words "my main characters") when writing love scenes.

Without the base of the attraction built, the scene becomes ancillary.

So questions to ask yourself about your MC's
What brought them together?
What specific trait did one or the other notice first?
What emotional need does the opposite partner fill?
What makes the opposite partner stand out?

There's a lot of other questions you can ask. These are just starters to help you get going.

Once you've answered the key questions, these answers become your scene or series of scenes leading up to the culmination point. By building the base, your scene can be as short or as long as you feel necessary because it really is the final piece of the puzzle.

Or, your scene is actually a part of the final puzzle. For instance, my MC is initially attracted to his love interest by a patch of skin inadvertently exposed as she stretches. It's such an innocent thing that promises MUCH more. Then later it is the skin just below her ears. It's ticklish. He knows this because he's explored her and found this to be one of her few vulnerabilities. Because she is normally in control and collected, he deliberately toys with this spot to pull her out of her comfort zone. Another innocent thing that tells a lot about the MC's. Each scene written builds these little things together as a story.

I hope that helps.

Amy

Neil Gaiman writes some raunchy steamy stuff and he says that he's always so embarrassed by the writing of it, not by how the material itself turns out. Take a look at some of his stuff in Smoke and Mirrors. Hot and dirty.

From the Learn Writing with Uncle Jim thread:

Writing Sex Scenes by Hapi Sofi