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View Full Version : i'd like to urge you all to quit



William Haskins
03-12-2005, 02:50 AM
obviously, developing skills as a writer is an important consideration. however, i find that my career would be best served by not having any competition.

in the spirit of realizing my dream, i respectfully ask that you all quit writing.

i know this may be hard to do. obviously, you have adoring relatives, impressed teachers and maybe even checks from editors - all of which are a living testament to your greatness. but they are wrong.

wrong, i say.

then who's right? everyone who ever told you that you suck. every rejection letter, every moment of self-doubt. therein lies the truth.

so, just stop.

i need the work.

respectfully yours,
william

p.s. since responding to this post would require use of your awesome writing skills, i ask that you don't.

just stop. for real. right now. nobody wants to read your crap.

oh yeah, and a note to editors: call me. you have no choice now.

Gehanna
03-12-2005, 04:19 AM
Yer hired!
I have a 5 page list of topics that still need to be addressed right away.
If your writing brings in the dough, you might even get paid.
As for me, I'm taking a much needed vacation.

Gehanna

arrowqueen
03-12-2005, 04:25 AM
B...but how will I buy food?

Okay. Silly question. If I starve to death that'll be even less competition.

Fair enough.

JennaGlatzer
03-13-2005, 09:05 AM
You got it! How much do you know about the effects of mitochondria on asthenozoospermia?

See ya later... I'm going to Hawaii to make shell creatures.

William Haskins
03-13-2005, 09:16 AM
How much do you know about the effects of mitochondria on asthenozoospermia?

enough to use protection.

Birol
03-13-2005, 09:51 AM
Just what I learned in A Wind in The Door.

Galoot
03-13-2005, 10:25 AM
It's a deal. Every bookstore in America has built fifteen feet of new shelving. Get to work. I'm going to the beach.

Inspired
03-13-2005, 05:02 PM
Trust me. I'm not a big threat!

At the pace I'm going, I won't be a threat to any other writer.

(Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today.)

alanna
03-14-2005, 02:20 AM
Just what I learned in A Wind in The Door.

good book

Moondancer
03-14-2005, 02:38 AM
There's a problem with your theory. Perhaps you should tell all the ones better than you to quit. The ones who are worse can only make you look better.

William Haskins
03-14-2005, 02:40 AM
The ones who are worse can only make you look better.

there are none worse. therein lies the crux of my problem.

alanna
03-14-2005, 02:46 AM
there are none worse. therein lies the crux of my problem.

I think you need a bit of ego boosting.

::attempts to channel cheerleader::

GO WILLIAM!!!!!!

::hangs head, noting that she failed abysmally::

seriously though, I've read some of the stuff you've posted, and I can guaruntee you there's worse...

my poem I wrote three years ago on "How to Eat Spaghetti" is one. I can't remember all of it. I lost the file. I am forever grateful. The first line was, "When eating spaghetti, one must not forget to slurp..."

Don't ask. It was a very odd year.

Sarita
03-14-2005, 07:16 PM
The first line was, "When eating spaghetti, one must not forget to slurp..."

It must have been a spaghetti phase. Mine went, "Spaghetti and dreams, dreams and spaghetti."

And many more lines filled with suck. That's what I got for being 16, wheww, thank jeebus that was a long time ago! :crazy:

Moondancer
03-14-2005, 07:19 PM
there are none worse. therein lies the crux of my problem.

Even given the fact that all I have read from you is your posts on this board, I can guarantee there are worse than you.

HapiSofi
03-15-2005, 02:31 AM
obviously, developing skills as a writer is an important consideration. however, i find that my career would be best served by not having any competition.

in the spirit of realizing my dream, i respectfully ask that you all quit writing. ...

oh yeah, and a note to editors: call me. you have no choice now.I'm charmed. That's a nice little piece of writing.

Unfortunately, what you're up against isn't your fellow writers; it's the reading public's short attention span and their boundless desire for immediate gratification. If you can scratch that itch, you can get published, whether or not your fellow writers keep trying. If you can't, readers aren't going to buy your books anyway.

Besides, if the Good Fairy granted your wish, and all the other writers gave up, the publishing industry would simply shift over to reprinting good works that have fallen out of print. There's no shortage of them.

William Haskins
03-15-2005, 03:53 AM
damn it!

alanna
03-15-2005, 03:54 AM
lol

Melina
03-15-2005, 07:23 PM
:ROFL: OMG, Haskins, you are so frickin' funny! Thanks for making Pepsi shoot out of my nose yet again...

Melina

ritinrider
03-15-2005, 07:28 PM
Melina, quit drinking Pepsi while at the cooler. Ya know someone's gonna say somthing that'll cause ya to spray.


And um, btw, weren't you giving up Pepsi? How's come you were drinking the vile stuff anyway?

Nita

Melina
03-15-2005, 07:50 PM
Oops! Busted, dammit! See, now, what you've done, Haskins? You got me in trouble with my "get healthy" buddies!

Uh, oh--Hi, Nita:scared: Uh, yeah--I am supposed to be giving up that "vile" stuff. I gotta monkey on my back! It just won't leave me alone! Don't tell, huh? I can't stand to go through an intervention. I'll be good from now on, okay? You believe me, doncha?

:cry:

Melina

HapiSofi
03-15-2005, 08:32 PM
You know it's a successful piece of writing when it makes your readers involuntarily expel fluids.

William Haskins
03-15-2005, 10:23 PM
Oops! Busted, dammit! See, now, what you've done, Haskins? You got me in trouble with my "get healthy" buddies!

all part of my master plan to save you from yourself. by spraying the pepsi out your nose, your kidneys will live to fight another day.

of course, you will be billed accordingly.

dr. william

SRHowen
03-15-2005, 10:34 PM
Oh, I thought it was so their keyboards fried and they couldn't write--at least till they got a new one.

Shawn

Maryn
03-16-2005, 01:10 AM
I'm not good enough to be scary in the slightest. Nor do I work hard enough at it. However, I am good enough that when I needed a really badly-written line for a story I entered in a contest (didn't win--see?), I had to find one online and change it. I just couldn't write something suitably awful enough. I suppose that's progress, eh?

Maryn

QuietDreamer
03-17-2005, 01:16 AM
Well here is my humble opinion about comparing yourself to other writers. Typically, I find comparing yourself to another writer can either vastly improve your writing or pull you into a hole. The hole being the "I'll never be as good as that guy" hole. We should all avoid this hole.

My thought is that all stories are kinda like music. Though people may have thier opinions on "what's better" or "what's horrible", it is only that, just an opinion. I believe that nothing I write is better nor worse than anything else that has been written. Just different. If you don't like my writing, than there is probably someone out there that does. I have tried to submit my book for publishing and have been told a range of things (all ended in rejection, some closer to success than others) from "Your writing style is too simple" to "Your writing style is simple, which is your strong point but I don't think there is a market for this particular genre."

Neither one of them wanted to publish my book (The bastards!), but at the same time I was told that my weak point is also my strong point by two different publishers. So what am I trying to say here? Just be yourself and keep trying. There may be 1000 publishers that say no, but if you get even 1 that can relate to your style, your in and have a gold oppurtunity to prove those who have rejected you in the past wrong.

Good luck to everyone still trying to get thier work published, don't give up!

Chris

Vipersniper
03-17-2005, 02:27 AM
:Jump: Since I has no apptitude for writin and I should find another hobby perhaps it should be critics that are in the starvation line. Hmmh not hardly since when was writing a hobby? But then again in my case it might be. But don't tell anyone that my other hobby is that of a serial killer of critics that say that I do not have any apptitude for my first hobby.

robeiae
08-12-2006, 06:28 PM
I quit.

oswann
08-12-2006, 06:33 PM
It's not enough for me to win. I need others to lose which implies competition of some sort. Of course I play dirty and there is no such thing as a hollow victory as far as I'm concerned there are just winners and losers. But hey, that's me if you all want to bumble about aimlessly and talk about the joys of participating that's fine too.


Os.

dclary
08-12-2006, 06:36 PM
Haskins, as I cannot possibly finish the trillion masterpieces I have planned, I give you permission to continue writing, to fill in the void left by the masses longing for more Clary.

You can be Gardner to my Fleming.

SpookyWriter
08-12-2006, 06:46 PM
seriously though, I've read some of the stuff you've posted, and I can guaruntee you there's worse...:roll:

Good Word
08-12-2006, 07:35 PM
Now what prompted the dredging up of this thread?

Curiouser and curiouser...

Unique
08-12-2006, 07:37 PM
Better this one than some of the others we have buried.

English Dave
08-12-2006, 07:42 PM
You know it's a successful piece of writing when it makes your readers involuntarily expel fluids.

Ah you've read 'The Story of O' as well?

Raiyah
08-12-2006, 07:58 PM
well finally someone said it! Thats is, I'm out to go shopping, Haskins you write the next masterpeice instead.

William Haskins
08-12-2006, 08:07 PM
this thread is more than a year old. i have since quit writing, myself.

robeiae
08-12-2006, 08:29 PM
The glorious truth that is Your Message deserved to be heard again! Yea, wilt I shout it from the mountaintops of AW. From sea to sea wilt it be heard! From the darkest truths, to the brightest lies (for those playing at home, both can be found in HOL or in any exchange between Mac and Birol)!

And so to, shall the Journey that led me to Your Message be heard! HEar me! The story will inspire millions for all times, until the Final Days of the End Times!

BTW, I've decided to publish this as a book--based on fact, but with some artistic liscense in play--to help others find the One True Path. It will be like the Celestine Prophecies meet Indiana Jones. Hopefully, Cruise will play Haskins in the movie (Leonardo DiCaprio will play me).

maestrowork
08-12-2006, 08:31 PM
I was never a writer.

PattiTheWicked
08-12-2006, 08:32 PM
William is right.

I quit.

Minimalist Patti

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-12-2006, 08:38 PM
You know it's a successful piece of writing when it makes your readers involuntarily expel fluids.

Depends on which fluids you're hoping for, I suppose. ;)

Bird of Prey
08-12-2006, 09:01 PM
obviously, developing skills as a writer is an important consideration. however, i find that my career would be best served by not having any competition.

in the spirit of realizing my dream, i respectfully ask that you all quit writing.

i know this may be hard to do. obviously, you have adoring relatives, impressed teachers and maybe even checks from editors - all of which are a living testament to your greatness. but they are wrong..

??


then who's right? everyone who ever told you that you suck. every rejection letter, every moment of self-doubt. therein lies the truth..

!!



respectfully yours,
william

p.s. since responding to this post would require use of your awesome writing skills, i ask that you don't.

just stop. for real. right now. nobody wants to read your crap.

oh yeah, and a note to editors: call me. you have no choice now.

00

http://mredon.free.fr/rats2fo.jpg

K1P1
08-12-2006, 09:09 PM
Humph. I think it's a trick. I won't stop writing unless you pay me. What's it worth to you?

William Haskins
08-12-2006, 09:15 PM
again, i was going through a really bad patch when i made the initial post. it was childish spite and jealously that led me to try and trick you all.

the truth, of course, is that you are all exceptional writers... all of you. i mean like f. scott fitzgerald good.

please continue to write. don't mind me.

Bird of Prey
08-12-2006, 09:23 PM
again, i was going through a really bad patch when i made the initial post. it was childish spite and jealously that led me to try and trick you all.

the truth, of course, is that you are all exceptional writers... all of you. i mean like f. scott fitzgerald good.

please continue to write. don't mind me.

I heard that.

Unique
08-12-2006, 09:34 PM
again, i was going through a really bad patch when i made the initial post. it was childish spite and jealously that led me to try and trick you all.

the truth, of course, is that you are all exceptional writers... all of you. i mean like f. scott fitzgerald good.

please continue to write. don't mind me.


damn. I'd hoped I was better than that.

K1P1
08-12-2006, 09:36 PM
again, i was going through a really bad patch when i made the initial post. it was childish spite and jealously that led me to try and trick you all.


Funny how these things always come back to haunt us, isn't it?

William Haskins
08-12-2006, 09:49 PM
yes, ha-ha funny and ironic funny. where you piss yourself, but are strangely wistful about it.

astonwest
08-12-2006, 11:56 PM
yes, ha-ha funny and ironic funny. where you piss yourself, but are strangely wistful about it.Wizzful, perhaps...

scfirenice
08-13-2006, 12:34 AM
If you've had alot of beer- Fizzfull....

Celia Cyanide
08-13-2006, 01:29 AM
again, i was going through a really bad patch when i made the initial post. it was childish spite and jealously that led me to try and trick you all.

the truth, of course, is that you are all exceptional writers... all of you. i mean like f. scott fitzgerald good.

please continue to write. don't mind me.

Reverse psychology. Nice.

Too late, Haskins, I've already given it up. Nobody deserves to be as miserable as I am when I'm writing.

eldragon
08-13-2006, 01:30 AM
in the spirit of realizing my dream, i respectfully ask that you all quit writing.



Ok.


I quit.

Will there be anything else?

eldragon
08-13-2006, 01:32 AM
This thread is old. Hey -

Haggis
08-13-2006, 01:43 AM
I can't quit. I haven't submitted yet. Should I submit first, then quit?

SpookyWriter
08-13-2006, 02:02 AM
I can't quit. I haven't submitted yet. Should I submit first, then quit?Don't bother. The postal service has a special rejection file on you already. Be happy, go fishing and leave the real writing to the pros like Mr. Haskins. :)

SpookyWriter
08-13-2006, 02:14 AM
With a 0% Rejection rate? Fahghetaboutit. Just quit now, while you're ahead.Start dating again and get used to rejection so you'll be prepared.

Haggis
08-13-2006, 02:20 AM
Start dating again and get used to rejection so you'll be prepared.

It's not as though I'm not trying to date. It's just that my girlfriend has issues with it.

SpookyWriter
08-13-2006, 02:30 AM
It's not as though I'm not trying to date. It's just that my girlfriend has issues with it.Have her call me, I'll explain everything...;)

Haggis
08-13-2006, 02:47 AM
Have her call me, I'll explain everything...;)

Why don't you call her for me, Spook. She's in the book.

http://www.womensctr.org/images/auction/PHYLLIS%20DILLER.jpg

SpookyWriter
08-13-2006, 03:07 AM
Why don't you call her for me, Spook. She's in the book.

I believe you are an unfaithful man and women should be alerted to your scandalist ways (whatever happened to Julia?), so I will call Ms. Diller (in the afterlife) and explain your infidelity. Cad! ;)

kappapi99
08-13-2006, 04:27 AM
I did quit. Then I quit again. Then, once again, I quit. Once I did that, you know what I did? I quit.

Then I became such a quitter, I even quit quitting.

KP

robeiae
08-13-2006, 04:32 AM
That's bloody easy:

forever

See?

SpookyWriter
08-13-2006, 05:21 AM
I did quit. Then I quit again. Then, once again, I quit. Once I did that, you know what I did? I quit.

Then I became such a quitter, I even quit quitting.

KPThe road to success is joining the military and becoming target practice for radicals in the ME>2...theater..if you survive then it is a successful mission.

Alan Yee
08-13-2006, 05:52 AM
I will never quit, Mr. William Haskins.

NEVER!!!!!!!!

I'm just getting started.

I won't quit until I'm old/senile/in a coma/fingers are all amputated/my muse catches on fire and takes all my inspiration, stories, novels, and works-in-progress with her or him/I get kidnapped/shot/stabbed/whatever by a crazed fan or enemy/I get seriously injured and have irreversible brain damage/I die.

Get the picture?

:D

Jaycinth
08-14-2006, 11:07 PM
William. You started this thread then recanted. No one made you recant. How can you possibly recant when no one is making you recant?

That is a blatant usurpation of the department of inquisition, latex and tar. Next I suppose you'll be trimming the appendages off your own hands and screaming for no reason in the dark.

I'm going to enter numerical data on a spread sheet and when I'm finished I'm going to use words.

When I die, I'm going to will you all my unpublished stuff. That will make you think twice about personal hygiene!