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SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 12:08 AM
I became the Tobacco Man recently. My neighbors, who decided to quit smoking for some reason or another, appointed me their personal abstinent trainer.

Problem is, I am training them to "Hey buddy, can I buy one of those off you?" while I lounge outside my window smoking a cigarette, from a pack, that I purchased earlier at the convenience store.

Now I don't mind people making commitments for better health. But I am drawing a line in the sand when it comes to making me hold the stash while they conveniently forget all those commitments to a better life.

So the next person who inquires to my pack of purchased gags will find an unwelcome digit pursuant to a verbal affirmation.

Don't you just love those New Year resolutioners who stick to the plan.

:rant:

melaniehoo
01-12-2008, 12:15 AM
Are you at least making a profit?

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 12:16 AM
No, but I am meeting more women than before the holidays.

nerds
01-12-2008, 12:51 AM
No, but I am meeting more women than before the holidays.


And he just got a great deal on his car insurance by switching to SmokeCo.

:hat:

Shadow_Ferret
01-12-2008, 01:33 AM
Could you spare a smoke? Just one. I'm trying to quit, but you know, I threw my cigs away, and I have this craving.

davids
01-12-2008, 01:37 AM
I became the Tobacco Man recently. My neighbors, who decided to quit smoking for some reason or another, appointed me their personal abstinent trainer.

Problem is, I am training them to "Hey buddy, can I buy one of those off you?" while I lounge outside my window smoking a cigarette, from a pack, that I purchased earlier at the convenience store.

Now I don't mind people making commitments for better health. But I am drawing a line in the sand when it comes to making me hold the stash while they conveniently forget all those commitments to a better life.

So the next person who inquires to my pack of purchased GAGS will find an unwelcome digit pursuant to a verbal affirmation.

Don't you just love those New Year resolutioners who stick to the plan.

:rant:
I SMOKED A GAG THE OTHER DAY-TASTE GREAT AND THEY ARE MILD!!!!:tongue

hermit authoress
01-12-2008, 01:44 AM
Hey, the good news is they're at least offering to buy them off of you. I can't be so lucky...

For about two or three months at the end of last year, it seems the entire street was bumming off of me--or at least, attempting to do so. They were sending my kids in asking me for a cigarette and a couple of people specifically were repeating the request almost daily.

For those who make NY's resolutions, I can almost understand that.

As for me, I'm surrounded by a bunch of unemployed neighbors who make it their daily quest to drive me to resent being sober than to get a job. Ugh.

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 02:40 AM
Hey, the good news is they're at least offering to buy them off of you. I can't be so lucky...Offers and money are slim. They can approach me with a hand balled up and pretend a dollar. I know all too well how to fake a buck or two when I am in need of a vice. :)

Silver King
01-12-2008, 03:29 AM
One way to avoid the problem is to tell them that you've quit. Then blow smoke in their faces.

They'll say, "No you haven't!"

Assure them that you have and say, "I quit all right. I quit giving out all my smokes to you spongers. Now leave me alone!"

Then finish your smoke in peace.

davids
01-12-2008, 03:30 AM
A chaw in time saves nine'n moochers to boot! Here you go mooch if it is that bad you can have half my chaw-sure shuts the bastardos up quick enough!

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 03:43 AM
I just had another neighbor, chatting away on his cell phone, motion to me. "Spare a smoke?"

I tossed him an empty box.

Silver King
01-12-2008, 04:06 AM
I just had another neighbor, chatting away on his cell phone, motion to me. "Spare a smoke?"

I tossed him an empty box.
Now you're talkin'.

I wonder if these same people ask to siphon gas out of your car when they're low on fuel.

"Please, Jon. I just need a gallon a two."

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 04:08 AM
Now you're talkin'.

I wonder if these same people ask to siphon gas out of your car when they're low on fuel.

"Please, Jon. I just need a gallon a two."They don't have cars. Thank my lucky stars. Spare a quarter for the bus? Now that I can understand.

Jongfan
01-12-2008, 04:15 AM
Oh one of my peeves.. I don't mind a fellow smoker who just ran out and needs to bum one.. but those who claim " I've just quit smoking.. it's tough man.. can I bum a smoke?"

Um.. you didn't quit smoking.. You quit BUYING

or.. the ever classic " Do you have an extra smoke?" I then look at the pack, read
20 class a cigarettes.. hmm doesn't say anything about an extra one for a mooch

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 04:20 AM
Oh, I had forgot that word. Mooch. I think Mooch was also that guy on t.v. The one with pock marked face and square glasses. Who who? I can't remember the show.

nerds
01-12-2008, 04:26 AM
oooh, a friend of mine just sent me forty Class A American Spirit Blues in the mail. Which I cannot lay my hands on in this backwater I am living in. Heaven.

hermit authoress
01-12-2008, 05:18 AM
Oh, I had forgot that word. Mooch. I think Mooch was also that guy on t.v. The one with pock marked face and square glasses. Who who? I can't remember the show.

Well, there was a Moochie Daniels from The Shaggy Dog.

Then there was Lewis Dumicci from Grease 2.

That's all I have. I can't seem to connect the face with a similar name.

Only other piece of information I found was Bengi (whose actual name was Higgins) was in a show where his name was Mooch and worked along side the unforgettable Vincent Price. The show was, appropriately named, Mooch.

:Shrug:. o O (I'm fresh outta idears but I tried.)

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 05:23 AM
I'm sure it wasn't Edward Munch. Mooch was a cop. Go figure. He liked donuts. I just can't place the show.

http://www.mnc.net/norway/munch-selfpor.jpg

CACTUSWENDY
01-12-2008, 05:26 AM
But Spook, you said you are getting to meet women. Weigh the cost. It might prove to be better than the 1-900-babes you have been calling. Even better than the truelove.com you are enrolled in.

I mean.....geeeezzzzzz give love a chance. :roll:

SpookyWriter
01-12-2008, 05:32 AM
But Spook, you said you are getting to meet women. Weigh the cost. It might prove to be better than the 1-900-babes you have been calling. Even better than the truelove.com you are enrolled in.

I mean.....geeeezzzzzz give love a chance. :roll:I weighed them by sight. Texas beef weighs less and is more tasty. Beside, I don't mind a cow smoking just so long as it's not mine.