View Full Version : You know you're shrinking when .... (& I'm talkin' 'bout height!)

01-20-2008, 08:33 AM
your short jackets seem to get longer and longer!

01-20-2008, 08:47 AM
... when you can look everyone you live with right in the belly button!!

... when you can reach nothing in the kitchen cupboards without the use of the barbeque grabber-thingys

(me = 5'3 3/4 with several pairs of socks on, DH = 6'4, son #1 = 6', son 2 = 6'1") it's lonely down here!

on the good side, though, I stay dry longer in a rain storm!

01-20-2008, 09:03 AM
When you ask yourself "what's that smell" and you realize it's your wife's socks.

Jersey Chick
01-20-2008, 10:09 AM
When the only threat you can issue is "Careful, or I'll bite you in the... knee..."

Just for the record: I'm 5'4, DH is 6'2" and my seven year old can almost look me in the eye. It's just goin' to get worse, innit?

01-20-2008, 10:37 AM
you realise the "height" number you have always given is now incorrect, by an inch

where did it go ?

what's that song ... "short people got no reason to live ..."

01-20-2008, 10:39 AM
your short jackets seem to get longer and longer!Maybe you lost weight? :D

01-20-2008, 10:59 AM
Nah, unfortunately, still as much of me to love. LOL, but sure appreciate the thought!

01-20-2008, 04:16 PM
you realize you'll never make 6' in this life time. ;)

01-20-2008, 05:13 PM
When you start learning more about yourself...

01-20-2008, 05:34 PM
What does DH stand for? o.O

Silver King
01-20-2008, 07:07 PM
What does DH stand for? o.O
Dear Husband.

My wife is pretty short, and if she stands still long enough, I mistake her for an end table and place a beer bottle on her head. That makes her mad every time it happens.

01-20-2008, 07:44 PM
And sometimes Darling Husband. Once in a while, Damn Husband. :)

Lacking 1/4" of being 5'.

01-20-2008, 07:49 PM
...when you just got out of the pool...

01-20-2008, 07:51 PM
You're mistaken for a student at an elementary school. Happens to my wife all the time. (She's about 4' 10").

01-20-2008, 08:04 PM
You have a legitimate concern about this issue, enter the thread about it, and find yourself truly disappointed that everyone seems to be treating it as a joke.

(I'm 5'11" and have had trouble finding pants long enough to my legs since junior high. Recently, I noticed I'm actually WALKING on the backs of my pants. Seriously, this is effed up.)

Silver King
01-20-2008, 08:13 PM
You have a legitimate concern about this issue, enter the thread about it, and find yourself truly disappointed that everyone seems to be treating it as a joke...
What's wrong with the humor? I didn't think we were discussing serious height issues.

I imagine anyone is welcome to offer a more somber tone, though.

01-20-2008, 08:17 PM
What's wrong with the humor? I didn't think we were discussing serious height issues.

I imagine anyone is welcome to offer a more somber tone, though.

No worries, SK. I was actually going for humor myself because I've been walking on my pants and I didn't think that would actually come across as a serious height issue. More that I'm... You know, walking on my pants. But, being as I just pulled a 13-hour, awake overnight shift, I failed miserably. Whoops. Maybe I should have put "truly" in italics. Italics often convey my sarcasm well. Slanty letters are just teasing. Straight letters are all business. Or something to that effect.

01-20-2008, 08:21 PM
Use the sarcastic font. ;)

01-20-2008, 08:30 PM
Mine was a statement. Got sick and tired of the jokes at a very young age. ::and they never stopped:: My husband is the only one who never teased me. He's 5'11" but most think he's 6'. Maybe the broad shoulders. We never figured it out.

My niece always had a problem with clothes. Pants became easier when they came out with tall sizes, but long sleeved blouses and pullovers tended to remain hard to find to fit her. Her arms are long too, so my sister had to shop hard to find ones her daughter could wear.

01-20-2008, 08:31 PM
Use the sarcastic font. ;)

Ooo! That gave me an idea. I could have included a winky smile. Those convey teasing tones just as well as slanty letters, if not better. Thank God for you, Mr. Winking Blue Ball of Doom.

Incidentally, if people on this board winked as often in real life as they do online, everyone would stare at them and think Wow, what a spaz. Or possibly Wow, what a dirty old man.

ETA: (That was the "internal monologue" italics, guys, AND the "I'm only teasing" italics. Just sayin'.)

01-20-2008, 09:01 PM
;) ;) ;)

This would work, too: >.< or -.O or x.X or o.O

01-20-2008, 09:02 PM
How did I find this thread, anyway?

I buy clothes off the rack in China, but admittedly at the upper end of the size-o-meter.

When they took those class photos in kindergarten, and lined up the class from shortest to tallest, I was in front of the girls. I spent the first 16 years of my life that way. Now as I explained on the NFL thread, as one of the shortest 11-year-olds in North Carolina, I played football with the 15-year-olds and learned that my shoulder was the same height as their bellies, meaning they fell down and went boom. I'm 5'10" these days, but in my heart I'll always be a shorty.

What does that mean? Nothing at all. Gimme rep!

P.S. When I swung through Wilmington, North Carolina, at age 12, I was (of course) the shortest person in my homeroom class. Before I showed up, the shortest person in that room was Michael Jordan. Yes, THE Michael Jordan. Damn nice guy, too, unlike the rest in that room.

P.P.S. I left that school after one year, moved to Tampa, Florida, and one of my classmates won a Pulitzer Prize. Which one impressed my students in China more?

P.P.P.S. My brain is shrinking.

01-20-2008, 09:55 PM
...you realize you were the inspiration for the surly gnome, Angus, in my next novel...

01-20-2008, 10:14 PM
Hey, all, thx much for the great posts, like my Kingeth said, humor or sober thoughts are fine. I luv jokin'. :D

01-20-2008, 10:28 PM
what's that song ... "short people got no reason to live ..."
Oh dear. If this is the case, I'm screwed.


01-20-2008, 10:39 PM
...you're standing on the shoulders of giants and you still have to yell "Hey, down in front"...

01-20-2008, 10:40 PM
...you're watching the smurfs and you find yourself secretly wishing that you were three apples high...

01-21-2008, 12:09 AM

01-21-2008, 12:33 AM
Back in the wagon train days I thought I was tall. I'm 5'8.5" and was one of the tallest girls all through school. One of my girlfriends was the tallest at 6'. Then I think we started taking those prenatal vitamins and something happened. My daughter is 5'9" and she has this pack of girlfriends that are anywhere from 5'10 to 6'. I've never seen so many woman who are soooo tall. For the first time in my life I've started to feel short. At my christmas party this year she invited about six of her girlfriends who all wore these 5" heels. My husbands guy friends were in love. They thought this pack of amazon women had come to the party. They were tall, beautiful and took no crap. I swear it was the vitamins!:D

01-21-2008, 01:01 AM
At 5'4" and 3/4 I figure I'm average. What I might lack in height, I've made up for in sheer muscular mid-aged, upper-body bulk from lugging sheets of OSB, etc. I only wish the jackets would grow longer. Instead, they sometimes get harder to button. LOL Especially in winter.

01-21-2008, 04:19 AM
I"m only 5'3'' but I still walk on the back of most of my pants. I have a hard time with pants. I'm short but voluptuous. Makes finding clothes tricky.

01-21-2008, 04:28 AM
Yep, me too, TGD. I'm a shortie, but ultra-voluptuous :D

01-22-2008, 06:44 AM
when you have to look up to someone who is 4' l0".

01-22-2008, 07:03 AM
(For the ladies) If you think Billy Barty is a stud muffin.

01-22-2008, 03:22 PM
You lose in one-on-one basketball games against Bilbo Baggins.

01-22-2008, 05:50 PM
...when your friends have to take off their shoes to high five you...

01-22-2008, 05:54 PM
when the little old ladies at the grocery store are always asking you to hand them that can from the bottom shelf...

01-22-2008, 07:39 PM
Your friends have to take off their shoes just to low-five you.

01-22-2008, 08:21 PM
Your friends have to take off their shoes just to low-five you.Ooooo...ooooo....well played....

01-22-2008, 08:25 PM
...when Tinkerbell rejects you for a date because of your height

01-22-2008, 08:27 PM
...when "knee high to a grasshopper" was once a compliment.

01-22-2008, 08:29 PM
...when Rolls Royce calls you about their new line of inexpensive cars, and they ask you to pose as the hood ornament.

01-22-2008, 09:15 PM
...when somebody comments that "you're lower than a lawyer's belly", and they weren't necessarily being unkind.

01-22-2008, 09:21 PM
You know you're getting shorter when the cat takes less time to jump on your shoulders because you're closer to the ground.

01-23-2008, 02:05 AM
tall people pat you on the head and say, "Hello, shortie."

01-24-2008, 03:00 PM
Your wife leaves you for an Oompa Loompa

01-24-2008, 03:01 PM
Short people pat you on the head and say "Hello, shortie"

01-25-2008, 06:52 AM
when someone says, "OOOOOOO, you're shrinking!"

01-25-2008, 02:47 PM
You win at lambada contests without bending your back

01-25-2008, 03:33 PM
Your wife points and laughs

01-25-2008, 05:40 PM
You're walking down the street on Halloween, just minding your own business, not bothering anybody, when someone asks you, "And what are you supposed to be dressed as, little man?"

01-25-2008, 05:41 PM
A bunch of unemployed actors who once portrayed Ewoks hunt you down and beat your ass for posting so much crap to this AW thread...and they're all taller than you.

01-25-2008, 05:44 PM
You know why there were so many Smurfs but only one Smurfette

01-25-2008, 07:48 PM
You walk up to a dachshund and say "Nice udders"

01-25-2008, 07:53 PM
You know what I'm talking about when I mention opening the comic book to the pages in the back and ordering those lifts you can put in your shoes.

You know how, in kindergarten, they line up the class from shortest to tallest for the photos? I was always in front of the girls. Shorty!

01-25-2008, 08:14 PM
You stand on your cat's back to reach the high shelves

01-26-2008, 10:50 PM
Drownin' in the rain
You're drownin' in the rain...

01-26-2008, 11:40 PM
The dang bugs say, "Oh, look at that shorty."

05-10-2010, 09:11 AM
Your waistband comes up to your armpits and your pants legs cover your shoes.

06-27-2010, 02:52 PM
You are a Human Cannonball and people are launching you out of their vuvuzelas.

(Why does that sound vaguely obscene?)

06-28-2010, 01:36 AM
I'm 4'8 and 1/2'', really skinny, and people think I'm in elementary school.

06-28-2010, 01:38 AM
I'm 4'8 and 1/2'', really skinny, and people think I'm in elementary school.
You mean they're not afraid of the toothpick?

06-28-2010, 01:43 AM
Worse... they mistake me for the toothpick.

06-28-2010, 01:43 AM
I buy clothes off the rack in China, but admittedly at the upper end of the size-o-meter

Only place in the world I felt tall. Lived there for three years.

Then went to Sweden and felt like a founding member of the Lollipop Guild. And I'm not even that short, really.


06-28-2010, 01:49 AM
Worse... they mistake me for the toothpick.