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larocca
01-22-2008, 06:05 PM
...you're jealous of a stiff wind.

nerds
01-22-2008, 06:13 PM
When you lose track of slang and no longer know what the hell anyone is saying anymore.

Bubastes
01-22-2008, 06:14 PM
When your morning snap-crackle-pop is from your knees, not your cereal.

StoryG27
01-22-2008, 06:16 PM
When the tree you planted in the front yard as a kid is now petrified.

auntybug
01-22-2008, 06:20 PM
...multi-tasking is sneezing, peeing & farting all at the same time!

larocca
01-22-2008, 06:41 PM
You have many questions about the hereafter. You know what I mean. You walk into a room and then wonder, "What was I here after?"

larocca
01-22-2008, 06:42 PM
When the tree you planted in the front yard as a kid is now petrified.

Um, the heck with the tree. Maybe the planter is petrified.

ona
01-22-2008, 06:49 PM
oestrogen is a drug

larocca
01-22-2008, 06:54 PM
...you and your teeth don't sleep together

mscelina
01-22-2008, 06:54 PM
...the very first time you yell up the stairs at your teenager, "Turn off that damn noise! How in the hell can you hear yourself think?"

*sigh* the first time I yelled that at my kid, I got the shock of my life. She'd borrowed one of my CDs. I called my own Beastie Boys Cd 'noise.'

larocca
01-22-2008, 06:54 PM
...you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:04 PM
...you know you're a grown-up because you groan every time you get up.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:04 PM
...that little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:06 PM
...your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

ona
01-22-2008, 07:10 PM
your cat is as old as you

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:11 PM
Your cat gets pissed off because you are too old for her

rhymegirl
01-22-2008, 07:12 PM
I'm never going to be old.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:13 PM
People call you at 9 pm and say, "Did I wake you?"

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:14 PM
You know you'll always be older than Rhymegirl

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:14 PM
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:15 PM
You sing along with elevator music

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:15 PM
You tell your grandchildren, "I remember when I started this old-fart thread on Absolute Write."

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:19 PM
You know where your prostate is

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:20 PM
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:21 PM
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:21 PM
You can't read the newspaper because your arms are too short.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:22 PM
You can live without sex, but not without glasses.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:22 PM
There is too much room in your house but not enough in your medicine cabinet

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:23 PM
Your joints are better at predicting the weather than any of those fools on the TV.

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:24 PM
Ain't nobody but you posting on a thread because you scared the shit out of everybody

larocca
01-22-2008, 07:27 PM
You know who Cleavon Little is

NeuroFizz
01-22-2008, 07:46 PM
I read all the posts, and now I can't remember what the question was...

robeiae
01-22-2008, 07:48 PM
I read all the posts, and now I can't remember what the question was...
It had something to do with Rhymegirl, I think.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-22-2008, 07:49 PM
... you sleep with at least two guys every night - whether you're a man or a woman: Ben Gay and Arthur Itis. :(

Jaycinth
01-22-2008, 08:16 PM
Read the whole thread.

I'm not old!













uh...where'd I put my glasses?

cray
01-22-2008, 08:17 PM
they're on your head, granny
:D

nerds
01-22-2008, 08:30 PM
they're on your head, granny
:D


What? What did you say, sonny ????

quickWit
01-22-2008, 08:31 PM
Your breasts hit the floor before your feet in the morning.

nerds
01-22-2008, 08:36 PM
Your breasts hit the floor before your feet in the morning.


gosh, quickie. Condolence card is in the mail. So sorry.

donroc
01-22-2008, 09:15 PM
Old? Not in my lexicon. Only wusses worry about age. We do not age. We either improve or intensify. As for the physical appearance, shallow is as shallow does.

Shadow_Ferret
01-22-2008, 09:37 PM
You keep making blog posts about "the good old days." :D

Jersey Chick
01-22-2008, 09:45 PM
Kids you babysat have kids of their own

the first time a cashier calls you "Ma'am" (EEEK!!)

when the voice is yours, but the words are your mother's

Unique
01-22-2008, 09:55 PM
you start out old and get younger as time passes.

>''< (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnLv1kh_cuc)

donroc
01-22-2008, 10:09 PM
You keep making blog posts about "the good old days." :D

YEAH, AND WHY NOT? iI AM DELIGHTED TO. MY PLUSES OUTWEIGH MY MINUSES OVERALL, AND I HOPE YOURS DO AS WELL.

After I became a conscious individual and took charge of my life sometime in my teens despite the usual sturm, drang, and restraints, l strived to make all my yesterdays "good old days" by creating the best possible new ones each day. And they do get better in many ways, like having my first novels published at age 75 and enjoying the benefits from the info resources on the Internet -- and meeting you and others from all over the world on this site.

But materially, not all progress has been positive from my POV. Sticking with this thread, current cars generally are aesthetically challenged IMNSHO despite all the comfort gimmicks. Even my father's other car I remember, a 1934 Chevvy, black and forest green with window shades, white side wall tires, external rear tire holder (a real tire), and running boards had more style than most current people movers for the masses. A classmate of mine (ca. 1948-9) drove her 1929 "Untouchables-style" family Buick, which had potted plants along the backseat interior sides.

Keeping with the theme of this post, the best car I ever owned for personal driving (damn the passengers) was the 1974 Alfa Romeo GTV 2000, and I wish the USA still imported Alfas in numbers sufficient to have decent mechanics. Also the Fiat X/19 was a beauty, but the mechanics in L.A. had no idea how to deal with it. Unfortunately in our case (my wife's car) it truly was "fix it again Tony". We also think even our boxy Volvos of the 1980s to early 90s were superior to their current designs -- especially their Bertones.

:Lecture::Lecture::Lecture:

joyce
01-22-2008, 10:16 PM
When you and your friends start talking about your bathroom habits.

Hillary
01-22-2008, 10:55 PM
When you're about to turn... A quarter of a century... Old...

*buries face in hands*

They may as well just embalm me now and save the trouble when I kick the bucket.

quickWit
01-22-2008, 10:57 PM
When you and your friends start talking about your bathroom habits.

So I was dropping a deuce the other day...

mscelina
01-22-2008, 11:02 PM
When you're about to turn... A quarter of a century... Old...

*buries face in hands*

They may as well just embalm me now and save the trouble when I kick the bucket.

Hmmm....just for that, you get an LOLCat..

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i293/isabelle_spurrier/taunt.jpg

joyce
01-22-2008, 11:02 PM
Your breasts hit the floor before your feet in the morning.

....and the thud was heard around the world! :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-22-2008, 11:47 PM
YEAH, AND WHY NOT? iI AM DELIGHTED TO. MY PLUSES OUTWEIGH MY MINUSES OVERALL, AND I HOPE YOURS DO AS WELL.

After I became a conscious individual and took charge of my life sometime in my teens despite the usual sturm, drang, and restraints, l strived to make all my yesterdays "good old days" by creating the best possible new ones each day. And they do get better in many ways, like having my first novels published at age 75 and enjoying the benefits from the info resources on the Internet -- and meeting you and others from all over the world on this site.

But materially, not all progress has been positive from my POV. Sticking with this thread, current cars generally are aesthetically challenged IMNSHO despite all the comfort gimmicks. Even my father's other car I remember, a 1934 Chevvy, black and forest green with window shades, white side wall tires, external rear tire holder (a real tire), and running boards had more style than most current people movers for the masses. A classmate of mine (ca. 1948-9) drove her 1929 "Untouchables-style" family Buick, which had potted plants along the backseat interior sides.

Keeping with the theme of this post, the best car I ever owned for personal driving (damn the passengers) was the 1974 Alfa Romeo GTV 2000, and I wish the USA still imported Alfas in numbers sufficient to have decent mechanics. Also the Fiat X/19 was a beauty, but the mechanics in L.A. had no idea how to deal with it. Unfortunately in our case (my wife's car) it truly was "fix it again Tony". We also think even our boxy Volvos of the 1980s to early 90s were superior to their current designs -- especially their Bertones.

:Lecture::Lecture::Lecture:

When you can't answer a simple question without rambling on and on and on.... :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-22-2008, 11:50 PM
When you're about to turn... A quarter of a century... Old...

*buries face in hands*

They may as well just embalm me now and save the trouble when I kick the bucket.

Honey, when you hit 40, that quarter century will look DAMN fine! :)

Shadow_Ferret
01-23-2008, 12:53 AM
When you're about to turn... A quarter of a century... Old...

*buries face in hands*

They may as well just embalm me now and save the trouble when I kick the bucket.
I think you need to go up and look at post #44. He's got you beat 3 times.

25 is still a baby.

Hillary
01-23-2008, 01:06 AM
I think you need to go up and look at post #44. He's got you beat 3 times.

25 is still a baby.

I'm young (apparently). Everyone young has ADD (apparently). Hence, I have ADD and couldn't read that post. I made it about three words in and got distracted.

Anyone want to give me a pithy summary complete with flashy graphics and a rockin' soundtrack? That's what we youngin's respond to.

Werd. *makes gang symbols*

mscelina
01-23-2008, 01:09 AM
I think you need to go up and look at post #44. He's got you beat 3 times.

25 is still a baby.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i293/isabelle_spurrier/nottoobad.jpg

Unique
01-23-2008, 02:19 AM
After you finally got it all together,you realize forgot where you put it - then you realize didn't care any more and you could go back to being happy. :)

as if!
LOL!

nerds
01-23-2008, 02:31 AM
When you're about to turn... A quarter of a century... Old...

*buries face in hands*

They may as well just embalm me now and save the trouble when I kick the bucket.



I'm so old that I read this as a twenty-five-year-old thinking that's a lot and inviting the embalmer over.

*adjusts glasses*

oh I see, four quarters of a century. Okay. That I can understand.

JoeEkaitis
01-23-2008, 03:40 AM
. . . you don't lose your hair. It loses its way. Like I REALLY need hair growing from my ear lobes!

Joycecwilliams
01-23-2008, 07:04 AM
When you are stiff, hot and swollen

but its arthithis. :)

Unique
01-23-2008, 05:14 PM
damn joyce.

i'd rather the bone pile.

if it's that bad.

oooh. that didn't come out right, did it? ;)

truelyana
01-23-2008, 05:30 PM
when you forget that you are still wild at heart.

larocca
01-23-2008, 07:06 PM
There's nothing left to learn the hard way

larocca
01-23-2008, 07:07 PM
Getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot.

(Or bicycle in my case, but it's not too hard because I keep a cardboard box strapped on the back. That's almost as tacky as socks with flip flops, which I also do. Being old means no longer giving a sh*t what people think.)

Joycecwilliams
01-23-2008, 07:16 PM
Getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot.

(Or bicycle in my case, but it's not too hard because I keep a cardboard box strapped on the back. That's almost as tacky as socks with flip flops, which I also do. Being old means no longer giving a sh*t what people think.)

LOL about the car. I went Christmas shopping 3 years ago and walked around the parking lot for an hour... :)

What I want to know is how do you get your toes in between the tiny stap with socks on?

Joycecwilliams
01-23-2008, 07:17 PM
damn joyce.

i'd rather the bone pile.

if it's that bad.

oooh. that didn't come out right, did it? ;)

LOL I'd rather have a pile of bones... :)

larocca
01-23-2008, 07:17 PM
Joyce, I'm evil. I was once a repo man. Some guy was working at JC Penney in the mall from 9-5, and at about 2 we took his car away without telling him. I still have visions of the poor sap wandering around the parking lot after a hard day of work thinking "Now where did I park?"

rhymegirl
01-23-2008, 07:28 PM
Being old means no longer giving a sh*t what people think.

Yes. I like this one the best.

larocca
01-23-2008, 07:29 PM
I'm slow to read and/or think, JCW. My flip flops have no strap. They're Thai style. I dunno how those who are a day or two older than me manage the other kind. Ask me tomorrow. :)

larocca
01-23-2008, 07:32 PM
Oh, and Joey Sunshine, my grandpappy told my pappy many many many years ago that hair and brains don't mix.

Shadow_Ferret
01-23-2008, 07:46 PM
I'm young (apparently). Everyone young has ADD (apparently). Hence, I have ADD and couldn't read that post. I made it about three words in and got distracted.


Um, AADD never goes away. It just gets called senility.

larocca
01-25-2008, 08:05 PM
You really did have to walk across the room to change the channel on the TV, and you only had two of them, both in black and white, and one didn't come in so good.

larocca
01-25-2008, 08:09 PM
Oh, and of course you know all about rabbit ears

rhymegirl
01-25-2008, 08:33 PM
Oh, and of course you know all about rabbit ears

Yes, some of us have them.

Pat~
01-25-2008, 11:22 PM
...you routinely load up your pill strip with double doses of Advil

...you bend down to pick up something and while you're there you look around to see what else you can pick up

...you color treat the gray in your eyebrows

...you see the jewelry and clothing in your closet advertised on eBay under "Collectibles"

CatSlave
01-25-2008, 11:36 PM
You fantasize about the really great moves your chiropractor puts on you.