Or at any rate, it's trying to be a novella. Or it needs someone to slap it back into being a short story. As it's a first draft, I don't yet have any clue how to summarize it, so I'll post the first few paragraphs here.
“Evening, Mrs. Gable,” he called. “Everything alright?”
“Hey, Tenny. Or should I say Deputy Wills? Everything’s just dandy.”
“Ain’t it a little cold to be out here? Hardware store don’t open for another eight hours.” He returned her smile, embarrassed by how thin the joke was.
“You know, I just live upstairs. Just wanted some fresh air,” she said. Her voice sounded rough, from the cold or the cigarette.
“You sure everything’s alright?”
Her smile faded, settled into deep lines around her mouth. Stamping out her cigarette, she stepped away from the building and leaned down to look in the window of the prowler. Except for her lipstick, she looked deathly pale.
“I suppose you want a freebie like Couey used to get,” she said. “Only thing, you can’t be pullin’ up like this. Couey used to park up behind the service station, walk down here. And you can’t—you can’t be takin’ advantage of it. I got bills to pay. I can’t always be doin' it for free.”
“Beg pardon?” Tenny said for want of anything else to say. He’d heard her clear enough.
***
Shoot me a PM if you'd be willing to take a shot at the rest of it. I'll gladly recip on something of a similar size.
MIDDLE SPRING AND AFTER
Tenny had been the sheriff’s deputy for all of two months the first time he noticed Mrs. Gable standing in front of the hardware store, smoking a cigarette. It was nearly midnight and cold as a witch’s tit, according to the dispatcher, Garnett, who was snug and warm at the station. Tenny pulled the patrol car over to the curb and leaned across to roll down the window.
“Evening, Mrs. Gable,” he called. “Everything alright?”
“Hey, Tenny. Or should I say Deputy Wills? Everything’s just dandy.”
“Ain’t it a little cold to be out here? Hardware store don’t open for another eight hours.” He returned her smile, embarrassed by how thin the joke was.
“You know, I just live upstairs. Just wanted some fresh air,” she said. Her voice sounded rough, from the cold or the cigarette.
“You sure everything’s alright?”
Her smile faded, settled into deep lines around her mouth. Stamping out her cigarette, she stepped away from the building and leaned down to look in the window of the prowler. Except for her lipstick, she looked deathly pale.
“I suppose you want a freebie like Couey used to get,” she said. “Only thing, you can’t be pullin’ up like this. Couey used to park up behind the service station, walk down here. And you can’t—you can’t be takin’ advantage of it. I got bills to pay. I can’t always be doin' it for free.”
“Beg pardon?” Tenny said for want of anything else to say. He’d heard her clear enough.
***
Shoot me a PM if you'd be willing to take a shot at the rest of it. I'll gladly recip on something of a similar size.