Take the Scientologist Quiz

Wow, that is by far the strangest quiz. I had to laugh at all the questions. Too bizarre.

I have zapped someone. Sometimes, my mother claims I did come to this Earth with evil purposes and she also claims I drove her insane. And of course I have systematically set up mysteries. . .I'm a writer, duh.

I can say with some certainty though that I have not given robots a bad name.

Yes.

This is a gossip site and also has Huckabee appointing Chuck Norris as Sec of Defense and Rick Flair as Dir of HomeSec.

I just hope everybody here is aware of that and that this doesn't add to the ridiculous amount of disinformation, lies and urban legends muddying up the waters of the internet and any issues discussed.

I can just see somebody quoting this in another thread as fact.

My mother always said I was a nut-magnet. Wherever I went, nuts came out of the woodworks. What could I say, they were always more interesting. Now, I'm wondering if I've ever met Tom Cruise and forgot.

I write fiction. Dis-information is my life.

That being said, even I wouldn't buy this questionnaire, as being from Scientology or the Holy Church of Elvis. There wasn't an alien question in the group:

"Have you ever lied to an alien about where your leader was?"

Bravo said:

are you now, or have you ever been in any previous lifetimes, a member of the church of scientology?

Click to expand...

Do not seek to ridicule us, human.

brokenfingers said:

Rick Flair as Dir of HomeSec.

Click to expand...

For some reason, this strikes me as a good idea. I can't put my finger on it though.

The Chuck Norris appointment, not so much.

Have you ever enslaved a population?

I was in lower management at one point, does that count?

Have you ever killed the wrong person?

My lawyer has advised me not to answer this question.


• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?


There is no way I can answer this question without being banned for vulgarity...


Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

Define "unnatural"...


Have you ever made love to a dead body?

Well, my ex-boyfriend didn't do much...does that count?

Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

I'm not touching this one...

Gee... hope we don't have any Scientologists on board to offend.

media decoy.

Click to expand...

brokenfingers said:

Do not seek to ridicule us, human.

Click to expand...

robeiae said:

For some reason, this strikes me as a good idea. I can't put my finger on it though.

The Chuck Norris appointment, not so much.

Click to expand...

No worries.


Told ya Rob was smart.

You don't disfigure beautiful things. You simply hate them with a passion.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

Gee... hope we don't have any Scientologists on board to offend.

Click to expand...

Writers aren't rich enough to be Scientologists. Not a knock on 'em, just a fact.

All you need to know about the practice of Scientology:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB8vJ8F0OME

All you need to know about the history of Scientology:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SyHLXvqPdY

Have you ever enslaved a population?

I once blew my nose into a Kleenex then spent two hours showing my friends before releasing them into the wastebasket.

No, but a girlfriend in college "enslaved" my "population" in my testicles for a month after an unfortunate fat joke.

Have you ever killed the wrong person?

Yes, but it turns out he was going to die one day anyway.


• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?


Not with my hands...


Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

No, I don't practice sex. I've learned to do it properly regardless of the position.


Have you ever made love to a dead body?

No, my rule with dead bodies is wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am.

Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

Yes, I once caught my dingly bits in my zipper. I still have the scar.

Bravo said:

Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

Click to expand...

What, like the missionary position? Sod off, what do you think I am, a total weirdo or something?

akiwiguy said:

What, like the missionary position? Sod off, what do you think I am, a total weirdo or something?

Click to expand...

Right, who wants to do it with a missionary?

Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

Yeah, and I sent the guy flowers afterwards.

This video is Not About Scientology Nor About Any Group You've Ever Seen Nor Heard Of (ahem):
Mind Control Made Easy