True love

simy4peace · Mar 14, 2005

The ghosts of the past…what shall we think about them? For example in my strange relationship with people they often appear and they are pretty boring. I’m bored. I’ve always wanted to have a friend, a single and truthful friend. Loyalty, respect… I suppose that won’t be enough. Love comes and asks for her vicious rights. Love …a very complicated concept yet a simple word. Concept/ vs /Word. Is it to think that we’re doomed to encounter this strange path of loving and be loved, in the best way be loved back? Let me tell you about love, from my poor experience, of course. To say that you love when your not even eleven years old, is the sweetest thing. Up to twenty, ah…hello dear hormones! From twenty to…let’s say twenty five for some ,and 35 for others it’s a terrible fight with the ghosts of the past. Once you understand their revolutionary presence in our lives, their reasons for showing up, and once you’ve solved a part of this past puzzle, you can call yourself a half adult. Love? Not quite. Career, money, prison, any sort of prison, and there you are…61 years old. To have 60 is quite crucial. Damn this miserable time! So…61. I hope you have lots of memories to share otherwise you’ll be just like the majority of pre- and old people. To share them with somebody is an extremely important request for truly saying that you love and you’re loved back. You’ve had respect, understanding, peace and harmony. You’re still holding hands and go for walks? Splendid. This is love.

What do you think?

Nateskate · Mar 14, 2005

simy4peace said:
The ghosts of the past…what shall we think about them? For example in my strange relationship with people they often appear and they are pretty boring. I’m bored. I’ve always wanted to have a friend, a single and truthful friend. Loyalty, respect… I suppose that won’t be enough. Love comes and asks for her vicious rights. Love …a very complicated concept yet a simple word. Concept/ vs /Word. Is it to think that we’re doomed to encounter this strange path of loving and be loved, in the best way be loved back? Let me tell you about love, from my poor experience, of course. To say that you love when your not even eleven years old, is the sweetest thing. Up to twenty, ah…hello dear hormones! From twenty to…let’s say twenty five for some ,and 35 for others it’s a terrible fight with the ghosts of the past. Once you understand their revolutionary presence in our lives, their reasons for showing up, and once you’ve solved a part of this past puzzle, you can call yourself a half adult. Love? Not quite. Career, money, prison, any sort of prison, and there you are…61 years old. To have 60 is quite crucial. Damn this miserable time! So…61. I hope you have lots of memories to share otherwise you’ll be just like the majority of pre- and old people. To share them with somebody is an extremely important request for truly saying that you love and you’re loved back. You’ve had respect, understanding, peace and harmony. You’re still holding hands and go for walks? Splendid. This is love.

What do you think?

It's always a goal to love and be loved. For me it's the most central of life's endevors. The risk is not in liking, the risk to me is in seeking intimacy, to know and be known, on any or every level.

Here's the complexity. The more shallow you are, and your relationships, the less disappointed you will be. But some people, drat, that's me, are never satisfied with shallow relationships. So, I think by nature, I have as many people who dislike me as love me. Heck, I always ask people how they are doing, and mean it. Oh, that can be annoying to some people.

For people who crave deep relationships, you have to risk people seeing the good, the bad and the ugly, or they are loving an image, and not necessarily you. And yet, you aren't necessarily what people think you are, because all the while you are trying to reveal yourself, you are also trying to grow, to be better, kinder, more forgiving.

lynn avendar · Mar 14, 2005

"The ghosts of the past…what shall we think about them? For example in my strange relationship with people they often appear and they are pretty boring. I’m bored. I’ve always wanted to have a friend, a single and truthful friend. "

Friendship has eluded me as well. Perhaps I expect too much from those I meet. So many of them speak much about themselves and question my existence, very little. Am I just a better listener than I am a conversationalist? Can I not like someone more than I love them and have it mean the same?
For what is love but a feeling of joy to be in someone's company for even a moment of time and share the goodness of our being together.

simy4peace · Mar 15, 2005

Nateskate said:
It's always a goal to love and be loved. For me it's the most central of life's endevors. The risk is not in liking, the risk to me is in seeking intimacy, to know and be known, on any or every level.

Here's the complexity. The more shallow you are, and your relationships, the less disappointed you will be. But some people, drat, that's me, are never satisfied with shallow relationships. So, I think by nature, I have as many people who dislike me as love me. Heck, I always ask people how they are doing, and mean it. Oh, that can be annoying to some people.

For people who crave deep relationships, you have to risk people seeing the good, the bad and the ugly, or they are loving an image, and not necessarily you. And yet, you aren't necessarily what people think you are, because all the while you are trying to reveal yourself, you are also trying to grow, to be better, kinder, more forgiving.

Shallow relationships...well...I don't think so...I wouldn't like to be like that.It's like having fear .In the end there cannot be a true success.Of course I cannot totaly admit that will happen but let's face it...without a true friend(one at least) you can't really say you're completely happy.It is ideal for all the things to come from the heart...honesty...respect...friendship...these are ,unfortunately, some concepts forgotten by the majority.but the majority doesn't mean ALL.Peace in the world and in our hearts

simy4peace · Mar 15, 2005

lynn avendar said:
"The ghosts of the past…what shall we think about them? For example in my strange relationship with people they often appear and they are pretty boring. I’m bored. I’ve always wanted to have a friend, a single and truthful friend. "

Friendship has eluded me as well. Perhaps I expect too much from those I meet. So many of them speak much about themselves and question my existence, very little. Am I just a better listener than I am a conversationalist? Can I not like someone more than I love them and have it mean the same?
For what is love but a feeling of joy to be in someone's company for even a moment of time and share the goodness of our being together.

This is the idea...for love to be a feeling of joy...As a listener...well...I'm a good listener,too and I must admit that sometimes is a little bit boring.Yep,boring.Boring when the other one won't listen to you,too.It's a good thing on playing Mom Theresa but not all the time.Follow your own path,your desires.Don't say that frienship has eluded you...there will be a moment when you will trully say that you're both content(material) and happy(spiritual).I believe in friendship,even though I ain't got many true friends.True friends?Hmmm...I shall speak about true friends when I'll be 60 or so...Have faith!Everything's going to be allright.

Nateskate · Mar 15, 2005

simy4peace said:
Shallow relationships...well...I don't think so...I wouldn't like to be like that.It's like having fear .In the end there cannot be a true success.Of course I cannot totaly admit that will happen but let's face it...without a true friend(one at least) you can't really say you're completely happy.It is ideal for all the things to come from the heart...honesty...respect...friendship...these are ,unfortunately, some concepts forgotten by the majority.but the majority doesn't mean ALL.Peace in the world and in our hearts

Only a tender heart can draw out a wounded heart. So, you can't have that everywhere with everyone. Only those who covet it will take the risk, but most certainly only with those who they feel safe around. The heart is the most fragile thing to expose, and obviously some people will dance a jig on it and spit on it, but there are those who will treat it with care.

simy4peace · Mar 15, 2005

Nateskate said:
Only a tender heart can draw out a wounded heart. So, you can't have that everywhere with everyone. Only those who covet it will take the risk, but most certainly only with those who they feel safe around. The heart is the most fragile thing to expose, and obviously some people will dance a jig on it and spit on it, but there are those who will treat it with care.

Well and beautiful said!There are definitely beings/humans who will treat both the tender and wounded heart with care!We must believe it so...

Nateskate · Mar 15, 2005

simy4peace said:
Well and beautiful said!There are definitely beings/humans who will treat both the tender and wounded heart with care!We must believe it so...

I know its so. Obviously it doesn't look that way when I banter back and forth with Opti on the Jenna thread, but for the most part I really care about people in real life.

It's a people in glass houses sort of thing. You realize who you really are, imperfect, somewhat battered at times in life, and you understand where people are coming from.

thewritemuse · Mar 16, 2005

No two relationships work the same way, but

To share them with somebody is an extremely important request for truly saying that you love and you’re loved back. You’ve had respect, understanding, peace and harmony. You’re still holding hands and go for walks? Splendid. This is love.

I think you definitely hit on the core of true love here. At the heart of it all, most of us want to be unconditionally loved for our faults as well as our strengths, and have that unconditional acceptance last long after taut youthfulness has passed us by. Though I do think the peace and harmony part comes and goes over the years simply because two people can't share space 24/7 and get along all the time--romantic longevity, IMO, is a balancing act.

In an interview shortly before her death, Jessica Tandy said if you want advice gleaned from her 52-year marriage, it would simply be "on those days you think love has abandoned your relationship, be patient and wait--sooner or later, it will come back."

simy4peace · Mar 16, 2005

thewritemuse said:
I think you definitely hit on the core of true love here. At the heart of it all, most of us want to be unconditionally loved for our faults as well as our strengths, and have that unconditional acceptance last long after taut youthfulness has passed us by. Though I do think the peace and harmony part comes and goes over the years simply because two people can't share space 24/7 and get along all the time--romantic longevity, IMO, is a balancing act.

In an interview shortly before her death, Jessica Tandy said if you want advice gleaned from her 52-year marriage, it would simply be "on those days you think love has abandoned your relationship, be patient and wait--sooner or later, it will come back."

Peace and harmony should't dissapear...not to mention the respect you have for a certain person..the respect that lasts longer than love...actually love dissapears.At least the love we share when we're young. This type of 'juvenile' love.Respect gains ground.It's a total different love...more profound.It's also true that two people can't share the same space 24/7 and get along all the time.Well said about the patience!

Nateskate · Mar 16, 2005

thewritemuse said:
I think you definitely hit on the core of true love here. At the heart of it all, most of us want to be unconditionally loved for our faults as well as our strengths, and have that unconditional acceptance last long after taut youthfulness has passed us by. Though I do think the peace and harmony part comes and goes over the years simply because two people can't share space 24/7 and get along all the time--romantic longevity, IMO, is a balancing act.

In an interview shortly before her death, Jessica Tandy said if you want advice gleaned from her 52-year marriage, it would simply be "on those days you think love has abandoned your relationship, be patient and wait--sooner or later, it will come back."

I don't think we will ever be loved for our faults, but there is that core that people see that causes them to love us despite our faults. It's our intentions they see, and that allows them to see past the failings. Faults are peculiar things in that we tend to focus ten times as much on what's wrong with us than what's right.

Nateskate · Mar 16, 2005

simy4peace said:
Peace and harmony should't dissapear...not to mention the respect you have for a certain person..the respect that lasts longer than love...actually love dissapears.At least the love we share when we're young. This type of 'juvenile' love.Respect gains ground.It's a total different love...more profound.It's also true that two people can't share the same space 24/7 and get along all the time.Well said about the patience!

My body may decay, but hopefully my spirit keeps growing. I know beauty fades, but hopefully in some way I'll be more beautiful at seventy (if I should live that long) than I ever was at twenty. Strange boy that I was, in college when people asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up," I bypassed careers and said, "A wise old sage. I want to be able to share the answers to questions I wished I had when I was young." Therefore, having a goal, growing old doesn't scare me. I thought growing irrelevent was a much worse prospect.

Coco82 · Mar 26, 2005

I think everyone wants to be loved by their friends or lovers, but not all of us have it as easy as others for one reason or another. I for one don't. I have a hard time opening up to new people so I remain very closed off. Finding friends os easier, but anything deeper is near impossible. Some day I hope to overcome this, but alas it won't happen any time soon.

Nateskate · Mar 28, 2005

Coco82 said:
I think everyone wants to be loved by their friends or lovers, but not all of us have it as easy as others for one reason or another. I for one don't. I have a hard time opening up to new people so I remain very closed off. Finding friends os easier, but anything deeper is near impossible. Some day I hope to overcome this, but alas it won't happen any time soon.

I hope it happens for you. Some people are just more sensitive that way. They just have a gift to draw others out. Hope you find someone like that.

simy4peace · Mar 28, 2005

Coco82 said:
I think everyone wants to be loved by their friends or lovers, but not all of us have it as easy as others for one reason or another. I for one don't. I have a hard time opening up to new people so I remain very closed off. Finding friends os easier, but anything deeper is near impossible. Some day I hope to overcome this, but alas it won't happen any time soon.

Message:Love means hurt and because lot of people run from the pain just a few know how to love!This is one of my favourite quotations!Finding true friends is the hardest thing...or so it seems!Nothing is impossible as long as you believe...believe in good...believe in yourself!Just love!