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Bravo
01-19-2008, 08:11 AM
radar online claims to have questions scientologists ask new recruits.

here's a sample:

Have you ever enslaved a population?


yes, but the damn oompa loompas escaped.


Have you ever killed the wrong person?

i'm a professional. i never miss.



• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?


no but i did suck on a few while frenching.


Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

is sleeping with cadavers considered unnatural?



Have you ever made love to a dead body?


wait a second.....


Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

one time when i was younger, i nicked my face while shaving. :(




see the rest here:

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/01/tom-cruise-scientology-sec-whole-track-questionnaire.php#comments

Bravo
01-19-2008, 08:12 AM
tom cruise loves you.

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060913/060913_tomCruise_vsmall.widec.jpg

StoryG27
01-19-2008, 08:20 AM
Wow, that is by far the strangest quiz. I had to laugh at all the questions. Too bizarre.

I have zapped someone. Sometimes, my mother claims I did come to this Earth with evil purposes and she also claims I drove her insane. And of course I have systematically set up mysteries. . .I'm a writer, duh.

I can say with some certainty though that I have not given robots a bad name.

brokenfingers
01-19-2008, 08:31 AM
Yes.

This is a gossip site and also has Huckabee appointing Chuck Norris as Sec of Defense and Rick Flair as Dir of HomeSec.

I just hope everybody here is aware of that and that this doesn't add to the ridiculous amount of disinformation, lies and urban legends muddying up the waters of the internet and any issues discussed.

I can just see somebody quoting this in another thread as fact.

Kerr
01-19-2008, 08:41 AM
My mother always said I was a nut-magnet. Wherever I went, nuts came out of the woodworks. What could I say, they were always more interesting. Now, I'm wondering if I've ever met Tom Cruise and forgot.

Williebee
01-19-2008, 08:48 AM
I write fiction. Dis-information is my life.

That being said, even I wouldn't buy this questionnaire, as being from Scientology or the Holy Church of Elvis. There wasn't an alien question in the group:

"Have you ever lied to an alien about where your leader was?"

Bravo
01-19-2008, 10:42 AM
Yes.

This is a gossip site and also has Huckabee appointing Chuck Norris as Sec of Defense and Rick Flair as Dir of HomeSec.

I just hope everybody here is aware of that and that this doesn't add to the ridiculous amount of disinformation, lies and urban legends muddying up the waters of the internet and any issues discussed.

I can just see somebody quoting this in another thread as fact.

are you now, or have you ever been in any previous lifetimes, a member of the church of scientology?

dpaterso
01-19-2008, 12:32 PM
Agreed, this is nothing like the Scientology questionnaire I received. Tom Cruise is only one member, he isn't even a prime number with access to the mysteries, he's just a media decoy. So, watch your step.

-Derek

brokenfingers
01-19-2008, 03:54 PM
are you now, or have you ever been in any previous lifetimes, a member of the church of scientology?Do not seek to ridicule us, human.

robeiae
01-19-2008, 04:13 PM
Rick Flair as Dir of HomeSec.
For some reason, this strikes me as a good idea. I can't put my finger on it though.

The Chuck Norris appointment, not so much.

thethinker42
01-19-2008, 07:10 PM
Have you ever enslaved a population?

I was in lower management at one point, does that count?

Have you ever killed the wrong person?

My lawyer has advised me not to answer this question.


Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?


There is no way I can answer this question without being banned for vulgarity...


Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

Define "unnatural"...


Have you ever made love to a dead body?

Well, my ex-boyfriend didn't do much...does that count?

Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

I'm not touching this one...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-19-2008, 09:04 PM
Gee... hope we don't have any Scientologists on board to offend.

Unique
01-19-2008, 11:25 PM
media decoy.


Do not seek to ridicule us, human.


For some reason, this strikes me as a good idea. I can't put my finger on it though.

The Chuck Norris appointment, not so much.

No worries.


Told ya Rob was smart. :D

Bravo
01-19-2008, 11:31 PM
Gee... hope we don't have any Scientologists on board to offend.

we're all scientologists.

KTC
01-19-2008, 11:33 PM
You don't disfigure beautiful things. You simply hate them with a passion.

Bartholomew
01-19-2008, 11:33 PM
Gee... hope we don't have any Scientologists on board to offend.

Writers aren't rich enough to be Scientologists. Not a knock on 'em, just a fact.

maxmordon
01-20-2008, 01:33 AM
All you need to know about the practice of Scientology:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB8vJ8F0OME

All you need to know about the history of Scientology:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SyHLXvqPdY

LimeyDawg
01-20-2008, 09:28 AM
Have you ever enslaved a population?

I once blew my nose into a Kleenex then spent two hours showing my friends before releasing them into the wastebasket.

No, but a girlfriend in college "enslaved" my "population" in my testicles for a month after an unfortunate fat joke.

Have you ever killed the wrong person?

Yes, but it turns out he was going to die one day anyway.


• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?


Not with my hands...


Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

No, I don't practice sex. I've learned to do it properly regardless of the position.


Have you ever made love to a dead body?

No, my rule with dead bodies is wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am.

Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

Yes, I once caught my dingly bits in my zipper. I still have the scar.

akiwiguy
01-20-2008, 11:02 AM
Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?


What, like the missionary position? Sod off, what do you think I am, a total weirdo or something?

LimeyDawg
01-20-2008, 10:00 PM
What, like the missionary position? Sod off, what do you think I am, a total weirdo or something?
Right, who wants to do it with a missionary?

BenPanced
01-20-2008, 11:48 PM
Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

Yeah, and I sent the guy flowers afterwards.

benbradley
01-21-2008, 12:23 AM
This video is Not About Scientology Nor About Any Group You've Ever Seen Nor Heard Of (ahem):
Mind Control Made Easy (http://youtube.com/watch?v=V4-Hms7bHqY)