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maestrowork
01-09-2008, 12:56 PM
This one is addictive...

Replace one word in your favorite movie quotes (if the word repeats, replace all occurrence) with the word "pants."

I'll start:

Snakes on the Plane: I want to see these m-f snakes off this m-f pants!

Atonement: The story can resume. I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without pants.

Atonement: He looks like he has pubic hair growing out of his pants.

Bmwhtly
01-09-2008, 01:32 PM
"I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pants the moment you hit atmo."

hehe, that is fun.

Voyager
01-09-2008, 01:35 PM
hehe, remember the all time famous one? "Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants!"

"Oh Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the pants."

"A maiden aunt is an ideal person to select pants for young girls."

Both from Now Voyager

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 01:59 PM
Leia: I love pants.
Han: I know.

Bmwhtly
01-09-2008, 02:29 PM
Frankly, my pants. I don't give a damn.

PattiTheWicked
01-09-2008, 05:00 PM
Titanic: "I'd rather be his pants than your wife."

Gladiator: "What we do in life echoes in pants."

Army of Darkness: "Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... pants."

nerds
01-09-2008, 05:03 PM
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?

Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the pants.

Renault: The pants? What pants? We're in the desert.

Rick: I was misinformed.

ChaosTitan
01-09-2008, 07:48 PM
Jaws: We're gonna need bigger pants.

The Search for Spock: You Klingon bastard, you killed my pants.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Only one day as a woman and I'm already getting hot pants.

auntybug
01-09-2008, 07:54 PM
3 amigos: Would you like to kiss me on my pants?
Lips would be fine.

Lyra Jean
01-09-2008, 08:04 PM
Wizard of Oz: We're off to see the Wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Pants.

Almost any episode of X-Files: Scully after everything you've seen how come you still don't believe in the existence of pants.
I'm sorry Mulder but I need scientific evidence.

scarletpeaches
01-09-2008, 08:14 PM
Gladiator:

"Am I not PANTS???"

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my pants, in this life or the next."

"You sold me queer pants and I want my money back."

"Are you not pants? Is this not why you are here?"

"Shadows and pants."

"Strength and pants!"

"Commodus, please...your incessant scheming is giving me pants."

"You loved my pants, I know. That makes us brothers."

ChunkyC
01-09-2008, 08:14 PM
Hehe, too funny....

From Rocky:

Mickey: Your pants is broken.
Rocky: How does it look?
Mickey: Ah, it's an improvement.

Star Wars:

Darth Vader: He is here.
Governor Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi? What makes you think so?
Darth Vader: A tremor in the Pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
Governor Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now.
Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the Pants.


(reminds me a little of a George Carlin sketch where he suggested substituting the F-bomb for the word 'kill' in old westerns: "We're gonna f*** you, Sheriff. And we're gonna f*** you slow.)

Bmwhtly
01-09-2008, 08:20 PM
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my pants, in this life or the next."If you imagine Mr Crowe growling it like he did in teh film, it's possibly the funniest thing ever.


One more from Serenity:
"Attention Crew, we have a little problem with our pants so we'll likely experience some turbulence.. and then explode"

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 08:21 PM
Terminator: I will be pants.

scarletpeaches
01-09-2008, 08:23 PM
Another Gladiator line, which is my favourite - it's not even from Commodus! But there's a world of sarcasm in the pause, and Crowe presents it perfectly in my opinion...

"The time for honouring your pants will soon be at an end...Highness."

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 08:26 PM
From Life of Brian:

Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought pants?
Reg: Oh, pants - shut up!

scarletpeaches
01-09-2008, 08:28 PM
Gandhi:

"Let us all make a secret vow in our pants..."

ChaosTitan
01-09-2008, 08:40 PM
Spaceballs:

"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former pants."

"So, Lone Star, now you see that pants will always triumph because good is dumb."

"It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about pants... It's not us!"

Anonymisty
01-09-2008, 10:56 PM
Not mine, but one I love is from Fellowship of the Ring

Gandalf: Do not take me for a conjuror of cheap pants!

And one by me from Captain Blood

Blood: Give 'em the hot pants broadside!

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 11:01 PM
I have to post this. Just have to. Again, from Atonement:

My friend Paul Marshall, the chocolate pants.

althrasher
01-09-2008, 11:05 PM
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my pants. Prepare to die."

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 11:07 PM
Ghostbusters: I'm afraid of no pants... Pants Busters!

CaroGirl
01-09-2008, 11:19 PM
Fight Club: Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement, it's called Project Pants.

Indiana Jones:
Marion: You're not the man I knew ten years ago.
Indiana: It's not the years, honey, it's the pants.

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 11:27 PM
Yoda: Pants matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my pants, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.

Pants is the path to the dark side. Pants leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Great warrior. Pants not make one great.

althrasher
01-09-2008, 11:38 PM
Primal Fear: "He stole the archbishop's pants?"

maestrowork
01-09-2008, 11:39 PM
The Da Vinci Code: this holds the key to finding the Holy Pants.

Sophia
01-09-2008, 11:45 PM
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your pants move.

Tiger
01-09-2008, 11:48 PM
How about movie titles?

"Pants Wars"

"Pants Bill"

"Pants [Born] Free"

"Pants Addams"

C.bronco
01-09-2008, 11:57 PM
"Fasten your pants! It's going to be a bumpy night!" All About Eve

Gravity
01-10-2008, 12:33 AM
Last line of the movie The Front Page: "The son-of-a-bitch stole my PANTS!"

close thread

althrasher
01-10-2008, 12:40 AM
Aladdin: I can show you the pants...

melaniehoo
01-10-2008, 12:42 AM
No one puts pants in the corner.

althrasher
01-10-2008, 12:46 AM
I'll get you, my pretty...and your little pants, too!!!

benbradley
01-10-2008, 12:51 AM
Many don't know that Haggis was going to be in the original "Airplane!" movie, but his scene was cut. I have a "pre-edit cut" of the movie in which he says:

It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit panting.

melaniehoo
01-10-2008, 12:53 AM
The Derek Zoolander School for Pants Who Don't Read So Good.

ChunkyC
01-10-2008, 01:13 AM
Many don't know that Haggis was going to be in the original "Airplane!" movie, but his scene was cut. I have a "pre-edit cut" of the movie in which he says:

It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit panting.
:roll: :Clap:

Tiger
01-10-2008, 01:13 AM
Madonna in Dick Tracy: "You don't know whether to kiss me, or pants me."

Long Kiss Goodnight: "I can see from your pants here that you're not a wealthy man."

Titanic ♫ "Every night in my pants, I see you, I feel you"

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: "PANTS? In a knife fight" Throw in: "You sure we put enough pants in there, Butch?"

Magnificent Seven: "We deal in pants, friend."

melaniehoo
01-10-2008, 01:15 AM
Titanic ♫ "Every night in my pants, I see you, I feel you"

That reminds me of the game we play with Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes - swap eyes for thighs. :D


You can't handle the pants!

Tiger
01-10-2008, 01:18 AM
Forgot Enter the Dragon: "Pants... Don't hit back"

Raiders of the Lost Ark: "Pants... Why did it have to be pants?"

Babe: "Is it true? Are pants for eatin'?"

ChunkyC
01-10-2008, 01:18 AM
Monty Python and The Hold Grail:

King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no pants left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

maestrowork
01-10-2008, 01:34 AM
Brokeback Mountain: I wish I knew how to quit pants.

Tiger
01-10-2008, 01:52 AM
Hey, this game is fun:

Casino Royale: "Stop touching your pants!" "One more word, and I shall have you pantsed"

The Shadow: "Who knows what evil lurks in the pants of men?"

Apocalypes Now: "..think he was wound too tight for pants"

Star Wars: the Empire Strikes Back: "Judge me by my pants do you, hmmm?"

Soldier: "I'm going to pants them all, sir."

The Hunt for Red October: "Careful, Ryan... Mosht things in here don't react well to pantsh"

A certain blue aardvaark: "Alright, pants: I know you're in there...."

melaniehoo
01-10-2008, 01:55 AM
Pants.


from Citizen Kane (thanks Tiger!)

maestrowork
01-10-2008, 02:16 AM
Titanic: Jack, I'm panting!

Serenity
01-10-2008, 04:15 AM
Pants? We don't need no stinking pants!

althrasher
01-10-2008, 04:46 AM
Maria: I love Tony!

Anita: I know. I loved pants.

scarletpeaches
01-10-2008, 04:56 AM
Shakespeare in Love:

"Who would have thought it? There is something better than pants."

joyce
01-10-2008, 05:52 AM
"Every time a bell rings an angel gets their pants" It's a wonderful life

scarletpeaches
01-10-2008, 05:57 AM
"Yuh stole muh pants and I want yuh to put it raht." John Shooter, Secret Window.

joyce
01-10-2008, 06:00 AM
"The pants are alive, with the sound of music" Sound of Music

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-10-2008, 06:20 AM
"That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is pants".

Lyra Jean
01-10-2008, 06:32 AM
E.T.
Elliot E.T. Go pants, E.T. go pants!

dancingandflying
01-10-2008, 06:37 AM
from 300:
"this is... PANTS!"

Ol' Fashioned Girl
01-10-2008, 06:39 AM
A Golden Oldie, from 'The Quiet Man':

"Well, then. Now. I'll begin at the beginnin'. A fine soft day in the spring, it was, when the train pulled into Castletown, three hours late as usual, and himself got off. He didn't have the look of an American tourist at all about him. Not a camera on him; what was worse, not even pants."

scarletpeaches
01-10-2008, 06:41 AM
The Simpsons Movie:

Spiderpants, Spiderpants, does whatever a Spiderpants does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, 'cause he's a pants. LOOK OUT! Here comes the Spiderpants.

maestrowork
01-10-2008, 06:44 AM
The Godfather: I'm going to make him pants he can't refuse.

Sunset Blvd.: Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my pants.

Apocalypse Now: I love the smell of napalm in the pants.

Silence of the Lambs: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his pants with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Thhththtttthhhthhhhhthhhp.

Joe270
01-10-2008, 08:19 AM
You can't handle the pants!

benbradley
01-10-2008, 08:24 AM
Nah, the obvious line is:

"I love the smell of pants in the morning."


Spacepants: "Prepare the ship for Ludicrous Pants!"


And then there's this, spoken to a very frightened sweatshop worker:

"Go ahead. Make my pants."


Ben "May The Pants Be With You" Bradley

maestrowork
01-10-2008, 09:01 AM
That a spoonful of sugar makes the pants go down... the pants go down... the pants go down... in a most delightful way.

nerds
01-10-2008, 09:26 PM
Treasure Island



It's worse than Mutiny, Squire. It's pants. And if they're successful you won't see anything at all because you will be quite dead!

Fox The Cave
01-11-2008, 12:40 AM
300: This. Is. Pants!

Fight Club: We wash your pants. DO NOT FUCK WITH US!

Pulp Fiction: You know what they put on pants in Holland? Mayonnaise.

The Godfather: Luca Brasi sleeps with the pants.

And here comes a The-Departed-Thon:

The Departed: No one gives it to ya, ya have to take pants.

The Departed: No pants, no laundry!

The Departed: Fritzy's got the pants...

The Departed: Why're you pretending to be pants?

The Departed: We would be pants. You calling us pants, trainee?

The Departed: We deal with pants here at SIU.

The Departed: You're not looking at us, you're pants.

The Departed: I don't need pants either, I like it.

The Departed: People have doubts, and pants. Well not pants, but doubts.

The Departed: You're never gonna get this Frank...I have to find my pants!

Thats enough for now!

Fox The Cave
01-11-2008, 01:02 AM
Heh, came up with some more I just couldn't hold back on posting:

The Departed: You accuse me once, alright. You accuse me twice, I quit. You cause me to fear for my life, and i'll put a fucking bullet between your pants like you were anyone else.

And a variation...

The Departed: The Departed: You accuse me once, alright. You accuse me twice, I quit. You cause me to fear for my pants, and i'll put a fucking bullet between your eyes like you were anyone else.

The Departed: Is this what this is all about? All that fuckin', and all that killin', and no pants.

The Departed: What is this, a Citizens Pants?

The Departed: What about the pants? Madolyn?! WHAT ABOUT THE PANTS?

The Departed: It's alright, i'm a detective. I'll find you. No sir, just kidding - I need your pants.

The Departed: "The boss needs your pants."
"Pants? I don't have pants."

The Departed: "What is it you expect from these meetings?"
"Honestly? Pants."

The Departed: No pants. I like that.

The Departed: "You know a Shawn Costigan down on Elm Street?"
" Yeah sure, he's my pants."

The Departed: Wheres ya pants? Wheres ya fuckin' pants?!

The Departed: We'd miss a hell of a lot less if you made your pants available to us.

The Departed: Patriot Pants, Patriot Pants, I love it!

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 01:34 AM
Do the chickens have large pants?

Tiger
01-11-2008, 02:00 AM
Do androids dream of electric pants?

Shane: "You hit him with your pants, Shane. I hate you!"

Lyra Jean
01-11-2008, 02:39 AM
Underdog - There's no need to fear underpants is here.
Underpants oh help Underpants.

Neverending Story:

"He already knows it he just has to call it out."
"This can't be real. This can't be happening."
"Bastian, do what you dream Bastian. Call my pants. Bastian please, save us!"

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 02:51 AM
National Treasure:

So let's recap: We've broken into Buckingham Palace, and the Oval Office, stolen a page from the President's super-secret book, and actually kidnapped the President of the United States. What are we gonna do next, short-sheet the Pope's pants?

It contains all of our nation's secrets. I need to see that pants.
The only way you'll ever see that pants is if you get elected President.

A man has only one pants. But history can remember you forever.

You're a pants hunter, aren't you?
I'm just a man, trying to make his mark...

I need your pants?
Does it involve treasures?

Sir, please dismount the pants!

Ben Gates: You're wearing the pants I got you.
Abigail Chase: So?
Ben Gates: So I think it smells kind of pretty.

shakeysix
01-11-2008, 03:00 AM
brandon de wilde following alan ladd as he rides into the sunset: come back panth! come back!

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 03:01 AM
P.S. I Love Pants.

Fox The Cave
01-11-2008, 03:49 AM
And one more for ya...

The Departed: You Johnny Sullivan's pants?

Ah, I just can't help myself...

The Departed: Live with your pants?

Just one more...

The Departed: They put hate in your pants!

Fox The Cave
01-11-2008, 06:49 AM
Alright guys, this one is ONLY funny if you imagine it being said the exact way the original line is said. It's the final line of the film, with Sullivan holding his groceries. You have to imagine him saying it with that look of final resignation and acceptance on his face...

The Departed: Pants.

scarletpeaches
01-11-2008, 07:11 AM
Hey, I've got one!!

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody pants off!"

Joe270
01-11-2008, 07:48 AM
The pants are alive, with the sound of music.

Congrats, Maestro, for pantsing Napoleon Dynamite. More Napoleon:

Tina, ya fat lard, come and get some pants.

shakeysix
01-11-2008, 09:23 AM
"Luke! I am your pants!"

althrasher
01-11-2008, 09:26 AM
...and Justice for All: "I'm out of order! You're out of order! These whole PANTS are out of order!"

Lyra Jean
01-11-2008, 09:49 AM
Titantic:
"Jack this is where we first pants."
"I'll never let go pants. I'll never let go."

The Secret of NIMH:
"You must move your house to the lee of the pants"

althrasher
01-11-2008, 10:05 AM
Matrix:
"Follow the white pants."
"Take this pill...and you see how far the pants hole goes."

MattW
01-11-2008, 04:51 PM
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' pants attached to their heads!

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 07:33 PM
Little Miss Sunshine: You're in love with pants? That's silly.

Brokeback Mountain: Jack Fucking Pants.

rosebud1981
01-11-2008, 07:46 PM
"I love the smell of pants in the morning."
- Apocalypse Now

"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful pants."

- Casablanca

"Pants? Where we're going we don't need pants."

- Back to the Future

:)

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 07:49 PM
Atonement: In my dreams I kiss your pants, your sweet, wet pants.

Fox The Cave
01-11-2008, 08:12 PM
This isn't a movie, but it deserves some Pantisms. It sure as hell does. Jack Bauer does it best.

24 - We're running out of pants!

24 - Oh, i've been waiting for pants.

24 - Terrorists have kidnapped my wife and pants.

24 - Bill, I don't want to die for pants

24 - Take those pants off him!

24 - I know what's being askd of me Curtis - you don't need your pants.

24 - Before I do this, i'd like to clean pants.

24 - Fouad, where is your pants?

24 - Pants are the President.

24 - I'm doing this for the pants of this nation!

24 - Our government has no pants, Christopher! Not while men like Charles Logan run it!

24 - Yeah, she used to be my pants.

24 - He's coming here, to stop the pants.

24 - GOD DAMMIT, WHERES THE PANTS!?!?!?

24 - We're talking about taking down the Pants of the United States.

24 - Audrey...Audrey...(tearfully)...I love pants.

24 - Does pants roll out of your mouth everytime you open it, or just to me?

24 - You'll get your pants.

24 - I can get you pants by the President of the United States!

24 - Nina, you killed my pants.

benbradley
01-11-2008, 09:13 PM
There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Ferpantso
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Ferpantso
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Ferpantso

C.bronco
01-11-2008, 09:20 PM
Knowing me, knowing you,
It's the pants I can do...


(Why I admit that I know ABBA lyrics in a public forum is beyond me.)

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 09:33 PM
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the pants.

davids
01-11-2008, 09:40 PM
I DON'T KNOW A LOT OF FILM LINES-DOCTOR PANTS I PRESUME-TITLE IS ALL I GOT IF YOU DON'T MIND

GONE WITH THE PANTS

THE GREEN PANTS

THE THREE PANTS

I COULD GO ON BUT MY PANTS ARE GETTING TOO TIGHT!

SORRY DAVE LEAVES WITH HIS PANTS IN HAND!!!!

maestrowork
01-11-2008, 09:44 PM
Beauty and the Beast: Pants as old as time...

Tiger
01-12-2008, 12:08 AM
The Godfather: I'm going to make him pants he can't refuse.

"...either his signature or his pants would be on that contract."

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: "You fought better'n 20 English pants."

The Full Monty: "Anti-fat bastard pants they've not."

Eddie Murphy (pick one) "Get the pants outta here!"

Hamlet: "To pants, or not to pants..."

Macbeth: "Out, damned pants"

Shall We Dance: 「パンツがやっぱり変。。。」

maestrowork
01-12-2008, 02:12 AM
Pants is to never have to say you're sorry.

Tiger
01-12-2008, 02:38 AM
What was that classic? "Pants me, you fool!"

shakeysix
01-12-2008, 07:26 AM
Lady Macbeth: unpants me now!

ChaosTitan
01-12-2008, 07:36 AM
Fellowship of the Ring: "Pants shall not pass!"

Newsies: "Open the pants and seize the day..."

Peter Pan: "All you need is faith and trust. Oh! And something I forgot...pants." "Pants?" "Yup, just a little bit of pixie pants."

maestrowork
01-12-2008, 08:31 AM
Oh Romeo, Romeo, where art pants?

Joe270
01-12-2008, 10:26 AM
The Oxpants Incident.

Debbie Pants Hollywood.

shakeysix
01-12-2008, 01:20 PM
"We're Joads. We don't look to nobody for pants."

rosebud1981
01-12-2008, 05:36 PM
'Of all the pants in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine.'

'Life is like a box of pants. You never know what you're going to get.'

ChaosTitan
01-12-2008, 07:49 PM
"Let's be bad pants."

Lyra Jean
01-12-2008, 08:17 PM
Macbeth: "Out damned pants!"

HeronW
01-12-2008, 08:25 PM
To pants or not to pants, that is the question!

I wear my pants on my sleeve.

My kingdom for a pants!

nerds
01-12-2008, 08:44 PM
The African Queen


Charlie: We can't do that!
Rose: How do you know? You never tried it.
Charlie: Well, yeah, but I never tried shooting myself in the pants neither.

ChaosTitan
01-12-2008, 09:00 PM
"Keaton once said 'I don't believe in Pants, but I'm afraid of Him.' Well, I believe in Pants, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze."

ChunkyC
01-12-2008, 10:04 PM
Movie titles (pardonez-moi if some of these were done upthread already):

Quest for Pants

Pants of Fire

Lord of the Pants: The Fellowship of the Pants

EP: The Extra Pants

Gone With The Pants

Back to the Pants

To Live or Die in Pants

A Clockwork Pants

2001: A Pants Odyssey

Star Trek: The Pants of Khan

DragonHeart
01-14-2008, 08:38 AM
Jack: Nobody move! Dropped me pants.

Barbossa: There's not been a gatherin' like this in our lifetime.
Jack: And I owe them all pants.

~DragonHeart~

Tiger
01-14-2008, 10:58 PM
The Shining:

"All work and no pants makes Jack a dull boy"

ottomadenedamotto
05-18-2010, 07:28 PM
Take a line a famous film or work of literature, replacing a word with the word pants, for humor.

Example:
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some pants that I've been turning over in my mind ever since."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Cella
05-18-2010, 07:35 PM
Henry David Thoreau-
"Our truest life is when we are in our pants awake. "

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 07:44 PM
How about a corny song or two?

"Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-pants Joe?"

"Who let the pants out?"

Mom'sWrite
05-18-2010, 08:17 PM
Go ahead, make my pants.

SWest
05-18-2010, 08:19 PM
A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the pants of its people.
-Mohandas Gandhi

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 08:20 PM
The Beatles: "Got To Get You Into My Pants"

flyingtart
05-18-2010, 08:30 PM
"A Horse, A Horse, My Pants for a horse!" Shakespeare, Richard III

Mom'sWrite
05-18-2010, 08:39 PM
"Of all the pants in all towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

DeleyanLee
05-18-2010, 08:41 PM
"Do or do not, there is no pants." -- Yoda

CDSinex
05-18-2010, 08:47 PM
“Good pants make good neighbours.” (The Mending Wall, Robert Frost)

ottomadenedamotto
05-18-2010, 09:08 PM
"Take your stinking pants off me, you damn dirty ape." (Planet of the Apes)

SWest
05-18-2010, 09:10 PM
"I don't really feel like I have to have a debate with my husband over pants."
-Laura Bush

CDSinex
05-18-2010, 09:13 PM
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable pants. -Thomas Jefferson

ottomadenedamotto
05-18-2010, 09:15 PM
"With great pants comes great responsibility."
-various

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 09:42 PM
The Beatles again: "All You Need Is Pants"

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 09:45 PM
Experimental version (mostly mental) with a synonym for pants:

Simon and Garfunkle: "Mama Don't Take My Corduroys Away"

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 09:46 PM
JFK: "And so my fellow Americans, ask not what your pants can do for you - ask what you can do for your pants"

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 09:49 PM
Apocalypse Now: "I love the smell of pants in the morning."

Wayne K
05-18-2010, 10:00 PM
Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The pants! Now that's the reason!

Lethal weapon

SWest
05-18-2010, 10:05 PM
"Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time. No one learns more about a pair-of-pants than the person at the bottom."
-Sandra Day O'Connor

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 10:17 PM
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre: "Pants? We ain't got no pants. We don't need no pants! I don't have to show you any stinkin' pants!"

Alpha Echo
05-18-2010, 10:22 PM
This is making me laugh! I'll give it a shot.

"No one puts pants in a corner." Dirty Dancing

CDSinex
05-18-2010, 10:29 PM
But soft, what pants through yonder window breaks? Romeo and Juliet

Wayne K
05-18-2010, 10:33 PM
You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because of your pants. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn. I know you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath but the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautful. Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way you're your own problem.

From Wolf

Nymtoc
05-18-2010, 10:42 PM
"Fiddle-dee-dee. Pants, pants, pants; this pants talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream...If either of you boys says 'pants' just once again, I'll go in the house and slam the door."

Gone With the Wind

flyingtart
05-18-2010, 10:46 PM
"You're gonna need bigger pants." Jaws.

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 11:16 PM
Monty Python: "Pants, egg, pants, pants, bacon and pants"

archerjoe
05-18-2010, 11:18 PM
Ralph Kramden: "One of these days, Alice - pow! Right in the pants!"

SWest
05-18-2010, 11:24 PM
"And now, of course this is another thing I didn't count on, that now as the governor of the state of California, I am selling pants worldwide. You see that? Selling."
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

ottomadenedamotto
05-19-2010, 02:08 AM
"They only lack a light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you..... my only pants." (from Superman)

Albedo of Zero
05-19-2010, 02:25 AM
Life's like a box of pants, Forrest. ~ Forrest Gump



You can't handle the pants! ~ A Few Good Men

Nymtoc
05-19-2010, 02:29 AM
"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the pants of strangers."

A Streetcar Named Desire

Albedo of Zero
05-19-2010, 02:29 AM
Well, it's not the men in your pants that counts, it's the pants in your men. ~ I'm No Angel ~ Mae West

SWest
05-19-2010, 02:31 AM
“There is nothing new in the realization that the Constitution sometimes insulates the criminality of a few in order to protect the pants of us all.”
-Justice Antonin Scalia

CDSinex
05-19-2010, 03:50 AM
I'm from Philadelphia. We never talk about pants in public. -Manhattan, Diane Keaton as Mary

Wayne K
05-19-2010, 03:53 AM
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your pants you seem to say so.

CDSinex
05-19-2010, 03:58 AM
My lord, there was no such stuff in my pants.-ibid

Albedo of Zero
05-19-2010, 06:53 AM
Pants, I love you and respect you very much. But I will kill you dead before this day ends. ~ Old Man and the Sea ~ Hemingway

Albedo of Zero
05-19-2010, 06:58 AM
We shall squeeze pants empty and then we shall fill pants with ourselves. ~ 1984

Haggis
05-19-2010, 06:59 AM
"I did not have pants with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."

~Slick

Haggis
05-19-2010, 07:00 AM
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down those pants."

~the Gipper

Haggis
05-19-2010, 07:03 AM
"Hope and pants."

~O

SWest
05-19-2010, 07:03 AM
"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for pants to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie the Pooh

Nymtoc
05-19-2010, 07:07 AM
"The, uh, stuff that pants are made of."

Sam Spade, The Maltese Falcon

Haggis
05-19-2010, 07:08 AM
"Life is like a bowl of pants."

~FG

CDSinex
05-19-2010, 07:12 AM
I think that I shall never see pants lovely as a tree. -Joyce Kilmer, Trees

Drachen Jager
05-19-2010, 08:16 AM
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants! - Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

Matera the Mad
05-19-2010, 08:22 AM
"Christmas won't be Christmas without any pants," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.

- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Nymtoc
05-19-2010, 08:36 AM
"You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will more willingly part withal; except my pants, except my pants, except my pants."

Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2

flyingtart
05-19-2010, 12:32 PM
"I am big. It's the pants that got small." Sunset Boulevard

archerjoe
05-19-2010, 04:13 PM
"Apple's iPants will change the way you live." Steve Jobs

archerjoe
05-19-2010, 04:19 PM
"Pants are good" Gordon Gecko

archerjoe
05-19-2010, 04:19 PM
"To all the pants I've loved before..." Willie and Julio

archerjoe
05-19-2010, 04:20 PM
"No pants for you!" Seinfeld's Pants Nazi

SWest
05-19-2010, 04:21 PM
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your pants, you can never tell."
-Joan Crawford

Woof
05-19-2010, 04:23 PM
"Off with his pants!"

King Richard III, Act III, Scene IV

Alpha Echo
05-19-2010, 05:24 PM
All men are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their pants are threatened.
Maya Angelou

archerjoe
05-19-2010, 07:01 PM
"Just the pants, Ma'am." Joe Friday

Alpha Echo
05-19-2010, 07:09 PM
Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give pants a chance to float up. And it will...

Hope Floats

CDSinex
05-19-2010, 07:21 PM
Pants to right of them, pants to left of them, pants in front of them ... (The Charge of the Pants Brigade, Tennyson.)

Woof
05-19-2010, 09:16 PM
"Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your pants."

--Karl Marx

SWest
05-19-2010, 09:20 PM
"I wake up every morning and I wish I were pants, and so does Jim."
-Tammy Faye Bakker

Woof
05-19-2010, 09:27 PM
"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your pants together and blow."

To Have and Have Not

SWest
05-19-2010, 09:30 PM
"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any pants."
-Abraham Lincoln

Woof
05-19-2010, 11:31 PM
"The way to a man's heart is through his pants"

--English proverb

Nymtoc
05-19-2010, 11:50 PM
"Yes! We have no pants"

Popular song from the 1920s

SWest
05-20-2010, 12:05 AM
“The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Pants.”
-Ellen DeGeneres

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 03:55 AM
"Yankee doodle came to town, riding on a pony. Stuck a feather in his pants and called it macaroni." - Old song about how crazy Americans are.

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 03:57 AM
"Old Mr. Hubbard, went to his pants, to get his poor dog a bone." - Nursery Rhyme

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 04:02 AM
"It will be the mother of all pants!" - Saddam Hussein

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 04:05 AM
"He's got the whole world, in his pants." - Folk song

CDSinex
05-20-2010, 04:08 AM
"A stitch in time saves pants." - A French Proverb often attributed to "Poor Richard".

SWest
05-20-2010, 04:10 AM
"A pair-of-pants fills drop by drop."
-Buddha

Preacher'sWife
05-20-2010, 04:15 AM
The Children’s Hour

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


BETWEEN the dark and the daylight,
When the pants are beginning to lower,


(Took out the last two lines, cuz they made this really gross.)

CDSinex
05-20-2010, 04:18 AM
Death of a Pants Salesman -A play by Arthur Miller

SWest
05-20-2010, 04:38 AM
"When police or prosecutors conceal significant exculpatory or impeaching pants, we hold, it is ordinarily incumbent on the state to set the record straight."
-Ruth Bader Ginsburg

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 04:48 AM
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is pants
-- Led Zeppelin


You're so pants, you prob'ly think this song is about you
-- Carly Simon

Love comes in pants, in dangerous flirts
and it murders your heart
they didn't tell you that part
<-- Richard Hell

SWest
05-20-2010, 04:54 AM
“All creatures must learn to coexist. That’s why the brown bear and the field mouse can share their pants in harmony. Or course, they can’t mate or the mice would explode.”
-Betty White

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 05:06 AM
Who told you to put the pants on?
Did I tell you to put the pants on?
I didn't tell you to put the pants on!
-- Jackie Chiles, attorney for Kramer

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 05:28 AM
"In the criminal justice system, there are two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their pants." - In Memoriam - Law and Order - 1990-2010

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 05:29 AM
"Pants 'em, Danno." Steve McGarrett on Hawaii Five-O

Preacher'sWife
05-20-2010, 05:46 AM
I want everyone to know that I am not responsible for the reposting of this earlier post. Drachen Jager made me do it. He said that I'm such a **sniff** "Preacher's Wife" **sniff**!

The Children’s Hour

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


BETWEEN the dark and the daylight,
When the pants are beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupation
That is known as the ****** (Crap, I still can't do it! Oh, dear Lord, I really am a Preacher's Wife!)

Preacher'sWife
05-20-2010, 05:54 AM
I like big PANTS, and I cannot lie...

They sang this in SHREK, and I don't care who wrote it.

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 05:54 AM
That'd be Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the pants with you
-- Stealer's Wheel

SWest
05-20-2010, 06:01 AM
"Can't read my,
can't read my,
no he can't read my poker pants."
-Lady Gaga

Albedo of Zero
05-20-2010, 06:06 AM
Pants, the final frontier... ~ Star Trek

Albedo of Zero
05-20-2010, 06:09 AM
Ziggy and the Pants From Mars

Albedo of Zero
05-20-2010, 06:13 AM
Bob Seger and the Silver Pants Band

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Pants

The Allman Brothers Pants

Albedo of Zero
05-20-2010, 06:14 AM
I wanna hold your paaaannttts, I wanna hold your pants. ~ The Beatles

SWest
05-20-2010, 06:16 AM
"A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming pants.""
-Jane Fonda

Albedo of Zero
05-20-2010, 06:50 AM
Raindrops keep falling on my pants. ~ Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Mom'sWrite
05-20-2010, 07:02 AM
"Rich girls don't marry poor pants, Jay Gatsby" The Great Gatsby (movie)

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 07:12 AM
"The Safety Pants" by Men Without Hats
or
"The Safety Dance" by Men Without Pants

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 07:15 AM
None are so old as those who have outlived pants.
- Henry David Thoreau, by way of archerjoe's sig line

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 07:19 AM
Paraphrasing Joyce Kilmer:

I think that I shall never glance
At poems lovely as some pants

Mom'sWrite
05-20-2010, 07:36 AM
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil pants unclean.
Romeo and Juliet--Shakespeare

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 07:51 AM
BUT
let a woman in your pants,
and you're up against a wall!
make a plan and you will find,
that she has something else in mind,
and so rather than do either
you do something else
that neither likes at all
-- Prof. Henry Higgins, in "My Fair Lady"

CDSinex
05-20-2010, 08:20 AM
These are the times that try men's pants. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and pants of man and woman. Tyranny, like pants, is not easily conquered. -The Crisis, Thomas Paine

Preacher'sWife
05-20-2010, 08:38 AM
"Let them eat pants." Marie Antoinette did NOT say this.

benbradley
05-20-2010, 09:09 AM
Pants on the ground,
Pants on the ground,
You're lookin' like a fool with your ...


Oh, sorry.

Mom'sWrite
05-20-2010, 09:11 AM
"You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your pants"

Hurricane by Neil Young

CDSinex
05-20-2010, 09:11 AM
It was the best of pants, it was the worst of pants. -Tale of Two Cities

benbradley
05-20-2010, 09:17 AM
"There is nothing to fear but pants itself."

"Ask not what your pants can do for you, ask what you can do for your pants."

"Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not a pair of pants."

"I have spoken of a thousand pants of light ... we will build a kinder, gentler pair of pants."

"Don't misunderestimate my pants"

"We will CHANGE our pants..."


ETA: "Can you hear my pants NOW?"

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 09:57 AM
"I can see Russia from my pants!"

benbradley
05-20-2010, 10:54 AM
"To thine own pants be true."

And from that other William guy:

" ... to boldly go where no pants have gone before!"

petec
05-20-2010, 11:38 AM
She woke from a dream
Her head was on fire
Why was he so nervous
He took her to the park
She crossed her arms and
Lowered her pants

Rehtt Miller-Question (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RAkdN6ZZyU)

Priene
05-20-2010, 12:34 PM
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their pants cheap

- William Shakespeare

petec
05-20-2010, 01:00 PM
He that is without pants among you, let him first cast a stone

John:8.7

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 03:46 PM
One Pants, Two Pants, Red Pants, Blue Pants by Dr. Seuss

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 03:47 PM
"The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Pants" - Timbuk3

SWest
05-20-2010, 04:47 PM
“It would be naive to think that the problems plaguing mankind today can be solved with means and methods which were applied or seemed to work in the past pants. . .”

-Mikhail Gorbachev

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 05:04 PM
"Here, hold my beer pants and watch this!" many dead rednecks

archerjoe
05-20-2010, 05:28 PM
"Hark! What light through yonder pants breaks?" Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act II

poetinahat
05-20-2010, 05:34 PM
"Read pants by AWers!"

quickWit
05-20-2010, 05:53 PM
"Leave the pants. Take the cannoli." - Pete Clemenza

SWest
05-20-2010, 05:57 PM
"Your pants makes me happy."
-quickWit

Cella
05-20-2010, 06:19 PM
"Your pants makes me crappy."
-quickWit
;)

SWest
05-20-2010, 06:22 PM
"Pants just getting good..."
-Cella

Cella
05-20-2010, 06:23 PM
"Feel pants, k?"-SWest

SWest
05-20-2010, 06:24 PM
:roll:
*rolling on pants, laughing out loud*

Trouble
05-20-2010, 06:39 PM
"I dont always wear pants... but when I do, I wear poofay pants"
the most interesting man in the world

Trouble
05-20-2010, 06:46 PM
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a pants"
Gone With the Wind.

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 07:15 PM
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your pants." - Fairy tale

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 07:16 PM
"Someone's been sleeping in my pants said pappa bear.
Someone's been sleeping in my pants too said mamma bear.
Someone's been sleeping in my pants and they're still there! said baby bear."

- Goldilocks and the three pants.

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 07:17 PM
"Cry havoc and let slip the pants of war!" - Shakespeare

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 07:20 PM
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... pants."
- Apocalypse Now.

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:20 PM
Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really pants. You're really pants.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm pants?
Henry Hill: It's pants, you know. It's a good story, it's pants, you're a pants guy.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just pants, it's... pants, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] pants how? What's pants about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? pants how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're pants.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f'ed up maybe, but I'm pants how, I mean pants like I'm a clown pants, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f'n amuse you? What do you mean pants, pants how? How am I pants?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm pants. How the 'f' am I pants, what the 'f' is so pants about me? Tell me, tell me what's pants!

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:22 PM
"May the pants be with you"
Star Wars.

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:24 PM
"There's no place like pants"
The Wizard of Oz.

"Good Morning Viet pants!"
Good Morning, Viet Nam.

"I'll make him an offer pants can't refuse"
The Godfather

"If you build it, pants will come"
Field of Dreams

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the
truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum,
the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your pants clean off, you've got
to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
Dirty Harry.

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:25 PM
"Show me the pants"
Jerry Maguire

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:28 PM
"The first rule of Pant Club is - you do not talk about Pant Club. The second rule of Pant Club is - you DO NOT talk about Pant Club."
Fight Club

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:28 PM
"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your
beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to
that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they
may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR PAAANTS!"
Braveheart

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:29 PM
"Say hello to my Little Pants"
Scarface

Trouble
05-20-2010, 07:30 PM
"I'm the king of the pants"
Titanic.

DeleyanLee
05-20-2010, 07:32 PM
"It's good to be the pants!" -- Mel Brooks, History of the World, Part I

CDSinex
05-20-2010, 07:57 PM
By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their pants to April’s breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world. -Concord Hymn, Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drachen Jager
05-20-2010, 08:09 PM
"All we are is pants in the wind." - Kansas

ottomadenedamotto
05-20-2010, 08:40 PM
"We didn't need dialogue. We had... pants!" (Sunset Boulevard )

Snowstorm
05-20-2010, 09:08 PM
"Unskinny pants" Poison

Nymtoc
05-20-2010, 09:14 PM
"I dream of Jeanie with the light brown pants."

--Stephen Foster

Snowstorm
05-20-2010, 09:18 PM
"I can see pants from my house!" Sara Palin

benbradley
05-20-2010, 09:19 PM
"I don't know nothin' 'bout pantsin' no babies!"

Snowstorm
05-20-2010, 09:21 PM
"I'll make 'em a pants he can't refuse." The Godfather

Preacher'sWife
05-20-2010, 09:25 PM
"PANTS! Huh--Good God, Ya'll
What are they good for?
Absolutely nothin'.
Say it again."

War--Edwin Starr

DeleyanLee
05-20-2010, 09:26 PM
"Pants! We don't need no stinking pants!" -- Outlaw, Blazing Saddles

Snowstorm
05-20-2010, 09:36 PM
The Taming of the Pants, Shakespeare

Nymtoc
05-20-2010, 09:44 PM
"I've grown accustomed to her pants."

--My Fair Lady